Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine. Anything you recognize from JK Rowling's books is not mine. Anything you don't recognize is either mine or a typical fanfiction plot device. The Call of the Blood and the concepts associated with it – as a package, not as individual elements - are my creations, not the creations of JK Rowling – please email me if you wish to use them or a derivative of them in a story.
Partly inspired by the Marriage Law Challenge on WIKTT. See Chapter 1 for full disclaimer. Author's Notes at the end.
Warning:This fic is SS/HG and includes character death, descriptions of abuse, and adult situations.
Cloak of Courage
WendyNat
Chapter 24
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"I know it is difficult, but you must try to resist it, Hermione. Promise me…"
"I…" Hermione swallowed. "I will try, but-"
"Good," he said abruptly, standing from his chair.
Sighing, she sank back into the couch and watched him silently, her mind a whirlwind of thoughts from the morning's events. After he returned them to their chambers, he had turned on her in a rage, demanding to know why she had been walking about alone and, as he put it, offering herself up as a victim too tempting to ignore. She had sat up wildly, close to hysteria as she tried to tell Severus about Ginny and what Draco had said. Severus quickly contacted Dumbledore and, after some quick checks by Minerva and Madam Pomfrey, it had been determined that Crabbe had, thankfully, followed his orders explicitly. Ginny had been Obliviated and left outside the Gryffindor Common Room. As Ginny remembered it, she and Hermione had had a short talk and then parted ways so that Ginny could return to pack.
It had been decided not to inform the young witch of the true situation. Hermione had no idea what story they had told the redhead to explain why her Head of House and Hogwarts' Mediwitch had raced into Gryffindor tower to find her and question her about her morning activities. At any rate, Ginny and Harry were now at the Burrow and safely away.
After some fierce talks with Dumbledore that afternoon, it had also been decided not to punish any of those involved. While that decision would have normally raised Hermione's righteous ire, she accepted the necessity of it. Though Lucius wouldn't likely be pleased, the blond man would not be able to argue that Severus acted with the utmost of restraint in delivering Malfoy's punishment, and the Dark Lord would be pleased at Severus' decision to keep the information from reaching Dumbledore's ears. His loyalty to the cause would be, once again, proven.
She shook her head slightly. Severus seemed able to turn any situation around to benefit him and his standing with the Death Eaters…
…even their marriage. His words from what seemed so long ago came back to her:
This is the best solution for you. The possibility that it may raise me higher in the Circle is an added benefit only. A perk, if you will.
And what a perk it had been for him. He had wrung ever possible benefit from their marriage, twisted around the Malfoy's attempts at destroying her trust, and had even caused her to fall in love with him. A strange feeling twisted her stomach. She was fairly sure he felt… something… for her, but the way he went from hot to cold… she was confused by him, more often than not. She didn't think it was all an act, but how would she know? The man was obviously a master manipulator.
But… he had said he trusted her. And it had been so raw, so open, so simple a statement, that she knew in her heart that it was the truth.
So, he trusted her. And he felt something for her. She just wished… Don't be stupid, Hermione. You knew what you were getting into, she chastised herself. She had never expected him to want to be with her… but that was before she fell in love with him.
She snapped out of her reverie when Severus began speaking again. His voice was strangely harsh. "I have said this before, but it bears repeating – use your stubbornness. The Call will push you to cast Avada Kedavra, or to perform the… the Blood Rites."
The Blood Rites. Payment offered, Blood accepted. Severus had been so close… so close to completing them… and then had stopped. Because of her. The twisting feeling in her stomach eased, smoothing out and calming.
"You were able to resist it, Severus… I saw you… I know how much the Call was demanding… I could feel it through the bond," she whispered.
Severus turned his head from her, the lank black hair falling across his face, obscuring his eyes. "It was touch and go, with Draco. If you hadn't…" His voice trailed off and he turned back to face her. "Still, it would not have had the same dire consequences for me. The Call is already a part of me, completely. For you, it would complete the linkage."
"But, Severus… the Blood Rites… if the battle comes, and Moody won't do it, someone else-"
"No." Severus stood up straight, his posture strict and intimidating. She scowled at this attempt to pull the Potions Master persona on her. "If Moody does not consent to perform the Blood Rites, then I will. But do keep in mind that prophecies are cryptic and we may be misreading its intent."
"I don't see how," she snapped.
One eyebrow raised, he stared at her mockingly. "The golden brain can't think of any alternate meanings? Who is to say that the Blood Rites must be performed on the Dark Lord? Did you think of that, my young wife?"
She stopped and frowned. It was possible…
He smirked at her discomfiture. "Precisely." He flicked his fingers dismissively. "And, you will not be there, Hermione, so this entire discussion is immaterial."
