15. The Drooble's Best Blowing Gum Corruption
When Harry awoke the next morning, it was well into the afternoon. With a look of content, he sat up slowly and felt extremely relaxed for a person attacked two nights ago. Harry wiped the sleep from his eyes, dressed in a grey shirt and his ragged denim jeans, and strolled into the common room. It didn't appear as cold, and empty as before. In fact, it was a lot more welcoming and the quiet bliss was almost palpable, probably because a house elf had visited in the early morning and tidied up the room. The curtains were drawn back, letting in the warm afternoon rays, and the furniture looked new. There was a fire crackling softly and an armchair had been pulled up in front of it. From behind the chair came a sound of someone humming, tone deaf, to a tuneless song. He cringed as the anonymous person hit a wrong note.
"Excuse me, but who are you?" he asked the back of the chair. The humming stopped abruptly and a person leapt into the air. It ran over and embraced Harry in a tight hug. He managed to pry the person away from him and saw that it was Luna.
"Wotcher sleepy head!" she greeted. "It's good to see you!"
"Yeah, uh, you too Luna," he replied. "Erm—not to sound rude or anything, but why are you here?" Luna cocked her head and blinked her enormous eyes.
"I told my dad as soon as I got home about the Professors being poisoned and he said that that would make a great article for the Quibbler so, via post, asked Dumbledore if he could conduct an interview," she said in on breath. "But now that you're here I have someone to hang out with!"
"Oh," Harry said feigning enthusiasm as the thought milled over in his head. "So how long have you been here?"
"We arrived two days ago! It was nice being the only one at Hogwarts besides my dad and Dumbledore. This way, my stuff won't get stolen," she laughed, but Harry's heart sunk the slightest bit.
"Do you want to come with me to see the Professors?" he asked, wanting to change the subject.
"Sure! Then we can go for a walk on the grounds! It's a really nice day outside. Too bad you slept most of it off."
"Yeah well," Harry said, starting towards the portrait hole, "I was tired." As they proceeded towards the hospital wing, Harry listened to Luna ramble on about her dad's interview. Words flew out at record breaking speeds, flying through one of his ear's and then out the other, but Harry smiled. No matter what seemed to be going on, nothing broke her spirits.
They reached the hospital wing and from behind the double doors, soft mumbles and barely audible conversations emitted. Harry pulled open one of the doors, allowed Luna to drift in first, and followed after. The sight was not much different from when he had last left Hogwarts. The only noticeable change was the professors' skin color, now looking more like flesh rather than the multiple shades of their own vomit. Madam Pomfrey was talking with Professor Sprout while Dumbledore towered over Professor Flitwick. The other professors where either sleeping or talking amongst themselves. Harry scanned the room for Hagrid and hurried over when he spotted an enormous boot hanging over the bed. It was Hagrid, but there was another wizard on his left, frowning as if scolding the giant while clasping a tattered notebook.
"Hagrid!" he said, running over towards the bed. The two of them stopped talking and turned to meet Harry. Luna came up a few seconds later and pulled the man with the notebook into a tight hug.
"That's Harry Potter," said Luna. "He's staying here as well." The man smiled and outstretched a hand.
"Who is—?"
"This is my dad Harry!"
"Oh! Sorry, nice to meet you!" he said, feeling embarrassed as he shook Mr. Lovegood's hand. Mr. Lovegood's eyes broke away from Harry's and searched along his forehead. He turned to Luna and nudged her with the side of his elbow.
"Yes Daddy?" she asked, but Mr. Lovegood only pointed at his own forehead. "Oh! Right! Why didn't you just say so?" she said. Luna and Mr. Lovegood turned to meet each other's faces. It was the first time Harry had ever seen Luna with a straight face and a stern, mean straight face at that. It didn't last long however because Mr. Lovegood smiled, patted Luna's head, and began to rock back and forth producing a series of strained grunts. Luna snorted at the state of her father's being and then erupted into a fit of raucous laughter. She began to laugh so hard, that there was no longer any sound and by this point, Mr. Lovegood was on his knees and pounding his fist on the ground. Harry shifted uncomfortably as Mr. Lovegood crawled over to him and grabbed his ankle, still slamming a hand onto the tile. Harry glanced over at Hagrid who wore the same confused expression.
