Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine. Anything you recognize
from JK Rowling's books is not mine. Anything you don't recognize (i.e. the
Call of the Blood) is either mine or a typical fanfiction plot device. Partly
inspired by the Marriage Law Challenge on WIKTT. See Chapter 1 for full
disclaimer. Author's Notes at the end.
Warning:
This fic is SS/HG and includes character death, descriptions of abuse, and
adult situations.
Cloak of Courage
WendyNat
Chapter 15
~~~~~~~
Hermione raced up the steps to the Entrance Hall. She was already late to meet Ginny… the redhead wanted to get back in plenty of time for the afternoon match against Slytherin, and so they planned to meet immediately after breakfast. Most of the older students wouldn't leave until later.
"There you are! I was beginning to wonder if you'd forgotten."
Hermione shook her head, conjuring a smile as she tried to slow her breathing. Really need to start exercising…. "Of course not, Ginny. I was just running a little behind this morning." Ginny shot her an amused look, which Hermione ignored, and they made their way out of the castle and down the path to Hogsmeade.
A pack of exuberant third years barreled past them, and Hermione shook her head in amusement. She could remember how excited she had been to be allowed off of Hogwarts property in her own third year…
Ginny shot her a sly look and said, in a deceptively casual tone, "So, I noticed you weren't at breakfast. Neither was Professor Snape."
"We ate in the room."
"I bet you did," Ginny said, smirking. Hermione just rolled her eyes.
"Do you know you sound exactly like Lavender and Parvati right now?" Hermione's chuckle turned into a full-blown laugh when she turned to see the expression on Ginny's face. "All right, then, maybe not that bad… relax." Ginny shook her head and they continued along the path to Hogsmeade.
After a quick stop in Honeydukes, the two young women spent most of their time browsing in Gladrags Wizardwear, choosing a number of robes and clothes appropriate for Hermione's new position. Ginny gave cutting commentary on a number of Hermione's choices.
"No, that one will make you look like a grandmother, Hermione. Put it back," Ginny ordered, going through another rack quickly. Hermione shook her head with a small grin. It was really a shame the Weasleys weren't more affluent; Ginny was a born shopper. She wiped the grin from her face when Ginny turned to her with a number of robes draped over her arm. "Here, try these."
"Yes, ma'am," Hermione said sarcastically. Ginny just laughed and pushed her towards the dressing room.
Hermione ended up purchasing the robes Ginny had picked out, smiling a little at the smug expression on the redhead's face. She also chose a number of pajama sets and nightgowns, ignoring the raised eyebrow from her companion. As she stood at the counter, Ginny disappeared from her side, only to reappear a moment later with three silky lengths in her hands. "Get these, too, Hermione."
Hermione looked at the gowns Ginny had placed on the counter and flushed a bit. "Ginny, those are-"
"Get them, Hermione. You're a newlywed, and weren't you just saying…" Ginny trailed off when she saw the proprietor watching them with unconcealed interest. Giving the man a dirty look, she said, "Remember the conversation with Lavender and Parvati the other night? Well… just get them. They may come in useful."
The proprietor raised a questioning eyebrow at Hermione and with a sigh she nodded for him to include the gowns with her purchases. Gods, could it be any more revealing? she thought, eyeing one particular gown as the shopkeeper packed it away with her other items. At least the fabric – what little of it there was – was an attractive color.
As they walked out of the shop, Hermione was shocked to see how much time had passed. They did a quick stop in Zonko's to say hello to Fred and George before heading to the Three Broomsticks to have some butterbeers and talk.
"So… did you have your angry sex yet?" Ginny asked in a low voice, her eyes twinkling in amusement. Hermione scowled at her theatrically.
"No. It's… it's not that I want that, exactly. It just seems like it's more for me than for him, do you know what I mean?"
"Hermione, all of my boyfriends have been teenagers. So no, I have no idea what you mean."
"Oh."
Ginny started laughing. "I'm kidding – seriously, Dean is like that. Was like that. He's better now – he was so worried all the time if I was enjoying myself that he wasn't relaxed. It's worked out now. He's really the only one I've slept with, anyway."
Hermione shook her head slightly. "That's not quite what I mean… Severus seems relaxed, it's not that… it's more like… I don't know, like he's holding back. I just want to see him lose control, you know? To know I did that to him."
Ginny looked at her seriously and put her butterbeer down. "I don't know, Hermione. Do you really want him to... not hold back? I mean… well, he was a Death Eater, and still acts as one."
"Those rumors are kind of exaggerated, Ginny."
Ginny gave her a skeptical look before saying, "Well, even if they are, I can't imagine that crowd is very… prudish, you know? I bet they're into a lot of strange stuff. Just… maybe it's for the best that he's holding back, Hermione."
"Maybe," Hermione said. "But… I guess I'd just like to find out. I mean, it's so good like this, I just wonder…" She chuckled when she saw Ginny's expression. "I know you don't believe it, but he's really not as bad as people think. And I… well, I think he's pretty sexy."
"I'm glad you're happy with him, don't get me wrong… but I just don't see it. I mean, he's not very good-looking."
"Good looking?" Hermione said derisively. "Malfoy is good looking. I'm not interested in good looking." The younger witch shifted uncomfortably in her chair, and Hermione's voice softened. "It's all right, Ginny – I know he's not the pretty type. But that's not what I'm into, anyway… not now. When I was twelve, maybe… Severus is… different. Intriguing."
"Well, you kind of have a history with dark, brooding, big-nosed men, don't you?"
Hermione shrugged uneasily. "I suppose… well, Viktor and I are just friends-"
"Now," Ginny interjected.
"Right. It was never any big romance, really, Ginny," Hermione said, taking a sip of her butterbeer.
"But you were attracted to him."
"Not at first. Not until after I got to know him a little better," Hermione said slowly. "But Severus… it's different. Kind of. I already knew him… well, at least one part of him, before I-"
"Before you became attracted to him."
