Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine. See Chapter 1 for full
disclaimer. Author's Notes at the end.
Warning:
This fic is SS/HG and includes character death, descriptions of abuse, and
adult situations.
Cloak
of Courage
WendyNat
Chapter
5
~~~~~~~
Hermione stared at the closed door, rage and embarrassment battling for supremacy. Her fists clenched, and she let out an inarticulate cry of frustration. Her cheeks flamed red. Oh, my God… I can't believe he saw that…what must he think of me now…
Then, rage won out. How DARE he? No word, no warning, just grabbed her chin like a recalcitrant child and raided her mind… an invasion of the most personal… what did he think gave him the right… The BASTARD…
The bastard she would be married to in a week.
She didn't know how long she stood there, glaring at the closed door, before she began to calm down and consider the situation rationally. Her natural curiosity asserted itself, and her mind began to work on why he had done what he did. Severus Snape, Head of Slytherin House and Death Eater spy, did not do anything without a reason. So - what had led up to it? What had he been searching for?
She frowned as she thought back over the events… what had happened? He had been telling her not to leave the rooms… then she remembered looking at him as he stood in front of her, clad in his familiar high-necked, multi-buttoned coat and black robes, and she remembered how she couldn't keep her mind from thinking back to how he had looked earlier… from thinking about how she had felt, in response. And then, embarrassed at her thoughts, she had averted her eyes… Right. She had to admit, now, that that must have seemed rather suspicious to the observant man.
He must have thought I was planning something. Planning to leave, perhaps, and find Harry… or even to find Viktor?
She relaxed slightly. Well, that made sense, at least. But… couldn't he have asked her first? And when he saw… that… did he have to humiliate her afterwards? Her mouth twisted as she remembered his words after she had pushed him from her mind: Well, that should make the situation a bit… easier to bear, I believe, Miss Granger? She could feel her cheeks getting hot at the memory.
Not to mention that damned smirk… and that voice he had used…
That sexy voice he had used…
Angrily, she shook her head. At least she had been able to hide that thought from him… She sighed. It was so utterly ridiculous. Twenty-four hours ago, she had entertained no thoughts about Severus Snape as anything other than her often-irritating-but-much-respected Professor. No thoughts of him as a… as a man – and certainly no thoughts of him as an attractive man.
Well, if she were honest with herself she would have to admit that she had always appreciated his voice. But - only in the way a person would appreciate a fine musical instrument… not as something that… that… "That turns me on," she admitted to herself in a whisper. She covered her face with her hands. Gods – what was wrong with her? This was Professor Snape she was thinking about!
Your fiancé, her inner voice whispered. And you'd better get used to the idea.
Pulling her hands away from her face, she settled back down on the floor, running her fingers absently over the thick pile of the rug. Was it really such a bad thing that he knew she was… was attracted to him? It indeed would, she supposed, make things easier. But… she couldn't stop the question from forming in her mind - Was he attracted to her?
Probably not, she realized glumly, picking at a loose thread on the rug. He had given no indication that he was… but then, she really didn't know him well enough to tell. Ron and Harry, even Viktor, were so easy to read in that regard, but she didn't have much experience with any other men – friends or otherwise. Ron, in particular, had been like an open book to her… Oh, Ron…
She blinked back tears as a wave of guilt swept over her. Was she really sitting in Professor Snape's study, worried that the man may not be attracted to her? When a week ago… just a week ago… Ron had been killed. Murdered.
Because of her.
My fault.
And she was doing nothing about it, nothing…
You cannot bring back the dead.
She let the tears fall.
* * * * * *
Snape smirked to himself as he strode up the stairs from the dungeons. Very… informative, he thought. He would have to consider, later, how best to make use of this unexpected twist. Now, however, he had to concentrate on surviving tonight's meeting.
As he walked, he was pleased at the way the students parted before him, sneering as they tried to shrink from him in fear of losing House Points. He snorted to himself. House Points. As if that silly contest actually mattered, with everything else going on… although, he had to admit, it was an enjoyable distraction at times. Especially when he had been able to goad McGonagall over the six straight years of wins that Slytherin had enjoyed… before Potter and his gang had shown up. He shook his head in disgust. The Headmaster was nauseatingly partial to the boy.
