A/N: I told you the 5th chapter would be here VERY soon!

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Chapter 5

"McGonnagall's dead. McGonnagall's dead. Professor McGonnagall is dead!" Hermione said, pacing around the room.

"McGonnagall can't die. How can McGonnagall die?" Ron asked.

"She was the first suspect. It's my fault." Harry said. "The second I suspected her, I signed her death warrant."

"Well, is any one of us safe?" Renee asked.

"Yeah. Virgins. Virgins never die." Harry announced. Ron looked at Hermione.

"Hey all right! Thanks for saving me!" Ron told her. She looked at him, exasperated.

"I'm dead," Fred announced.

"I'm dead," George said, shrugging.

"I'll get as sick as you can get without actually dying," Harry said as Fred and George patted him on the back.

"What about McGonnagall? She's dead!" Renee said.

"Hey! Hey! Go McGonnagall, Go McGonnagall, I said go, go, go McGonnagall! Yeah!" Fred and Harry sang. Ron cut in.

"Hey! As happy as I am for McGonnagall I am scared to death here. What do we do?" Ron asked Harry.

"Let's calmly recap-" Harry started. Fred finished for him.

"Seamus's dead, McGonnagall's dead, we're trapped inside with the killer!"

"So basically we should figure out who the killer is." George said.

"Right. We should split up." Renee said.

"Right away, wrong," Harry answered.

"Ok, we'll just stay here and we'll all be fine," Renee contradicted.

As a silence falls over the group, Filch's squeaky bin is heard. Ron turns to Harry.

"D-Don't say it!" Harry told Ron. Too late.

"Filch is the killer!" Ron said triumphantly.

"And that's the end of Filch." Harry said.

"Oh, stop being crazy," Ron told him.

"Yeah Harry. You were wrong about McGonnagall and you're wrong about this." Hermione said.

"You were wrong to break up with Ron!" Harry told her angrily.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Hermione asked him.

"Did anything like this happen while you two were together?" Harry asked.

"No, but-" Hermione started, but Harry cut in.

"You've killed us. You've killed us all." Harry told her. Fred decided it was time to take charge, which is never a good thing.

"Hey, now you're overreacting. There's only two people who are horribly dead. That's an acceptable loss." He said, as though it ended the fight.

Filch's squeaky bin has now gotten as loud as it can get.

"He's coming closer! He's coming! He's coming for all of us!" Renee said, standing on a desk and losing her head completely. Everyone runs out into the hall. The squeaky bin is right in front of the door, but Filch is nowhere to be seen.

"AHHH," Renee let out a really good scream.

"You know, you are really good at that," George told her.

"Thank you," she whispered, sounding terrified.

"So where's Filch?" Ron asked.

"He's probably on his way." Fred said.

"I don't think so. Renee, you sick of screaming?" Harry asked.

"Yes." She answered.

"Don't look in here." He told her.

Everyone except Renee looks in the bin. They all scream.

"Oh my God, there's like, 15 dungbombs in there!" said Ron, looking horrified.

"And this!" Harry said, pulling Filch's head out of the bin by the scruff of his tailcoat. They all looked up expectantly at Renee.

"Oh, me. OK. AHH!" She screamed again. Harry pushed the bin gently down the hall.

"Hey wait a second! The killer's dead! We're off the hook! Up top!" Fred said, holding up his hand for George to slap. George declines.

"Hey, I don't get it man, it had to be Filch." He said thoughtfully.

"Yeah, I mean, there's no one else in here, is there?" Ron said. They looked behind them, then turned around, relieved. The creepy guy in black ran by.

"Ok, so how do you explain this?" Hermione asked Harry.

"Easy. The death of Filch signifies the last of the obvious suspects- just like in the cult classic, 'The Last of the Obvious Suspects.'" Harry said, with the faraway look on his face.

"So that would mean-" Renee said.

"Dun-dun-dun" Fred interrupted, poking his head in between Ron and Harry's.

"That the killer is one of us." Ron finished.

"Like in, 'The Killer is One of Us,'" Harry said.

"Dun-dun-dun" Fred poked his head in again and announced.

"Enough already!" Hermione said, finally snapping.

"Why? Do we upset you?" Harry asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes!" Hermione answered.

"Upset you enough to kill?" Ron asked, also raising an eybrow.

"Du-du-dun!" Fred said. Hermione gave him a look. "I'm done," he decided.

"I think we need to face it, people." Ron announced. "One of us is a crazy, psychopathic, murderer" He continued, putting a French accent on the last word. "The question is, which one of us is it?"

This spurred a silent debate. Renee looked at Ron. Ron looked back. Hermione looked at Harry. Harry looked back. George looked at Fred. Fred sucked his thumbs.

"Look, none of us is the killer. There's got to be another person in here and there's got to be another way out. Somebody has to find a way out!" Hermione decided.

"All right, I'll do it. I'm the oldest." Fred announced.

"Actually, I'm the oldest." George contradicted.

"Yeah, but I've lived the longest," Fred said.

"All right, you can do it." George told him.

"All right, so what just happened here?" Fred asked.

"You get to stay out here by yourself!" Ron told him.

"Oh good!" Fred said.

"Good luck!" Ron said.

"Yeah, thanks, man!" Fred said as the rest of them headed back to the classroom.

"Oh," Fred said quietly. He started sucking on his thumbs again. "Dun-dun-dun. Dun-dun-dun. Dun-dun-AHH!"

A/N: What did Fred find? Will it be the end of him? Like you don't know already. Just review.