"WHAT?" Hermione shrieked. He couldn't be saying it… there was no way… abruptly, she felt something through the bond, some indescribable emotion… then it was gone.
"You will be far from the battle if I have my way."
If he has his way?? Her internal musing over the mysterious emotion she was sensing ended as her anger flared once again. "And if you don't have your way?" she demanded, standing from the couch, her hands curled into fists.
Severus stepped close to her, so close that she could feel the heat radiating from his body. He watched her silently for a moment, and through the bond that questionable emotion raged once again. The silence stretched, while he did nothing other than stare down at her with those unreadable black eyes. Her anger ebbed as she once again tried to identify what the emotion could be… determination, maybe? Protectiveness? Something else? And then her breath caught as his expression changed into one more familiar to her.
"I always have my way," he said in that low, silky voice… that damned sexy voice… and she knew, even before she felt his arm wind around her waist and pull her tightly to him, that she had lost that battle.
-----
True to their agreement, Minerva and Hermione left for Diagon Alley early on the first Monday of the holidays. They met in the Great Hall for breakfast, where Hermione received a frantic owl letter from Harry. She chuckled as she read it and quickly sent off her response.
"Something amusing from Mr. Potter?" Minerva asked. Hermione grinned.
"He realized that he had no idea what to buy Ginny and Molly… he says he wants a woman's opinion for his shopping trip."
Minerva laughed. "Well, you can certainly handle that, I think. Those two will love anything Mr. Potter gets for them."
Hermione smiled. "Oh, I know, but you know how Harry is."
"Indeed I do." Minerva wiped her mouth and raised an eyebrow at Hermione. "So – are you ready?" Hermione grinned and nodded, and they were on their way.
Four hours later, Hermione was exhausted. Minerva was a true shopper, not something she would have expected from the older witch, and she said as much.
Minerva laughed. "Oh, you should have seen me when I was your age! This is nothing. Why, we even passed over a few shops, Hermione." Hermione looked around dully and saw that they were in front of Flourish and Blotts. And, with clarity, she realized that she had a perfect opportunity to take care of something that she had been thinking about since her failed attempt at Crucio two days before. The bookstore was easy to lose yourself in, and easy to lose another person in. She might have just enough time to dart down to Ollivander's with Minerva none the wiser…
"Minerva – do you mind if we pop in the bookstore for a while? I've got some things to look for… I'm not sure how long it will take me…"
Minerva smiled in anticipation. "Of course, Hermione – why did you think I stopped here? Take your time, I have a bit of browsing to do, also." Hermione smiled. Minerva's idea of a bit of browsing, as Hermione had discovered, was at least an hour's worth of intense shopping.
A very short time later, Hermione – with Disillusionment charm in place – slipped from the bookstore and quickly made her way to Ollivander's. She entered the store quietly, not wanting to disturb the strange wizard as he bent over a wand on his worktable.
"Ah. Hello, Mrs. Snape." She startled a bit – he hadn't even looked up from his work.
"Mr. Ollivander… how did you know it was me?"
The eerie, moon-like eyes lifted from the desk and squinted at her. With an irritated twist of his mouth, he flicked his wrist and released his wand, pointing it at her. She stepped back in confusion, grasping her own wand, knowing it would be too late.
"Finite Incantatum."
She felt the cool slide of the Disillusionment charm as it fell from her, grinning inwardly at her own foolishness. "Oh, I'm sorry, Mr.-"
"Yes, yes. You wanted to know, did you now, how I knew it was you? Like calls to like, young woman. You will be able to do the same, eventually. The affinity… you'll feel it."
"The… affinity? What-"
"Your time is limited, is it not? And I believe you have a request for me, perhaps." He eyed her shrewdly. "Or perhaps not?"
Hermione shook her head. The man was almost as cryptic as Trelawney. "Um… yes. Yes I did. I…" She took a deep breath. "I need a new wand."
Ollivander nodded. "Did yours get stepped on by a hippogriff? Broken in a duel? Dropped in a corrosive potion?"
Hermione frowned. "Um… no. Do you – you remember what you said, when I-"
"Of course I do, young woman. Sit there for a moment," he said, pointing at the stool on the other side of his worktable. Wordlessly, she sat and watched as he moved around in the back room, sometimes disappearing from her sight as he gathered boxes in his arms. "Here," he said, opening the first box. "Give it a try."
She took the wand from him, noting that it was the exact same as her current wand – aside from the core, of course. "Lumos." A flicker of light, but nothing more.
"Hmm. How about… this one?"
Another wand that appeared to be identical to her own. She looked at Mr. Ollivander questioningly, but he just gestured for her to continue. With a slight shrug, she obeyed his tacit command.