Potter and his gang. He sighed inwardly as he approached the Headmaster's office. The Terrible Three, the Dream Team - as he had dubbed them during that fool Lockhart's dueling exhibition years ago - had been reduced by one… and, depending on Potter's reaction to Hermione's decision, it may be reduced to nothing.
He stated the password with a sour look on his face. "Droobles Best Blowing Gum." He was convinced the Headmaster used such ridiculous passwords simply to irritate him. As he went up the moving staircase, he shook his head in exasperation at the thought.
"Severus, come in, come in," Albus' familiar cheerful voice rang out as he waved Snape to the chair in front of his desk.
"Albus," he said by way of greeting as he took his seat.
Dumbledore sat back in his chair, his keen blue eyes fixed on the dark man in front of him. "Did Miss Granger's items get delivered?"
Snape frowned at the older wizard and adjusted his robes irritably. "You know that they did, Albus. She's currently lounging on the floor in my study, reading over texts that she's already committed to memory," he said. Or she's still standing, mouth open, staring at the door…thinking up interesting hexes to use against me when I return, he added silently.
"I see," Albus said musingly. "The proposal has been sent. Have you prepared what you will say at tonight's inevitable meeting?"
"I believe so, Headmaster," Snape said in clipped tones, running one hand through his hair. "I think the Dark Lord will be open to the idea of using her as a spy against Potter. I will be sure to emphasize the beauty of the betrayal, when Potter finds out his last remaining close friend has turned against him. It's the sort of thing a megalomaniac would find enticing. Although… there is a possible flaw in this plan of ours, Albus." Albus lifted a questioning eyebrow, and Snape let out an irritated breath. "Have you considered the fact that the boy despises me? And will likely despise Miss Granger-"
"Hermione," Albus interrupted with a twinkle in his eye.
Snape gave him a murderous glare before continuing, "Have you considered that he may turn against her when he finds out about her decision?"
"I don't believe th-"
"Damn it, Albus!" Snape snapped, getting to his feet and pacing restlessly. "You also didn't want to believe that Miss Gr- that Hermione – would stoop so low as to seek knowledge of the Dark Arts, did you?" The Headmaster remained silent. As Severus walked back and forth, he had a disturbing thought. "In fact…"
"Yes?"
"I wonder, now… if she has already tried to learn… on her own, perhaps…" Snape said, his brow furrowed. It would explain the strange… affinity… he had felt toward her the past few days. He had certainly never felt anything of the kind before, as far as Hermione was concerned. Like calls to like, he thought ruefully. It was that strange affinity which had prompted him to speak so openly to the girl the previous night… more openly, in fact, than he had spoken to anyone else in his memory… with the exception of the Headmaster.
Albus sat still, his fingers steepled under his chin, as he considered Snape's words. Finally, he let out a sigh and, looking every bit of his 150 years, said, "I don't know, Severus. I am afraid that it is entirely possible – Miss Granger has always sought knowledge, forbidden or not. I should have seen it before you brought your fears to me. Have you…" the older wizard paused, breathing in deeply before continuing, "Yesterday evening, did you get an opportunity to speak to her about the true danger of this… course of study?"
Severus shook his head. "In a general sense, only. I… skirted… the subject, Albus. It wasn't… fortunately, it wasn't necessary to tell her… of that… in order to turn her from her path. I suppose… well, if she has begun to read on the subject, she could not have gotten far. We would have noticed the signs. I can say, for a certainty, that it is not in her nature… the aftereffects would have been obvious."
Albus nodded thoughtfully. "As they were with you – what did your parents pass it off as?" Severus resumed pacing and did not answer. He heard Albus sigh before the wizard continued. "I believe you are correct… but we have to handle this carefully, Severus… you have to handle this carefully. I do not want her blindly trying to find her way in this, of all things." Snape nodded warily. "Severus – if she shows any desire to begin, or continue, an independent study… you must tell her. You must tell her about the Call of the Blood."