"Luna? What's going on?" he asked after Luna's laughter had been replaced with desperate gasps for air. Mr. Lovegood stood up shakily and grabbed his stomach, half-grimacing, half-smiling. She wiped tears from her eyes and gave her dad another hug. Once again, he stared at Harry's forehead and then pointed to his own. Harry looked back at Hagrid who shrugged and shook his head as if saying, "I'm just as lost as you are." Luna was walking in circles in an attempt to get her breathing back to normal, and Mr. Lovegood continued to stare.
"What do you want?" he asked out of frustration. Luna's father pulled back as if scalded and pointed to his forehead repeatedly. Finally, after the trials of laughter and awkward moments of confusion, it registered to Harry what Mr. Lovegood had wanted. He pulled back his hair and revealed the famous scar. Mr. Lovegood stared for a few seconds and then smiled.
"C'mon Harry lets go," said Luna, grabbing his wrist and leading him out of the hospital. "Bye Daddy!" Mr. Lovegood waved and turned back to Hagrid who was drinking a potion Madam Pomfrey had given him. Luna led him down the hall and out through the doors. He yanked his hand out of her grasp and spaced himself a few inches from her.
"Sorry I yelled at your dad like that," Harry said once they had made their way down the steps. "But why didn't he just tell me he wanted to see my scar?"
"He couldn't have."
"Why?"
"He's a mute. He wasn't born a mute of course, but he lost his tongue."
"Lost his tongue?"
"Yep," she answered in a matter-of-fact tone. "Had it ripped right out of his head! He was doing an interview with Gilham Skewer, you know, the great dragon trainer from Peru, and Gilham's pet dragon attacked my dad!"
"You sound so excited about it," Harry said, but Luna ignored it. They walked to the edge of the lake and sat down.
"The dragon pried my dad's mouth open and ripped out his tongue. They got it back eventually, but it was too late. Couldn't be fixed. My dad kept it though. He wears it on a necklace! It's so cool! I wish I had a tongue necklace! Wouldn't that be wicked?"
"Oh yeah, sure! That is if you like having disembodied parts dangle from you," he said. Luna didn't answer; she only gazed out at the lake and drew her legs up into her chest. Harry dug his hands into his pockets and lay down on the grass. It was rather peaceful being the only two there and he wished he had more moments like this throughout the year. A warm breeze washed over his face and caused his eyelids to droop.
"You know," Luna began after the few moments of silence, "we could really use a new Minister of Magic. Our Ministry isn't legitimate anymore and Fudge is just plain weird."
"Why do you say that?" Harry asked his eyes still closed.
"Well, just the way they deny everything you have ever said about Voldemort returning. If you were posed with that threat, wouldn't you take safety precautions instead of just shrugging it off?"
"I guess."
"It's absurd, it truly is. Who knows better about Voldemort returning than the only one that survived him? You haven't given them a reason not to believe you have you?"
"No," said Harry. "At least I don't think I have." He sat up and looked over at Luna who was rummaging around in her pocket for something. He threw a rock into the water and watched happily as it skipped across the surface four times. There was a large roar, like an eruption, and a suction- cupped tentacle shot into the air, flinging the rock back at the two of them. The rock shot past him, grazing his ear, and landed with a soft thud in the grass.
"Ah ha!" Luna shouted triumphantly as she pulled out what looked like a candy wrapper. She seized Harry's wrist and thrust it in his hand. "Take a look at that!" He read the piece of paper and blinked.
"It's a Drooble's Best Blowing Gum wrapper."
Luna nodded enthusiastically.
"How does this—?"
"Relate to what we were talking about?" Luna finished for him.
"Er—yeah."
"Well, before you came to Hogwarts, I had been thinking about this whole Ministry-denying-everything situation. I thought that maybe they had been lying to protect the public, but then I saw this!"
"Luna, it's just a candy wrapper," Harry said, handing it back to her. She shook her head and pushed it towards him.
"No, really look at it!" Harry sighed and stared at the paper. There was nothing spectacular about it. The words Drooble's Best Blowing Gum covered the wrapper and there was a dancing cartoon bubble gum piece in between "Best" and "Blowing."
"What am I supposed to be looking for?"
"It's an anagram!" she said. "Drooble's Best Blowing Gum is an anagram of Gold Bribe Under St. Mungos!" Harry looked once again at the paper. Luna was right.