After three more tries, and three more identical wands, she felt a warmth flow through her and the light was strong and steady – and even brighter than any she had been able to achieve with her current wand. "Ah, yes. Ash. Nine and a half inches. Dragon heartstring core… very good."
"This is perfect, Mr. Ollivander. How much-" She stopped speaking then and cursed herself. She hadn't enough Galleons with her for a wand, and she couldn't have the cost taken from their Gringott's account by the shop… the ledger would show the transaction, and Severus would know what she had done. "But he can't know…" she whispered unconsciously. She would just have to come back another time… but when would she have an opportunity like this again? Especially now, after Draco's attack… Severus was even more protective of her than he had been before.
"Indeed. That does make things a bit more rocky, doesn't it, Mrs. Snape?" Mr. Ollivander eyed her silently. She bit her lip and nodded, moving to place the wand back into the box. His old, thin hand stopped her, and she glanced up in surprise. "Tell me, Mrs. Snape. Tell me why you need the new wand. I don't sense the Call's full presence in you. Your link is not complete. So… why do you seek to complete it?"
She stared at him for a few long heartbeats, torn. Finally, she decided to tell him as much as she could without giving specifics. She looked down at the wand, seeing her fingers curled around it, seeing his thin fingers wrapped around her hand… and took a deep breath.
"There's something… something that he might be called on to do, but that he can't do… because if he does this thing, it would result in his… in his death. So, if it comes to that, I need to be ready… I need to be ready to do it for him. But if he finds out that I've prepared for this, he will… well, he won't be happy. And he may keep me from what I… from what I need to do." Hermione looked directly at the old wand maker. In a whisper, she said, "I'm sorry, Mr. Ollivander, but I can't be more specific than that."
Ollivander stared at her in silence for a long time, during which she had to mentally restrain herself from fidgeting. Apparently seeing something satisfactory in her gaze, he nodded brusquely. "Take it. Go."
Hermione gaped at him, her fingers loosening their grip on the wand. "I'm… I'm sorry? What-"
Ollivander brought both hands up and gently curled her fingers back around the warm wood, then released her from his grip. "Go, young woman. The wand is yours." She stood slowly as he gestured her rudely out the door. Opening her mouth to protest his generosity once again, he shook his head. "Severus is an old friend. I have an idea of what you speak, and if I am right… Just go, young woman."
"Thank you, Mr. Ollivander." He nodded curtly once again and sat back at his worktable, making it obvious that he considered the transaction complete. She had turned and pushed open the door when she heard his voice behind her.
"Hermione." She froze in shock. He had used her given name… she didn't even realize he knew her given name!
"Mr. Ollivander?" He didn't reply at first, and she shifted restlessly. She still had plenty of time to return to Flourish and Blotts before Minerva began to look for her, but she didn't want to tarry long.
"Be ready."
------
Wednesday evening, Severus was Summoned.
Hermione stared at him as he pulled the deep black robes from the wardrobe, even more concern showing in her eyes than usual, though he had reassured her multiple times over the past days that he expected no negative reaction to his handling of the Malfoy situation.
When he stalked across the room to retrieve the Portkeys, he heard her vainly attempt to contain a sniffle. Sighing to himself, he firmly suppressed his annoyance and turned to face her. "Hermione – calm yourself. This is the normal meeting time for the Inner Circle, as I told you. There will probably be another this week, with the full group."
She nodded doubtfully as she stepped closer to him. He enfolded her in his arms and sighed at the feel of her body against his. Perhaps the meeting would be short tonight…
"Severus, I-" Her voice was strangely hesitant and he tensed. Perhaps she felt it, because she continued in a stronger tone, "Be careful."
"I will. Floo Albus." He kissed her softly on the top of her head and released her. Her eyes, dark brown and shining wet with poorly suppressed emotion, were the last things he saw as he activated the Portkey.
What seemed like only moments later, he knelt on a hard, grainy surface. The location of the meeting appeared to be an abandoned barn of some sort. "My Lord."
"Rise, Severus."
Preparing himself carefully, he stood and met the Dark Lord's eyes. As he let selected images slip out, he quickly informed the Dark Lord of the incident with the young Malfoy. "I was able to keep the old fool from punishing the boys further, my Lord, but it was difficult."
"I see, Severus." Meeting that red gaze took an amazing amount of strength… it was so hard to keep from tearing his eyes away and focusing on something… on anything… else. He filled his mind with indignation at the idea of his property being violated, at fear that it would turn her farther from the Dark Lord's path… spinning out a vision of her face as he entered the room… another image of the argument with Dumbledore, persuading him to let the boys go, to not inform the Weasley girl of the events that had occurred…
Suddenly, his mind was released and he rocked back on his heels, breathing heavily. He was aware, now, that the other members of the Inner Circle had appeared while the Dark Lord was examining him. Other members… including Malfoy.