"Yeah."
The sounds of the bar rose and fell as they sat in silence, both lost in their thoughts. Finally, Ginny looked directly at Hermione and said, "You're falling for him, aren't you?"
"What?"
"You are. You're falling for him."
"Well, what if I am? He's my husband, after all," Hermione said defensively.
"It's…" Ginny stopped, looking uncertain until Hermione gestured for her to continue. "Is it… I mean, is it just physical?"
Hermione burst out laughing. "Ginny, you were just telling me how unattractive he is, and now you think I'm… getting some feelings for him because it's physical?"
"He's not unattractive to you, though, Hermione."
At Ginny's serious tone, Hermione's laughter subsided. Looking down at the table, she shook her head. "No. No, it's not just physical. It's… he's brilliant, and really quite funny when you get used to his humor… he can be very charming, Ginny. He's fascinating… and he doesn't-" Hermione paused a moment before continuing, "Well, he doesn't expect me to be something other than what I am. And I like that. It's… he's… I just like him."
"All right." Ginny took a sip of butterbeer. "I'm… I'm glad. I'm glad you like him." The redhead's eyes were shadowed and Hermione swallowed hard.
"Thanks… I… you know I would have been happy with Ron, Ginny. It's not-"
"I know. Don't worry about it." Ginny took a deep breath and sat back, staring down at her hands. "I miss him. A lot."
"So do I," Hermione whispered. "Sometimes I'll see something funny and think that I've got to tell Ron about it, or mention it in my next owl to my parents… it's strange. I don't know."
Ginny nodded. "I know." Giving Hermione a hard stare, she said, "You have to stay safe, Hermione."
Hermione rolled her eyes. "It's getting a little old, Ginny… I'm not some damsel in distress, you know. I can take care of myself."
Ginny pursed her lips. "Right. No one can take care of themselves against a group of armed Death Eaters, Hermione. Just… it's what Ron was trying to do, it's what he died trying to do. Don't make his death mean nothing."
A wave of guilt washed over Hermione and tears pricked her eyes. Taking a few deep breaths, she concentrated on regaining control. After a moment, she said in a low voice, "I will be careful, Ginny. But I also won't stop living."
"No one's asking you to, Hermione."
"You're not, maybe. But Harry didn't even want me to come here with you… if there hadn't been a Quidditch match this afternoon I'm sure he'd have insisted on following us." And if I hadn't snapped his head off when he suggested it… she thought.
Ginny made a face. "He's been overprotective of me, too, Hermione. I think it's just a reaction…"
"It's understandable, but it's still irritating."
"Yeah. I guess I'm just used to it. With as many… as many older brothers as I have… it's been the story of my life," Ginny said with a small smile.
Hermione returned the smile. "That's true."
Silence fell between the two as they both lost themselves in thought. Hermione found the rise and fall of conversations around them to be rather soothing, and she felt herself relaxing. And then…
"How bad was it, Hermione? No one will tell me… was it quick?"
Hermione froze, her momentary relaxation forgotten.
Oh my God… Hermione, don't look! No, don't look!
Realizing she had been silent too long, Hermione cleared her throat. "It was… it was…" Hermione's voice failed her and Ginny looked down at the table, stricken.
"So it wasn't, then." Spoken in a mere whisper.
"I… I don't know, really Ginny. It was… it could have been quick…" Hermione faltered as she recalled her question to Severus the other morning. The Blood Rites were performed on Ron, weren't they? And his grave answering nod.
"Tell me, Hermione." Ginny raised her head. "I know people are just trying to protect me, especially Harry, but you were there, too. I deserve to know. He was my brother."
As Hermione met the redhead's gaze… the gaze of her friend, the gaze of Ron's sister… she couldn't find it in herself to lie. Not even to spare Ginny the pain… Hermione knew, all too well, that hearing the truth was far better than not knowing… better than allowing your imagination to come up with new and more terrible things every time you permitted yourself to think of it…
And so, in halting words, Hermione told her. Not everything – she didn't mention the bluish tinge of his skin, nor the extent of his injuries… she mentioned the blood, but not the sheer volume. And she told the redhead that a blade had been used. Ginny immediately picked up on that.
"A Dark ritual?"
Hermione swallowed. "Severus seems to think so." Ginny just nodded.
"Blood magic. It was one of Tom's favorite things…" Ginny's voice trailed off and Hermione looked at her with concern. The redhead rarely mentioned the things she had learned from Tom Riddle, the things she had experienced, during the incident with the diary in her first year. "Thanks for telling me, Hermione."
Suddenly, Hermione's attention was caught by the reflection of a familiar white-blond head in the mirror over the bar. Malfoy. Catching Ginny's eye, she nodded imperceptibly to the door where Draco and his two shadows had just entered. In tacit agreement, the two girls gathered their belongings and threw some coins on the table.
Not quick enough, Hermione thought with annoyance when Draco strolled up to the table just as they stood.
"Leaving so soon, Granger?" he said with another poor attempt at a supercilious sneer. Hermione's eyes narrowed.
"Hermione, let's just go," Ginny whispered, pulling on her sleeve. But Hermione wasn't going to back down in front of Malfoy. It was a public place, with plenty of witnesses… it wasn't like he could do anything, even with his two cronies behind him.
Not to mention, he had a Quidditch match that afternoon, which would certainly cut into his kidnapping-and-torture time.
"Don't you have a Quidditch match to prepare for? And it's not Granger anymore, Draco. Remember?" Hermione said coldly. She was startled by the malevolent glint in the silver-gray eyes and had to stop herself from taking a step back.
"Right. See you back at Hogwarts." Another angry flash. "Mrs. Snape."
Ginny took her arm and urged her from the building. She followed without resistance, turning her head only once to see Draco staring after them, a strangely frustrated expression on his face.
