"i opened my eyes, the fire had come,
not for the end of days, not for the faithless ones.
not for vision understood, burns because it has to burn,
change'll happen whether we, are still or moving.
breathe in waves of doubt, bitter in your mouth
you will exhale cinnamon clouds.
when it is quiet and still, i can feel older here.
change what i can and pray, the hope will not disappear.
when we are not denying anything, nothing is an enemy,
delicately balancing, the perfect world.
ride these waves of doubt, bitter in your mouth
you will exhale cinnamon clouds.
little heaven,
riding waves of doubt, turns me inside out
i will exhale primal shout.
little heaven,
i understand, the fire will come
not for the strength of will, or passion of anyone.
i understand, the fire will come
not for the end of days, not for the faithless ones." -G. Phillips 'Little Heaven'

Westbury, England

"Willow?"

"What are you doing here? What do you want?"

"Willow, hello, I just got in this afternoon. I wasn't expecting to run into you."

"You didn't, you were laying there, I ran into you, and not even into you more like about you. Anyways what do you want?"

"Well, nice to see you too! All you witches are the same, 'what do you want? Cryptic prediction. What do you want?' What do you want?"

"I just want to know what you are doing here."

"Well, I am on holiday. That's right; vampire takes a holiday. Thought I'd come back to my homeland, rejuice, revamp if you will."

"You're lying."

"Like you would know!"

"I do know."

"Well what are you doing this evening? Out for a stroll are we? Where's the boy wanker?"

"Xander, as the rest of us humans call him, is in Sunnydale. Yes I am out for a walk; I am communing with nature I'll have you know. And nature is communing all night long so I can commune with it."

"Yeah, okay."

"Giles gave me your package."

"What? Shit, I didn't realize you were here. I forgot, I figured he would at least wait a day to give it to you."

"So you were in Egypt? That scroll thing was pretty neat. There's still a cult of witches that worship Isis, one of the Coven members is a member. She thought the scroll was great, but she thought it was made of banana leaves."

"Bastard, he told me over and over again, that it wasn't banana leaf!"

"It's still cool. Papyrus is overrated, banana leaves last longer. Wanna walk with me?"

"Then you'd be communing with the undead, not nature."

"I don't care I just need out of that stuffy castle thing. What do they call it again?"

"An estate. It's an estate Red."

"Yeah, let's walk."

They started off. She knew the grounds pretty well, showed him the outbuilding the coven was schooling her in. At the edge of the property was a long wall.

"You wanna sit?"

"Sure Red. Whatever you want."

"Something's different. Different about you, I can feel it. You're softer."

"Softer? Great I am the great fluffy vampire! Yeah, something's changed, but if I tell you, you can't tell anyone, and I mean anyone named Dawn, Anya, Xander, Buffy anyone who knows me or who might come into contact with any of the above. Giles knows, but no one else."

"Your secrets safe with me. Lips are sealed, key thrown away."

"I got my soul back."

"What! Whoa, you are so lying. I have the only copy of the spell to do that. So I know you are lying."

"You know there are other ways to get a soul back. Sought a legend, saw a demon, suffered a lot, got back soul, it was pretty simple."

"Why? Why would you do that?"

"Cos I couldn't live with myself. I am sure you know what I tried to do. I needed to kill the monster to bring forth the man."

"Wow, holy philosophical."

"Yeah I thought it had epiphany written all over it as well. Of course it didn't start that way, at first I wanted the chip out. But then I sort of found myself asking to be restored to my original self, like I couldn't control myself. Like the man in me finally came through."

"Why'd you want the chip out? You could kill Buffy before, with the chip."

"It wasn't so I could kill her, it was so I could drive her to kill me."

"You know you really have that moody Englishman thing down to a science. I mean I thought Angel was tortured, but you really have taken that throne."

"Well it's nice to know even with a soul I am better than that poof."

"That wasn't what I was saying. So what are you gonna do now?"

"I'm going to bloody Disney land."

"Really? I mean there can't be much to do at night, Oooo but they do have that cool light parade."

"Willow, I was screwing with you babe."

"Oh, right. Sorry."