"Very good, Severus. You have pleased me once again."
"I live to serve, my Lord," Severus said, bowing low as he backed away and took his place in the Circle.
The Dark Lord walked along the Circle, staring at each member thoughtfully. He paused in front of Malfoy. "Lucius. Have you any… objections… to the way Severus handled the incident with your son?"
"No, my Lord." Lucius bowed low, his nose almost touching the ground, and Severus sneered behind his mask. How quickly the mighty have fallen… He was unsurprised at Lucius' agreement. The blond man had undoubtedly witnessed the Dark Lord's approval, and even without that Severus had been well within his rights to punish the boy as he saw fit. Lucius was lucky that he hadn't been left without an heir. With these thoughts in his head, Severus felt a jolt of shock when Lucius continued speaking. "However, my Lord… I am concerned that Severus has become over-attached to this Mudblood."
Severus sucked in a breath. There was a restless shifting among the other members of the Inner Circle, and he wondered how many others may have had the same thought. Time to dissuade them of that notion.
He laughed.
And he laughed loudly.
The Dark Lord turned to face him. "You have a response to your brother's claim, Severus?"
Severus stepped forward. "My Lord, the Mudblood is simply a way to serve you. And… while she is a delightful diversion at times, I would gladly kill her if it pleased you, my Lord." His palms began to sweat, though he showed no outward reaction.
"But you… you blood marked her! You bound her filthy blood to yours!" Lucius exclaimed, forgetting himself and sitting up to stare at Severus. When the Dark Lord turned back to him he quickly lowered his head to the ground. "My Lord – I only follow your teachings when I say these things."
The Dark Lord laughed coldly. Despite hearing it many times before, Severus felt a chill run up his spine at the sound. "The Mudblood is Severus' possession. He is well within his rights to mark his property, Lucius. And it was fortunate that he did so, as your son was unable to control his Call in her presence. Perhaps I should instead wonder if your heir has become over-attached to the Mudblood?"
"No, no my Lord. Of course not, my Lord. I live to serve. I will gladly die to serve."
The Dark Lord stared at Lucius for several heartbeats. Then he said, "Rise, Lucius. Your concern was not completely out of place. Had I not seen the truth in your brother's eyes, I would have been forced to take measures to correct the situation. As it stands… you will be certain your son appears at the next gathering, Lucius. I wish to… speak… with him."
Lucius bowed his head in acknowledgement. "Yes, my Lord."
"Now. My loyal servants… my Inner Circle. Your recruitment efforts have been fruitful, and I now have a goodly number of followers to keep control once the wizarding world falls under my command." Severus dared not breathe. "The empty days will draw to a close with a fierce battle, and then we will rule the wizarding world and remake it to serve us. Under my leadership. You, who are my Inner Circle, will reap the rewards of this harvest… be prepared. Be ready."
"Yes, my Lord." The Dark Lord disappeared, and Severus stood for a moment, staring at the place where the powerful wizard had been standing.
He heard a hiss next to him. "Be wary, Severus." He nodded slightly, then turned to face the Death Eater standing beside him.
"Brother Rodolphus."
"Brother Severus. Have I told you the latest of Bella's recovery? No? Ah, then, walk with me a ways," Rodolphus said, subtly steering Severus into a more private area in the room. He cast a quick silencing charm to protect against eavesdropping.
Severus raised an eyebrow, though he knew the other man wouldn't be able to see it. "So, Brother, is there any progress with your wife? Or was that entirely part of the subterfuge?"
Rodolphus looked away. "None. I don't believe she will ever regain her full sanity. The Dark Lord himself has tried…" The other man turned back to look at Severus, his eyes glittering mischievously behind the mask. "She is still… what did you say? Oh, yes, a delightful diversion at times."
"Her appetites have not dwindled?"
"Not in the least, friend. Not in the least." Rodolphus shook his head slightly. "But that isn't why I brought you over. Be wary of Lucius. He is not so accepting of your punishment as he seems."
Severus snorted. "That is hardly a surprise." He was startled when the other man grabbed his arm.
"Severus – listen to me. He means to have revenge. Narcissa came to visit Bellatrix earlier this week. I couldn't overhear everything, but something large is being planned. Against you this time, not your Mudblood."
Severus shook his head in disbelief. "Why? Why risk the Dark Lord's wrath?"
