Title: Just a Silly Feeling Chapter 7
Spoilers: Just basic knowledge, except Heroes I didn't happen cause Janet rocks
Rating: PG-13 I guess
Disclaimer: Not mine don't sue me!
AN: Thanks so much to everyone who R&R!! I'm sorry that it took me forever to put this one back out. I wouldn't keep it going if I didn't get the response I did. Hope you like it!
"Gah…" Jack mumbled into his hands. He was sitting next to Sam's bed on a stool, his feet on the bottom ring and his elbows on his knees. His hands were holding his head up.
"I know how discouraged you are Sir; just give it a little more time. Her body has gone through one hell of a trauma." Janet Fraiser looked over at him after checking her clipboard.
"I know, I know. It's all just, surreal." Janet listened patiently. "For months, we didn't know where she was, if she was alive, anything. And now, after thirty-six hours, she's here. And I don't know if I'll know her anymore." He rubbed his head again.
"That's nonsense. She's the same Sam Carter we all know. It might be hard, but she's a fighter. She'll come back." She put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. Unbeknown to them, Sam started to come out of her lucid stasis.
"You didn't see her, Doc. How she was, the look of emptiness in her eyes. She reminded me of, well, me, when I first started the Stargate program. She didn't care if she lived or died, as long as she got to kill Alumbi."
"Alumbi… Now that's the Gou'uld who had her all of this time," she interrupted. He nodded, and opened his mouth to speak again, only to shut it when he saw Sam move.
"No… stop this. I don't want to do this anymore. You can't trick me any more." She started to mumble as she moved. She sat up much faster than both of them had anticipated, which made them involuntarily jump back. Before they knew it, she was on her feet, ready to run.
"Sam! Stop this! You can't do this right now!" Jack tried to get a hold of the situation.
"Why's that? So I can go back to the cell? No! I don't think so." She already moved into a fighting stance.
"Sir, I think she's having a flashback."
"This isn't a goddamn flashback. This is the same goddamn stupid trick you use every time! I'm not going to do this anymore. You will stop." Her eyes narrowed and dilated, she started to move in her stance, ready to run.
"Carter! Stand down soldier! That's a direct order!" Jack hoped that an official order would bring her back.
"Oh right away Colonel O'Neill! Whatever you say Colonel O'Neill sir!" she yelled and gave him a mock salute before running into him. She tackled him much like a football player would, head under the armpit and arms around the waist. He let out a surprised 'umpf!' as he hit the wall and slid down. Luckily for him, Daniel, Jonas and Teal'c were on their way to see how everything was going, and arrived just in time to see everything go down.
"Sam!" Daniel called out, before he dodged a kick to the face. He knocked over an entire tray of Janet's tools before recovering his balance. Jonas slipped behind her when she tried to kick Daniel, but she noticed him and elbowed him in the chest, knocking the wind out of him. Jack was getting off of the floor when Jonas pushed him right back down.
Teal'c had her in a bear hug from the back, trying not to hurt her. As much as he had missed her, he didn't want her hurting anyone else. She was using him as leverage to try and kick whoever got into her path, screaming words that no one wanted to understand, but they did. Jack shoved Jonas off of him and grabbed her legs so she couldn't kick anyone anymore. As she was bucking, screaming, and squirming against Teal'c and Jack, Janet rushed back in with a needle full of a sedative to calm her down. It took a few seconds for the medicine to even kick in, but she eventually stopped moving as harshly as before. They both carried her back to her gurney and laid her down when she became still enough. She was still murmuring as she slipped into a passed out state.
"What the hell was that?" Janet asked.
"That, Doc, was just a glimpse of what I was talking about," Jack said as he pulled Jonas up. Everyone took a second to take in the destruction caused by their newly found friend.
"She had a flashback, Sir. There was no way she could control what happened. In her mind, she was still in Alumbi's control. And she wanted out." They all sat around the briefing table, filling in General Hammond about what happened.