* * * * * *
Severus was quite pleased with the array of robes the Weasley girl had talked Hermione into purchasing, particularly as it meant he no longer had to accompany her clothes shopping. There were very few tortures that even the Dark Lord could devise that would be worse than that, in his opinion. He did raise an eyebrow when she stashed a few small pieces of silk in the wardrobe without letting him see them. It appeared that the Weasley chit had talked her into a bit more than casual nightwear… but the flush on his wife's face told him that he would have some time before he would profit from the Weasley girl's influence.
Several days passed uneventfully, aside from Severus gaining an even greater appreciation for the… side benefits… of this plan that Dumbledore had concocted. His young wife was not only responsive but also open to suggestion, and his morning showers had thankfully taken on an entirely new dimension. He still forced himself to hold back, not willing to tempt the Call any farther than necessary. As open to suggestion as she had proven to be, he suspected that what the Call demanded would be too far from her idea of making love.
With these thoughts in mind, he sat back in his desk chair and stared at her as she marked second year Transfiguration papers. He had acquired another desk for her use, but she still preferred to sprawl on the rug in front of the fireplace. He smiled slightly as she shook her head, the hair she had piled on her head perilously close to escaping its confines. He marveled at the sheer height of it. "Are they complete idiots? Or did they not even bother to open the book at all?" she snapped.
"I ask myself that question daily."
Her head shot up and her face flushed. "I'm sorry – I didn't know that was out loud."
"Think nothing of it. I understand completely." Suddenly, a burning pain in his left arm appeared and he stood. "I'm being Summoned."
"You're… oh. You did say you thought it would be soon," she said, scrambling up from the floor and following him into the bedroom.
"Yes. Floo the Headmaster – I dare not be late to this meeting."
She nodded as he pulled his Death Eater garb from the wardrobe. "Be… be careful."
Reaching out, he touched her cheek and then lowered his head to brush his lips against hers. As he pulled back, she wrapped her arms around him in a fierce hug, the hard edges of the mask in its hidden pocket digging into his thigh as she pressed against him. He blinked in surprise before bringing his own arms around her. She was shaking. "Hermione…"
She pulled back then. "I'll… I'll wait up for you. Be careful."
"I will," he said, looking at her with curiosity. "Hermione, what-"
"I wish I could do something… something to help…"
"You can. Floo Albus."
"No, I mean something to help you with this," she said, indicating his Death Eater garb. She shook her head with a small smile. "I guess I'm just not very good at the whole sit-at-home-while-the-men-go-off-to-war thing."
Severus shook his head, striding to the hidden box on the bedside table and pulling out the Portkeys. "I hope you are able to continue to play that part for as long as possible, Hermione. Soon enough he will request your presence, also."
"That'll be easier, I think."
"For you, perhaps," Severus said dryly, fingering the Portkey that would take him to the Shrieking Shack. "I will return."
Hermione nodded and walked up to him, kissing him swiftly. "Go."
A short time later, he appeared with a pop in a large field. There were no visible structures, and the stars were bright in the sky – suggesting that they were far from any Muggle cities. Only a few of the Inner Circle were present and he was relieved that he would be able to give his report in relative privacy. The fewer ears listening, the better.
As soon as he appeared, the Dark Lord gestured him over. Immediately Severus walked in front of the powerful wizard and dropped to his knees. The ground was still damp from the day's rain and the knees of his trousers were quickly soaked through.
"My Lord."
"Rise, Severus. I understand things are going well with our little... project."
"Yes, my Lord. It does appear so."
Red slitted eyes met his, and he carefully spun out selected images. Teaching class… Hermione beneath him, begging him, her neck arching as she cried out… himself, holding her in the Head Girl's rooms… Hermione cleaning his shoulder after the last meeting… lunch with Minerva, watching an owl come towards him… disciplining two Slytherin second years in the common room… Hermione, asking him if they had to wait until Saturday…
"Very good, Severus. It appears you have the chit well under way to coming under your thumb. Under your influence. And once she is firmly under your influence… it will be an interesting day when Potter realizes where her loyalties lie."
"Yes, my Lord." Severus bowed his head. "And even before then, she will be a good source of information. She has mentioned small things already in my presence, things she thought to be insignificant. Potter is increasingly fearful, my Lord… he is concerned that in this, his Seventh Year, you will rise in power strongly and force him to face you. His fear eats at him, making him weak."
The Dark Lord smiled approvingly. "Very good, Severus. Your plan, and its success, will speak loudly towards your loyalty."
"Thank you, my Lord."
"She must be brought before me. I will see the truth behind her eyes."
"It is early, yet, my Lord." He met the Dark Lord's eyes again, carefully spinning out more images. Hermione, weeping over her mother's ring... Hermione's voice shaking as she stood before him, saying, 'He was there… when Ron was killed'… Potter, pushing Draco away as he leaned over to whisper in Hermione's ear…
"There have been a few… minor setbacks. I would not wish for her trust in me to be shaken so early, by bringing her in front of her enemies."
"So she now knows the identities of her parents' killers. And of her boyfriend's killers."
"Yes, my Lord. One of them, at the very least." Severus bowed his head to hide the exultation in his eyes. If the Dark Lord should take Lucius' attempts at meddling with the plan the way Severus hoped… but it was not to be so.
"And you have been able to take advantage of her… instability… as a result?"
"Of course, my Lord," Severus said, seething inwardly. Damn Lucius! He must have spoken to the Dark Lord prior to the meeting, or at least prior to Severus' arrival. Well, there was nothing for it now but to play along with the game Malfoy had set.
"Well done, Severus. And Lucius." The Dark Lord paused and gestured to Pettigrew. As the former Gryffindor stepped forward, the Dark Lord touched his finger to the Dark Mark on Pettigrew's arm and called the lesser Death Eaters to him.
Severus settled in for a long wait, and noticed Rodolphus doing the same next to him. It was a weeknight and many would have to make excuses to extricate themselves from whatever task they were involved in. However, he knew of three members who should appear immediately.