Rodolphus dropped his arm and watched Severus silently for a moment. "This part is pure speculation, as I truly know no more… but perhaps he has something to offer the Dark Lord… some information, that will bring you into disfavor." Severus' blood went cold. Could Malfoy have discovered his double agent status? Could Rodolphus suspect him? "I'm not asking, Severus. You are a friend, and have been for many years. But if there is anything that you wish remain hidden, cover your tracks carefully. And strike first."
Severus nodded solemnly. In a carefully controlled voice, he said, "There is nothing to hide, friend, but thank you. I will be wary, and I will be ready to strike first."
"Good. It may be a moot point, if the Dark Lord moves quickly with his plan. Now, we had better mingle." With a quick Finite Incantatum, Rodolphus cancelled the silencing charm and smoothly left Severus' side.
-----
"Your loyalty was not called in question, then?"
"No. But he's getting closer to attack readiness, I'm afraid. And…" Severus' voice trailed off. He wasn't sure whether to approach the Headmaster with this yet, but he wasn't sure how much time they may have.
"Yes?"
Severus let out a breath. "The Blood Rites… as we get closer, the more and more I realize… Albus, I am entrusting you to be sure Hermione is taken care of, if I am forced to perform them on the Dark Lord. Can you do that?" Albus watched him with a thoughtful expression, and Severus felt a sinking feeling in his stomach. "Albus?"
"Moody has spoken to me, Severus. And we have an idea."
"Dear Merlin," Severus groaned under his breath.
"And this entire time, you have played me for a fool. What happened to your assertions that she should be kept from it, for little Harry Potter's sake?"
"She has proven to be most trustworthy," Albus said casually, popping a sweet into his mouth and chewing with relish.
"Yes."
"I will request that she see me tomorrow morning, then."
"Albus – I ask you, don't do this. You can't understand-"
The Headmaster sat forward in his chair. "Relax, child. I will leave the decision completely to her. And it will be a last resort only – Moody is coming around. I think by the time the prophecy is to be realized, he will do what he must." Albus chewed on the sweet for a few moments in silence, and then said, "This is really just one more step farther than she's already agreed to, Severus. And you agreed to have her memorize the spells and rituals that you researched. This is not that much different, is it?"
Severus rose from his chair. "Not that much different? You have no idea what you're asking of her, old man! You didn't pick her up, shaking, sweating, from floor when the Call barely had a toehold on her… just a toehold, Albus! She has no idea – none – just how much worse it would be if she completes the linkage!" He began to pace restlessly.
Albus eyed him speculatively. "Why does this matter so much to you, Severus? I know you're fond of the girl, but this seems a bit extreme…"
Severus stopped his pacing and scowled. "What are you getting at old man? Wait – never mind. Did you never think that perhaps I don't want to be trapped in marriage to someone who has succumbed to the Call? That I'm not leaping with joy at the thought of a fully-Call-linked witch sharing my bed?"
Albus stared at him over steepled fingers, his eyebrows raised. Severus shook his head. It wasn't the entire truth, and he realized that Albus knew it for an exaggeration, if not a falsehood. What the entire truth was, Severus had no idea. And this wasn't the appropriate venue to engage in any soul-searching. Thankfully, the older wizard stopped pursuing that line of questioning.
"You were able to resist, Severus. You turned your back on it. She can do the same. You give her too littl-"
"You truly think I've turned my back? It's not possible, Albus… it's always there, beckoning to me. Always… seething… below the surface… it's more seductive than a thousand veelas!"
"But you ignore it. You control it."
A long silence. "Yes." How to explain to this old wizard, just how difficult it was? The effort, to constantly walk that razor's edge… giving the Call just enough to get by, just enough to keep it from rearing up and consuming him?
"She can do the same."
"Or so you hope."
"She may still refuse, Severus. She has that right."
"But she won't."
Albus acknowledged that with a wave of his hand. "True. I hope she will not, at least."
"Albus-"
"Severus – if there's a way to get through this war with Tom Riddle dead and you still alive, I will take it! I know you wish to dissuade her, but it may be necessary for her to succumb to the Call, much as you may want to avoid that happening to your young wife."
Severus pursed his lips. "Very well."
"I will speak with her tomorrow. Alone."
Ignoring the Headmaster's unsubtle hint, Severus simply murmured, "Good night, Albus," and left the room.
-----
The Headmaster's request came by owl the next morning. Of course, Hermione shared it with her husband and he stated - without room for argument - that he would accompany her. She looked at him suspiciously but thankfully didn't bother to ask what he knew of the meeting.
"Ah, Hermione – I'm glad you could make it." Albus' eye lost a little of their twinkle when he saw Severus stalk in behind her. "Severus."
"Headmaster." Severus kept his voice neutral. Cold. There would be no absolution for the Headmaster for what he was about to do. Not from him.