"This is brilliant Luna! How did you even think of this?"
"Harry," she laughed, "my father is a journalist and the media is all about exploitation, so I have learned to look at things differently!"
"But how could the manufacturers at Drooble's have known?" he said, picking up another rock.
"I don't know. They may have known about the anagram and have used it as a secret message of some sort, or they could have no clue that the name of their gum has exposed a well kept secret of the Ministry."
"What secret?" spat a cold voice. Harry and Luna both turned, startled to see Cornelius Fudge standing over them, arms crossed. Lucius Malfoy stood at his side with his fingers wrapped around his wand like a coiled snake.
"Why are you here?" Harry asked. "If you're thinking of sacking Dumbledore. . ."
"We're not. We're investigating the poisoning incident and writing our own story about this dreadful situation. This way, the wizarding world gets the real story."
"My father's already doing an article on it!" said Luna.
"Exactly the reason we're here," Lucius muttered, glaring at Luna with a strong sense of disapproval. "I'm surprised people still buy that pathetic excuse for a magazine. The man can't even talk! Nobody believes him!"
"I believe him!" she yelled.
"Exactly, a nobody! Your father and his stupid magazine should be put into an asylum. The same asylum those," he shuddered, "Longbottoms are in!"
"Shut up! Shut up! You tortured them! You and the other Death Eat—" Lucius forced his wand up against Harry's forehead and began to push it into his skin.
"Mind your words Potter," he growled. Harry pushed his hand away and grabbed his own wand. Pointing it at Lucius's throat he said, "Shouldn't you be on trial for killing Ewan Renton?"
"Already had the trial Potter," sneered Fudge. "Lucius never killed anyone."
"That's a lie! You were there! You heard what Snape said! You said you needed to get Percy Weasley back!"
"Say what you want," said Lucius. "No one believes you." Fudge nodded in agreement. He then lifted his hat, turned on his heel, and stalked up towards the castle. Lucius took this opportunity to pull Harry aside. He struggled to break free, but Lucius's grip was strong.
"There are so many things I have control over Potter so you best mind what you're saying. And don't you dare mention Percy Weasley replacing me because next time I see a scumbag Weasley, I'll kill them," he pushed Harry onto the ground and stepped on his chest. Harry pounded at Lucius's leg, but the more the fought, the harder Lucius pushed. "I'm serious."
"Getoffuhme!" Harry yelled. Lucius lifted his foot and stared down at Harry. He then turned to Luna and pointed his wand at her.
"If you tell anyone about this, the next thing you're father will lose is his life!" Harry craned his neck to look at Luna who, for the first time, looked frightened. Her eyes were round, but round with fear and her lips began to quiver. Lucius snorted and began to climb up towards the castle. His black cloak billowed as a breeze kicked up and gave him the resemblance of a dementor. Harry slowly got to his feet. The rock he had picked up now lay in the grass and he picked it up and threw it as hard as he could at the water. He sighed heavily and glanced over at Luna who was trembling the slightest bit.
"You okay?" he asked, but she only sat down and looked at the grass. "Luna? Are you alright?" She didn't answer, but instead, began to pull at the grass. The rock Harry threw shot back up into the air. The giant squid apparently did not favor rocks.
"You know," she said at last, "you can steal my stuff, make fun of me, play tricks on me, and even give me death threats, but my dad. . .my dad is the only who cares for me. He's the only one I have left and even though he can't speak, we still communicate." Harry looked down and nodded. "And I always talk to him about school and he tells me—he tells me to ignore all those people. He says, 'you affected their life, they shouldn't affect yours.' He can't die." Harry stared. There was a different Luna he was witnessing before his eyes. Happy-go-lucky Luna Lovegood had had her spirits shattered into a new Luna. This Luna was a more serious, vulnerable Luna.
"He won't kill your father, he only said that to scare you," Harry said, trying to reassure her, but it didn't help. She sniffed and turned away from him.
"My dad is the only one who accepts me for who I am—he's my only...my only friend." Her butterbeer cap necklace jingled as she drew a hand to her face and tried to wipe it discretely. Harry approached her, grabbed her hands, and helped her up to her feet. She still would not look at him.
"Luna," he said, still holding onto her hands. "I'm your friend." Harry then pulled her into a hug.