"Well I am helping Giles write an account of this Demon who did this to me and his story and stuff. He's going to give it to the council, try to get something out of it for Buffy. Then, well then I am not sure. I'm not doing so well you know. Headaches, haunts and hamsters."

"Hamsters? Oh right you are so messing with me. So is the chip acting up, is that what's causing the headaches? I should be able to take a look at that for you, I mean I have some stuff here and we can see if there is anything we can do outside of cutting open your head, cos that is so not my thing."

"More like the screams of my victims. They come to me in my dreams, dead people, people I have killed, people I ate. That Chinese Slayer came to me too, but I still can't make out a damn thing she says."

"You see dead people?" Willow giggled, "I mean, wow, that must be awful. But you probably deserve it, I mean you were like total evil for 100 years, so I am sure you had to pay some way."

"Yeah, you're right. I know this, but I am trying to make right. Trying to make right without becoming a complete ponce."

"Well I think this is enough deep stuff for me for one night. I need to sleep, but I am not saying that in a 'haha I can sleep cos I am not haunted by the thousands of people I have killed over my lifetime as a vampire' sort of way. Just in a sleepy witch sort of way."

"I'll walk back with you."

The walk was short; Spike could feel dawn licking at their heels.

"Spike, you know if Buffy can forgive me for almost ending the world I am sure she can forgive you for an indiscretion. I mean you did a lot of good. One bad moment doesn't negate all of that. You took care of Dawn, and you took care of Buffy when she came back. She knows that."

"Yeah well, I am not looking for her to wipe the slate clean. I want to have to earn her back. I don't deserve her if she just acts like nothing happened. That's only asking for trouble to brew under the surface, trouble full of anger and hate. She's forgiven you?"

"Not yet, but I know what you mean about the brewing. Sometimes don't you wish it could just go back to the way it was before?"

"Everyday."

Spike slept for most of the day. Giles couldn't blame him; those pills could really knock you out. Giles nearly tripped over the book on his way out of his room in the morning. Spike must have been up half the night writing up the legend and facts about the Demon. They still didn't have a name for it. Even Spike didn't know what it was called. But that was fine.

"Giles? Mr. Giles? You have a guest."

"Oh right, Sara send him into the library. Could you please see if Spike is awake and have him come down to meet us?"

"Sir, I am scared of him. I don't want to do that."

"Fine, understandable. I will get him, show Mr. Nicholls to the library, and serve him some tea, I will be down in a moment."

Walking down the hall Giles wondered if this was still some sort of joke, a farce, Spike pulling a fast one. Giles meant it wouldn't be the first time.

The bed was empty.

"Spike? Spike are you in here?"

There was a noise in the corner, a whelp almost.

"I'm so sorry, I-i-i-i never meant it to be like this. Please!"

It was Spike; he was in a disheveled state on the floor. Crumbled like a note and running with tears. Heaving with sobs, he looked up.

"Get out of here. Now! Stop looking at me!"

"Spike, are you alright?"

"Do I look alright? Leave me alone! I don't think I can go on like this. I don't think I can do this. I am not this strong."

"Rubbish! Spike that's plain rubbish. Get off your ass, and stop whimpering like a child. Look at you, what a sorry state! Nicholls from the Watchers Council is here. He is here for your story. Now I don't think i can bring down a blubbering shell of a vampire and tell him that this is what the Demon can do, and still get him to give Buffy the money she deserves."

"Sod off!"

"Fine, then get out!"

Spike seemed to shake himself out of the spell.

"Giles I'm sorry. I am just so buggered in the head right now, and all I want to do is die. But I can't. I will be down in a few minutes. Let me clean myself up. "

"Please hurry, we will be in the library. Nicholls has the attention span of a gnat."

"Right, I'll be down."

Mr. Giles, your guest is not alone. Should I take them both tea?"

"Sara, what? There are two of them? Figures. Yes, actually make it for four, Spike will be joining us shortly."

As he entered the room, Giles' worst fear came true. There he was, Quentin Travers. What a badger he was! Couldn't keep his nose out of anything. As director of the council he did more to piss Giles' off than anyone on earth.

