I'M BACK! From camp. It was torture... sheer torture. They made us trek for 7 hours with our heavy backpacks in the jungle!!! Then the next day made us go on an 8-hour kayak trip around the island!!! drops dead Well, before that, I'm gonna give you a REEEEEALLY long post! For my lack of postage from the last 5 days. I'm sorta disappointed only 2 people reviewed... but I think there are others reading and not reviewing (I hope). If you don't have an account or don't like to review here, drop me an owl! It'll mean a lot. ariesgirl89hotmail.com

Chapter 18

I blinked in the bright light. I wanted to raise my hand but someone was holding on to it. I felt a strong urge to withdraw it, but couldn't muster enough energy to. There were soft silken sheets around me, the feather pillow was heavenly soft and comfortable. My vision was blurred, there were people talking around me but it made no sense.

Soon everything came into focus and I saw the shape of someone by my bed.

"Father?" I asked croakily, squinting at him.

"I'm here... I'm here," he muttered almost illegibly. He gripped my hand tight in his hand. I have never been so happy to see him again. I sat up and pulled him closer to a hug. I could feel the stiffness of his body as if he had forgotten how to do it but then he wrapped his arms around me.

"I love you, father," I whispered.

There was a pause.

"You should rest..." He said quietly and we broke off.

I rested my head on the soft pillows and sighed. I looked around my room, everything was exactly the same. I missed it. My head felt heavy and drowsy but I willed myself to stay awake. I still had questions unanswered.

"Father..."

"Mm?"

"He said you were a Death Eater," I said quietly, not looking into his eyes. I fiddled with the heavy maroon comforter and the white sheets under them. "He was lying right... tell me he was lying..." I said pleadingly.

"It's not something I'm very proud of..." He muttered after a while, looking older than ever. He too looked down.

"But..."

"I was young. I was foolish. I became a Death Eater around my early twenties," he said quietly. "I was with your mother then. She didn't know anything about it."

I looked up at him intently. He seemed to have a hard time trying to find the right words.

"When we got married...and, had you... You were only a year old then. She found out, your mother. She found out and she left me. I- I was distraught. She left me alone to take care of you. I was alone with a child. I was afraid. So, I swore to myself to turn over a new leaf. But once you become a Death Eater, it's for life..."

"I sought help from Professor Dumbledore. He believed in me... he always have. My father, your grandfather, he was the owner of Nimbus then... he had always hoped that he could hand the business down to me... I was his only heir. He had lost all faith... and trust. But when he died without pronouncing another heir to the company... it was presented to me. It has been that way, our tradition, that the company be passed down from one generation to another. It was my opportunity to start afresh... I worked hard. And it was difficult... for a single father. Without a woman by my side... Look at me now, Reine."

"But You-Know-Who says he was going to kill you..." I said bitterly.

"That's why I will begin to put protective charms on the house. Unplottable charms, Fidelius charms... Dumbledore has agreed to be our secret keeper. And I must ask of you, Reine, to not go out anymore. You can ride Sapphire around the grounds, but not over the boundaries."

I nodded.

"Don't you have to go to Japan or something?" I asked.

He chortled quietly. "One thing I've learnt over the days is that nothing in this world is more important than you."

I smiled. He had no idea how much those words meant to me.

"Where are Sirius and James?" I asked.

"You're getting along fine with James, I hope?"

"Yeah..."

"He's a fine boy," he said, looking deep into my eyes. "He'll take good care of you, y'know..."

I furrowed my eyebrows at him. He nodded to himself.

"They're in their rooms I think, let me go call them," he said, getting to his feet. "Rest."

He exited the room and I closed my eyes and sighed. I drifted in and out of sleep, awaking abruptly every time my eyelids drooped. But I wanted to see them, to thank them.

"Reine?"

I turned my head and spotted Sirius hesitating at the door with James close at his heels. My face broke into a smile.

"Hey," I urged, grinning.

Sirius sat in the chair my father had left and James dragged the dressing table stool closer to the bed.

"How are you?" Sirius and I said in unison. I laughed quietly and he grinned.

"I'm okay...," I said softly. "How's your cut?"

"Oh, we fixed it almost instantly," he said nodding, looking straight at me with those dark eyes. I've always been uncomfortable when someone locks their eyes with mine for a long time... It seems weird. It's like they're searching into your very soul, looking for a sign, reading your mind. I looked away... towards James.

Sirius slowly placed his hand on to of mine and like an uncontrollable reaction, I withdrew it and held it protectively in my other hand. His confused or alarmed gaze, I couldn't tell, darted from my face to James'. I didn't know why I did it. I just did not feel comfortable anymore... with anything.

"Thank you so much..." I said sincerely, trying to break the deathly silence.

"It was the natural thing to do," whispered Sirius, still fixing me with that unblinking gaze.

"It was very brave of you."

"We're Gryffindors," said James, laughing slightly.

"Our fathers didn't really know we went..." admitted Sirius. "We got a big telling off the night we got back."

I felt embarrassed. After all they've done to save me, they got scolded by our fathers? Why didn't they understand?

"What's Hogwarts like?" I asked, eager to change the subject.

"Well, it's a place where you just have to see to believe," said Sirius simply, nodding his head slightly.

I managed a weak laugh, but my chest hurt and I stopped.

"Well!" said James energetically. "I really have to... butter my...er... broomstick! So see you guys later!"

He got up from his seat and strode swiftly out the door.

"Why does he need to butter his broomstick for?" I asked quizzically.

"He always does that... daily. It makes his broom smooth," explained Sirius.

"Okay..." I said unconvinced, looking away.

Once again, I felt Sirius' fingertips touch my hand, and again I withdrew it like I was shocked by electricity. He looked at me with furrowed eyebrows, his eyes again piercing into my soul, digging out answers.

"Are you okay?" He asked slowly.

"I'm fine now."

"You can talk to me..."

"I'm fine," I insisted.

I didn't want him to find out. He should never find out. No one should ever know. Never.

He did it again. Swifter this time. He took hold of my hand and I flinched, screaming at the top of my lungs. I turned away from him, reminded horribly of that incident. Tears collected in the brims of my eyes and trickled down my cheeks. He held it tight as his eyes again bore into my soul.

"Why..." I sobbed as tears fell upon my bed sheets.

"Why what?" he asked, and for the first time, he was truly serious.

"Just go away, please," I begged, slipping my arm from his grip and cradling it closely to myself.

"Reine..." he pleaded. But no, he wasn't going to get anything out from me. Nobody must know.

"You can tell me what happened..." he said again, in a low voice.

"Nothing happened okay?" I snarled as salty tears wetted my lips. "Nothing!"

Sirius left quickly after that. I felt bad acting the way I did. I knew I owe him so much. Something no amount of galleons can ever pay back. But I now felt as if no man could be trusted. I lay there sobbing for a long time before one of the elves came in to bring me some food.

A few days later, I was up and about again. I tried my best to put all of it behind. But it was like a dark stain on silk. Things gradually got better between me, Sirius and James. The awkwardness has faded a little and everything was almost back to normal. Almost.