When Harry awoke the next morning, it was well into the afternoon. With a look of content, he sat up slowly and felt extremely relaxed for a person attacked two nights ago. Harry wiped the sleep from his eyes, dressed in a grey shirt and his ragged denim jeans, and strolled into the common room. It didn't appear as cold, and empty as before. In fact, it was a lot more welcoming and the quiet bliss was almost palpable, probably because a house elf had visited in the early morning and tidied up the room. The curtains were drawn back, letting in the warm afternoon rays, and the furniture looked new. There was a fire crackling softly and an armchair had been pulled up in front of it. From behind the chair came a sound of someone humming, tone deaf, to a tuneless song. He cringed as the anonymous person hit a wrong note.
"Excuse me, but who are you?" he asked the back of the chair. The humming stopped abruptly and a person leapt into the air. It ran over and embraced Harry in a tight hug. He managed to pry the person away from him and saw that it was Luna.
"Wotcher sleepy head!" she greeted. "It's good to see you!"
"Yeah, uh, you too Luna," he replied. "Erm—not to sound rude or anything, but why are you here?" Luna cocked her head and blinked her enormous eyes.
"I told my dad as soon as I got home about the Professors being poisoned and he said that that would make a great article for the Quibbler so, via post, asked Dumbledore if he could conduct an interview," she said in on breath. "But now that you're here I have someone to hang out with!"
"Oh," Harry said feigning enthusiasm as the thought milled over in his head. "So how long have you been here?"
"We arrived two days ago! It was nice being the only one at Hogwarts besides my dad and Dumbledore. This way, my stuff won't get stolen," she laughed, but Harry's heart sunk the slightest bit.
"Do you want to come with me to see the Professors?" he asked, wanting to change the subject.
"Sure! Then we can go for a walk on the grounds! It's a really nice day outside. Too bad you slept most of it off."
"Yeah well," Harry said, starting towards the portrait hole, "I was tired." As they proceeded towards the hospital wing, Harry listened to Luna ramble on about her dad's interview. Words flew out at record breaking speeds, flying through one of his ear's and then out the other, but Harry smiled. No matter what seemed to be going on, nothing broke her spirits.
They reached the hospital wing and from behind the double doors, soft mumbles and barely audible conversations emitted. Harry pulled open one of the doors, allowed Luna to drift in first, and followed after. The sight was not much different from when he had last left Hogwarts. The only noticeable change was the professors' skin color, now looking more like flesh rather than the multiple shades of their own vomit. Madam Pomfrey was talking with Professor Sprout while Dumbledore towered over Professor Flitwick. The other professors where either sleeping or talking amongst themselves. Harry scanned the room for Hagrid and hurried over when he spotted an enormous boot hanging over the bed. It was Hagrid, but there was another wizard on his left, frowning as if scolding the giant while clasping a tattered notebook.
"Hagrid!" he said, running over towards the bed. The two of them stopped talking and turned to meet Harry. Luna came up a few seconds later and pulled the man with the notebook into a tight hug.
"That's Harry Potter," said Luna. "He's staying here as well." The man smiled and outstretched a hand.
"Who is—?"
"This is my dad Harry!"
"Oh! Sorry, nice to meet you!" he said, feeling embarrassed as he shook Mr. Lovegood's hand. Mr. Lovegood's eyes broke away from Harry's and searched along his forehead. He turned to Luna and nudged her with the side of his elbow.
"Yes Daddy?" she asked, but Mr. Lovegood only pointed at his own forehead. "Oh! Right! Why didn't you just say so?" she said. Luna and Mr. Lovegood turned to meet each other's faces. It was the first time Harry had ever seen Luna with a straight face and a stern, mean straight face at that. It didn't last long however because Mr. Lovegood smiled, patted Luna's head, and began to rock back and forth producing a series of strained grunts. Luna snorted at the state of her father's being and then erupted into a fit of raucous laughter. She began to laugh so hard, that there was no longer any sound and by this point, Mr. Lovegood was on his knees and pounding his fist on the ground. Harry shifted uncomfortably as Mr. Lovegood crawled over to him and grabbed his ankle, still slamming a hand onto the tile. Harry glanced over at Hagrid who wore the same confused expression.