And they did. With a pop, Draco and his two sidekicks appeared. Even with the concealing garb, it was simple to pick out the slighter frame of the Malfoy heir. Pulling the chain of the Time-Turner from the other two boys' necks, Draco settled it around his own and strolled to his place outside the main circle.
Lucius had acquired a Time-Turner to allow the three boys to attend meetings without raising the suspicions of Dumbledore. After the meeting, the three boys would use the Time-Turner to go back to the time that they left, leaving none of the professors the wiser.
The meeting dragged on interminably. Only strict discipline kept Severus upright and at attention. From the corner of his eye, he saw the younger Malfoy shifting from foot to foot impatiently. He sneered behind his mask; doubtless the fool boy had thought those ridiculous rumors about Dark Revels were true, despite what his father had told him. The Dark Lord was repeating the typical rhetoric to his loyal followers, and it appeared that a group of new recruits would be attending the next few meetings to be initiated properly. Severus winced inwardly – those meetings were generally distasteful. Without fail at least one of the new recruits would foolishly speak up at the wrong time, or say the wrong thing, and meet a quick end. The Dark Lord did not suffer fools gladly. His eyes cut to the younger Malfoy and he sneered. Unless their fathers are rich and have a great deal of influence, he amended.
Finally, the meeting drew to a close and the Dark Lord left the Death Eaters to socialize as they saw fit. Of course, Pettigrew – the Dark Lord's eyes and ears - was still in attendance, as usual. Severus wondered, not for the first time, about Pettigrew's purpose in joining with the Dark Lord… the man received little in return for his loyalty, other than his life. And, from what Severus could see, it wasn't much of one. Standing on the fringe, watching the other Death Eaters mingle… even his own mentor, assigned to him when he first joined the Death Eaters, ignored him.
Severus shook his head and moved through the gathering, speaking casually with a number of the lesser Death Eaters before making his way to where the Inner Circle stood. He normally left soon after the Dark Lord, but with his new position in the hierarchy came certain expectations. And it could only benefit him to keep up with the casual rumors and social structure of the group.
As he approached the Inner Circle group, Severus noted Viktor Krum standing to the side, deep in conversation with Draco Malfoy. Draco was frowning as he spoke, and Viktor looked over at Severus with a dangerous look in his eyes. Their eyes met for a split second before Viktor turned away – not enough time for Severus to read anything from his mind. As he watched the Bulgarian's tense stance, a suspicion took root in his mind. He was so lost in thought that he didn't hear Lucius approach.
"So, Severus – how are things with your Mudblood bride?"
"Acceptable, Lucius." Severus' voice was cool and clipped. "It would be a bit easier if your son stopped giving her little tokens of his affection, shall we say?"
Lucius laughed. "Oh, no need to thank me, Severus. It did work to drive her into your arms further, did it not?"
"Perhaps."
Lucius' eyes glittered strangely. "Not perhaps, my friend. You forget that I am on the Marriage Council – I am aware that you have more than fulfilled the copulation charm's requirements." Lucius gave a short laugh. "It appears your stamina has not suffered in the least over the years."
Snape's lip curled beneath his mask, but he kept his voice level as he said, "The girl is an… acceptable distraction. I must admit I am rather enjoying the side benefits."
"As is she, I'm sure," Lucius commented mildly.
"As she must, Lucius. I am trying to manipulate her – young people are easily fooled into thinking physical attraction equals emotional attraction. I need her trust, not her fear. It's quite simple, really – but if you need me to explain further I'm willing to assist you in understanding." Severus smirked, though he knew Lucius couldn't see it. "I promise to speak slowly."
Lucius paused a moment, his eyes narrowed, and then he began to laugh. "Ah, Severus – I have always enjoyed your dry humor. Now," the blond man said, his voice changing to a more conciliatory tone. "Enough about the Mudblood. You seem to have things well in hand, though I may assist you again. No, no – don't thank me, friend. I insist." Lucius' eyes turned cold once more and Severus bit back a protest. There was no purpose in goading the man – he would just have to warn Hermione that more little "gifts" might be appearing. "On a more pleasant subject, I haven't had a chance to congratulate you on the fabulous match your House played this past weekend. It's good to see Slytherin rising once more."
Severus smiled behind the mask, allowing it to reach his eyes. "Yes, it is – and I must say your son performed admirably. Your support of the team, of course, assisted with our victory." Politics, he thought, sighing inwardly. Still, coddling Lucius had its advantages – the more at ease the man was, the more he may let slip. And the less suspicious he would be of Severus' loyalties.
"Ah, yes, the new broomsticks. Think nothing of it, friend. If there is anything else I can do to assist, you will inform me at once." An order, not a request. Severus nodded genially.
"As… pleasant… as this conversation has been, Lucius, I must return and make my report to Dumbledore," he said, allowing a note of amusement to enter his voice. Lucius laughed appreciatively.
"Yes, of course, make your report and get back to your little plaything. Enjoy yourself. Until next time, Severus."
Enjoy myself… yes, Lucius, I certainly will.
* * * * * *
I really must remember to thank Viktor again for this journal. It's the most thoughtful gift anyone's given me – amazing how he knew just what I would need with everything that was going on. He's a true friend.
The week has gone by quickly – the second week of my marriage. Today is our two-week anniversary… strange to think of it that way. Things are going rather well with Severus – surprisingly well, really. Draco, on the other hand, is just as much of a pain as always. Seeing his face around Hogwarts when I know he had something to do with Ron's death… it's just almost too much sometimes. The only thing that gets me through meals sometimes is the image of how he looked after I smacked him in third year… that is a beautiful memory… I can still remember Ron's face after I did it. Too bad I'm not likely to have another opportunity, unless he falls out of favor with the Dark Lord. Then I could beg the Death Eaters to let me have a crack at him first… of course that would never happen, but I can always dream.
