A Shot at Normalcy: University Life

Disclaimer: - How many times exactly do u need me to say that I do not own Gundam Wing?

For everyone who is still keeping up with this fic of mine:

           Thank you. Thank you…for all who reviewed. It helped me greatly and this is the chapter and I mean *the* chapter. All your questions will be answered (or atleast most of them). So keep reading and yeah you can curse too if you like. Thanks again to all those who reviewed. It helped me a lot ^_^

          Btw…this fic might contain limey stuff in the future but no lemons. So don't even bother asking.

Warning: I've made references to the "F" word and aggravated sexual assault in this chapter.

Chapter 19:  Revealed Secrets

Last chappie:

            "They found one of the missing girls," Heero told Trowa.

            "Dead or alive?"

            "Barely alive. She seems traumatised."

            "Did they identify her?"

            "Yes, they identified her as Middi Une."

            'Middi Une…'

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            'Middi Une…She was here…and she was kidnapped?'

            A part of him didn't want to believe what he heard while the other part of him wanted to see her badly. They had not parted on friendly terms. He was not even sure if she would remember him or not. He followed Heero to the Hospital building.

Jade followed them too. She too had a frown etched on her face. They entered the room in which Middi was kept. She was sleeping or so it seemed.

            Heero conversed with the nurse in whispers. Trowa just stood there looking at Middi. Jade went and stood by the window. The blinds were closed. She parted them a bit so that she could see outside, but did not open them fully. She thought she saw something in the bushes and did a double take…nothing. She dismissed it as a figment of her imagination, but something kept telling her it was not. She stood there, looking at the spot for sometime and then decided to join Trowa. Heero was still talking with the nurse.

            Jade walked towards the bed and looked down at the patient. Trowa was standing where he was and was looking down at Middi, the expression on his face never changing. She looked the same, the last time that he had seen her, for the most part, more womanly, a slightly longer face and longer hair, other than that, she still looked the same. It is a wonder how he could remember her after all these years. Had he ever really forgotten her in the first place? She was his first friend, a friend who betrayed him.

            Heero walked back to them. He put his hand on Trowa's shoulder. That brought him back to reality.

            "The nurse says she went to sleep just a while back. I gave her my contact number, she will call when Middi wakes up."

            Trowa just nodded and Jade said something that sounded like "okay"

            All three of them left.

            "We have to be at the psychology lecture in about 15 minutes," Jade told Trowa. She could sense that he was troubled. He looked up at her and nodded his response. They walked in silence till they reached their classroom. Nothing said between the two. Each of them was thinking their own thoughts. When they reached the classroom, Quatre was already there. 

            "Zechs told me what happened," Quatre said to the two of them.

            "Yeah," was Jade's only reply, while Trowa said nothing, but went and sat down in his seat. His mind was still in turmoil. So was Jade's but she was thinking about something else.

             The lecture was pretty uneventful. Everyone did what they were supposed to do. The three of them left the classroom together. Each in their own thoughts. Quatre wanted to say something but decided it was best not to say it, as both Trowa and Jade were busy thinking something. Jade was just confused and slightly troubled, Trowa seemed…pained.

            "You have any more lectures that you have to attend?" Jade asked the two of them all of a sudden.

            "No"

            "No."

            "Okay, I have to go to the programming thing, so ciao," and she left. She wanted to meet Heero there. She wanted to know what exactly had happened. How and where did they find Middi? Most of all, how did they find her alive. Unless, she ran away…

            "Earth to Jade."

            "Hi, Duo. I'm thinking."

            "I heard."

            "Good for you."

            "How did you know?"

            "How do you think I knew?"

            "Heero…?"

            "Precisely, where is he now?"

            "Right behind you."

            "Oh…Heero…I wanted to talk to you," she said turning around.

            "I know…I just got a call…we can go after we get out."

            "Oh!"

            "Mind telling me what is going on?"

            "Can you stop being such an irritating pain in the ass, Duo?" Jade snapped.

            "I am not being a pain in the ass. I should know as much as you what is going on," he yelled back. " As a matter of fact," he continued, "I deserve to know more than you. You are just another commoner, you shouldn't even be involved."

            "I see," was her only reply. She said nothing else. She was completely calm. No one would have guessed that she was boiling inside. The only thing that indicated her true emotions, were her eyes. Her gaze, more penetrating than ever; hard as steel. Duo looked away.

