"Rules of Engagement" - Act One
THE LOBBY OF THE DRAGONFLY INN
MICHEL is sitting on an armchair, looking like he would rather be anywhere else, and the camera pans left to reveal the person he is listening to...JASON, sitting in an adjacent armchair.
JASON: ...so that's why I joined with Richard and left my dad's firm. I would rather let wolves eat me alive than end up like Floyd Stiles. [he is obviously drunk as he pours the last of a bottle of red wine into a glass]
MICHEL: [under his breath] Right now, I would enjoy that.
JASON: What did you say?
MICHEL: [in a slightly louder voice] I sincerely doubt that.
JASON: What Lorelai and I had...I mean, what we have is so rare, so pure...I couldn't just let her go...
MICHEL: [under his breath] Well, I can see why she let you go...
JASON: ...I'm not going to let what happened between me and Richard get in the way. I just...I just have to remind her of what made us so special. She – she just can't give up on us like this. I've never felt this way about anyone before. Hey Michel, are you sure you don't know where she is?
MICHEL: [under his breath] A better place than here...
JASON: What? I'm sorry, I didn't hear that.
MICHEL: Nothing. I told you many times, I do not know where Lorelai is right now. Now, if you will excuse me, I am very tired and I want to go to bed, so I need to ask you where your keys...
JASON: No...please don't go. This is...this is the best conversation I've had in a while.
MICHEL: How very sad. [sees someone enter the lobby and his eyes light up]
The camera pans to LUKE, who looks winded and exhausted.
MICHEL: [stands up] Luke! I am so happy to see you.
LUKE: You are? [he then notices Jason] You. What are you doing here?
JASON: You don't remember me, Luke? It's Jason, Jason Stiles. We – we spoke earlier? You were happy for me and Lorelai?
LUKE: [looking at him with growing disgust] You're drunk. [notices Michel slinking away] Hey, where do you think you're going?
MICHEL: Lorelai made me promise that I would not leave him alone until she got back. She was afraid that he would try to drive intoxicated. But now that you're here, I can go to sleep.
LUKE: No way. You're not leaving me alone with him!
MICHEL: But I am tired!
LUKE: So am I!
MICHEL: [in an undertone] I beg you, please, don't let me spend another moment with him. You don't have to converse with him, just don't let him drive.
LUKE: Why couldn't you just hide his keys?
MICHEL: I don't know where they are. [he leaves]
LUKE: [under his breath] Unbelievable. [he crosses his arms as he sits reluctantly where Michel was sitting]
JASON: [shaking his wine bottle] Do you know where I can find some more?
LUKE: [takes the wine bottle away] You don't need anymore.
JASON: Are you mad at me?
LUKE: And why would I be mad at you?
JASON: Your tone of voice. But you said you were happy for me before, didn't you?
LUKE: Uh, I guess so.
JASON: So do you take that back?
LUKE: Take back what?
JASON: That you're happy for me? For me and Lorelai? [pausing to let Luke respond; he does not] Why aren't you answering me?
LUKE: I am not having this conversation with you right now.
JASON: Why not?
LUKE: Well, for starters, you're drunk. And another thing, you ask too many questions.
JASON: I do?
LUKE: See what I mean.
JASON: Okay, m-maybe you're right, but let me ask you just one last question. [Luke groans] Do you know where Lorelai is?
LUKE: No idea. She didn't tell you where she went?
JASON: No.
LUKE: Good.
JASON: Why good?
Luke does not respond. Suddenly, from outside, the sound of Kirk's yells punctuate the silence.
LUKE: Oh man... [he buries his face in his hands, and a moment later he looks up as if he's just come up with a plan] Jason, where are your car keys?
JASON: My car keys? Why?
LUKE: I need to make sure you don't drive...and I need to track down Kirk.
JASON: I hardly know you...but...since you're a friend of Lorelai's... [he pulls them out of his pocket and hands them to Luke]
LUKE: If Lorelai gets back before I do, tell her I'll be right back, and that I have your car keys. Do you think you can remember that?
JASON: [nods slowly] Okay. But first, could you tell me where the wine cellar is?
Luke leaves without another word and the scene ends.
DRIVEWAY OF THE GILMORE HOUSE
LORELAI is carrying several shopping bags of items as the camera pans out to reveal RORY in the driver's seat, leaning out her window with a concerned expression on her face as she watches Lorelai. Lorelai loads the bags into the trunk and is about to slam the trunk shut, but she stops herself.
LORELAI: Wait, I forgot something else. [she runs back to the house]
Rory sighs and crosses her arms, leaning back in her seat. She is impatient to go. Lorelai comes out with a plastic bag, runs toward the car but stops a few feet from the car, makes an about-face and runs back into the house.
RORY: [quietly to herself] She is trying to kill me. Slowly.
LORELAI: [rushing back out the door and closing it] There, that should be it. [she carries a cardboard box and the plastic bag and dumps them in the trunk, slamming it shut]
After Lorelai gets into the passenger seat and shuts her door, Rory starts the car, and proceeds to drive, looking straight ahead. Lorelai looks out her passenger window. As they pass by the town square, they continue to travel in silence. The radio isn't even on.
RORY: Are you sure you've got everything this time?
LORELAI: Yes. I double-checked this time. Let's try to get back before sunrise.
RORY: As long as you haven't forgotten anything else, we will.
