Terazuma had a slight problem.
Oh. And he was dead. But so were all his other work colleagues so it was okay.
The problem was, he could not come into contact with members of the opposite sex. Technically he couldn't come into contact with members of the same sex which majorly resembled members of the opposite sex either.
The result of such contact was . . . well he'd rather not think about it.
This left him with only two options.
1. Live a death of loneliness and utter despair
Or
2. Get a boyfriend.
#1. Not being the most - shall we say, 'desirable' outcome for spending the rest of his after-life (i.e. eternity) he opted for #2. This choice also had the advantage that if it failed he would still end up living the aforementioned misery, so it was really no choice at all . . . just an eventuality. But we digress.
Terazuma was not a demanding man (by his own standards anyway). But regardless he didn't want just any boyfriend, he wanted the best boyfriend.
So he made a list of possible candidates (thankfully, he also wanted a convenient boyfriend, so the list was short and only involving those in the immediate vicinity).
Tatsumi.
Not bloody likely.
Terazuma had researched this whole 'boyfriend' thing in advance. Saya and Yuma had been all too happy to lend their expertise on such things, and while he may have wished they could have been less graphic in their descriptions, Terazuma had rapidly come to the conclusion he did not want to be the physically smaller partner.
Terazuma crossed Tatsumi from the list, noting in the margin 'too tall'.
At his desk Tatsumi imperceptibly relaxed as Terazuma came to some conclusion. Terazuma had stood in the open doorway staring at him for nearly ten minutes before scratching some notes in a book and slinking away with a look of resignation. Out of some innate sense of self-preservation, he had no desire to pursue the matter and returned to his work.
Watari.
It was not really coincidence that the scientist should happen to both be the next person Terazuma ran into, and incidentally the second person on his list - actually Terazuma had numbered the list based on proximity (again for convenience) and Watari's laboratory was the next nearest office. After Kanoe of course, but since nobody REALLY thinks of Kanoe as human . . . more like an evolved form of a gushoshin . . . or something, it wasn't an issue.
There was a problem with Watari too of course.
Watari was obsessed with the idea of creating a gender-changing potion. This was a problem because it was very likely he might succeed someday. It was more than possible such a potion existed since Watari had on several occasions created potions that changed age and species alike. Naturally Terazuma had no intention of seducing a man that could be a woman tomorrow. Then he'd have to start all over. Nope. He scratched the name off his list. 'Too'. . . he tapped the pen thoughtfully for a moment before scribbling 'trans-gender motivated'.
Watari, who'd been the subject of Terazuma's surprise inspection, was naturally relieved when the assessor left. Truly this required further attention. Not as much however as that beaker that was overflowing and mixing with the . . . o damn.
Terazuma hummed happily to himself as he rounded the corner to the next office, oblivious to the fact he had already eliminated over 50% of his candidates (not to mention the raging inferno and squawking birds just two doors back).
Flinging open the door he glared at Hisoka, who having no idea what was going on but convinced it was all Tsuzuki's fault (wasn't everything?) tossed up between finishing his paperwork in the staff room and watching Tsuzuki get throttled.
Who said Hisoka didn't have narcissistic tendencies?
Peering over at what Terazuma was writing however, Hisoka took exception.
'Possibly girl in disguise.' Scrawled Terazuma next to Hisoka's name.
"Hey!" Hisoka complained pouting, as Terazuma obliviously went to examine the rooms other occupant.
"What are you doing?" Demanded Hisoka, intercepting Terazuma from the sleeping Tsuzuki. Not that he was concerned his partner might wake up - he knew for a fact only two things could wake Tsuzuki from a nap and since no prurient, psychopath doctors were present and lunch was yet a good 15 minutes away . . .
"Nothing." Denied Terazuma slamming the notebook shut.
Not before Hisoka got a good look at Terazuma's plans for seduction of course . . . and being the angel of mercy that he was, he decided to use the information for his own amusement. That is to say, had this been a *cough* anime *cough*, Hisoka would have grown kawaii little bat wings, horns and pointed tail, not to mention be accessorising with a pitchfork.
Terazuma had since returned to his examination of the next candidate. This was also the last candidate unless he planned to go cross-departmental or poultry. He peered intently at his victim keeping this fact firmly in mind.