"Luna? What's going on?" he asked after Luna's laughter had been replaced with desperate gasps for air. Mr. Lovegood stood up shakily and grabbed his stomach, half-grimacing, half-smiling. She wiped tears from her eyes and gave her dad another hug. Once again, he stared at Harry's forehead and then pointed to his own. Harry looked back at Hagrid who shrugged and shook his head as if saying, "I'm just as lost as you are." Luna was walking in circles in an attempt to get her breathing back to normal, and Mr. Lovegood continued to stare.
"What do you want?" he asked out of frustration. Luna's father pulled back as if scalded and pointed to his forehead repeatedly. Finally, after the trials of laughter and awkward moments of confusion, it registered to Harry what Mr. Lovegood had wanted. He pulled back his hair and revealed the famous scar. Mr. Lovegood stared for a few seconds and then smiled.
"C'mon Harry lets go," said Luna, grabbing his wrist and leading him out of the hospital. "Bye Daddy!" Mr. Lovegood waved and turned back to Hagrid who was drinking a potion Madam Pomfrey had given him. Luna led him down the hall and out through the doors. He yanked his hand out of her grasp and spaced himself a few inches from her.
"Sorry I yelled at your dad like that," Harry said once they had made their way down the steps. "But why didn't he just tell me he wanted to see my scar?"
"He couldn't have."
"Why?"
"He's a mute. He wasn't born a mute of course, but he lost his tongue."
"Lost his tongue?"
"Yep," she answered in a matter-of-fact tone. "Had it ripped right out of his head! He was doing an interview with Gilham Skewer, you know, the great dragon trainer from Peru, and Gilham's pet dragon attacked my dad!"
"You sound so excited about it," Harry said, but Luna ignored it. They walked to the edge of the lake and sat down.
"The dragon pried my dad's mouth open and ripped out his tongue. They got it back eventually, but it was too late. Couldn't be fixed. My dad kept it though. He wears it on a necklace! It's so cool! I wish I had a tongue necklace! Wouldn't that be wicked?"
"Oh yeah, sure! That is if you like having disembodied parts dangle from you," he said. Luna didn't answer; she only gazed out at the lake and drew her legs up into her chest. Harry dug his hands into his pockets and lay down on the grass. It was rather peaceful being the only two there and he wished he had more moments like this throughout the year. A warm breeze washed over his face and caused his eyelids to droop.
"You know," Luna began after the few moments of silence, "we could really use a new Minister of Magic. Our Ministry isn't legitimate anymore and Fudge is just plain weird."
"Why do you say that?" Harry asked his eyes still closed.
"Well, just the way they deny everything you have ever said about Voldemort returning. If you were posed with that threat, wouldn't you take safety precautions instead of just shrugging it off?"
"I guess."
"It's absurd, it truly is. Who knows better about Voldemort returning than the only one that survived him? You haven't given them a reason not to believe you have you?"
"No," said Harry. "At least I don't think I have." He sat up and looked over at Luna who was rummaging around in her pocket for something. He threw a rock into the water and watched happily as it skipped across the surface four times. There was a large roar, like an eruption, and a suction- cupped tentacle shot into the air, flinging the rock back at the two of them. The rock shot past him, grazing his ear, and landed with a soft thud in the grass.
"Ah ha!" Luna shouted triumphantly as she pulled out what looked like a candy wrapper. She seized Harry's wrist and thrust it in his hand. "Take a look at that!" He read the piece of paper and blinked.
"It's a Drooble's Best Blowing Gum wrapper."
Luna nodded enthusiastically.
"How does this—?"
"Relate to what we were talking about?" Luna finished for him.
"Er—yeah."
"Well, before you came to Hogwarts, I had been thinking about this whole Ministry-denying-everything situation. I thought that maybe they had been lying to protect the public, but then I saw this!"
"Luna, it's just a candy wrapper," Harry said, handing it back to her. She shook her head and pushed it towards him.
"No, really look at it!" Harry sighed and stared at the paper. There was nothing spectacular about it. The words Drooble's Best Blowing Gum covered the wrapper and there was a dancing cartoon bubble gum piece in between "Best" and "Blowing."
"What am I supposed to be looking for?"
"It's an anagram!" she said. "Drooble's Best Blowing Gum is an anagram of Gold Bribe Under St. Mungos!" Harry looked once again at the paper. Luna was right.