Another silent pause.
RORY: Okay. How long is this going to go on?
LORELAI: [she doesn't turn around, continuing to look out the window] What are you talking about?
RORY: The awkward silent pauses, the abnormally short sentences coming from you. I mean, aren't I supposed to be the one giving the silent treatment? [she pulls the car over and cuts the engine]
LORELAI: What are you doing? Dragonfly? Before sunrise?
RORY: [pulling Lorelai's shoulders to face her] Mom, look at me. I'm going to be okay.
LORELAI: [finally making eye contact, her eyes wet with tears] You didn't seem okay an hour ago when you were crying your heart out on my shoulder.
RORY: That's because I called Dean's cell phone and...Lindsay answered.
LORELAI: Why didn't you tell me?
RORY: I don't know. And no, Mom, I don't know what I'm going to do yet, just please don't ask me. I just – I just want to get back to the Dragonfly and help you finish the test run.
LORELAI: Hon, you don't have to do that...
RORY: I want to, okay? [she is on the verge of tears]
Lorelai embraces her.
LORELAI: You can still talk to me you know. No matter what happens, you know that I love you and will be there for you, no matter what, right?
RORY: I know, Mom. I love you too. [they embrace for a few more moments, then Rory pulls out, quickly wiping stray tears from her face] Okay...let's get this show on the road. [she starts the engine]
Suddenly, something catches Lorelai's eye.
LORELAI: Rory, wait.
RORY: What did you forget this time? Do I need to turn around?
LORELAI: [pointing] No, look, it's Luke...and Kirk, I think.
Rory turns off the engine, and Lorelai gets out to meet Luke, who is wrapping a blanket around KIRK, who is lying unconscious on the ground.
LORELAI: Hey Luke, I see you caught up with him...again. Is he going to be okay? Do we need to take him to the hospital this time?
LUKE: I don't think so. He just passed out, but he'll be fine. This time, I brought a blanket, you know, to keep him from any more embarrassment.
LORELAI: Oh Luke, you're all heart. So...please tell me that this ongoing streak-fest wasn't a critique of the Dragonfly's service? 'Cause if it is, I blame Michel.
LUKE: No, it's all Kirk. I'll explain later, I promise. [Handing her Kirk's pillow] Here.
Lorelai holds the pillow on its edge at a distance.
LORELAI: Uh, if this is the same pillow, I know where it's been. [Opens the back door of the car for Luke and throws it in]
Luke carries Kirk into the car, gets in next to him and shuts the door. Lorelai gets into the passenger seat and also shuts the door.
LUKE: Hi Rory.
RORY: Hi Luke. Is Kirk all right? [She starts the car up again]
LUKE: He will be. You guys headed back to the Dragonfly?
RORY: Uh-huh. It's a good thing we kept forgetting stuff and driving back, or we wouldn't have seen you.
LORELAI: Well, if you'd only gotten ten hours of sleep in the last week, you'd forget a lot of stuff too.
RORY: So...you weren't kidding about naked Kirk.
LORELAI: Nope. And we're talking multiple episodes. [She turns around to face Luke] Are you okay?
LUKE: As soon as I put Kirk back in his room, I'll be okay. I thought he'd be safe in the barn. Thought I convinced him it was a safehouse...
LORELAI: How do you know that he won't just get up and do this again?
LUKE: I don't. But do you have any better ideas of where to bring him?
LORELAI: A psych ward, maybe?
LUKE: If this happens...again...I'll personally make sure he gets professional help. Jeez, when he told me about his 'night terrors' I didn't think that it would be this bad.
LORELAI: Aw, Kirk confides in you? Are you guys best buddies now?
LUKE: No. And don't give him any ideas, he could be listening.
LORELAI: [turns back to face the dashboard] But this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship...just think, Rory, Luke and Kirk could be the next Abbott and Costello.
RORY: Or Laurel and Hardy. Gilligan and the Skipper!
LORELAI: Oh yeah! I could totally picture Luke calling Kirk "little buddy." Or what about Bodhi and Utah?
RORY: Totally, dude.
A silent pause.
LORELAI: Well, aren't you going to ask who they are? Unless you already know who they are...
LUKE: I don't want to know.
LORELAI: Or maybe you do know who they are...but don't want to admit it. Point Break? Patrick Swayze and Keanu Reeves? All you and Kirk need are a pair of surfboards...oh, it's uncanny.
LUKE: Are we there yet?
Fade out to the sun just rising over Stars Hollow.
GILMORE HOUSE. EARLY MORNING.
The song, "The Scientist" by Coldplay, begins to play.
Dean is outside the house, looking through Rory's bedroom window.
Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
The room of course is empty and his eyes linger on the unkempt bed. He takes out his cell phone, but rethinks making a call, and puts it back in his pocket.
I had to find you, tell you I need you
Tell I set you apart
He walks away from the house toward the town square. The streets are relatively empty this early on a Sunday.
Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions
Oh let's go back to the start
Running in circles, coming up tails
Heads on a silence apart
As the song continues to play, he is at the entrance to Stars Hollow High and he flashes back to the moment when he and Rory first met. As the scene closes, he walks to the town square and flashes back to his wedding day.
Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start...
Dean goes and sits on the bus stop bench where he used to meet Rory when she came back from Chilton. He then gets up and walks away.
Fade out to black...