            "I'm sorry…I shouldn't have said that," he whispered.

            "It's okay," she said, "It is probably my fault. I shouldn't have called you a pain in the ass."

            "You are still pissed," he said, looking at her again.

            "Yes…I am," she said in the same calm voice.

            "I'm sorry," he said again.

            "You already said that," she replied.

            "I know…but…"

            She just looked at him straight in the eye and he shut up. He could take Heero's death glare. But he couldn't take Jade's. Maybe because it was he had never been subjected to it before or maybe it was because she kept such a cool exterior while she was ready to kill. He didn't know what…but it bothered him.

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            Trowa headed towards the hospital building. Heero had called him. He was going to meet up with Heero, Jade and Duo at the hospital. Quatre was with him.

            "Trowa, you need to calm down," Quatre told him.

            Trowa didn't reply. He just kept walking straight ahead.

            They reached the building. The other three were already there. Wufei couldn't be there because he had to teach. Scholars with broadswords (A/N: before you say he uses a katana, read the A/N at the bottom of the page for explanation.) and Gundams, teaching students at a university…bizarre.

            They all walked up to her room together. Everyone was silent.

            When they entered her room, her eyes were closed. She opened them the moment, Trowa went and stood by her bed. She was scared for her life and started moving away from him to the other end of the bed. He just stood there and watched her look at him with fear in her eyes. She wasn't like this the last time he knew. Something must have shaken her up pretty bad if she was scared of anyone. He watched as Jade went to the other side of the bed and sat down on the side. He watched as she caught Middi before she could fall. He watched as she looked at Jade with fear and confusion in her eyes.

            "It's okay Middi…You are safe now," Jade said in a soothing voice.

            Middi at once hugged her and broke down on her shoulder. She started crying and she was trying to say something but it was all drowned by her sobs.

            "She didn't cry the last time she woke up…just stared straight ahead. She didn't even speak anything," the nurse told Heero.

            "Shh…it's all okay now…you are safe here Middi. It's okay to cry," Jade said trying to soothe her while patting Middi's back to calm her down as she would to a baby or a young child.

            "He…*sobs*…said…he *hic* *sniff*…was going to….*sobs**sobs*…kill me…*sobs*…he…raped me…*sobs*…he said…*sobs* *sobs*…he would…*sniffs*…fuck…us…till…*hic*…we…died…*sobs**hic*…till…he…got*sniffs**sobs*…her." and she broke down again.

            Jade tensed at her words as did everyone else in the room.

            "Shh...You don't have to talk about it now…" she told her

            "Who is this "her"? Where is the other girl?" Heero asked.

            "Heero this is not the time to ask her this," Quatre said. "She is highly disturbed and traumatised. We need to give her some time."

            'You still haven't changed…why are you back? Why are you torturing these poor girls?' Jade thought to herself.

            Trowa went and sat down by Middi. She moved away from him; afraid of him.

            "I am not him Middi," he said with tenderness that even he didn't know he possessed. "I'm Trowa, don't you remember me?" he asked in a whisper.

            The name seemed to remind her of something. She looked up from Jade's shoulder and looked at him. She reached out timidly and touched his bangs

            "Trowa…" she whispered and then latched on to him.

            "*sobs* keep him away from me…*hic*…He is a ….*sobs*…monster…*sobs*"

            "Shh… You are safe now," he said to her. "How did you get away?"

            She just cried.

            "Trowa, this is not the right time to ask her these questions." Jade said, with her hand on his shoulder. She then turned to Jade. "You should sleep now. You are safe here…he will not come here."

            Middi allowed herself to be guided to bed by Jade.

            "He…said…he would…come for her," she said before she drifted off to sleep.

            Jade did not doubt her words for a minute.

            "Great!" Duo mock exclaimed. "Now we have another mystery person."

            Quatre looked at Jade. Maybe the other person wasn't as mysterious as they thought.

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Later that night at Trowa's and Jade's apartment:

           

            Jade was standing by the window and Trowa was sitting on the floor, leaning against the couch.

            "You know her?" Jade asked Trowa.

            "Yes." He said, his eyes closed

            "How do you know her? From where?" Jade asked him. She had to know how he knew her. Middi was someone who had managed to escape from "him".