Hermione listened carefully, her head cocked to one side, as the Headmaster described his thoughts on the Blood Rites mentioned in the prophecy. Severus had to restrain himself from jumping in while the older wizard spoke, particularly as he saw his wife's resolve solidify on her face. "I will do it."
Severus could no longer hold his tongue. "No. It should not be you, Hermione. Moody-"
"Yes. It should be me!" Her eyes brightened as she considered all angles of the suggestion. "They'd never suspect, Severus. It would be perfect…"
"No. I won't allow it."
"Allow it?"
Thankfully, Albus cut her off before she could gain momentum. "Calm down, child." Severus relaxed in his chair, only to sit up straight at the Headmaster's next words. "It is a good plan, Severus. She could be our secret weapon. A last resort only, of course."
"No."
"Sev–"
"NO. I was agreeable to her learning the curses, the hexes, the rituals that we found to kill a soul or bind one… but this… this is too far."
"She is strong. She will be able to turn her back on it, as you did."
"As I constantly fight with it? Are you insane?"
"Severus. I. Will. Do. It."
Severus stopped and looked at Hermione. Her eyes were blazing with heat, but he could feel through the bond that she was as much… flattered, perhaps… as angry. His eyes narrowed as he tried to decipher that response.
Hermione stood and walked to him. "I know you want to protect me, Severus. But I want to protect you, also. I can't let you do this. I just can't. I-" She shook her head, the bushy mass of curls swaying. "I… Headmaster. Albus. Yes, I will do it, if it comes to that. Severus." She turned to him, her eyes full of entreaty. "I promise you, I will do it only if the Dark Lord has to be the recipient of the Blood Rites and if Moody refuses… then I will step in." She turned back to face the Headmaster. "Now, I apologize, Headmaster, but I've got to go. Harry is supposed to meet me in a few minutes to go to Hogsmeade."
"Hermione-" Severus began one last attempt to dissuade her, but she cut him off.
"Goodbye, Severus. I'll see you later."
Once the door closed behind her, an uncomfortable silence fell. The two men stared at each other until Severus finally spoke. "Fine, Albus. Obviously your mind is made up. And you've manipulated my wife to follow your lead. Very well." He sneered. "I suppose congratulations are in order. You have, once again, outmaneuvered me, old man."
Albus ignored him. "You must support her in this, Severus, whatever your feelings on the matter. She is doing it to protect you. She will need your guidance."
"My guidance? So far, the only guidance I've given her was to not perform the Blood Rites or cast Avada Kedavra! And you… you were the one who ordered me to do so. Keep her from the Dark, Severus, at all costs. Do you remember, Albus?"
Albus sighed, and the ages-old weariness on his face infuriated Severus. How dare he be tired? He had no right to be tired! "She is strong."
"Yes. I only hope she's strong enough."
"She will be, Severus." Albus sat back, eyeing Severus strangely. "Child – you know she would choose to do this, with or without my intervention. And you know, in your mind, that this is the only thing to do. This could push the battle to our favor. She started on this path on her own, and… you must admit, she is willing."
"Of course she's willing, Albus. You dangled the one carrot in front of her that you knew she couldn't resist! Her loyalty to her friends, to Potter… such a Gryffindor. She's worried about Potter, will protect him regardless of the costs to her."
Albus sat back in his chair and regarded Severus over steepled fingers. "Worried about Harry? Oh, I'm certain. But I think she's more worried about you, Severus. She wants to help so that you will be safe."
Severus muttered an expletive under his breath and stalked to the window, unable to look at the Headmaster any longer.
"It's the truth, Severus."
"I don't want her protection." His hands clenched as he stared out of the window. "I need her to be safe!"
"You will see to it, then."
Severus bowed his head and then turned back to the old wizard sitting at the desk. "Albus…"
"No, son. It's her decision. She will need your guidance, if the linkage is completed."
"And if I fall in the battle?" Severus was shocked at the bitter taste in his mouth as he said the words. Gods, he was growing soft. Scowling, he continued, "Then what will become of her?"
"I suppose you'll just have to make sure you survive, then, won't you Severus?"
Severus stared at the Headmaster before saying words he had said many, many times before. "Damn you, Albus."
But this time, the words were said without heat.
------
Hermione let out a shaky breath as she walked into the Three Broomsticks with Harry. A morning scouring the shops with her friend had helped to calm her after the tense meeting that morning. Uncharacteristically, Harry had seemed sensitive to her mood and hadn't questioned her too much, just asking once if she was all right and if there was anything he could do.
Her friend was maturing.
To a point, she amended as she recalled his enthusiasm over the newest tricks on display at Zonko's Joke Shop.
They sat in a booth and Harry grinned at her. "Too bad you were with me, 'Mione. Can't give you any of these trick chocolates now."