"Doctor Fraiser, is there any way we can prevent this from happening again?" His voice was soft with concern. He was as distressed as anyone to hear this information.
"Unfortunately, no. In order to prevent her from hurting herself or anyone else, I had Major Carter put into restraints."
"Are you stupid!" Jack screamed from the opposite side of the table.
"Colonel O'Neill! This is a warning!" Hammond yelled back. As much as he liked Jack, he couldn't have him yelling at everyone.
"Sorry, sir. But what I mean is, well, are you stupid, Doc? You don't know what she went through the last few months! The last thing she needs is to wake up and think she's back there, again, with lord knows what happening to her! If she thinks she's back there now, and she wakes up with restraints on, we'll lose her forever. Sir, we need to go get them off now." Jack pleaded to Hammond. With only a curt nod, a colonel, two doctors, and two aliens were running down the hallway.
"Sam, I'm so sorry we put you in these." Janet started apologizing to the silent woman as she started to unbind her.
"Please Sam, say something." Daniel sat down next to her and put his hand over hers. Her unwavering stare moved to where they touched. Her look of impudence turned to one of confusion.
"Yes Sam! I know you remember us. This is us, here, at the SGC, in the infirmary, with everyone you know and trust!" His quiet shouts only brought more looks of confusion.
"You aren't with Alumbi anymore, Sam," Jonas interjected. She jerked her head to Jonas and narrowed her eyes, remembering Alumbi. She jerked her hand away from Daniel and crossed her arms in front of her.
"Are you stupid?!" Daniel yelled at Jonas. Daniel didn't care that at the moment he was acting like Jack.
"DoctorJackson, I believe JonasQuinn was merely trying to remind MajorCarter where she is," Teal'c put in.
"I understand that Teal'c, but now any chance I had with Sam is gone! I was getting through to her, she was starting to understand us. And he brought him up! Of all of the stupid things I've had to deal with in the last eight years! And believe me there have been a lot!" Daniel was about a foot away from Jonas' face.
"Alright! Enough already! No more yelling." Jack walked out of the infirmary. "Yes, Jonas screwed up. But we can't let that rule how we're going to help Carter. I'm going to go back in there, alone for now. So everyone, go get something to eat, take a shower, sleep, whatever. Just calm down." Everyone nodded their heads and started to walk away. "Oh, and Daniel? I took that personally…" Jack retorted as he held his hand perched mockingly over his heart. Daniel looked at him for a second, unmoved. He looked down, ran his hands through his hair, and smiled at him.
"It's hard Jack. I'm worried about her. I've missed her so much." He took his glasses of to rub the bridge of his nose.
"I know Daniel. We all have. We all have." Jack patted him on the shoulder before walking away.
"So, having fun yet? Or are you still not talking…" For some reason, he felt like he was questioning a prisoner or something. That's when he got an idea.
"Remember when you had that accident with the entity? God, de je vour all over again. You sat there, looking at me so empty. And I'm not gonna lie, it scared the crap outta me. Just like you are now. Would he know about that?" She stiffened a little. "Still think I'm lying? Ask me anything. About anything. About the SGC, you, your family, anything only I would know." She started thinking.
"What was my childhood dog's name?"
"You never had one."
"What is my brother's name?"
"Mark. Come on, Carter. Gimme a hard one, like what's the square root of pie?"
"How many times have I died?"
"Too many."
"Am I dead now?"
"No." He was almost shocked at the seriousness of her questions.
"Where was our first kiss?" Jack smiled at that one. He leaned back in his chair, crossed his leg over his knee, threaded his hands together behind his head, and started to tell his tale.
"Well, you see, I was taking an honest to goodness shower in the Men's locker room when there was a nasty virus going around. I was almost done when I was jumped by a young captain." He let a smug grin cross his face. "By the way Carter, do you still have that scar?"
The scar comment broke through to her. Her eyes widened in shock. Alumbi never knew how she got that scar. She looked away, and covered her mouth with her hand.
"Oh my god..."