Snape stopped pacing, his back facing the Headmaster, as he fought for control. You must tell her about the Call of the Blood. While not strictly forbidden to speak of it, it was not… encouraged. Few wizards or witches that had not studied Dark Arts in depth were familiar with it… Albus Dumbledore was one of those few.
Severus had hoped to avoid… but he knew, with a sinking feeling, that Albus was correct. If she had already begun, if there was a chance that the Call had started to take hold already, even the tiniest bit… she would have to be guided carefully. Fortunately, it appeared he would be in an ideal position to do so – they would be spending a large amount of time together, after all. The Call of the Blood…
With a shaking hand, he pushed the lank hair away from his face and turned to face the older wizard. "Yes, Headmaster. If she shows the desire… I will do as you say."
Albus let out a relieved breath, surprising Snape. "Thank you, child. You are the only one here who can guide her in this…" Albus stopped and looked at his hands. "Have I ever told you, Severus? Have I ever told you how in awe I am, how much admiration I have, at your ability to turn your back on the Call? To resist it? It is a testament to your will, your strength… I don't believe there have been more than a three people in this century who have been able to do what you have done. And live."
Severus answered in a hollow voice, "Yes."
"Well." Albus sat back in his chair and regarded him silently. With years of practice, Severus was able to return the gaze evenly, emotionlessly. After a short time, Albus said, "I will trust your judgment as to whether or not she must be told… and, at any rate, I do believe we have some time. You may wish to wait until after the current… excitement… has died down."
Severus nodded and returned to the chair, eyeing the silver-haired wizard tiredly. "Albus – what of Potter? If he turns against her over this decision, our plan will fail before it even gets off the ground."
Albus nodded slowly. "I do see your point, Severus. I will speak with him, and explain the situation. Although, I do think you give the boy too little credit."
"And I believe you give him too much credit, Albus, but we'll see," Snape said in a flat voice.
* * * * * *
As expected, the call came just after dusk.
He was sitting in the study, marking papers at the corner desk and trying to ignore the young woman stretched out in front of the fireplace. It had been a tense afternoon. After speaking with Albus, he had attended lunch in the Great Hall – it would not do for anyone to recall that they had both been absent for meals that weekend when the proposal became public knowledge. They could afford no hints of impropriety, as Dumbledore had stated.
He had been surprised, upon entering the chambers, when she did not immediately confront him concerning the liberties he had taken earlier that morning. As tacit reward for her restraint, he had felt compelled to offer an explanation – rather short of an apology, of course – for his actions. She had simply nodded in response and stated that she had figured it out on her own. But thank you, Professor, for the explanation, she had stated with a small, tight smile. Still cool, still tense, but far better than he had expected. He made no further reference to what he had seen, and over the course of the afternoon she had thawed a bit towards him.
He was not used to sharing his personal space with anyone, so he was pleased when she did not - as he had half expected - pester him all afternoon. Instead, they had each spent the time following their own pursuits. He had added another wardrobe to the bedroom and made some other minor adjustments to his chambers to accommodate her presence before sitting down to go over the third year Potions essays. Hermione had spent almost the entire afternoon studying, aside from the time she had taken to move her things into the wardrobe and bookshelves he had provided.
And so the afternoon passed. He noticed her watching him at times but made no mention of it, though it secretly pleased him. Realizing that the acting ability of the average Gryffindor fell quite short of the mark, an honest… attachment… to him would be most beneficial to their plan. When dinnertime came, he ordered a meal from the kitchens and they consumed it as they continued working on their individual tasks.
An hour later, the Dark Mark began to burn.
Without a word, he rose from his chair and went into the bedroom, leaning his head against his wardrobe for a moment as he prepared his mind for the upcoming gathering. As he stood there, his forehead resting against the coolness of the wood, he felt a presence behind him. Without moving his head, he acknowledged her with a simple, "Miss Granger."
"Hermione," she corrected, her voice steady but low.
"So – we're back on first name terms, then?" he asked wryly, pulling his head back to look at her. "Hermione."
She stared at him silently for a moment before whispering, "You're being called, aren't you?"
"An astute observation," he said coolly, opening the wardrobe and pulling out the appropriate robes. He changed quickly, throwing off his regular black teaching robes and pulling the thicker, heavier Death Eater robes on over his coat and trousers. The mask in one of the inner pockets banged against his leg as he turned to face her.