            He looked up at her, she was looking at him.

"How do you know him?" He asked her, His gaze matching hers.

            "Know whom?" She asked him.

            "You know very well who I am talking about," Trowa said without emotion.

            "How do you know that I know him?" Jade challenged him.

            "Lots of reasons."

            "State some." She said moving away from the window towards her room.

            Trowa got up and followed her. She had started the questioning and he did not want to let go of this opportunity to grill her. She had now closed the door.

            He waited for a while before barging in. She had changed into her pyjama bottoms. He entered before she could change her shirt.

            "Get out," She told him, half shocked at his brashness.

            He just ignored her and continued talking.

            "You were scared shitless when you heard about the kidnappings."

            "Anybody would be. Do you mind leaving for a bit?"

            "I do mind leaving and I won't look," He said.

            She decided to take his word for it. He leaned back against the wall while she took out a tank top from her closet and removed her shirt. He was looking at her through half-closed lids. She was exquisite. Perfect hourglass.

            "You said the girls weren't going to return. You knew." He said, still observing her motions like a stealthy wild cat waiting to strike.

            She seemed oblivious to the scrutiny. If she did, she showed no sign of it.

            "I had a feeling. Next."

            "You seemed very sure. And you were surprised when they found Middi."

            "Ok. Next and stop staring."

            "You don't mind…so why should I?" the answer to his question was a glare.

            She put on her shirt and now he was watching her without making any attempt to hide it. "You were scared and shocked when she said he would come back."

            This startled her. She was undoing her braid on her bed. She stood up and walked back out into the hall. He followed her.

            "So you noticed?"

            "Yes. Quatre noticed too."

            "Great!"

            "So how do you know him? Who is he?" Trowa asked her again.

            "I'll tell you, but first, you have to tell me how you know Middi," she said decisively.

            "Fine, but it's a long story."

            "Fair give and take, mister."

            She went and sat down on the couch. He went and stood by the window.

            "You can call us old acquaintances…old friends."

            "How do you know her?" Jade asked.

            "Long story short…I saved her, we became good friends as kids. She betrayed my trust."

            "Why did you save her?"

            "She asked me the same thing," he said with a hint of a smile.

            "We were the same. We lost our families in the war. Or atleast I thought so…"

            "What do you mean?"

            "Catherine is my real sister. And Middi had a father and three brothers. She betrayed me for their sake."

            "…"

            "The resistance lost because of her…I was the only one who survived."

(A/N: The flashback is a spoiler…and the whole thing is taken from . do not gimme credit)

~*~Flashback~*~

Captain: What?! They knew! That can't be!!
Trowa: Let's withdraw, Captain!!
Captain: You withdraw. I'll stop them here as best I can.
Trowa: But...
Captain: Follow your orders!
Trowa: ...Acknowledged.

~~~~`

Soldier: Sorry, Captain. We have our livelihood to think of.
Captain: You bastards... Idiots! What are you apologizing to your enemy for?
Soldier: Our contract is to kill all resistance fighters. Get ready!
Captain: Too bad you won't be able to fulfill your end of the contract. *Spewing ammunition at them. Then his gun stops firing.*
Soldier: I told you! You can't rely on those pathetic weapons the resistance loans you.
Captain: Shut up! Kill me and get it over with!!
*Trowa's Mobile Suit charges in, gun blasting. The mercenaries' Mobile Suits are blown away.*
Trowa: Come on, Captain, let's withdraw together.
Captain: ...They were the ones who raised you.
Trowa: But they betrayed us.
Captain: ...Are you thinking that they sold information?
Trowa: Didn't they?
Captain: Fool! They wouldn't do that!
Trowa: I have no regrets. I kill the enemy I see before me. I'm only practicing what they taught me.
Captain: You're... not human, are you.
Trowa: No, I'm not. I've always been a soldier.
The rebel army's surprise attack that had promised great results, ended in failure.
*Middi is serving food back at the snowy base. She ladles some out for Trowa.*
Middi: No-name, can't you look sad? You killed the men who used to be your comrades, didn't you?
Trowa: I used up all my sadness when I was a baby.
Middi: And you're going to keep on acting like this, killing your own heart, aren't you?
Trowa: *Looking at the gizmo around her neck. Thinking:* It's that, is it...?
Middi: How long do you plan to wear that mask that never cries?
Trowa: For as long as I manage to live...
Middi: *Watching him go and gripping her electronic gizmo.*
*Planes drop bombs and wreak carnage.*
It was a huge scale operation to devastate the rebel forces.
*A soldier shields his face from a blast. Middi screams.*
Trowa: Grab my hand, Middi!
*She reaches up to him, and they speed away on a motorcycle.*
Middi: I'm not going to thank you!
Trowa: Don't worry; I'm not expecting you to.
Middi: I... I have no right to live...
Trowa: ... *driving through the explosions.* neither do I.
*Enemy Mobile Suits are flying in.*
Captain: Don't retreat! Do whatever it takes to crush them!