"It is us, Sam. We're here. And we're not going anywhere." He put a reassuring hand on her arm as she shook her head.
"I wanna go home."
"You are home."
"No, to my house. I wanna go home, to see it. I wanna go home." It all came out in one breath.
"I'll talk to the Doc and the General. I think it'd probably help." Just then, Daniel came in.
"Sam, are you doing better?" He stood beside Jack, who had just stood up.
"Yeah, Daniel, um, sorry about the whole, trying to kick you thing." She did a quick smile and a nervous laugh while she was trying not let out a sob.
"It's quite alright Sam. I'm always on my toes around you." He smiled at her and rubbed her arm. He heard the silent sob, and knew she was back.
"MajorCarter, it is uplifting to see you awake." He also was quite when he talked to her. His eyes told her how happy he was that she was back.
"Hi. Sorry about, yeah not going to say it again." Jonas came in after Teal'c. He tried to avoid eye contact with everyone, but he was too happy to see her.
"Me too, about the knocking the wind out of you." The team gathered around her, but not too closely. They knew she was going to need space, but they were going to go to her boundaries.
"You guys keep her company. I'm going to go talk to the General and Fraiser."
"It's…clean." Sam walked into her house for the first time in six months. They let her out of the infirmary, only with Jack as a guide and driver. She seemed almost in shock as she touched everything.
"You didn't think we'd let your house go to junk, did ya?" Jack replied as he walked in after her.
"Well, I don't know. I was MIA for six months, I though for sure you would have boxed everything up and sold the house." She picked up a picture of her dad.
"Has he been told? That I've been found and everything?"
"He was the one who told us where you were. He only came to deliver the message and then leave again. I'm sure he's been told. We had one more week."
"What? One more week for what?"
"To take care of your house before, everything." He said his words very quietly, and stuck his hands in his pockets. She looked away from him and put the picture back down.
"Well aren't I lucky." She sat walked over to her couch and sat down, looking around the room, taking everything in. She looked like someone who went back to their childhood house for the first time in twenty years.
"Hey, are you ok?" He sat down next to her.
"Just fine, just fine."
"You look tired. You should get some sleep."
"I'm not really tired."
"Yeah, you are. I mean, you have these huge bags under your eyes, and I heard those could turn to wrinkles, and you could use to gain a few pounds too." He stated in his special joking voice for her. She only smiled, then looked down.
"Yeah, I guess I do look like hell."
"Well, I didn't say that…"
"I, um, I don't want to. You know." She looked at her folded hands that were sitting in her lap.
"You still don't believe us. You still think you're back there, with him." She bit her lower lip, but couldn't meet his eyes.
"You don't really understand."
"I do more than you think."
"But not in the same way." She let a growl of frustration escape as she rubbed her hands on her face.
"I can't tell you how many times I've been here, how many times I let myself believe that I've been found, and I'm home, and I'm safe. I don't think I can do it again. And God! How stupid am I for saying this out loud! Just more ammo to use against me. So, I figure, if I don't go to sleep," she started
"Then you won't wake up back there," he finished for her. She slowly nodded her head. He knew that even saying that out loud meant that she had some hope in her, and that all was not lost. But it wasn't going to be a walk through a chocolate tasting factory either.
"Tell you what. Let's take a nap. I'll stay with you. And when you wake up, I'll be right here."
"But what if your not?"
"But I will be. Please Sam, trust me." She looked into his eyes and finally saw his desperation. He needed this just as badly as she did. She wondered how many nights he spent awake, needing her, and wondering if she would be needing him.
'What the hell, why not,' she thought to herself. She shook her head yes. He put his arm around her and brought her closer to him. They both put their feet on her couch. Luckily, she had a really wide one. Her head and hand were resting on his chest, and he was holding her next to him. Before drifting off, she thought that it was a little funny that she didn't feel too awkward. Maybe because she was just so tired….
"Don't worry, I'll be here," he whispered before he dozed off himself.