Strange, I'm even beginning to think of him like that – the Dark Lord - instead of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named or Voldemort. I suppose Severus is rubbing off on me.
It's still a little tense with Harry. It's slowly going back to the way it was before I married Severus… Harry saw that it had to happen, but he certainly wasn't happy about it. Viktor was a lot more supportive, actually… but he also hasn't hated Severus for years. Harry still hasn't learned that people are more than just their outer appearance, or the title of the group they belong to. While I obviously can't agree with the Death Eaters' principles, the individuals involved are still people. Except for the Malfoys… they're some sort of strange sub-human species, definitely. And Severus is a spy, he's not a Death Eater anymore. I don't see why Harry still mistrusts him, because honestly… and I'd only admit this here, in this journal… I think I trust Severus now more than anyone else alive.
And that's saying a lot.
We've gotten a lot closer over the last few weeks – he seems to really understand me. He's still a bastard, of course – that's him after all… and I kind of like it. He's even fun to argue with – he doesn't get hurt feelings like Harry does, so it's easier to just let go and say what I think. I don't have to always hold back. And… the physical side of it is amazing, nothing short of amazing. I'm still kind of shy – he's so much more experienced than I am – but it's getting easier to suggest sex to him… probably because I don't seem to have to worry about being turned down! At least not so far… and he was even really understanding when I was too squicked to think about sex the last few days… he may not have a problem with it, but I don't think I'm ready to do something like that while I'm bleeding. Luckily, it seems like my period's almost over now so we can get back to showering together in the morning. And other things.
It's confusing… I don't even know what I feel about Severus anymore. I've always respected him, and I've come to like him now, also… but when I lay there at night next to him, I feel like there may be something more. But I just don't know. It seems too quick.
I'm scared, too… Severus said that the Dark Lord would want to meet me eventually. I'm not scared – really – about meeting the Dark Lord… but how am I supposed to face the Malfoys without hexing them? I don't think that would be a good idea – to hex a high-ranking Death Eater in the presence of the Dark Lord. Figure that'd earn me an Avada Kedavra for sure. And while it may be worth it, if I could take Malfoy down with me… it would bring some trouble to Severus, I'm sure. And I couldn't stand it if anything happened to him.
Hermione sighed and shut the journal, rubbing her eyes. She was glad it was Saturday. It had been a difficult week, in many ways. Severus had been on edge since his Summons the week before and he now insisted on nightly Occlumency lessons. Which would have been easier had she not already been exhausted with her apprentice work on higher-level Transfiguration theory.
She had chosen non-solid Transfiguration as her primary topic of study and while it was exciting, Minerva had warned that it was without a doubt the most difficult area of Transfiguration. So far, that appeared to be true. She had worked the entire week to Transfigure a cup of water into a solid ball, and had been only partially successful. Minerva had been delighted with her progress even though her ball still had the tendency to melt on the table after a few minutes. However, frozen water acted as any other solid during Transfiguration, which piqued her curiosity. The next time she and Severus traveled to Diagon Alley she planned on heading into London to pick up some Muggle texts on chemistry and physics. Perhaps some study on the molecular construct of liquids and solids would assist her in her work.
The Halloween Feast had been held the evening before. She had been tense throughout the meal, secretly worried that the Dark Lord would Summon Severus either during or after the Feast. There were so many blood rituals that were believed to be more potent when performed on that night of the year… She had finally relaxed near the end and was engaged in a rather pleasant conversation with Professor Sinistra's apprentices when she saw Severus stand and leave the table abruptly. Making her excuses, she had raced back to their rooms – heart in her throat - only to find him draining a headache relief potion. When she told him her concerns he had simply shaken his head. "The Aurors are all on alert this night, Hermione. The Dark Lord knows better than to call a meeting on Samhain, particularly after what occurred the last time he attempted an important mission on that night." She had swallowed hard at that… the night Harry's parents had been killed, and the night the wizarding world – with the exception of a select few – believed the Dark Lord had been defeated by Harry Potter. She had changed the subject adroitly, and they had discussed the next journal entry for a short time before going to bed.
Now, in the early morning light, Hermione sat back on the couch, laying the journal on the cushion beside her. She had woken an hour before and been unable to get back to sleep. After thirty minutes of lying there, snuggled against her husband, she had finally untangled herself and headed to the study to work on the journal. She had told Severus that some girls wrote in them nightly, but she had always been in the habit of writing only when her thoughts were overflowing. It had been two weeks since the last entry, when she and Ginny had run into Draco in Hogsmeade.
She was amazed at just how much of this journal entry was the truth. It was almost as if Severus was manipulating her, but with her full knowledge. She shook her head, frowning a little. Her thoughts were interrupted by a silky voice coming from the doorway to the bedroom.
"Incendio."
The fire roared to life and she turned to look at Severus, letting out a breath when she saw that he was still bare-chested, clad in only the loose trousers he preferred to sleep in.
When he wore anything, that is.
"Good morning," she said as he advanced towards her. He flicked his eyes to the journal sitting beside her and nodded a greeting.
"Unable to sleep?"
"I woke up about an hour ago and couldn't get back to sleep. I finally gave up and thought I'd get the journal entry out of the way."
"I see. No dreams, then?"
"No," she said firmly. "Nothing disturbing, at least." No, the dreams hadn't been disturbing in the least… She colored slightly, cursing her tendency to flush so easily. And then, after seeing the smirk on his face, she cursed his ability to read her expressions so easily.
"Indeed," he commented casually, moving the journal from the cushion next to her and setting it on the table before seating himself. "Nothing disturbing. That is… intriguing. And just what were you dreaming about, then?"
"Oh, no. It's a secret. I couldn't possibly tell you," she said playfully, smiling when she saw one eyebrow go up.
"Maybe I could… persuade you… to speak?" he said in a low voice, lowering his mouth to hers in a slow, gentle kiss. When he pulled back, her breath caught at the look in his eyes.
