Title: Not a Good Morning

Author: StarQuality

Disclaimer: I don't own The Bill, but this randomness is mine.. But, the challenge wasn't.

Summary: Jim Carver isn't having a good morning. (Short, plotless drabble)

A/N: 'write a fic involving the following: TB, a teapot, at least one beard, and err... the Rasmus.'. That was the challenge, and I've risen to it. Sort of. Ish. Don't laugh, I have a German exam on Thursday, and the dentist tomorrow. And I've been left all alone, as none of my friend's are online.
This is a total drabble, it's not meant to have a plot or anything. Two 'sections' of drabble. (The A/N and footnote are longer than the actual fic, I think!) This fic is dedicated to the England fan (Stephen), who was stabbed to death by a Croatian fan, because we won the football. R.I.P Stephen.

Story (Ish.):

"Damn." Jim Carver muttered as he brought the razor blade across his face, almost slicing his cheek in half. "Damn!" he said again.

He reached over for a tissue, but accidentally knocked the radio onto the floor. The 'stupid thing', as it was often referred to, as it had a mind of it's own, whirred into life, and started playing anything but the station Jim liked. He couldn't be arsed with it, so he put it down and left it on.

"So, that was Sinead O'Connor, with..." drawled the DJ, who was obviously a man who didn't enjoy his job. 'And now... The Rasmus... In The Shadows..."

Jim positively growled. He hated that song. He bashed the radio - It was the only way to change the station - and it hummed, fizzled and went dead. Jim stroked the beard that he seemed to be growing. He hadn't had time to shave the day before. Normally he did it before he went to bed, which he had often been told was weird, but he'd been out at the pub the previous night. With June and some other colleagues.

"Alright. If that's how you want to do things. Stay off then." He looked at the offending piece of machinery smugly. "Fine with me, mate."

After defeating the radio in a battle of wits, and after he had finished shredding his face in an attempt to look decent for work, Jim went to have some breakfast. He glanced at the clock, noticed it was getting late, and began hurriedly looking in the cupboards for something to eat.

"Damn!" he shouted, for the third time, as an old teapot fell onto the floor and smashed, "I don't need this."

That's when it happened. Just as he was sweeping up the shards of broken china. Footsteps. Footsteps on carpet. Jim, being the rational fellow that he is, started to panic. All sorts of things ran through his mind.

'Oh god, what's if it's a burglar? What do I do...?! Wait. Basic training. I know what to do.' Jim thought, as he edged out of the kitchen, 'It must be.. Who else would it be...'

Jim waited at the bottom of the stairs. The steps were getting louder. (See Bottom of Fic!) Two feet came into view. They were both in black shoes. Sensible, copper-type shoes. The kind that June Ackland, the object of his secret desire, would wear.

June Ackland.

"Damn."

End of Drabble

Note: Yes, she was still coming down the stairs in the time it took for Jim to travel from the kitchen. He has a lot of stairs, ok!?

As I said, challenge fic. It has no plot, it's ridiculously silly. It's meant to be. I can't believe there aren't lots of Jim/June fics on ff.net, I thought they were like... 'The Couple'... Maybe not. (Everyone seems to like Boulton fics. Trust me not to have watched it then!) I know what happens with them, so if you want me to spoil it for you, then I will. If you don't, then of course I won't. In this, she's the 'object of his secret desire', but it doesn't seem so much of a secret to me in the show... Maybe that's just me and my Jim/June 'Shipper mind.

But anyway, go ahead and flame. Make my day... No, I'm not upset today. But if I get too many flames, I'll take it down and do it again. It wasn't meant to be 'funny' as such, but just a bit of light relief from my other TB fic (I Remember, lots of yummy Nick Klein angst. (Not Yummy Nick Klein, in the same way as Yummy Luke or Yummy Smiffy or Yummy Duncan or Yummy Phil or Yummy Gary or Yummy Matthew, but still Yummy.) Read!) and so... Well. You've read it, and I don't have much to say.

Except, the last line was said by Jim. As that seems to be his 'line' in this fic. I don't know if he would actually say that about June, as he's madly in love with her and all. I was going to write more, but I couldn't be bothered. Too much work that I 'have to do'. But won't, as is often the case with Miss. Quality. And, Jim might not like them, but I love The Rasmus. Too much.

Star
xxx
(I really need a hand with my Red Dwarf fic. Actually, I just need a title. Any help appreciated greatly!)