~~~`

The captain was dead.

Trowa: *Looking over at Middi.* How much did you get?
Middi: *Looking sullen and holding her electronic gizmo.* Enough so that my three little brothers and my sick father will be able to eat for a while.
Trowa: That game around your neck is a transmitter, isn't it...? The Federation could hear every move we made.
Middi: That's right... But you're still alive. You're the only one.
Trowa: *Yanking off the cross necklace and throwing it on the ground.* Because of this?
Middi: I'll tell you. That cross is also a transmitter.
Trowa: *Pulling a gun on her.*
Middi: Even you can get angry, hm? No-name...
Middi: You once said that I was you. But really I'm completely different. I'm not happy like you.
Trowa: You're saying I'm happy?
Middi: *Taking the gizmo off.* You have freedom. You're lots happier than me.

Middi: You have nothing that can be taken away from you. No name, no past, right now, not even companions.
Middi: I have the name Middi Une. I have a sick father and three little brothers.

Middi: Because of that, I had to become a spy and cause the deaths of lots of people.
Middi: I can't even say "I love you" to the person I love! Do you understand why?!
Trowa: .....
Middi: Because I'm not empty like you! I have too much! Family! A home! The knowledge of what bad things I've done!       

Middi: That's why I hate empty people like you!
Trowa: Is that all you've got to say?
Middi: ...?!
Trowa: You're better off than me. You have somewhere to go home to.
Trowa: Goodbye, Middi.
Middi: Wait... Wait, No-name!

And he just walked away….

~*~End Flashback~*~

            He would never forget that incident.

            "Oh!" 

            "She betrayed me, but still could not forget her…no matter how much I tried…she was always there at the back of my mind. She was the first friend I ever had."

            "Oh…I'm sorry."

            "You shouldn't be…What has happened has happened, there is nothing you or me can do about it. And it is your turn to tell me how you know him."

            "He is Trevor." She said calmly.

            "The one from the orphanage?" Trowa asked. She just nodded.

            "We were very close. And by very close, I mean very, very close. I looked up to him. He was like an older brother. Duo knows. You can ask him." She seemed lost in her thoughts. Thinking of old times. He wanted to ask her so many things, but he chose not to.

            "He always looked out for me. He is five years older to me. I was his, right since the time he took me under his wing. Right since the time I was a kid. He beat up Duo once. I and Duo had gotten into a fight and Trevor said he did not want me getting hurt." She gave a sad smile.

            "And then the whole church was destroyed when Duo had gone somewhere…he told me he went to steal the Gundam.

            "Trevor and I were out playing in the park with some other kids. We ran when we saw the mobile suits come and destroy the place. Trevor wouldn't let me go back and check on the others. I still feel bad.

            "we were just another street gang. And then we were taken in by another orphanage. I went to the school there. Trevor went to the school there too. And then the girls in the girls convent went missing. Girls my age.

            "And when I told Trev about it, he just laughed. A maniacal laugh. It scared me.

            "The next day he was gone…I was scared...It wasn't like him, but the day after he was back again.

            "He hated it when I talked to boys, he would get angry. I was told again and again that I was his and that he would kill anyone who looked at me even."

            Jade seemed to be telling her story from an outsider's view. She was lost in her own thoughts. She walked to the TV rack and just stood there handling the little show-pieces that she had kept there. It was as though she was debating whether to proceed further or not. She made up her mind. Even though it was highly disturbing for her…she would proceed. A deal was a deal. She had already told him so much, why not finish the story? She started again.