"Um… I'm still…"
"I told you that that doesn't bother me, my dear," he said huskily, kissing her again before pulling back. "But since it is an uncomfortable idea to you…"
"It's just… well, it would be messy, with the blood…" She trailed off when his breath caught. Her mouth dropped open as she realized why. "Oh… the Call…"
He tensed and glanced at her shrewdly before pulling away completely.
"That's why you don't have an issue with it, isn't it? The Call… does it… would it help-"
He shook his head. "Everything we do assists in keeping the Call… satisfied, as you are relatively inexperienced. Though at times the Call tries to demand more…" He frowned.
"If it would help, I suppose we could-"
He cut her off curtly.
"No." She looked at him in bewilderment, and he shook his head with a sigh. "It is far too early in the morning for a drawn out discussion concerning the Call of the Blood, Hermione."
"Can you explain why not, at least? Just yesterday you were trying-"
"I am aware of that," he said, running a hand through his hair. Finally he sighed. "The Call… works subtly at times. So subtly that even I cannot detect it… while at other times it screams its presence in my veins."
"And this was one of the subtle times?"
"Correct. Easily subdued, once identified," he said casually, standing from the couch. "Although, if I tempt it by giving in – when blood or an Unforgivable is involved - it is that much harder to control the next time."
"Oh." Hermione bit her lip, her mind racing. It seemed that every time Severus spoke of the Call, new information came out… she wondered just what else he wasn't telling her. She watched him as he floo'ed the kitchens for breakfast, and as he stood up straight she finally gathered the courage to ask, "What… what else is there to the Call? It seems like each time you speak of it, there is more and more to it."
Severus' back muscles tensed for a moment before he took a breath and turned to face her. "You ask me to give, in one easy lesson, the knowledge gathered by decades of experience and study? You should know that is not how the world works, Hermione. As things occur to me, I will tell you. Those things which I feel you should know."
"Those things you feel I should know," she echoed sullenly.
"Correct."
Realizing from his clipped tone that she would get no more out of him, she sat back and forced herself to relax. Suddenly, a wicked smile grew on her face. "Fine. You can make it up to me by taking me into Muggle London today."
He scowled, but did not protest, and she grinned triumphantly.
* * * * * *
"Concentrate, Hermione," Severus snapped. It was two weeks since he had been Summoned, a week since their trip into Muggle London, and Hermione had noticed his patience growing thinner at each of their nightly lessons – even though she was steadily improving.
"I am concentrating, Severus! I kept you from seeing most of the day's images," Hermione protested, scowling. It was getting frustrating. "And if this is you practicing patience then I'd hate to see you impatient. Oh, wait – I have seen that, how could I forget?" she said sarcastically.
"Oh, indeed. You have not seen impatient yet, Hermione. What time do you think we have? I cannot stall the Dark Lord forever without calling my own loyalties into question," he snapped, black eyes flashing. "Forgive me if I don't find it constructive to coddle you during these lessons."
"I blocked you, I don't know what you're so angry about. I can do this," Hermione protested, pushing her hair back from her face.
"You can do this?" Severus advanced on her like a cat stalking its prey. Involuntarily, she fell back a step. "Then prove it to me, Hermione. Block all memories of… let's say - these chambers – from your mind."
"But I'm here all the time, how can I-"
He cut her off brusquely.
"You said you could do it. And you did successfully block all images of Minerva's office. So… let's see how far you can stretch it, shall we?" Without a pause, his eyes locked on hers and she could feel him watching the images coming from her mind.
Just block… just block… I can do it… She concentrated; sweat beading on her forehead as she felt him begin to rifle through her memories… no longer just waiting to see what images would spin out. So he was determined to prove her wrong, was he? Well, she wouldn't allow it… Concentrate…
Images flowed… Ginny and Hermione, laughing in the Three Broomsticks… her mother, singing while washing dishes… Crookshanks, batting at a fly… Severus, holding her in the Head Girl's rooms… a puppy she had as a child, gamboling about the backyard while she chased after it, laughing… Draco placing a small wrapped package in front of her in the Great Hall…
THWUMP!
She jumped, losing her concentration and other images flowed out before she could stop them… Dumbledore and Severus seated in the study, discussing the plan… Severus showing her the bathtub… Hermione placing the Dark Arts books on the upper shelf of the wardrobe, hiding them with clothes… Severus taking down her hair, so slowly…
"What was that?" Severus hissed.
"I don't know – some loud nois-"
"I caused the noise to see how strong your concentration actually was, you silly little girl," he snapped. His eyes narrowed and he grabbed her shoulders tightly, bringing her face closer to his. In a whispered hiss, he said, "Why were you covering the books?"
Oh, Gods… he saw… "Um… I… I just… w-wanted to."
Severus' face grew thunderous. "Do not try to hide things from me!"
Wrenching herself from his grasp, she cried out, "I'm not hiding things from you!"
"Aren't you? Did you forget that I can read emotions with the images, you silly child?" Severus said sleekly, steel in his tone.
"Well… even if I was, is that really so terrible? How many things do you hide from me?"
"That is immaterial!" Severus yelled. He stopped for a moment before continuing in a carefully controlled voice, "I allowed you to keep those books because they were simple, to satisfy your curiosity… I didn't want you to go to Knockturn Alley behind my back and acquire others. Others more potent. I thought you would have the presence of mind to ask my counsel if the lure became too great. Obviously I was incorrect." Severus' eyes flashed again. "I should have extracted a wand-oath from you. I would have, had I known what a foolish child you would be."
"I'm not a child!"
"Correct – you are a woman who is acting like a child! Which is much worse! Use the brains that you have, woman! Why ever would you not tell me, Hermione?" Anger suffused his tone, but also something else.
Tell him everything!
No. He will only put more restrictions on you… you need the knowledge…
Each step seems but a small one.
If you want them to pay, you will have to gain the knowledge…
They will pay. I will make them pay.