Alas, desperation was not enough to change the fact this was Tsuzuki, arch- nemesis.
'Ugly.' He scrawled in the column next to Tsuzuki's name. Well that was that. Back to being straight and lonely.
"Isn't he cute while he's asleep?" Intercepted Hisoka as Terazuma made to leave. Hastily he wiped away Tsuzuki's drool and hoped Terazuma had missed it on his perfunctory examination. "Almost pretty enough to be a girl, but still manly enough not to . . . oh I don't know . . . trigger a gender specific curse?"
Hook, line and sinker. Terazuma paused and took a second look.
"He doesn't snore!" Added Hisoka.
It was true. Snoring tended to attract attention to the fact that you weren't paying any. This resulted in loss of wages. Which resulted in loss of food. Which resulted in a not-very-happy Tsuzuki. Thus the art of stealth-sleeping was born.
This may have seemed an out-of-nowhere remark to anyone else, but that HAD been one of the requirements for a life (after) partner Terazuma had conceived earlier.
". . . has no obsession with chemistry and is shorter than you."
Terazuma was forced to ponder this. Kekekekekeke.
"But . . . it's still Tsuzuki." He pointed out stupidly.
Hisoka panicked. He didn't realize it would be this difficult to manipulate Tsuzuki's arch-nemesis who absolutely hated him into thinking he loved the Baka. He only had a few minutes until Tsuzuki would wake up and no doubt ruin Hisoka's precious ones of minutes of planning and preparation. There must be some way to play on Terazuma's blatantly competitive nature and . . . .
"Oh. . . but I guess Tsuzuki wouldn't be interested in you . . . " Muttered Hisoka morosely.
"Eh?" Snapped Terazuma.
"Well, Tatsumi is . . . and there's this doctor that likes him and . . . the earl . . . you know . . ."
Terazuma gasped. At least THREE others? This meant . . . well if other people wanted Tsuzuki . . . and he DID control 12 high level shikigami. . .
"I'll do it!" He cheered enthusiastically, pumping one fist in the air.
Hisoka not being a complete bastard (he was working on it, but these things take time) thought now might be a good time to stop.
"You're gay, Hisoka! What do I do first?"
Twitch. Or maybe not.
Oh. And he was dead. But so were all his other work colleagues so it was okay.
The problem was, he could not come into contact with members of the opposite sex. Technically he couldn't come into contact with members of the same sex which majorly resembled members of the opposite sex either.
The result of such contact was . . . well he'd rather not think about it.
This left him with only two options.
1. Live a death of loneliness and utter despair
Or
2. Get a boyfriend.
#1. Not being the most - shall we say, 'desirable' outcome for spending the rest of his after-life (i.e. eternity) he opted for #2. This choice also had the advantage that if it failed he would still end up living the aforementioned misery, so it was really no choice at all . . . just an eventuality. But we digress.
Terazuma was not a demanding man (by his own standards anyway). But regardless he didn't want just any boyfriend, he wanted the best boyfriend.
So he made a list of possible candidates (thankfully, he also wanted a convenient boyfriend, so the list was short and only involving those in the immediate vicinity).
Tatsumi.
Not bloody likely.
Terazuma had researched this whole 'boyfriend' thing in advance. Saya and Yuma had been all too happy to lend their expertise on such things, and while he may have wished they could have been less graphic in their descriptions, Terazuma had rapidly come to the conclusion he did not want to be the physically smaller partner.
Terazuma crossed Tatsumi from the list, noting in the margin 'too tall'.
At his desk Tatsumi imperceptibly relaxed as Terazuma came to some conclusion. Terazuma had stood in the open doorway staring at him for nearly ten minutes before scratching some notes in a book and slinking away with a look of resignation. Out of some innate sense of self-preservation, he had no desire to pursue the matter and returned to his work.
Watari.
It was not really coincidence that the scientist should happen to both be the next person Terazuma ran into, and incidentally the second person on his list - actually Terazuma had numbered the list based on proximity (again for convenience) and Watari's laboratory was the next nearest office. After Kanoe of course, but since nobody REALLY thinks of Kanoe as human . . . more like an evolved form of a gushoshin . . . or something, it wasn't an issue.
There was a problem with Watari too of course.