"This is brilliant Luna! How did you even think of this?"
"Harry," she laughed, "my father is a journalist and the media is all about exploitation, so I have learned to look at things differently!"
"But how could the manufacturers at Drooble's have known?" he said, picking up another rock.
"I don't know. They may have known about the anagram and have used it as a secret message of some sort, or they could have no clue that the name of their gum has exposed a well kept secret of the Ministry."
"What secret?" spat a cold voice. Harry and Luna both turned, startled to see Cornelius Fudge standing over them, arms crossed. Lucius Malfoy stood at his side with his fingers wrapped around his wand like a coiled snake.
"Why are you here?" Harry asked. "If you're thinking of sacking Dumbledore. . ."
"We're not. We're investigating the poisoning incident and writing our own story about this dreadful situation. This way, the wizarding world gets the real story."
"My father's already doing an article on it!" said Luna.
"Exactly the reason we're here," Lucius muttered, glaring at Luna with a strong sense of disapproval. "I'm surprised people still buy that pathetic excuse for a magazine. The man can't even talk! Nobody believes him!"
"I believe him!" she yelled.
"Exactly, a nobody! Your father and his stupid magazine should be put into an asylum. The same asylum those," he shuddered, "Longbottoms are in!"
"Shut up! Shut up! You tortured them! You and the other Death Eat—" Lucius forced his wand up against Harry's forehead and began to push it into his skin.
"Mind your words Potter," he growled. Harry pushed his hand away and grabbed his own wand. Pointing it at Lucius's throat he said, "Shouldn't you be on trial for killing Ewan Renton?"
"Already had the trial Potter," sneered Fudge. "Lucius never killed anyone."
"That's a lie! You were there! You heard what Snape said! You said you needed to get Percy Weasley back!"
"Say what you want," said Lucius. "No one believes you." Fudge nodded in agreement. He then lifted his hat, turned on his heel, and stalked up towards the castle. Lucius took this opportunity to pull Harry aside. He struggled to break free, but Lucius's grip was strong.
"There are so many things I have control over Potter so you best mind what you're saying. And don't you dare mention Percy Weasley replacing me because next time I see a scumbag Weasley, I'll kill them," he pushed Harry onto the ground and stepped on his chest. Harry pounded at Lucius's leg, but the more the fought, the harder Lucius pushed. "I'm serious."
"Getoffuhme!" Harry yelled. Lucius lifted his foot and stared down at Harry. He then turned to Luna and pointed his wand at her.
"If you tell anyone about this, the next thing you're father will lose is his life!" Harry craned his neck to look at Luna who, for the first time, looked frightened. Her eyes were round, but round with fear and her lips began to quiver. Lucius snorted and began to climb up towards the castle. His black cloak billowed as a breeze kicked up and gave him the resemblance of a dementor. Harry slowly got to his feet. The rock he had picked up now lay in the grass and he picked it up and threw it as hard as he could at the water. He sighed heavily and glanced over at Luna who was trembling the slightest bit.
"You okay?" he asked, but she only sat down and looked at the grass. "Luna? Are you alright?" She didn't answer, but instead, began to pull at the grass. The rock Harry threw shot back up into the air. The giant squid apparently did not favor rocks.
"You know," she said at last, "you can steal my stuff, make fun of me, play tricks on me, and even give me death threats, but my dad. . .my dad is the only who cares for me. He's the only one I have left and even though he can't speak, we still communicate." Harry looked down and nodded. "And I always talk to him about school and he tells me—he tells me to ignore all those people. He says, 'you affected their life, they shouldn't affect yours.' He can't die." Harry stared. There was a different Luna he was witnessing before his eyes. Happy-go-lucky Luna Lovegood had had her spirits shattered into a new Luna. This Luna was a more serious, vulnerable Luna.
"He won't kill your father, he only said that to scare you," Harry said, trying to reassure her, but it didn't help. She sniffed and turned away from him.
"My dad is the only one who accepts me for who I am—he's my only...my only friend." Her butterbeer cap necklace jingled as she drew a hand to her face and tried to wipe it discretely. Harry approached her, grabbed her hands, and helped her up to her feet. She still would not look at him.
"Luna," he said, still holding onto her hands. "I'm your friend." Harry then pulled her into a hug.