The Girly-Love Fic

Disclaimer: all characters belong to ME, I own nothing and only play.

Notice: This takes place just before the episode of AtS where Spike asks for new car to replace the one he ruined by driving on the beach. It was written not to explain that, but to shut the pie-holes of the guys who complained about the mild (excessively mild) suggestion of stud-love in The Hot, Oil Story. Explaining the beach driving incident was just gravy.

Harmony and Eve walked across the still warm sand, profoundly drunk. Of course, neither one considered herself drunk, and Harmony actually had a reason for her delusion. She'd been told once that you couldn't get drunk if you stuck to the same drink all night. Since she and Eve had started the night drinking champagne, gin fizzes, wine spritzers, Pink Ladies and tequila shooters, and had ended the night drinking champagne, gin fizzes, wine spritzers, Pink Ladies and tequila shooters, she couldn't possibly be drunk.

Their night out together started as an attempt of Eve's to pump Harmony for information about Angel, but had turned into a long, boozy complaint-fest about men. Harmony had plenty to say on the subject, and Eve's natural competitiveness made her eager to keep up with the vampire. By closing, they were plastered and looking for a place to cool off. That was how they found themselves stumbling and giggling across the beach towards the ocean.

"I so need a swim," Harmony said, stripping off her dress and dropping it. Her shoes followed before she realized something important. "I didn't bring my bathing suit with me tonight!" she wailed.

"So what?" Eve asked in a challenging slur, "There's no one else here, we don't even need to wear our undies. We can swim nude, like fish or mermaids or . . ." Eve lost her train of thought but remembered about the skinny-dipping and shimmied out of all her clothes.

The mermaid thing sounded good to Harmony, who'd always wanted to be one, and her bra and panties followed Eve's to the sand.

"You have pretty boobies," Eve remarked, trying to focus on them.

"They're big, pretty boys, yes, yes they are." she crooned, patting Harmony's breasts like a pair of puppies. Eve preened at her prescience when Harm's breasts bounced as if they were indeed frolicking puppies.

"Are you going to name them?" Eve continued, delighted with her private joke.

Name what? Harmony wondered, looking around in confusion for something nameable.

"I think Rex is a good name," Eve said, "Rex and . . . Carlos! Good boy, Rex! Good boy, Carlos! Look, they're playing together."

Oh, the girls, Harmony thought as Eve entertained herself by bouncing the mock puppies into each other. You couldn't give a girl a boy's name! Unless it was the kind of boy's name that you gave to a girl, like Sydney or Alex. She was about to point this out to the liaison when Eve got a slightly cross-eyed look on her face.

Amusing as her puppy joke was, Eve was starting to feel a little sick watching Harmony's nipples go around and around. She flattened her hands against the vampire's ample breasts to make them stop. When she was sure nothing was going to come up she slung an arm around Harmony's waist and walked into the surf with her.

Eve floated on the waves, feeling cool and relaxed. Somewhere around or beneath her Harmony was fulfilling her mermaid fantasy, which Eve had heard about in great detail on their way into the sea.

Harmony's wet head surfaced a few inches from Eve's. "I'm still thirsty," she whined, "and I can't drink any of this water!" Harm eyed Eve with drunken cunning. "I'm hungry too, and there was nothing to eat at that stupid human bar. Do you have anything, you know, on you . . . or in you . . . I could have?"

Eve knew there was a possibility for blackmail, or manipulation, or something, in this situation that she could exploit to within an inch of it's life but she was too drunk to figure out what it was, or to care very much. Besides, Harm had drifted even closer and Rex and Carlos were nuzzling Eve's shoulder. So adorable, she thought dreamily.

Eve realized that she was being pulled into an upright position, and Harmony's puppies were snuggling with her puppies while Harm nuzzled her throat. Eve used the flat of her hand against Harm's now bumpy forehead to push the vampire away.

"Not there," she told the other blonde crossly. "Not where everybody could see it, that is just so tacky."

Eve wiggled out of Harm's embrace to float on her back again. "Just make sure it won't show," she murmured as Harmony's thirsty attention shifted to her right breast, followed immediately by her needle sharp fangs. Eve was faintly surprised at how little it hurt as she drifted off to sleep.

Spike was standing by the sea wall, looking out over the calm beach and slowly finishing his cigarette. He'd always loved the sea, a holdover from his days as a soft poet. He could see 2 figures out in the waves; no doubt young lovers having a moonlight swim. Spike inhaled the sea air, enjoying the scent . . . of blood? And something else, very familiar.

He inhaled again. Harmony, and the stupid bint was back on the good stuff. He was certain he knew her victim as well; unfortunately massive amounts of alcohol in the scent were interfering with identification. Suddenly, the hair on the back of Spike's neck stood up with the preternatural awareness a predator has for the approach of another, fiercer predator. There were only a few creatures in the sea that could raise a vampire's hair, and only one that would come in so close to shore to hunt. Bollocks.

Spike jumped into the company car he'd chosen for this evening's joy ride and sped out onto the beach. The sand and seawater would ruin the car but what the hell? It was Wolfram and Hart, and it was the wanker, they could both afford to lose a car in a good cause and he needed to get as close as possible to the swimmers as quickly as possible.

He stripped off his duster, shirt and shoes, and ran into the water, reaching Harmony and Eve shortly before the shark did. He didn't bother to wonder why Eve was with Harmony, especially in such a compromising position, since he was sure it would be something generically nefarious. Spike was just glad the shark that had begun circling them was a youngster, barely 5' long.

He shook Harmony loose of Eve's breast and managed to get it through her booze and blood addled brain that she was in serious trouble, news that served to make Harmony unhelpfully hysterical.

With a disgusted snort, he pushed the sleeping Eve into Harm's arms and told her to keep her dinner's head above water while he dealt with the shark. Years ago a South American fisherman had told him that sharks had sensitive noses, and you could escape one if you could get a good punch in. If the shark gave you the opportunity.

Moments later, stunned that it had actually worked, Spike was swimming back to land with both women in tow. Under almost any other circumstances he'd be enjoying this but as it was he was irritated and hoping the shark didn't recover from its' sore snoot before they reached the beach. Or after – the finned bastard would probably be pissed off enough to follow them onto the sand.

Guess not, Spike thought thankfully, as Harmony collected her and Eve's clothes from the beach and he got the snoring liaison stuffed into the back seat of the ruined car. Harmony got into the passenger seat, after draping Eve's dress modestly over her sleeping form, and meekly endured a lecture from Spike about not behaving like an idiot during the drive to her apartment. As usual, she wasn't listening anyway.

Spike dumped Eve onto Harmony's bed, marveling at how loudly the dainty liaison snored. Well, it was Harmony's problem now since neither Spike nor anyone else knew where Eve lived.

"Have fun," Spike told Harmony as he left, "but not too much fun. I wouldn't want to have to point in your direction if the Senior Partners came around asking where their little pet went."

Harmony sat down disconsolately on the bed beside the sleeping Eve, the details of the evening scattered hazily across her hangover bound brain. Why had she been feeding on Eve, in the ocean? And who were Rex and Carlos?

The End