Seto:You have such a stupid moniter. You know that?!
D T-2: Don't get mad at it! Moniter can't help it if Moniter dies!
Seto: My computer's better.
D T-2: Then get me a new one! Mine's 5 friggin' years old!
Seto: No.
D T-2: gggggrrrrrrrrrr...
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Lesson 8: Getting Your Message Across
So you're talking to someone, and that someone just doesn't seem to get it. Now we've all been there; that stock broker, that stupid kid at school, that dumb parent of yours, the bus driver, the list goes on AND ON.
So what do you do? Easy... Whatever you have to!! Most of the time that would be insult them. But of course you need to use big long words that will confuse them. One of my favorite words to use is "bletherospasm" because it's really interesting and Joey has no clue what it means. What is a bletherospasm, you may ask? I'll give you a clue: Yami Yugi has bletherospams were most people don't have muscles. That's right, a bletherospasm is an eye twitch. Gotta love those medical dictionaries!
Back to the subject. To that ignorant mass that you're trying to explain something to, you need to say something like, "People like you are the reason bletherospasm support groups were created." and be sure to shake your head in dissappointment to add emphasis. If the person is really starting to annoy you hold your head like you have a bad headache and say, "You're starting to give me bletherospasms!" and say it as if you're wincing from pain, or say it angerally.
Another good word is "tragum", also from the medical dictionary. The tragum is that front thing at the opening of the ear. So if you get tired of listening to pointless babble, such as in a business meeting, just hold you tragums shut.
But, say for instance, the person you're communicating with needs injury to insult; then what do you do? Since I don't want to seem sexist I'm letting Death T-2 tell you for all you woman dissers out there.
~*~
OK! First situation is where a girl is sitting somewhere with her boyfriend and he's doing something she rather not him be doing. What you need to do to grab his attention is to pinch his inside thigh. He'll probably bite his lip and do a little "squeak" thing. HAH! Just remember, he was probably embarassing you so he deserved it. And it's only usefull when you're sitting together.
Now lessay you're getting slightly annoyed at him for some reason or another. Just do the classic thing-- swat him! But be sure the swat isn't a slap; those are two very different messages! Use the slap when he's acting like a total pervert, and then be sure to make it serious; your dignity is at stake!
But what about when you're not close to him to swat or pinch? This is the part where men are most confused. You need to act as though you've been emotionally hurt, so run away crying or something. In short, you send him on a guilt trip! He'll be confused and sorry and should get you a gift. If not, he's either an insensitive jerk that doesn't deserve your company OR a smart hunk that sees right through your act and is therefor perfect for you.
And when you're with your shopping friends pretty much the only option is a pillow fight or whatever soft thing is nearest.
NOTE: Seto was uninvovled with these expiraments. Pointless characters were, however...
~*~
Now I [Seto] Shall tell you men dissers what to do, only I'm not saying anything about girlfriends because I won't tell you MY style; and most certainly NOTHING about boyfriends... X-P sick...
Alright, you've just beaten this guy at the same game for the hundredth time and he still thinks you've cheated or that you're a spoiled rich kid or whatever, and he's grabbed your shirtcollar with one fist (to make himself appaer macho) and is telling you so. What you do is say, "Nice grip. Let me show you mine." then grab his wrist and throw him to the side. You remember that from Duelist Kingdom, don't you?
Now the situation is where you are mentally, or actually are, laughing at a student or group of students because their Ennglish mistakes are so horrible. For instance; they try to translate/interperet the word "fantasy" [kuusoo] and it becomes "shit" [kuso]. You are not obligated in any way to help them, but you can laugh at them as much as you want unless you are in a library. And be sure to make fun of them out loud. I know that there is no physical involvment, I just wanted to share that with you.
Exercise: Read stories and/or guides from other stuck-up characters, such as Barkura's Book of Threats and More; How to be Malik; Yami: Owner's Guide and Mantenance Manual; and pretty much anything about Ren Tao from Shaman king, but a really good story is Shaman Holidays.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
D T-2: I'm wondering if I should do a one-shot guide. Particularly "Tristan's Guide to Being a Mechanical Monkey" so give me a vote, wouldya?