            "And then one day, about four years ago, while the war was still going on, Trev came to me in the middle of the night and he said he wanted me to go somewhere with him." She shuddered. It was as though she was reliving the whole thing again. Trowa just watched her, feeling half-guilty about making her go through this

            "I followed him, I had no other choice…he took me to this place, all torn and broken down and then he forced…forced me." A tear slipped down her cheek.

            "He stole my first kiss and he told me, that he was waiting for the day I would turn into a big girl…and I was only fourteen." Another tear slipped out from beneath her eyelashes. Trowa was shocked…He made an attempt to stop her, but she continued.

            "He forced himself on me, he took my virginity," she was crying now. Full-blown crying. Trowa went up to her and stood by her. She just backed away.

            "I'm so sorry…"

            "He did it ever day…I was told again and again I was just his and that he owned me…" it looked like she could not see what was in front of her, she just lived the whole thing over again.  

            "Jade…" Trowa said trying to reach out to her. She just kept backing off, scared of him. He knew why she was scared and he felt bad. It was partly because of him.

            "Go away…stay away from me…he said I could never escape from him, that he had me for himself…"

            "Jade…stop…it's just me…"

            She ignored him.

            "But I ran away…but he always found me, and I always ran…I was devastated by two wars…not just one"

            "Jade…you don't have to…stop crying…please"

            She had backed herself into a corner

            "One outside…one inside and now he's back…he's back for me…he's obsessed with me." Her whole body was wracked with sobs and the tears were flowing freely.

            She did not notice as Trowa came to her and put his arms around her. He enveloped her in a hug and turned her around so that she was facing him. She immediately buried her head in his chest. She was still crying.

            "Keep…him away from me…"

            "Shh…It's okay now," Trowa said trying to comfort her though he knew that everything was far from okay. She was still sobbing and now he felt miserable for making her go through this. He bent his head to kiss her on the top of her head in order to comfort her. At the same moment she raised her head to look at him and their lips brushed. She was startled. He did not debate with himself this time. He captured her lips in a real kiss. She resisted. She was pushing him away for all that she was worth, but Trowa only held her tighter. She cried and he only kissed her harder, putting all his feelings for her in that single kiss. He could taste the salt on her lips. She gave in after a while and kissed him back. The intensity of her kiss itself surprised him.  She totally opened up to him.

            After a while, they broke up for air. She had stopped crying, but she was still sobbing. Her eyes, they were windows to her soul and he was drowning in their depths. She looked so vulnerable and everything in him was screaming for him to take her, but he decided against it.

            "I'm sorry…" he said and kissed her again.

            After they broke up again she asked him," What are you sorry for?"

            He himself wasn't sure what he was sorry for. Was he sorry because he kissed her without permission or was he sorry because he had put her through all that? He didn't know. Probably, for both the reasons.

            "Sorry, for everything…"He said resting his chin on her head. She was now sitting in his lap, and he still had his arms around her.

            "I'm scared."

            "I can understand." He said burying his face in her curls at the nape of her neck.

            "That is the only thing that still scares me. He said he would come back…" she said, a shiver running down her spine. She shuddered.

            Trowa felt her shiver and that sent shivers down his spine, but not the scary sort. "I'll never let him get you."

            She turned and faced him…their faces just centimetres apart.

            "Thank you…" She whispered and then she did a thing that he would not have expected her to do, she kissed him. He was shocked but the shock soon turned to bliss. He kissed her back. He ran his tongue over her lips and she moaned. That gave him a chance to slip his tongue into her mouth. She tasted … unique… intoxicating. He could get used to kissing her like that. They broke apart after what seemed like an eternity.

            She leaned against his chest and closed her eyes. He buried his face in her hair again and thought

            "I will not let him get you. Never, ever…you belong to me."

            They slept like that.

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A/N: *Phew* long chapter. I haven't written such a long chapter in ages. I know this chappie was a bit grim…a lot grim actually compared to the other ones, but hopefully it is the grimmest chapter. I dunno. I hope you people liked this chapter. And I thank all you people who reviewed. And feel free to give in your ideas.

Oh! And by the way…I will not be continuing this fic…until summer. ^__^

            Sorry, but I just have way too much stuff to do and I find it hard to come up with ideas for this fic when my life is breaking apart. I need to sort out ma life. So ttfn. Love u all.