Oh so TBC!! Keep tooned!
Spoilers: Just basic knowledge, except Heroes I didn't happen cause Janet rocks
Rating: PG-13 I guess
Disclaimer: Not mine don't sue me!
AN: Thanks so much to everyone who R&R!! I'm sorry that it took me forever to put this one back out. I wouldn't keep it going if I didn't get the response I did. Hope you like it!
"Gah…" Jack mumbled into his hands. He was sitting next to Sam's bed on a stool, his feet on the bottom ring and his elbows on his knees. His hands were holding his head up.
"I know how discouraged you are Sir; just give it a little more time. Her body has gone through one hell of a trauma." Janet Fraiser looked over at him after checking her clipboard.
"I know, I know. It's all just, surreal." Janet listened patiently. "For months, we didn't know where she was, if she was alive, anything. And now, after thirty-six hours, she's here. And I don't know if I'll know her anymore." He rubbed his head again.
"That's nonsense. She's the same Sam Carter we all know. It might be hard, but she's a fighter. She'll come back." She put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. Unbeknown to them, Sam started to come out of her lucid stasis.
"You didn't see her, Doc. How she was, the look of emptiness in her eyes. She reminded me of, well, me, when I first started the Stargate program. She didn't care if she lived or died, as long as she got to kill Alumbi."
"Alumbi… Now that's the Gou'uld who had her all of this time," she interrupted. He nodded, and opened his mouth to speak again, only to shut it when he saw Sam move.
"No… stop this. I don't want to do this anymore. You can't trick me any more." She started to mumble as she moved. She sat up much faster than both of them had anticipated, which made them involuntarily jump back. Before they knew it, she was on her feet, ready to run.
"Sam! Stop this! You can't do this right now!" Jack tried to get a hold of the situation.
"Why's that? So I can go back to the cell? No! I don't think so." She already moved into a fighting stance.
"Sir, I think she's having a flashback."
"This isn't a goddamn flashback. This is the same goddamn stupid trick you use every time! I'm not going to do this anymore. You will stop." Her eyes narrowed and dilated, she started to move in her stance, ready to run.
"Carter! Stand down soldier! That's a direct order!" Jack hoped that an official order would bring her back.
"Oh right away Colonel O'Neill! Whatever you say Colonel O'Neill sir!" she yelled and gave him a mock salute before running into him. She tackled him much like a football player would, head under the armpit and arms around the waist. He let out a surprised 'umpf!' as he hit the wall and slid down. Luckily for him, Daniel, Jonas and Teal'c were on their way to see how everything was going, and arrived just in time to see everything go down.
"Sam!" Daniel called out, before he dodged a kick to the face. He knocked over an entire tray of Janet's tools before recovering his balance. Jonas slipped behind her when she tried to kick Daniel, but she noticed him and elbowed him in the chest, knocking the wind out of him. Jack was getting off of the floor when Jonas pushed him right back down.
Teal'c had her in a bear hug from the back, trying not to hurt her. As much as he had missed her, he didn't want her hurting anyone else. She was using him as leverage to try and kick whoever got into her path, screaming words that no one wanted to understand, but they did. Jack shoved Jonas off of him and grabbed her legs so she couldn't kick anyone anymore. As she was bucking, screaming, and squirming against Teal'c and Jack, Janet rushed back in with a needle full of a sedative to calm her down. It took a few seconds for the medicine to even kick in, but she eventually stopped moving as harshly as before. They both carried her back to her gurney and laid her down when she became still enough. She was still murmuring as she slipped into a passed out state.
"What the hell was that?" Janet asked.
"That, Doc, was just a glimpse of what I was talking about," Jack said as he pulled Jonas up. Everyone took a second to take in the destruction caused by their newly found friend.
"She had a flashback, Sir. There was no way she could control what happened. In her mind, she was still in Alumbi's control. And she wanted out." They all sat around the briefing table, filling in General Hammond about what happened.