"Will you… is it…" Hermione began before stopping and chewing on her bottom lip. He waited, staring at her intently. Her brown eyes looked troubled. "Be careful."
He nodded sharply and then, on an impulse, he tentatively put a hand to her cheek. To his surprise, she leaned into his touch and he fought the instinct to pull away. "I will," he said simply before letting his hand drop. They stood, awkwardly, staring at each other in silence until she smiled nervously.
"And don't worry, I won't… I won't leave the rooms while you're gone."
He smirked in response and nodded. Walking past her, he muttered the incantation to reveal the small hidden box sitting on the bedside table. Quickly removing the contents, he turned back to her with a serious expression. She was still standing uncertainly by the wardrobe. "Please floo the Headmaster and inform him that I was called." She nodded and opened her mouth, pausing for a moment before closing it without a sound.
She held his gaze as he whispered the incantation to activate the Portkey. He felt the familiar pulling sensation around the area of his navel, and an instant later he found himself in the Shrieking Shack. Pocketing the Portkey, he drew out the silver mask and slowly placed it on his head. Taking a deep breath and clearing his mind, he lifted the left sleeve of his robes, pushed back the coat sleeve, and touched the Dark Mark as he Apparated.
Immediately he knelt, his head bowed, waiting for permission to stand. He could hear voices, one of which was raised in anger. Lucius Malfoy. He fought back a wicked grin. The man certainly sounded irate.
The Dark Lord's hissing voice broke through Malfoy's tirade. "Severus. How good of you to join us. Stand."
Carefully flooding his mind with feelings of obedience, loyalty, and devotion, he rose slowly from the roughly sanded floor. They appeared to be in an abandoned building of some sort. "My Lord," he said in a low voice as he brought his eyes up to meet those of the Dark Lord.
"Explain, Severus." The Dark Lord's voice was cold, but thankfully neutral.
"Yes, my Lord," Snape said, and then he began his speech. As he spoke, he took note of the other Death Eaters that were present. There weren't many – it appeared only the higher ranking members of the Inner Circle had been called. Whether that was a good sign or a bad sign, he could not guess. Looking directly into the Dark Lord's eyes, he could feel his mind being examined as he spoke. With careful deliberation, he allowed certain images to spin out.
Himself, holding Hermione as she wept against his robes in his office the night before.
Hermione, in Dumbledore's office after her parents' death, when she had first received the betrothal proposal from Lucius on behalf of Draco. "No! I hate him! I'd rather die first! I'll kill myself before being married to him!"
And, again, Hermione, as she leaned into his touch… as she asked him to be careful with worry in her brown eyes.
With satisfaction, he saw the Dark Lord begin to nod as he concluded, "Rather than the crude plan that my Brother spoke of when last we met, my Lord, I feel that this situation begs for a more delicate treatment. The subtle manipulation of Harry Potter's best friend, his last loved one left alive, would benefit us far greater than another show of simple brutality. Especially since this manipulation can be performed underneath Dumbledore's very nose, with his full, unwitting consent. Think of it, my Lord - when her betrayal becomes evident, it will be a blow to them both – your two greatest enemies." He paused a moment for effect before adding, "My Lord, while it would be undeniably satisfying to see the Mudblood scream for mercy as her blood is spilt in your name, there is a better use for the girl."
The Dark Lord stared at Snape silently. He felt, once again, his mind being prodded and he dutifully brought forward more selected images.
Dumbledore, as they sat in his chambers that morning, saying, "Miss Granger… Voldemort wishes for you to marry a Death Eater. And… we just happen to have one right here."
Hermione, as she slept in his bed, his hand held against her cheek.