D T-2: Don't get mad at it! Moniter can't help it if Moniter dies!
Seto: My computer's better.
D T-2: Then get me a new one! Mine's 5 friggin' years old!
Seto: No.
D T-2: gggggrrrrrrrrrr...
__________________________________________________________________________________
Lesson 8: Getting Your Message Across
So you're talking to someone, and that someone just doesn't seem to get it. Now we've all been there; that stock broker, that stupid kid at school, that dumb parent of yours, the bus driver, the list goes on AND ON.
So what do you do? Easy... Whatever you have to!! Most of the time that would be insult them. But of course you need to use big long words that will confuse them. One of my favorite words to use is "bletherospasm" because it's really interesting and Joey has no clue what it means. What is a bletherospasm, you may ask? I'll give you a clue: Yami Yugi has bletherospams were most people don't have muscles. That's right, a bletherospasm is an eye twitch. Gotta love those medical dictionaries!
Back to the subject. To that ignorant mass that you're trying to explain something to, you need to say something like, "People like you are the reason bletherospasm support groups were created." and be sure to shake your head in dissappointment to add emphasis. If the person is really starting to annoy you hold your head like you have a bad headache and say, "You're starting to give me bletherospasms!" and say it as if you're wincing from pain, or say it angerally.
Another good word is "tragum", also from the medical dictionary. The tragum is that front thing at the opening of the ear. So if you get tired of listening to pointless babble, such as in a business meeting, just hold you tragums shut.
But, say for instance, the person you're communicating with needs injury to insult; then what do you do? Since I don't want to seem sexist I'm letting Death T-2 tell you for all you woman dissers out there.
~*~
OK! First situation is where a girl is sitting somewhere with her boyfriend and he's doing something she rather not him be doing. What you need to do to grab his attention is to pinch his inside thigh. He'll probably bite his lip and do a little "squeak" thing. HAH! Just remember, he was probably embarassing you so he deserved it. And it's only usefull when you're sitting together.
Now lessay you're getting slightly annoyed at him for some reason or another. Just do the classic thing-- swat him! But be sure the swat isn't a slap; those are two very different messages! Use the slap when he's acting like a total pervert, and then be sure to make it serious; your dignity is at stake!
But what about when you're not close to him to swat or pinch? This is the part where men are most confused. You need to act as though you've been emotionally hurt, so run away crying or something. In short, you send him on a guilt trip! He'll be confused and sorry and should get you a gift. If not, he's either an insensitive jerk that doesn't deserve your company OR a smart hunk that sees right through your act and is therefor perfect for you.
And when you're with your shopping friends pretty much the only option is a pillow fight or whatever soft thing is nearest.
NOTE: Seto was uninvovled with these expiraments. Pointless characters were, however...
~*~
Now I [Seto] Shall tell you men dissers what to do, only I'm not saying anything about girlfriends because I won't tell you MY style; and most certainly NOTHING about boyfriends... X-P sick...
Alright, you've just beaten this guy at the same game for the hundredth time and he still thinks you've cheated or that you're a spoiled rich kid or whatever, and he's grabbed your shirtcollar with one fist (to make himself appaer macho) and is telling you so. What you do is say, "Nice grip. Let me show you mine." then grab his wrist and throw him to the side. You remember that from Duelist Kingdom, don't you?
Now the situation is where you are mentally, or actually are, laughing at a student or group of students because their Ennglish mistakes are so horrible. For instance; they try to translate/interperet the word "fantasy" [kuusoo] and it becomes "shit" [kuso]. You are not obligated in any way to help them, but you can laugh at them as much as you want unless you are in a library. And be sure to make fun of them out loud. I know that there is no physical involvment, I just wanted to share that with you.
Exercise: Read stories and/or guides from other stuck-up characters, such as Barkura's Book of Threats and More; How to be Malik; Yami: Owner's Guide and Mantenance Manual; and pretty much anything about Ren Tao from Shaman king, but a really good story is Shaman Holidays.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
D T-2: I'm wondering if I should do a one-shot guide. Particularly "Tristan's Guide to Being a Mechanical Monkey" so give me a vote, wouldya?