"Rules of Engagement" - Act Two
THE DRAGONFLY INN KITCHEN. EARLY MORNING.
Lorelai is pouring herself a cup of coffee.
LORELAI: You want some? [Takes a sip.] Hello, we're in bizarro world...I'm offering you a cup this time. And I think you're actually going to drink some.
Camera pans to Luke. He nods and Lorelai puts down her cup to pour him one.
LUKE: After last night, I need to. [He smiles gratefully at her as he takes the cup of coffee from her.] What a kooky night...in more ways than one.
LORELAI: Don't let me stop you from counting the ways of kookiness.
LUKE: [Taking a sip of coffee] Oh, let's see...Kirk streaking the town...twice...
LORELAI: ...and Taylor getting arrested for disturbing the peace...
LUKE: ...even though he called the police to arrest Kirk for indecent exposure. He shouldn't have put up such a fight, [putting down his coffee and shaking his head in disbelief] kicking the squad car...
LORELAI: [with a knowing glance] Hey, does he know about...
LUKE: I don't even want to go there. I did stop kicking the car when the police came, you know.
LORELAI: Oh, and who could forget the ice cream social in the dining hall at 2am that was supposed to be at 2pm today? I still don't know who's responsible for that.
LUKE: And the horses getting loose...
LORELAI: They were spooked out by Kirk and Taylor. Hmm...Kirk and Taylor...they should take that on the road. [A sudden grin on her face] But you've forgotten the very best moment.
LUKE: [blushing and suddenly nervous] Yeah?
LORELAI: Luke, you're blushing!
LUKE: No I'm not.
LORELAI: Uh, yeah, you are. But I guess it is a little embarrassing.
LUKE: What do you mean?
LORELAI: Me kicking serious butt for you.
LUKE: Oh, that. I never imagined I would have to pull you out of a fight.
LORELAI: I have never seen Jason look so scared of me. Those self-defense classes really came in handy.
LUKE: You kinda scared me too. Didn't know you had a mean right hook.
LORELAI: Well, I was defending your honor...
LUKE: But I didn't ask you to. I mean, yeah, he was trying to pick a fight with me. But I was trying to be civilized and...
LORELAI: I know, but he wasn't. He was insulting us both, especially you, and not doing a very good job of it. What did he call you?
LUKE: I don't remember and I don't care.
LORELAI: Wait, what was it? Oh...he called you a palooka! Luke the Palooka!
LUKE: Oh, thank you so much for reminding me.
LORELAI: Hey, but he was the one acting like a palooka! Looking back now, I guess I shouldn't have lost my temper, 'cause now, he may just sue me too.
LUKE: I wouldn't worry about it too much. You even made sure he sobered up before driving home. No criminal intent there.
LORELAI: I may have been mad at him last night, but never insane-mad.
LUKE: Besides, guys don't normally sue women for hitting them.
LORELAI: Unless you're David Gest.
LUKE: Well then, watch out.
LORELAI: But Luke, seriously, the very very best moment...the one you were actually blushing about... [coming closer to him, her expression a combination of mischief and gravity as she takes his coffee cup from him and puts it down]
Luke is speechless, but he doesn't move away.
LUKE: Oh...that moment. [he pulls her closer, close enough to kiss as her arms also wrap around his waist] Don't take this the wrong way, but this is, you know...weird. But in a good way.
LORELAI: Yes, a good weird way. But the question is...are we ready for Stars Hollow...or should I say, is Stars Hollow ready for us?
LUKE: Oh yeah. That. [They pull apart.] What about Rory...is she going to be okay about this?
LORELAI: I kind of sort of already brought it up to her. And she seems fine about it. She did bring up the whole "living in a fish bowl" situation that we're facing.
LUKE: [with a sigh of relief] As long as Rory's okay with it, I don't care what anybody else thinks.
LORELAI: How noble of you. But I think we're going to have to care when the entire town starts to shadow us, hound our heels...
LUKE: But what choice do we have? Remember, we live in Stars Hollow.
LORELAI: We need to have a game plan, set down some rules of engagement, devise some strategy...