"I… I didn't think it mattered… the lure wasn't too much… and I knew you would react like this…" she fumbled, frantically trying to think of something to make him calm down.
"You're bloody right I would! If they're luring you so much that you have to hide them…"
"No, Severus – they're fine, it's fine. I didn't have to hide them. I haven't even pulled them out since that day. Honestly. They've been there ever since. I feel the urge, sometimes, but it's not overpowering," Hermione said, disgusted with herself when she caught the pleading note in her voice.
Severus stood completely still for a long moment before fixing his gaze on her. "Did I not tell you of the subtlety of the Call, Hermione?"
She gaped at him, alarmed. "But… but I would have to read a Book of the Blood to be taken by the Call, and I haven't!"
"How can I be certain, particularly now? How do I know you're not concealing that from me, also?" he spat, and her mouth dropped open in shock. And anger.
"Look then, why don't you? Just take a look, in my mind – you can see it. I saw the book twice – the day I first got it I read no more than two sentences, and then the other time was here, at your desk. I only read one sentence then," she exclaimed.
"One of the most potent sentences in the book… the Blood Rites ritual…"
"Damn it, Severus! I never had the illness, all right? Isn't that a requirement? Isn't that the sign? Or is that something else you didn't think I needed to know? And I haven't had the urge to go kill anyone, either, other than Malfoy. And I rather think that's more to do with him being a slimy tosser who deserves to die rather than the Call of the Blood!" She was shouting now. He eyed her coldly.
"Perhaps I will look. With your permission?" he said snidely.
She nodded sharply and met his eyes openly, thinking of the two instances when she saw the Book of the Blood. The memories ran through her mind… taking the package back to the Head Girl's rooms, unwrapping it… sitting on the bed and opening the cover of the book… glancing at the page in front of her, the glistening red letters shining in the candlelight…the feeling of wrongness overcoming her, causing her stomach to roil… slamming the book shut and hiding it beneath heavy wards, her head pounding… sitting with Severus as he scanned the pages… seeing one page, upside down, and reading a single line, her stomach clenching… Severus slamming the book shut…
He averted his gaze and she let out a shaky breath, her anger forgotten as she recalled the horrible sense of wrongness. Neither of them said anything for a few moments, until Severus broke the heavy silence.
"It appears that you are being open with me, Hermione. You are not that good of an Occlumens. Yet. Be that as it may, I will still take the other books and ward them." She opened her mouth to protest but he raised a hand to stop her. "To be safe, Hermione. If you wish to read them, to study them, I insist on being present." She opened her mouth again but was cut off by his voice, snapping, "Do not bother arguing. I understand the danger far better than you do. Why didn't you tell me?"
Hermione said nothing, just crossed her arms and looked away, hoping his anger would abate soon. Her own righteous anger had fled, leaving behind a sort of numbing guilt. She knew he was right… her own mind had urged her often enough to tell him, but then that other voice would rise up…
"I don't know why you decided to keep this from me, Hermione." His black eyes bore into hers and she averted her gaze.
"I'm sorry… I should have told you. But you never really said to tell you, and I just didn't think it was significant…"
"It was foolish. I never expected you, of all people, to do something so absurd! One of those brainless twits you call friends, perhaps, but not you, Hermione! There are three people on this Earth that will answer your questions about the Call of the Blood without killing you, and you're married to one of them. Why didn't you ask me?" He was gaining momentum again and in desperation she remembered McGonagall's advice from Diagon Alley…
"You're right, I know, Severus… please. Can we just forget about it for now?" She moved closer to him, emboldened when he didn't push her away, and lifted her mouth to his. She was relieved when he kissed her back, reluctantly at first but as her hands continued to move over his body his kiss grew more enthusiastic.
Suddenly he pulled back and glared at her. Her hands faltered, and she immediately felt foolish. He knows what I'm doing…but, then why did he respond at all? Unless…
A sneer formed on his face. "I see you're not so overcome with guilt that you are unwilling to draw on your feminine wiles to assist you." She felt her cheeks color guiltily at the biting comment. Raising an eyebrow, he regarded her silently while she fought the urge to shift uncomfortably. "You truly thought that this would trick me? Would cause me to forget what you have done? To… let you off the hook?"
The condescending tone spurred an answering indignation in her and she took a deep breath, letting it out before stating boldly, "Well, it was working, wasn't it?"
He gave her a shrewd look at that. An arrogant look. "Only because I desire it to, my dear young wife. Remember that."
Oh, indeed, she thought, hit by sudden inspiration. We'll see about that. Three weeks of sharing a bed with this man had taught her a few things about his responses. Stepping close to him once again, she reached up to touch his cheek. He watched her suspiciously, but did not move away. "I see. So, Severus, there will be a time when it won't work? When you won't desire it to work? When the touch of my skin-" she trailed her fingers down his neck, allowing her nails to graze his skin lightly, biting back a smile when she saw his breathing begin to increase "-or my lips on your neck-" she brought her hand down to his chest and reached her head up to kiss the sensitive spot just above his collarbone "-won't have the same effect?"
She pulled her head back and eyed him challengingly. His eyes flashed, but she couldn't read the emotion behind them. Gathering her courage around her, she swallowed and continued, "Can you imagine a situation in which my touch on you, my breath against your skin, the feel of my body pressed against yours-"
As she spoke, she twined her arms around his neck and pressed against him, feeling his arousal against her stomach. She smiled slightly and continued, whispering into his ear, "When it won't fuel your desire at all? Can you imagine an instance where that will be true?" And at this, she pulled back, dancing out of his reach as he tried to grab her, and watched smugly as he struggled to regain control. A flicker of an eyelid, a slight widening of the nostrils, was all that betrayed his reaction. Finally, he raised an eyebrow.
"Touché, my dear." And then, a genuine smile spread over his features and she froze in amazement. Her momentary shock gave him a chance to glide up and grab her, pulling her roughly against his body. The smile vanished, replaced by an unreadable look.
