Chapter 5: Ruto and the Gibdos
Dru: Before we start, means thoughts. And I hope Kitz doesn't intrude in my story.
Kitz: Too late! I'm here!
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Dru: Chapter 5 everyone.
Everyone: Yahoo!
Dru: Shut up and get on with the story.
Link: Do I have to rescue Ruto?
Tatl: Yes. Link, You'll have to rescue her anyway or King Zora might punish you.
Link: Ok. But…
Tatl: No 'buts' will stop you from rescuing Ruto.
Link: Aww man. (plays serenade of water)Why me
The Hylian Lake
Tatl: Ooh! Pretty lake.
Link: Yeah, whatever. (puts on iron boots and zora tunic) CANNONBALL! (does a cannonball and makes a huge splash)
Tatl: Why didn't you put on your zora mask?
Link: Because I wanted to wear my iron boots and my zora tunic.
Tatl: But if you wore the mask, you would look like Mikau, and Ruto wouldn't recognize you.
Link: Oh. Dang it.
Water Temple
Tatl: Wow, this has tons of water.
Link: That's why people call it the water temple, Dimwit.
Tatl: I knew that.
Ruto: HEEEELLLP
Link: Nope. I don't want to.
Ruto: I'll give you candy and you won't have to marry me.
Link: Oh boy! Candy! Ok.
Ruto: Yay. He actually fell for it
Link: Well, here is the boss door.
Tatl: Well open it and go in.
Link: Ok.
Ruto: Help! I'm down in the water.
Morpha:
Link: Ha Ha! Morpha can't talk.
Tatl: Whatever.
Link: (hookshots the nucleus and pulls it towards him then slashes it 10 times) Ha! Morpha is dead.
Ruto: I'm free.
Link: Where's the candy?
Ruto: I was joking.
Link: HOW COULD YOU??!!
Ruto: Easily. Now marry me! (tries to kiss Link but misses)
Link: HOLY CRAP!!! I'd never marry you if you were the last female in Hyrule or Termina.
Ruto: That insults me.
Kitz: Link! You're so mean!
Link: Who cares?
Ruto: I do. (tries to kiss Link again)
Link: Get away from me! (puts on Gibdo's mask) Gibdos! If you come, there will be a delicious zora in here! (2 Gibdos come)
Ruto: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! GIBDOS!!!!!!! (Gibdos latch onto her and start biting her) OOOOOOUUUUUUCCCCCHHHHH!!!!! (makes the zora shield that Mikau makes in Majora's Mask) Ah ha Gibdos! Never mess with the sage of Water!
Gibdos: AAAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! (both die)
Dru: Wow! You can do the zora shield?
Ruto: Yep. Comes in handy.
Link: Argh! (puts on zora mask) Ha! I can be a zora too!
Ruto: Wow! You're more handsome than before.
Link: AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! (takes off zora mask and puts on goron mask)
Ruto: Um….you're ugly.
Link: That is what I wanted to hear. (backs up then rolls long enough to have spikes out then rolls over Ruto) Ha!
Ruto: OOOOUUUUUCCCCCCHHHHHH!!!!!! Come on, man! I'm a sage! You're supposed to be saving me!
Link: Oh. You're right. (to Tatl) I wonder what would happen if we just left her here.
Rauru: If you left Ruto here, Link, you'd have me to deal with.
Link: Eep! Don't hurt me! (starts rolling around on the floor with his thumb in his mouth.)
Ruto: I'm supposed to be marrying you?!!?! Never mind. The wedding's off.
Kitz: No Ruto! Don't do that! You and Link are meant to be!
Tatl: No, he and Malon are meant to be.
Malon: Yay! Rescue me next, Link!
Link: Umm, no. I thought Kitz and I were meant to be.
Kitz: NONONONONONONONONO! I'm not marrying Link! No offense to you or anything, buddy boy.
Navi: Link and Zelda are meant to be.
Link: Navi! Where've you been?!??! I spent three days in Termina looking for you!
Navi: Only three…?
Link: Well, I went back in time a lot. Hey, I saved the moon from destroying the world!
Navi: Cool! Well, I gotta go. I'm late for my appointment down at the hair salon, so I'll be drivin a truck with my high heels on.
Kitz: Isn't that a song?
Navi: It might be. Bye!
Link: NOOOOOOOOOO! Don't leave me!
Ruto: OK, back to me. Link, the wedding's off, but we can still be friends, right?
Link: Oh yeah! (gives Ruto a hug)
Malon: NOOOOOOOOO!
Dru: BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! (sends Malon whizzing down a black hole.)
Kitz: Have a safe flight!
Dru: Whatever. Anyway, it's the end of chapter 5.
Everyone: Aw man!
Dru: Whatever.
Kitz: Don't whatever me! I'm your older sister!(whacks Dru with a cast iron skillet)
Dru: IEEEEE (faints)
Kitz: Well, that's all folks!