"Doctor Fraiser, is there any way we can prevent this from happening again?" His voice was soft with concern. He was as distressed as anyone to hear this information.
"Unfortunately, no. In order to prevent her from hurting herself or anyone else, I had Major Carter put into restraints."
"Are you stupid!" Jack screamed from the opposite side of the table.
"Colonel O'Neill! This is a warning!" Hammond yelled back. As much as he liked Jack, he couldn't have him yelling at everyone.
"Sorry, sir. But what I mean is, well, are you stupid, Doc? You don't know what she went through the last few months! The last thing she needs is to wake up and think she's back there, again, with lord knows what happening to her! If she thinks she's back there now, and she wakes up with restraints on, we'll lose her forever. Sir, we need to go get them off now." Jack pleaded to Hammond. With only a curt nod, a colonel, two doctors, and two aliens were running down the hallway.
"Sam, I'm so sorry we put you in these." Janet started apologizing to the silent woman as she started to unbind her.
"Please Sam, say something." Daniel sat down next to her and put his hand over hers. Her unwavering stare moved to where they touched. Her look of impudence turned to one of confusion.
"Yes Sam! I know you remember us. This is us, here, at the SGC, in the infirmary, with everyone you know and trust!" His quiet shouts only brought more looks of confusion.
"You aren't with Alumbi anymore, Sam," Jonas interjected. She jerked her head to Jonas and narrowed her eyes, remembering Alumbi. She jerked her hand away from Daniel and crossed her arms in front of her.
"Are you stupid?!" Daniel yelled at Jonas. Daniel didn't care that at the moment he was acting like Jack.
"DoctorJackson, I believe JonasQuinn was merely trying to remind MajorCarter where she is," Teal'c put in.
"I understand that Teal'c, but now any chance I had with Sam is gone! I was getting through to her, she was starting to understand us. And he brought him up! Of all of the stupid things I've had to deal with in the last eight years! And believe me there have been a lot!" Daniel was about a foot away from Jonas' face.
"Alright! Enough already! No more yelling." Jack walked out of the infirmary. "Yes, Jonas screwed up. But we can't let that rule how we're going to help Carter. I'm going to go back in there, alone for now. So everyone, go get something to eat, take a shower, sleep, whatever. Just calm down." Everyone nodded their heads and started to walk away. "Oh, and Daniel? I took that personally…" Jack retorted as he held his hand perched mockingly over his heart. Daniel looked at him for a second, unmoved. He looked down, ran his hands through his hair, and smiled at him.
"It's hard Jack. I'm worried about her. I've missed her so much." He took his glasses of to rub the bridge of his nose.
"I know Daniel. We all have. We all have." Jack patted him on the shoulder before walking away.
"So, having fun yet? Or are you still not talking…" For some reason, he felt like he was questioning a prisoner or something. That's when he got an idea.
"Remember when you had that accident with the entity? God, de je vour all over again. You sat there, looking at me so empty. And I'm not gonna lie, it scared the crap outta me. Just like you are now. Would he know about that?" She stiffened a little. "Still think I'm lying? Ask me anything. About anything. About the SGC, you, your family, anything only I would know." She started thinking.
"What was my childhood dog's name?"
"You never had one."
"What is my brother's name?"
"Mark. Come on, Carter. Gimme a hard one, like what's the square root of pie?"
"How many times have I died?"
"Too many."
"Am I dead now?"
"No." He was almost shocked at the seriousness of her questions.
"Where was our first kiss?" Jack smiled at that one. He leaned back in his chair, crossed his leg over his knee, threaded his hands together behind his head, and started to tell his tale.
"Well, you see, I was taking an honest to goodness shower in the Men's locker room when there was a nasty virus going around. I was almost done when I was jumped by a young captain." He let a smug grin cross his face. "By the way Carter, do you still have that scar?"
The scar comment broke through to her. Her eyes widened in shock. Alumbi never knew how she got that scar. She looked away, and covered her mouth with her hand.
"Oh my god..."
