Bad Karma
Carby. Something happens to Abby. Will Carter get to her in time? Will he be able to save her? Read on to find out!
A.N.: I'm not the original author of this story. The original author is carby luva 313. She's decided she doesn't have enough time to write, so she's giving me the honor of finishing it for her. I hope I can do as good a job!
Disclaimer: I do not own ER. It belongs to Michael Crichton and the other members of the production team.
Chapter 11: Nightmares
Carter woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of monitors beeping. At first he thought it was probably a patient crashing in the next room, but he looked over at Abby and she was tossing on the bed. If she wasn't careful she might break some of her sutures, or pull out an IV. Carter jumped to his feet and tried to hold her down.
"Shh. Abby it's okay, calm down. Nothing is happening, it's all a dream. Come on Abby, wake up!" He hissed. Abby woke with a start. Tears were cascading down her cheeks. She looked up at Carter and just fell into his arms.
"It's okay, I'm right here. Calm down, baby." Carter whispered reassuringly. Abby was still crying and rocking back and forth in his arms.
"It was horrible, John! I-I remembered it all, in my dream! All I could see was him on top of me, and then when they were kicking and beating me... One of them kept kicking me, the other one was whipping me with a rope. It was horrible!" Abby cried.
"It's okay now. I promise I'll never let anyone hurt you again. It's all in the past." He soothed. Abby's cries had turned to sobs and her vitals were coming down.
"I don't know if I'll ever be able to sleep again, John." She said distraughtly.
"I know it seems like that now. Heck, I couldn't sleep for a month after being stabbed without waking up every night, screaming. After a while, it'll all go away, the memories will fade, and the feeling of hopelessness will ease. I'll help you every step of the way. I'll be there to hold your hand through every nightmare, every flashback, every memory, and every feeling forever and always." Carter said softly.
"I don't know where I'd be without you." Abby said quietly. Carter leaned down and kissed the top of her head. She felt better right away, just being held. She again felt loved.
"Do you think you can get back to sleep? Maybe you want me to get you something to help you drift off." Carter suggested.
"No, I think I'll be okay." Abby whispered.
"Come on, you need your strength. I'll get you something to help you sleep." He said. Abby thought about it and decided he was right. She nodded in response. Carter got up and went to the store cupboards. He came back a few minutes later with a vial and a syringe. After mixing the vial between his hands and drawing the fluid into the syringe, he injected it into one of Abby's IV's.
"There. Now you'll feel better." He said.
"Thanks." She said and closed her eyes. A warm feeling spread to the tips of her fingers and toes and she quickly drifted off to sleep. Carter decided not to sleep tonight. He wasn't about to leave Abby's side either. After all, who needs caffiene if you have a love as strong as this. After a few minutes Kerry poked her head into the room.
"Hey John, how are you holding up? How's Abby doing?" She asked quietly.
"I'm fine. Abby had a nightmare, but I gave her something to help her sleep. I'm gonna stay up to make sure she's okay for tonight." He responded.
"How about I bring you some coffee? I was about to get some anyway. Pulling a double is hard under usual circumstances, but now I just find it exhausting both physically and emotionally. Abby's a strong girl, and I'm sure she'll make a full recovery, but I can't help worrying anyway." Kerry said quietly.
"Yeah, I know what you mean. Thanks Kerry, coffee would be great." Carter smiled.
"Alright, I'll be back soon." She said and with that she was gone.
While Kerry was gone Carter silently prayed to himself.
Dear God, I've never turned to you for help before, but I think it's about time I try. Please watch over Abby, keep her safe during the surgery tomorrow. Let her forget the events of the past few days, and move on to live a full and happy life. Help her rest peacefully and put her at ease. Help her let go of the fear she holds so deep inside. Help her to know that I love her, and I always will. Amen.
After he was done, Carter felt a little better. Maybe this was just what he needed to free his guilty conscience. He still felt responsible for letting Abby talk to Alicia. Soon Kerry reappeared with the coffee.
"Hey John. Are you alright?" She asked concernedly.
"Yeah, I'm fine." He said quietly. Kerry thought she should keep him company for a while, so he feels like he has someone there for him twenty four hours a day.
"Do you want me to stay with you for a while?" She asked uncertainly.
"Yeah, thanks Kerry." Carter replied, feeling a bit better. He was happy he had someone here with him now, maybe that would take his mind off of Abby for just a second so he could regain his composure.
"Are you tired?" Kerry asked, noticing the usual gleam in his eye was missing.
"No, just worried." He replied.
"I understand. I'm worried too, but I'm also confident everything will be okay. Abby's a fighter, she won't let this keep her down for long. Especially if she has you by her side. Just stay with her, John, and she'll be fine." Kerry empathized.