Hermione rolled her eyes. "As if I'd eat any chocolates that didn't say Honeydukes on them, Harry. I am a woman of taste, you know."
"Right. A woman of taste? Have you looked at your greasy husband lately?"
Hermione slapped him on the arm playfully. "Quit it, Harry. Now… who are you planning to give the Transfiguration Chocolates to?"
"Can't tell you. You'd warn them."
"Likely true."
"I know it's true!"
Rosmerta came with their drinks then and Hermione nodded her thanks while Harry stared unabashedly. "Harry, they're breasts. You've seen them before."
"Those are more than just breasts, Hermione. You clearly have no appreciation for-"
"Clearly," Hermione said dryly. "Now, a word of warning about your chocolates – don't bother giving any to McGonagall. She wouldn't be fooled for a minute – and you know how she is about using Transfiguration as a joke."
"Yeah, I know," Harry said. "That reminds me – how's the apprentice project going? All the younger students are astounded and amazed, I've heard. What are you doing, anyway?"
Hermione cocked her head. "I thought I told you…" At Harry's guilty shrug, she sighed and shook her head. "Well, it's easier to show than to tell. Watch."
She pulled out her wand and sent a cloud of smoke up into the air and then, concentrated hard, Transfigured the smoke into a long rod that she then grabbed and placed in front of Harry on the table. He picked it up in awe. "That's what I'm doing. Except I usually do a sphere in the class. I wasn't able to do magically-generated smoke until the last couple of weeks… once I figured out how the molecules relat-"
"'Mione! You did it… Gods… you really did it! You figured it out!"
Hermione blinked at Harry. "Well, yeah, but I didn't think you'd be this excit-"
"You figured it out! The key… stag to blade – the Patronus… it's like a magical smoke, isn't it? You can solid-transfigure it! Into a blade!"
"Oh!" Hermione sat still, her mind whirling as she considered the idea. It sounded… right. It sounded right.
Harry sat up, his green eyes shining. "Brilliant! That's got to be the answer, I'm sure of it! I can feel it!"
"All right, Mr. Trelawney," she said with a huge smile on her face. "But I think we'll need to test it, still – we can't do that here, in the open. How about when you get back to Hogwarts after Christmas we can try it out."
"Excellent!" They beamed at each other in excitement.
------
When she entered their chambers a couple of hours later, she was surprised to see Severus sitting in the study. He was utterly still, staring into the flames. A dancing pattern of light played on his dark hair, in his black eyes.
"I thought you had a meeting to go to."
"I am leaving for it shortly." He looked at her and took a deep breath. "Hermione – do not do this."
There was no need to ask what he meant. She knew he would want to talk about the decision she had made in Albus' office that morning… and she had been dreading it. Pulling her courage around her, she began, "I have to, Severus–"
All of a sudden, his countenance grew darker. "You meant this all along, didn't you? You had no real intention of resisting the Call, did you?"
"Yes I did! I do, still, Severus. But if Moody won't-"
"Do not lie to me!"
"I'm not lying to you!" She clenched her jaw, holding back her anger with difficulty. Bastard, bastard, bastard… why can't he see?
He stood from the chair, a small sneer on his face. "You pretend to care for me, you gain my trust. And then you turn on me-"
"I am NOT turning on you! I'm not doing this to… to turn on you! I'm doing this because I love you!"
A thick silence fell, broken only by their heavy breaths. Hermione shivered. She had never said those words since the night of the blood bonding – each time she had tried he had stopped her, and she had come to the realization that he was uncomfortable with the thought - but she had to make him understand. "I… I can't allow you to perform the Blood Rites, Severus. You would die if you performed it on the Dark Lord. I can't… I can't lose you. Don't you see? I love you."
For an instant, his eyes seemed to crack open, allowing her to see into his soul… and then the familiar cold mask grew back over his features and his lips tightened. "The young often confuse physical intimacy with emotional intimacy."
She felt as if she had been punched. She stood, gaping at him, for several loud heartbeats before she was able to respond. "You bloody bastard!" she hissed.
"I never pretended to be anything but, my dear. You knew that when you agreed to this marriage," he said with a sneer. Gone was the man who had held her so tenderly – the cold bastard was back. With a vengeance. She had the urge to rake him with her nails, to bite him, to hex him, to do something… anything… to make that cold mask go away. Her own rage and hurt were swirling in her so violently that, even if he was in the same state, she wouldn't feel anything through the bond… she wouldn't be able to differentiate their emotions, to separate them into the component parts…
He backed away from her suddenly, perhaps feeling some of her bloodlust through the bond. With a great effort, she clenched her eyes shut and concentrated on calming herself. Finally, she opened her eyes and, in a low voice, said, "I had no choice, Severus. I may have known you were a bastard, but I still had no choice."