He waited, his mind interspersing those images with more innocuous ones of everyday life: taking points from students, bits of his childhood, teaching classes…
The Dark Lord finally favored him with a short smile, and he held back a relieved sigh. Lucius, who had been watching and listening intently, seemed to realize that the Dark Lord was in favor of Snape's plan and stepped forward. "My Lord, the plan is a good one, as we can all see," he said smoothly, casually walking around them until he stood slightly behind Snape, out of the dark-haired man's line of sight. "However, should not my own son be the one to perform this task? He is, of course, closer in age and will draw less attention-"
"The girl hates him, Brother. He lacks subtlety. And, perhaps most importantly, he is too far below her level of intellect to perform the task appropriately," Snape sneered, his hand on his wand as he blindly awaited Malfoy's response. He dared not take his eyes from the Dark Lord. Goading Malfoy was a risk, but it was a calculated risk. Anger the man, keep him off-balance, keep him from thinking of any valid flaws with the plan…
The response came quickly. He bit back a cry as the hex bit through his shoulder, cutting through skin and muscle. A slicing curse of some sort. Keeping in mind their respective positions in the Circle, he did not dare retaliate; instead, he stood confidently – after regaining his balance - and kept his eyes firmly on the Dark Lord as he ignored the sharp pain in his shoulder.
The Dark Lord's hissing voice broke the stillness. "No, Lucius. Severus is correct – the Mudblood despises your son. The girl has even pledged to take her own life should she have to marry the boy. It appears that you still have much to teach the boy of charm, Lucius." He paused, smiling coldly, while the other members of the Circle laughed. Severus and Lucius were the only two who did not respond. The Dark Lord's eyes fixed on Lucius malevolently. "I'm sure you realize that I would not want to waste a prize such as this." Snape did let out a sigh of relief at this, mentally congratulating himself for choosing the correct images.
"My Lord, surely she feels just as strongly about-"
"Lucius, you question my decision?" The Dark Lord's eyes glowed maliciously, the red slits narrowing. Snape couldn't smother an evil grin and was thankful for the concealing mask.
"No, my Lord. Of course not, my Lord. My Lord is wise, in this as in all things," Lucius said quickly, his boots scraping on the rough floorboards as he hastily knelt.
The Dark Lord walked slowly towards Lucius, staring down at his bowed form. "The chit knows you are a Death Eater, Lucius. She has known this since you bungled the mission in the Department of Mysteries. It is obvious that the Mudblood also knows where your son's loyalties lie."
"But, my Lord, she also knows Severus is-" The blond man stopped speaking suddenly when he saw the Dark Lord raise his wand. "My Lord, please, I meant no-"
"Crucio!" The Dark Lord said casually, holding the curse for a few minutes before releasing Malfoy from its grasp. The blond man gulped air and shuddered as the Dark Lord lowered his wand. He continued to speak, as if there had been no interruption. "She believes Severus to be Dumbledore's spy. The Mudblood trusts him," the Dark Lord said with a cold laugh. "Severus is a skilled manipulator – he has already begun, in fact. Haven't you, Severus?" The Dark Lord then fixed his cold gaze on Severus, who bowed.
"Yes, my Lord. My Lord is wise," Snape murmured obediently, maintaining the obeisance. He was uncomfortably aware of the blood trickling down his shoulder. For some reason, the slow trickling bothered him more than the pain from the wound itself.
"Yes, you have already begun manipulating the girl… and yet, you did so without my blessing. Without my… permission."
A cold knot formed in his stomach. He forced his voice to remain steady as he answered, "My Lord – I did not want to waste the opportunity I was granted. And, as I am not at a level in the Circle that allows me to request your presence, I was unable to consult with you before acting." He held his breath, still bent low, unable to see the Dark Lord's face. Would it work? Would he take the bait?
He could feel the weight of the Dark Lord's stare for long moments. Sweat trickled across his neck, running across his shoulder, stinging in the gash. Finally, after a long wait, the Dark Lord hissed, "Rise, Severus." He straightened tensely, steeling himself for the expected punishment. The Dark Lord reached over and grabbed his left arm, pushing the sleeves up to expose the Dark Mark. Snape's throat went dry and he flooded his mind, once again, with safe images, with feelings of loyalty, obedience… One long white finger traced the Mark on his forearm. It burned for a moment as the Dark Lord hissed an incantation under his breath.
His arm was dropped, then, and the Dark Lord whispered, "Look at me, Severus." Immediately, his gaze flew up to meet the Dark Lord's. "Severus Snape, my spy, my loyal servant… take your new place in my Inner Circle next to your Brother Rodolphus."