"I know she will. She has to be. I couldn't go on knowing she wasn't happy. I love her, and I promised myself I would help her get over this if it was the last thing I'd ever do. Maybe I'm just trying to help myself get over the guilt, but deep down I know it's for her sake. I've asked God to watch over her, but I realize I'm the one who she needs the most." Carter said with tears in his eyes. Kerry moved closer to him and pulled him into an embrace.
"You have her back now, John, and no one will ever be able to take her away from you. Not Jack Conner, not God, not anyone. It wasn't your fault, and I'm sure Abby wants you to know that too. Just set aside your feelings and help Abby with hers. If you ever need to talk to someone, just come to me. Even if I can't understand the problem, or how ou feel, I'm here to listen, and I won't judge you." Kerry said, tears stinging her eyes now too.
"Thanks Kerry, I know I can trust you. As a co-worker, a doctor, and a friend. Thank you for being there. Just promise me one thing." Carter asked.
"Sure, anything." She said quietly.
"Promise that you'll be there for Abby, too. I'm not the one who needs someone to talk to at the moment. If she seems at all run down, please talk to her. Listen to her the same way you did to me just now." Carter pleaded.
"No problem. I want Abby to be okay just as much as you do." Kerry said. They sat in a companionable silence for a while and drank their coffee, which had almost gone cold while they were talking. After a while, Kerry looked up at the clock and realized what time it was.
"Oh my God! Sorry John, but my break ended fifteen minutes ago, I have to run. Remember, if you, or Abby, ever need to talk, I'm willing to listen." She said and left the room.
Even after the coffee, Carter's eyelids were heavy. He was tired but desperately needed to stay awake and watch over Abby. Good thing he did. He looked over at the gurney containing Abby's fragile form and she was tossing violently in her sleep again. She had pulled out one of her IV's.
"Abby, wake up! Come on! It's okay, I'm right here. Wake up, you're safe now!" Carter said desperately as he shook her. Suddenly Abby's eyes snapped open. She was pale and clammy.
"Oh my God, I just had the worst dream!" She exclaimed.
"Shh. It's okay. Tell me what happened." Carter comforted her.
"I dreamt that it was time for the surgery, only I was watching it all from above. I saw myself lying on the gurney. Romano made the incision and all this blood gushed out. He couldn't stop it, it was flowing out of my body and down onto the floor. A river of blood flowed out under the doors into the corridor. There was so much of it! They tried to get me back, but they couldn't. I died John. I died in my dream." Abby wept. Her tears were soaking Carter's clothes as he held her close to him.
"Don't worry. Everything will be okay. It's not going to happen, this is just minor. Your platelet count is normal, so you won't bleed out. It's just minor surgery and you'll have the best surgeons working on you. Romano, Corday, and Dorset would never let anything happen to you, or to anyone!" Carter reassured her.
"But they do John. It happens every day. Ten percent of patients die during minor surgery. What if I become part of that statistic?" She asked.
"You won't. Those patients are at high risk even for minor surgery. Undiagnosed bleeding disorders and infection. Don't worry, I promise I'll get you through this. It'll all be over soon." Carter whispered softly. Abby's crying slowed and soon stopped, but she clung to Carter never the less. He was her only source of comfort now. After she calmed down completely, Carter spoke.
"You pulled out one of your IV's while you were tossing and turning. I'll start another line, okay?" He asked quietly. Abby nodded in response. Carter walked over to the cabinets on the side of the room and fetched another line kit. Abby watched him carefully as he tied the tourniquet and searched for a good vein. She knew he would never hurt her, but that didn't stop her being scared. Once he found a good site, Carter looked up into Abby's worried eyes and smiled. He then looked back down and inserted the needle. It was done.
"There, that wasn't so bad now, was it?" He asked and kissed her forehead.
"No, not really. I love you so much. I often thank God he led me to you. Without you I'd be a shell of a person. Thank you, John." Abby whispered and lay back on the gurney. She closed her eyes and Carter couldn't take his off her. She was absolutely perfect, and nothing could ever change that.
Soon Abby was back asleep. This time, Carter fell asleep right beside her. Tomorrow will be a better day he thought to himself as he drifted off. Kerry walked by and saw the sleeping pair.
"They're made for each other. Please, God, let everything work out for them, they've been through so much." She muttered under her breath.
The sun soon crept over the horizon and brightened the room in which sleeping beauty and her prince rested. Soon a new day would dawn and there would be more challenges to face. Nothing a couple like Abby and Carter couldn't face...
A.N.: Okay, I know that one wasn't up to my usual standards. It's eleven at night, and I've had a long day. I hope you like it anyway! Thanks to all the great fans that have reviewed! Keep sending them, you know my ego needs stroking! Just kidding, but tell me what you think anyway! Love my readers! I promise the next chapter will be up soon! Julia