"Rupert! What a pleasure. Mr. Nicholls told me about your discovery and I just had to see it for myself."

"You weren't invited. I would appreciate it if you would leave, now."

"Now Rupert, stop it. I am not here to start a fight; I just want to see what you have brought us. I am the one who decides if Buffy gets paid. There is quite a bounty on this recollection, and I need to see it to make my decision. Now where is your restored vampire?"

"He is coming. Nicholls, you couldn't keep your bloody mouth shut for 1 day could you?"

"Well, Rupert, its not entirely his fault. I received calls from both Samuel and Abdullah about their cargo. Abdullah really seemed to enjoy his time with your traveler. If you are using my watchers as babysitters than I have a right to be involved. It's not like I can deport you this time." Quentin laughed.

"Fine. But I have the feeling there is something else going on besides the freak show."

"We will discuss that later."

Spike entered the room carrying the book Giles had left with him.

"Evening. Here is your book, all the info I have, take a good look at me cos I am the proof, and now I have to go." He threw the book at Travers, remarkably Travers caught it.

"Just you wait one minute." Travers couldn't keep his damn mouth shut.

"Oh look its the Tweed Avenger! Look, I told you I had this info, I offered it up, but I never agreed to a cup of tea and civilized conversation with you. If I am not mistaken your Council's objectives are still to wipe the world clean of the likes of me, soul or no soul."

"Actually Mr...?"

"Its Spike, no Mister."

"Yes, Spike, well the Council has no real stance on souled Vampires. Plus our arm of power is still seated at the Hell mouth, so I think you are safe as houses."

"Right then. What do you want? I gave you all I knew in that book. Sorry if the writings a little scratchy, 'avn't written in a bit."

"What have your souled experiences been like?"

"Oh they are a real joy, you know all puppies and sunshine! Toss off! My soul is none of your business." Spike tapped out a cigarette from the pack. "And I'll have you know I'm not gonna become one of your agents or whatever they are, I have my own purpose!"

"Which is?"

"None of your bloody well business!"

"Fine then, we were willing to offer you safe passage back to the Hell mouth, but if you aren't interested..."

"What? I'm listening."

"We would like you to return to the Hell mouth, keep us abreast of the situation."

"What situation? I'm not going to be your damn eyes and ears! I am not a spy!"

"Not as a spy. Something is coming, and you will be needed."

"Giles do they teach cryptic at the Council cos I think I need to brush up on my 'we're not telling you the whole story' skills."

"Spike, this is serious. This has nothing to do with Mr. Giles. You have superior strength to an average human. There is still only one slayer, well two, but only one is at the Hell mouth, and she can't take what is coming on her own. Mr. Giles will be serving in a different position."

"So let me get this right, something is coming, Slayer can't take it on her own, you need me to lend some muscle to the situation to keep the Slayer safe?"

"Yes, in a nutshell."

"What is it? What is coming after her? Nothing can happen to her! Do you hear me? Nothing! You aren't even going to tell her what is headed her way are you? And how do you know I can do anything about it? I can't even be told what it is, so how am I supposed to save her?"

"Buffy is no longer under the jurisdiction of the Council. Nor is Faith. We technically have 2 rogue Slayers out there. One is completely capable without us, and I believe the other is currently incarcerated."

"Well I am going to need to know what is coming, otherwise the deal is off."

"We aren't quite sure, that's part of the problem. We can let you know when we figure it out, but it is very important that we get you back to Sunnydale to begin your role."

"Buffy an I aren't on the greatest of terms. I don't think she'd let me protect her let alone let me near her."

"Spike is right Quentin, him and Buffy had a bit of an incident and I don't think this is advisable."

"Giles stay out of this. Now I can't imagine that what happened was so awful. You will be heading out tomorrow if you want to do this."

"Well actually it was that bad. You could send me back though and I can slowly work my way back into her good graces. So, yes I guess I will do this. But I am doing it for Buffy, not for the Tweed and Corduroy Club."

"We will send someone by tomorrow to take you. You should leave now."