"You do realize that I am still angry with you." His voice was low, but hard and unyielding and she felt a jolt of excitement, recalling Lavender and Ginny's comments – maybe now he wouldn't hold back, maybe now… Thinking to encourage him she whimpered and pressed against him, bringing her arms around his neck as he lowered his mouth to hers in a searing kiss. It was demanding, rough… and so passionate it took her breath away. This is what she wanted, she realized… Severus, all of him, untamed, not in control… completely open to her…
He dragged her down to the floor, pushing her against the carpet, and she found his mouth again, kissing him hungrily. Her hands pulled at his shirt, unbuttoning it quickly – her movements much defter after weeks of practice – and once she peeled it off he flipped them both so that she was on top. As he pulled off her shirt, she ran her hands down his chest, fingers brushing his nipples, thumbs meeting in the center over his breastbone…
He grabbed her and pulled her down to his chest, his mouth and teeth dragging over the skin of her neck and shoulder… he stopped then, hesitating as he brought his breath back under control and she almost groaned with frustration. "Don't… don't stop…" she pleaded, bending her head to suck on the spot just above his collarbone.
He groaned and wrapped his arms around her. "Just… regaining control."
"Don't." She lifted her head from his neck and looked at him seriously. "I want you… out of control."
He shook his head slightly. "You think you do, perhaps. Trust me, Hermione." And he brought her lips down to his, kissing her thoroughly, his tongue flicking into her mouth… and then he moved his lips to that sensitive spot below her ear and she moaned, her neck arching. Well, she thought, this is certainly worth it, either way…
Some time later they relaxed together on the carpet, Hermione still lying on his chest, her head nestled under his chin.
"I am… was… angry because I am concerned, Hermione," Severus said in a barely audible voice, stroking her bare back. "I know how easy it is to get pulled in. I wouldn't… want that to happen to you." The frank openness in his voice took her by surprise. She had never heard him speak in that particular tone before.
Hermione raised her head and gave him a slow, lingering kiss before tucking her head back against his chest. "Thank you, Severus. And I am sorry I didn't ask about the books. I felt the… the lure of them, but it wasn't to the point where I couldn't resist it, so I didn't think it would be news to you, you know?"
"Anything concerning the Dark is significant, Hermione. You are powerful, your emotions raw… The stronger you are, the greater the lure."
"Why?"
Severus paused for a moment, and she lifted her head again to look at him as he said, "It's like iron filings to a lodestone… your strength in magic acts as the lodestone. It attracts the Call, the will, the energy to you."
"But I'm nowhere near as strong as Harry…"
He nodded slowly, his eyes fixed on hers, and she let out a breath. "That's why it was so essential that I not fall under the Dark, wasn't it? Just in case Harry would be tempted…"
"It would be much more difficult for Potter to resist. He is a powerful wizard. More powerful than he realizes… to successfully produce a Patronus in his third year… it's almost unheard of." He sighed then, groaning slightly. "And now, I think we need to move this to the bedroom."
"I'm perfectly comfortable," she said playfully.
"I'm too old to lie on the floor. Perhaps we can switch positions? No? Well, then, get up."
Laughing, she rolled off him and climbed to her feet. "Come on, Mr. Decrepit," she said, holding out a hand to help him up. He looked at the proffered limb disdainfully, ignoring it as he climbed to his feet.
"A noble gesture, my dear, but not very logical. You wouldn't have the strength to pull me up."
"I'm stronger than you think."
"Likely. But not strong enough to pick me up. You, on the other hand…" Suddenly he turned and swung her up in his arms. "…are no problem at all to lift." Their laughter mingled together as he carried her into the bedroom.
_______________________________________________________________
A/N: I just can't get away from these long chapters. Anyhoo – I hope it was enjoyable, and as always – please read and review!!!
Note: This chapter is abbreviated at Fanfiction.net due to more stringent guidelines surrounding R vs. NC-17. If you would like the full version – the "Director's Cut" as they say in the movie business – please read it on lordandladysnape.net or adultfanfiction.net.
Hpgirl55 – I'm glad you like their little games – a bit more here for you.
Dakota – Oh, no, please don't say he's sweet! Unless you mean he's being sweet for Snape… he's still supposed to be snarky ;). There will be no Severuses bringing flowers and reciting poetry by candlelight in this fic… But seriously, I'm glad you're enjoying it!
Jinxd n cursed – Am blushing now. Thank you!
Serpens Potio – Thank you! Not gonna answer! ;) But keep reading, and you'll find out.
Taya – Thanks for reviewing… am not going to respond to your guesses either way, as you know ;). But I'm keeping track of all the theories and when the fic is over I'll list those people that got things right.
SlytherinGin – Am impressed that you sat and read it all in one sitting – it's already pretty long! Thanks for reviewing!
Mistress Nymphadora – I'm glad you're enjoying it. Minerva and Hermione's interactions are some of my favorites to write. Don't assume the meeting wasn't helpful… I put some clues in there that will be fairly significant later on… And you will find out more about the binding eventually ;).
Daintress – I'm glad you're enjoying it, and thank you for your comments on Snape's characterization. It's difficult to write a romance with an in-character Snape, but I'm determined to do it ;).
Skisolie – Thank you for your review! I'm very flattered, and very pleased at your comments about my in character Snape and Hermione. Especially flattered since you rarely review. I think writer's block won't be an issue, and I have promised weekly updates (this would have been up last night but my son was sick yesterday)… the entire story is outlined with all major scenes planned out, and it will NOT be abandoned. Nothing worse than starting a story and then it gets abandoned, or you have to wait months between updates. I hate that myself, so I won't do it to my readers. Unless I'm hit by a bus. My email is wendynat_ff@hotmail.com if you specific questions or comments. Thanks!
Ennui deMorte – Thank you so much for reviewing!