Wordlessly he stared at her. Then, turning on his heel, he left their chambers. She heard the door to the corridor slam shut as she sunk to the floor with her face in her hands.
She was seated on the couch, staring blankly at the fire, when he returned from the meeting. Two hours had given her time to calm down, and think over what had been said. When she heard him enter the study, she raised her head. "I'm… I'm sorry, Severus. I shouldn't have called you a bastard. I do apprec-"
"It matters little," he said curtly. The tone of his voice brought the anger and hurt back instantly. She stood and faced him.
"It matters little? It matters little? You… so you don't care that I think… that I called you a bastard? Or…" Her eyes narrowed. "Or is it that you don't care about me at all, other than as a pawn to raise you higher in the ranks? I thought you did, but the way you've been acting lately I'm not so sure!"
"This is not the time for this type of discussion, Hermione." Again, that sharp, clipped tone.
"It's the perfect time!" she shouted. His eyes blazed at her… finally, finally she had broken through that cold mask.
"There is a war going on, Hermione, while you sit here and worry about playing house!"
She gasped, stung. "Worry about playing house? Playing house? Is that what this is to you, Severus? Is that what I am to you? A game? Something to play with, to manipulate, to poke and prod at, just to watch how I react? Some… some experiment in domestic life? Damn it, Severus… so you… so I don't matter to you at all?" His face remained impassive. She hugged her arms across her chest, and closed her eyes, trying to keep from breaking down. "That's it, isn't it? I don't matter to you." Suddenly, she felt a flare of emotion well up that she knew wasn't hers… it had to be coming from the bond… from Severus. Her eyes popped open and she looked at him in surprise.
"You think you don't… damn it, woman, what do you want me to say?" He was yelling, his eyes fiercely black in the firelight. "Do you want me to say that I can't live without you, that I want to stay married to you, that I can't imagine being without you, that as I sit in meetings all I can do is wonder how long it will be before I can talk to you, touch you… you want to hear how I admire your courage, your tenaciousness, how you're everything I want in…" He stopped suddenly and grabbed his left arm, wincing slightly as he stared at her. Hermione swallowed, her eyes trapped in his gaze, as his voice lowered to a scathing whisper. "How I'm utterly terrified, as I've never been terrified in my life, of something happening to you? That I love you? Is that what you want to hear?"
She shook her head, her chest tight. And she had thought his words from earlier had wounded her… she hadn't known, then, the true meaning of wounding… her heart stopped and tears sprang to her eyes. Determined to keep him from seeing it, she turned away and said, in a voice too thick with tears to do more than whisper, "Only if it was the truth, you bastard. Only if it's the truth."
Through her pain, she felt a strange emotion coming from the bond… that same mysterious one she had felt so many times before. She could hear the soft rustle of his robes as he moved and she clenched her eyes shut, bowing her head, waiting for the slam of the door.
The slam that never came.
Instead, she felt the barest whisper of pressure on her hair, and then she heard the barest whisper in her ear…
"It is."
Two words had never meant more… her heart began to beat again even as she froze for a moment. It is. She whirled around, but he had already backed away. He turned on his heel and strode purposefully to their bedchamber.
When she reached the doorway, he was at the wardrobe, quickly pulling out his Death Eater robes. She swallowed hard when she remembered the way he had grabbed his left arm as they spoke. No, no, not now… not right now… "I'm being Summoned."
She stepped forward, intending to embrace him as had become their custom, but the strange, forbidding look on his face stopped her in her tracks. "Alert Dumbledore." She nodded wordlessly, unsure how to respond to this strange mood. Running hot and then cold, indeed, she thought. He stalked to the small table next to the bed and retrieved the Portkeys.
Unable to hold back any longer, she went to him and embraced him. He held her tightly, and she could feel that emotion, the emotion that – until now – had been nameless, flowing through the bond. "Be careful, Hermione." With that, he released her and spoke the word to activate the Portkey.
And then he was gone.
A whisper broke the stillness. "Be careful, Severus."
A/N: Whew. Longer than I expected… once again ;). But the story needed a few scenes that I hadn't originally planned, and a couple of them appear here. I hope it didn't throw the pacing of the chapter off too much. But, it's late and I'm tired and I've read through it a couple of times… if you spot any errors, please don't hesitate to let me know!!! And please please review to let me know what you think.
Thanks so much to everyone for their reviews of the last chapter! The action scene was great fun to write and I'm glad so many of you thought it came out all right. I did go back and fix the typos – Hermione drinking from a ship was a rather amusing one – but let me know if you notice more.