Breaking the Habit
This is a Harry Potter songfic to Linkin Park's "Breaking the Habit." This is my first songfic, and this just came to me as to how Harry would be taking things post OoTp. Hope you enjoy. There are some OoTP spoilers in here. I don't own Harry Potter and Linkin Park owns their own song.
Harry lay motionless on his bed at the Dursleys. It was around 8 o'clock, and Harry was left alone while the Dursleys were out of the house. Though they didn't want Harry to be left alone in the house, they knew he wouldn't be doing anything. Harry had become very distant to everyone as soon as he returned home for the summer, and no one knew or really cared why.
Harry got up and turned on his stereo that was on his desk. It used to belong to Dudley, but when he got a much better and newer one, the "old" one was given to Harry. He turned it on and started flipping through the stations. He finally settled on a rock station and lay back down on his bed. The radio station started to play Linkin Park's "Breaking the Habit." Harry lay listening intently, thinking back to all that had happened to him his previous year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
Memories consume
Like opening the wound
I'm picking me apart again
Harry started thinking about all the events of last year, how Voldemort had played with his mind and his emotions.
You all assume
I'm safe here in my room
[Unless I try to start again]
Harry got up from his bed and proceeded to the radio. He turned up the volume so the music started to shake the room. Harry then set his gaze to his open window and started to look out into the open sky.
I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused
His thoughts drifted as to how the battles always did seem to matter about him. Harry began thinking of the prophecy again. "One cannot die while the other survives." It always came down the death of Harry and the life of Voldemort. No matter what the circumstance, whether it be the fight for a valuable like the Sorcerer's Stone, Hogwarts existence itself, or just Harry's own life, it always boiled down to Harry being in Voldemort's way of staying alive.
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright
So I'm
Breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight
Harry began to realize that his body was starting to shake. 'Get it under control' Harry told himself. He was thinking of how he let his emotions get the best of him when it came to hearing the truth of Sirius and how his life had been torn apart again. Harry had gone as far as to lash out and break things in Dumbledore's office. He quickly let the thought go; knowing full well what he was capable of doing.
Clutching my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more
As Harry began thinking again of his past, his breathing became a little faltered; his mind was more into his thoughts than his breathing. It hurt Harry now more than ever to think of Sirius's departure and all that had happened up until now. Things weren't made any easier by the prophecy, seeing as how it looked as if everything was happening for a reason.
Than anytime before
I had no options left again
I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So I'm
Breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight
As Harry heard this lyrics pulsing through his mind and making his temples ache from the pounding, he knew he couldn't take it anymore. He grabbed the nearest thing to him, which was a lamp, and swung it to the wall. All the anger and sadness built up was pushed out by his rage. Harry didn't care how much he got in trouble by the Dursleys, or how much he destroyed his room, all that mattered was he now had an outlet. The song raged on as Harry kept venting out his frustration.
I'll paint it on the walls
'Cause I'm the one at fault
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends
Books and different things went flying around Harry's room. He had gone as far as to tear up his pillows and throw Hedwig's cage to the floor. Whatever paper he could find was torn up. When there was nothing left to be destroyed, Harry took to hurting himself, but not so much on purpose. He began punching his wardrobe, then took to his walls. Harry's knuckles were becoming raw and red, but he didn't care.
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But now I have some clarity
To show you what I mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So I'm
Breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight
As the song ended, so did Harry's rampage. Dust and feathers cleared as sat down on the floor against his door. He put his head in hands, all the while thinking of what had happened. He heard the front door click open and the Dursleys footsteps. Harry got up and opened the door. He proceeded down the stairs and knew that whatever happened next, he could handle it.