"It is us, Sam. We're here. And we're not going anywhere." He put a reassuring hand on her arm as she shook her head.
"I wanna go home."
"You are home."
"No, to my house. I wanna go home, to see it. I wanna go home." It all came out in one breath.
"I'll talk to the Doc and the General. I think it'd probably help." Just then, Daniel came in.
"Sam, are you doing better?" He stood beside Jack, who had just stood up.
"Yeah, Daniel, um, sorry about the whole, trying to kick you thing." She did a quick smile and a nervous laugh while she was trying not let out a sob.
"It's quite alright Sam. I'm always on my toes around you." He smiled at her and rubbed her arm. He heard the silent sob, and knew she was back.
"MajorCarter, it is uplifting to see you awake." He also was quite when he talked to her. His eyes told her how happy he was that she was back.
"Hi. Sorry about, yeah not going to say it again." Jonas came in after Teal'c. He tried to avoid eye contact with everyone, but he was too happy to see her.
"Me too, about the knocking the wind out of you." The team gathered around her, but not too closely. They knew she was going to need space, but they were going to go to her boundaries.
"You guys keep her company. I'm going to go talk to the General and Fraiser."
"It's…clean." Sam walked into her house for the first time in six months. They let her out of the infirmary, only with Jack as a guide and driver. She seemed almost in shock as she touched everything.
"You didn't think we'd let your house go to junk, did ya?" Jack replied as he walked in after her.
"Well, I don't know. I was MIA for six months, I though for sure you would have boxed everything up and sold the house." She picked up a picture of her dad.
"Has he been told? That I've been found and everything?"
"He was the one who told us where you were. He only came to deliver the message and then leave again. I'm sure he's been told. We had one more week."
"What? One more week for what?"
"To take care of your house before, everything." He said his words very quietly, and stuck his hands in his pockets. She looked away from him and put the picture back down.
"Well aren't I lucky." She sat walked over to her couch and sat down, looking around the room, taking everything in. She looked like someone who went back to their childhood house for the first time in twenty years.
"Hey, are you ok?" He sat down next to her.
"Just fine, just fine."
"You look tired. You should get some sleep."
"I'm not really tired."
"Yeah, you are. I mean, you have these huge bags under your eyes, and I heard those could turn to wrinkles, and you could use to gain a few pounds too." He stated in his special joking voice for her. She only smiled, then looked down.
"Yeah, I guess I do look like hell."
"Well, I didn't say that…"
"I, um, I don't want to. You know." She looked at her folded hands that were sitting in her lap.
"You still don't believe us. You still think you're back there, with him." She bit her lower lip, but couldn't meet his eyes.
"You don't really understand."
"I do more than you think."
"But not in the same way." She let a growl of frustration escape as she rubbed her hands on her face.
"I can't tell you how many times I've been here, how many times I let myself believe that I've been found, and I'm home, and I'm safe. I don't think I can do it again. And God! How stupid am I for saying this out loud! Just more ammo to use against me. So, I figure, if I don't go to sleep," she started
"Then you won't wake up back there," he finished for her. She slowly nodded her head. He knew that even saying that out loud meant that she had some hope in her, and that all was not lost. But it wasn't going to be a walk through a chocolate tasting factory either.
"Tell you what. Let's take a nap. I'll stay with you. And when you wake up, I'll be right here."
"But what if your not?"
"But I will be. Please Sam, trust me." She looked into his eyes and finally saw his desperation. He needed this just as badly as she did. She wondered how many nights he spent awake, needing her, and wondering if she would be needing him.
'What the hell, why not,' she thought to herself. She shook her head yes. He put his arm around her and brought her closer to him. They both put their feet on her couch. Luckily, she had a really wide one. Her head and hand were resting on his chest, and he was holding her next to him. Before drifting off, she thought that it was a little funny that she didn't feel too awkward. Maybe because she was just so tired….
"Don't worry, I'll be here," he whispered before he dozed off himself.
Oh so TBC!! Keep tooned!