LUKE: You're making this sound like a battle. This isn't war.
LORELAI: I beg to differ. It will be a war. Don't you see? We've got to set our boundaries, let them know who's boss.
LUKE: [chuckles] We're screwed.
LORELAI: Oh, ye of little faith! The lynch pin in all this is Miss Patty and Babette. If we...
Luke kisses her to stop her from saying anything else. When they finally break apart, Luke smiles at her and she smiles back, blushing, awkwardly meeting his gaze.
LORELAI: You look really nice when you smile, you know that? I'm going to have to get used to this smiling thing. And this kissing... [they are about to kiss again]
A crash interrupts them and they immediately split apart.
LORELAI: As for this interrupting thing...I don't think I can take it anymore...
SOOKIE: [rushing in] Oh good, you're here. I got Michel to pick up the dairy order, but he spilled some of the milk bringing it in and slipped. Now everything's all over the lobby floor.
LORELAI: Why didn't he come in through the kitchen door?
SOOKIE: [shrugs her shoulders] I don't know.
MICHEL: [off-camera] Sookie! Come back here!
SOOKIE: [notices Luke for the first time] Oh hey Luke, could you give us a hand?
LORELAI: No, Sookie. Luke is one of our guests this weekend. I'll go...
LUKE: It's all right, Lorelai, I can help.
LORELAI: No, Luke, you're one of the investors...we're here to impress you, not press you into service...
LUKE: Didn't you say you just lost most of your kitchen staff last night?
LORELAI: Yeah, but...
LUKE: It's okay. Really. You need my help. [He touches her shoulder briefly before leaving the kitchen]
LORELAI: [calls after him] I – I'll make it up to you, I promise.
LUKE: [off-camera] I'll hold you to that.
SOOKIE: [smiling slyly] So, Lorelai, spill.
LORELAI: Uh, I think Michel's done enough spilling for the Dragonfly today. Ha! [mimes a drum roll]
SOOKIE: There is no way you're getting out of this one.
LORELAI: Spilling. Get it?
SOOKIE: [ignoring this] Lorelai, I just talked to Shel and he told me something very interesting about you and Luke. Also, you are totally blushing, and I do believe I saw Luke blushing...
LORELAI: [stammering] B-blushing? Me? [nervous smile] Sook, I – I can't believe you tried to set me up with Shel, the poultry guy. You're almost as bad as my mother at matchmaking. See, there was this one time...
SOOKIE: Changing the subject, are we? Come on Lorelai, what is going on between you and Luke? Shel said you called him your "special friend"...
LORELAI: Well...we are friends, you know that! But Sookie, seriously, don't tell me that you actually thought Shel was my type! Did you not sense the lack of chemistry between us? I mean, come on...
SOOKIE: You were going on and on about cats and being single again, so I thought you could use a date. I wasn't planning your wedding to him or anything.
LORELAI: Okay, maybe I was playing up the desperation too much. I happen to have a lot of things on my mind. Like m-making sure this test run runs smoothly...or should I say, more smoothly than it has been. And – and right now, we've got breakfast to serve in, oh... [looks at kitchen clock] less than two hours. Great...[She walks toward the kitchen door]
SOOKIE: Hey, you're wearing the same clothes from last night! And so is Luke! Lorelai!
LORELAI: [Yawning, looking through the kitchen door window and ignoring Sookie] But you know what they say about a bad dress rehearsal, right? That means our opening is going to rock! Oh look, the bakery delivery truck's here. I'll be right back. [She exits]
SOOKIE: [shouting after her] Lorelai, this conversation isn't over yet!
IN A ROOM AT THE DRAGONFLY.
Rory is sitting next to a window, reading a book, Waiting by Ha Jin, but not really reading it, as her gaze keeps wandering to the window. Lorelai is fast asleep in a nearby bed, snoring. Her cell phone rings, and when Rory sees who it is, she rushes into the bathroom.
[The following conversation cuts back and forth between the bathroom and Dean in his apartment]
RORY: Hello?
DEAN: Hi Rory. Did you get my message?