Watari was obsessed with the idea of creating a gender-changing potion. This was a problem because it was very likely he might succeed someday. It was more than possible such a potion existed since Watari had on several occasions created potions that changed age and species alike. Naturally Terazuma had no intention of seducing a man that could be a woman tomorrow. Then he'd have to start all over. Nope. He scratched the name off his list. 'Too'. . . he tapped the pen thoughtfully for a moment before scribbling 'trans-gender motivated'.
Watari, who'd been the subject of Terazuma's surprise inspection, was naturally relieved when the assessor left. Truly this required further attention. Not as much however as that beaker that was overflowing and mixing with the . . . o damn.
Terazuma hummed happily to himself as he rounded the corner to the next office, oblivious to the fact he had already eliminated over 50% of his candidates (not to mention the raging inferno and squawking birds just two doors back).
Flinging open the door he glared at Hisoka, who having no idea what was going on but convinced it was all Tsuzuki's fault (wasn't everything?) tossed up between finishing his paperwork in the staff room and watching Tsuzuki get throttled.
Who said Hisoka didn't have narcissistic tendencies?
Peering over at what Terazuma was writing however, Hisoka took exception.
'Possibly girl in disguise.' Scrawled Terazuma next to Hisoka's name.
"Hey!" Hisoka complained pouting, as Terazuma obliviously went to examine the rooms other occupant.
"What are you doing?" Demanded Hisoka, intercepting Terazuma from the sleeping Tsuzuki. Not that he was concerned his partner might wake up - he knew for a fact only two things could wake Tsuzuki from a nap and since no prurient, psychopath doctors were present and lunch was yet a good 15 minutes away . . .
"Nothing." Denied Terazuma slamming the notebook shut.
Not before Hisoka got a good look at Terazuma's plans for seduction of course . . . and being the angel of mercy that he was, he decided to use the information for his own amusement. That is to say, had this been a *cough* anime *cough*, Hisoka would have grown kawaii little bat wings, horns and pointed tail, not to mention be accessorising with a pitchfork.
Terazuma had since returned to his examination of the next candidate. This was also the last candidate unless he planned to go cross-departmental or poultry. He peered intently at his victim keeping this fact firmly in mind.
Alas, desperation was not enough to change the fact this was Tsuzuki, arch- nemesis.
'Ugly.' He scrawled in the column next to Tsuzuki's name. Well that was that. Back to being straight and lonely.
"Isn't he cute while he's asleep?" Intercepted Hisoka as Terazuma made to leave. Hastily he wiped away Tsuzuki's drool and hoped Terazuma had missed it on his perfunctory examination. "Almost pretty enough to be a girl, but still manly enough not to . . . oh I don't know . . . trigger a gender specific curse?"
Hook, line and sinker. Terazuma paused and took a second look.
"He doesn't snore!" Added Hisoka.
It was true. Snoring tended to attract attention to the fact that you weren't paying any. This resulted in loss of wages. Which resulted in loss of food. Which resulted in a not-very-happy Tsuzuki. Thus the art of stealth-sleeping was born.
This may have seemed an out-of-nowhere remark to anyone else, but that HAD been one of the requirements for a life (after) partner Terazuma had conceived earlier.
". . . has no obsession with chemistry and is shorter than you."
Terazuma was forced to ponder this. Kekekekekeke.
"But . . . it's still Tsuzuki." He pointed out stupidly.
Hisoka panicked. He didn't realize it would be this difficult to manipulate Tsuzuki's arch-nemesis who absolutely hated him into thinking he loved the Baka. He only had a few minutes until Tsuzuki would wake up and no doubt ruin Hisoka's precious ones of minutes of planning and preparation. There must be some way to play on Terazuma's blatantly competitive nature and . . . .
"Oh. . . but I guess Tsuzuki wouldn't be interested in you . . . " Muttered Hisoka morosely.
"Eh?" Snapped Terazuma.
"Well, Tatsumi is . . . and there's this doctor that likes him and . . . the earl . . . you know . . ."
Terazuma gasped. At least THREE others? This meant . . . well if other people wanted Tsuzuki . . . and he DID control 12 high level shikigami. . .
"I'll do it!" He cheered enthusiastically, pumping one fist in the air.
Hisoka not being a complete bastard (he was working on it, but these things take time) thought now might be a good time to stop.
"You're gay, Hisoka! What do I do first?"
Twitch. Or maybe not.