"Thank you my Lord," Snape said, bowing once more before moving to his new position. Rodolphus Lestrange gave him a respectful nod as he walked by and he gave an answering nod, smiling behind the mask. In relief.
It had worked. He was now part of the upper faction of the Inner Circle.
* * * * * *
Snape was dismissed soon after. He immediately Apparated to the Shrieking Shack, where he waited for a few moments to ensure he had no pursuers before activating the Portkey which would take him directly to Professor Dumbledore's office.
"Severus," Albus said, standing from his desk with unmasked relief on his face. So he wasn't quite as confident as he had seemed, Snape thought wryly. "How did the meeting go?"
He smirked. "Well, Headmaster – it obviously went quite well. Else I would be lying dead in an abandoned house somewhere."
The Headmaster's eyebrows drew together and he snapped, "Severus!" Snape just strode over and, reaching out a long arm, stole a lemon drop from the container on the man's desk. He then sat, popped the sweet into his mouth, and grinned at the silver-haired wizard. Albus looked at him for a moment before bursting out laughing. "Very well, then Severus. Well done, child. Well done. And… is it as we hoped? Did he…"
"Like the plan? Move me to the upper faction? Move Lucius down a few positions? Yes. Yes. And yes," Snape said. He was smiling again, the adrenaline and relief from the evening's events still coursing through his body, making him feel uncharacteristically giddy. He sat up in the chair and winced as something else from the evening's events made itself known. Damned Lucius.
Albus' eyes watched him keenly, not missing his grimace when he moved his shoulder without thinking. "I suppose Lucius did not take the news well?"
Snape laughed hollowly. "You could say that, Albus. He attempted to… convince the Dark Lord that Draco could play the role, could be the manipulator. I needed him off-balance, and so I made an observation that he did not appreciate. Lucius reacted much as I expected."
"Do you need to see Poppy?" Albus said, concern etched on his features.
"It was just a simple slicing hex, Albus," Snape said, shaking his head. "Not very deep. I can take care of it in my chambers – there's no need to disturb Poppy." There's no need to allow that insufferable woman to perform her mother-hen impression, Snape thought with a small sneer.
Albus smiled knowingly. "Very well, then, Severus. I'm sure you know best." Snape nodded curtly and rose to his feet. Before he reached the door, Albus' voice sounded behind him. "Oh, and Severus? I believe Miss Granger has studied some healing charms. Perhaps she would accommodate you, if you asked her pleasantly."
He turned to face the older wizard with a glare, then whirled back around without a word and swept from the office, Albus' chuckles following him.
____________________________________________________________________
A/N: Hope you enjoyed the chapter! Again, I'm hoping that the characters are still as "in character" as possible. Let me know, either way. Please review!!! I even updated early! Chapter 6 is already part of the way completed (as is Chapter 20 of Some Scars Never Fade) – so with enough prompting… I may finish it faster than a week…. :)
DagginLady – Thanks! I'm glad you like my approach to the Challenge.
Jen (HunnySnowBunny) – Love your penname, by the way! I'm glad you like that he knows of her attraction – I want this Severus confident, dark, and a little mean… as close to canon as I can ;). So, no room for insecurity (yet). Sorry – didn't do the entire speech but I hope you were happy with the concluding paragraph of the speech to Voldemort…
Lizzie – Get in line! :)
Louise – Hi! This Snape is different from my Snape in the other fics, in a lot of ways – I hope you still like him in this "guise".
Serpens Potio – I love using the minor characters in my fanfics… not a big fan of original characters, so I pluck a little minor character from the books and give 'em some screen time. Thanks! I hope you still think Sev is in character… and Hermione, too, of course ;)
Fleria – We'll see… he's still Slytherin to the core, of course…
Katie – Glad you liked the Legilimency trick he used at the end of Ch4
Subtilior – Thanks – and no, not too picky at ALL, please continue! Any and all comments are appreciated, especially ones that make me think over my words. I hope you thought Hermione's response was realistic here. I promise more shots of leanmuscular!Snape in the next chapter ;).
McWitch, babygidgurl, Anarane Anwamane, – Thanks so much for the reviews!!