RORY: No. I just turned on my phone.
DEAN: Oh. Look, I – I'm sorry I missed your call. I left my cell phone...
RORY: ...at your apartment. I know. I tried to call you and...Lindsay answered. Don't worry, I hung up.
DEAN: Rory, she knows.
RORY: No, she couldn't know. I hung up when I heard her voice. I said nothing.
DEAN: But she saw the caller ID.
RORY: Oh.
DEAN: She knows about what happened.
RORY: You – you told her?
DEAN: She figured it out. And I couldn't lie to her.
RORY: [sighs nervously as she sits down on the closed toilet seat] Oh my God, Dean. What did she say?
DEAN: Not much. Rory, I need to see you. [silent pause] Rory, are you there?
RORY: Dean, I don't think that's a good idea.
DEAN: Rory...
RORY: Wait, listen to me. I – I don't think it's a good idea for us to see each other right now. You need to...you need to sort things out with Lindsay before we can...
DEAN: What are you saying? Are you saying last night was a mistake? Have you changed your mind about us?
RORY: N – no. We just need to be careful about what happens next. I love you, Dean, I do. [she starts to cry] But you're married to someone else. There can't be an "us" – not right now. If Lindsay knows, we absolutely can't be seen together. And actually, there's a way for that to happen.
DEAN: Rory...
RORY: Listen, I'm not going to be around this summer...
DEAN: I thought you were going to get a job. What are you talking about?
RORY: My grandmother invited me to go on a trip with her. To Europe. She really needs me right now...she just separated from my grandfather...and I...I've never seen her like this before. This will give you a chance to...to figure out what you're going to do.
DEAN: I don't need to figure anything out. I told you last night...I can't make it work with Lindsay. I want to be with you...it's always been you, Rory. And now you're telling me you're going to leave Stars Hollow for the summer? Why are you running away from me?
RORY: I'm not running away, Dean. Haven't you been listening to me? You know how much my grandparents mean to me. It's killing me to see them this way, and I think this trip will really be good for both my grandmother and me. I'm also giving you time to end things with Lindsay. You know that I can't be with you until that happens. Don't you understand? [silent pause] Dean?
DEAN: I didn't know about your grandparents. I'm really sorry.
RORY: Thank you.
DEAN: I-I don't want to see you go. But – but I understand why you have to and I know I have no right to stop you. Just – just can we talk in person? Tonight?
RORY: Dean, I...
DEAN: I just want to wish you a safe trip in person, okay? That's all I ask. Just promise...
There's a beep on Rory's phone and she sees that Lane is calling her on her caller ID.
RORY: All right. But it's not like I'm leaving tomorrow. I – I have to go, Lane's calling me. Bye, Dean.
DEAN: Bye, Rory. I'll call you later. [he hangs up]
The camera pans closer to Rory, who is wiping tears from her face.
RORY: [regaining her composure as she beeps her phone to Lane's call] Hello?
LANE: [on the phone] Hi Rory. Sorry I didn't get to call you back last night.
RORY: Oh, it's all right...it – it was busy here. Actually, I'm glad you called...
Lane is walking through the town square.
LANE: [interrupting] I'm calling because I need to talk to Luke. I'm on the way to the diner right now, but Cesar just called me and told me it's getting crazy there. I tried calling the Dragonfly, but Michel wouldn't let me talk to him. Said he was under strict orders not to disturb him.
RORY: Oh, that was my mom. He didn't get any sleep last night, and she wanted to make sure he got some this morning.
LANE: Oh really? Hold on, is there something going on between Luke and your mom that you haven't told me about yet?
RORY: It's complicated. And Lane, it's not exactly what you're thinking...uh, I'll explain later. Okay, so do you want me to go wake Luke up?
LANE: Could you? Tell him I wouldn't have called if we didn't really need him.
RORY: I'll go and knock on his door right now. But I can't promise that he'll hear me.
LANE: You're a lifesaver! Thanks!
Rory sighs heavily and is visibly disappointed that she didn't get to speak with Lane at greater length, and as she beeps her phone off, the scene ends.