"Well aren't we demanding? Go protect the Slayer, Go tomorrow, Go now! Blimey, no wonder Buffy cut you off." Spike turned to leave. "Giles where is Willow right now? I need to see her about something."

"Spike I thought she wasn't supposed to know you were here?"

"I ran into her in the garden last night, we keep the same hours you know."

"She should be in her room now, go right at the top of the stairs, first room on the left. Don't tell her you are going home. She shouldn't know."

"Right, fine. Later."

Spike left, headed towards the stairs. Something was going on, and the Council wasn't telling the whole story as far asGiles could tell.

"Rupert, now we come to you."

"Yes, well I should be finishing up with Willow any day and then I can return to my post in Sunnydale."

"We do need you to go to Sunnydale, but you will need to pick some things up on the way."

"Fine, what? I hope my expenses will be covered, I'm not independently wealthy and Willow destroyed my livelihood when she went bad."

"Not what, who. We have had reports from around the globe that our Potential Slayers and their watchers are being slaughtered. They just started to come in. We aren't sure there is reason for alarm yet. This could be nothing, but we think it would be a good time to start sending them to the Slayer. We have notified the remaining watchers with girls to start sending them, but there are some girls who haven't been called yet or whose watchers are now eliminated, we need you to go to them and get them sent to Sunnydale."

"Have any of you notified Buffy on this? I mean they are being sent to her and she has no idea! She won't know what in the hell is going on."

"She won't listen to us, but she will listen to you. We have brought two girls from the area here to be with you, safe within the confines of the coven. Another you can pick up in New York on your way to Sunnydale. You can then explain the situation to Buffy and head out to gather the others."

"What is going on here? What is potentially going on here Quentin? Michael do you know?"

"Sorry Giles I have no idea, very good tea though." Michael said as he looked out on the gardens.

"Rupert, this could be our worst nightmare coming true. In the meanwhile we need to investigate more. If we are right, if our fears are confirmed, we will need all the help we can get."

"I need more information before I agree to this."

"Damnit Giles, Samuel was killed an hour after he sent Spike on his way. Abdullah's girl was gutted in her bed just this morning. Something is coming after them. You have more experience with apocalyptic situations than all of us combined. Your slayer has outlasted all of ours, only you and her can do this."

"When do I leave?"

"In a week, maybe sooner."

"Fine."

What a deal! Gee, hi Buffy I know you hate me, but the Council you hate has sent me to protect you! Say, How have you been? Yeah that's going to go over like a ton of bricks. That is if she even will talk to me. Spike thought as he ascended the stairs. Willow's room was exactly where Giles said it would be.

"Red? Red you in there?" Spike knocked on the door.

"What? Who? Stop the frogs they must not get there!"

"Willow? Are you okay?"

The door opened. A very groggy half awake Willow stood there.

"Spike? What do you want? I am sleepy. It's sleepy time for Willow, you know like that happy little fat bear on the sleepy time tea box?"

"I just need you help for a few minutes, then you can go back to sleep. Alright?"

"Sure, fine sleep is overrated anyways."

Willow's room was a strange mix of witch and shrine to friends. She went in the side room to change into real clothes. On the back of the door were tons of photos. All the Scoobies were there, but it was mostly Buffy and Tara. Spike almost had forgotten what just Buffy's face could do to him. She looked so happy in the photos. One of Willow, Buffy and Anya at the beach was falling off the door. They were all on blankets, in bikinis with drinks with little umbrellas in them. Smiling happily in the summer sun. That body, what that body could do was enough to drive a man to do almost anything.

"Stop drooling Romeo."

"What? Oh this one was falling off, I wasn't trying to nick it."

"I know, I was meaning to tape it back up. So what's up? What'd you need?"

"I am leaving tomorrow."

"You just got here! Please can't you stay? I am so desperate for foolish conversation!"

"I can't, I have to leave. You will probably get to see me in a few weeks. I need a favor from you."

"Fine, where are you going?"

"Can't tell you Red. It's classified."

"Stop talking like Riley, its creepy. What do you need?"

"A haircut, desperately."

"I kinda noticed. I had no idea your hair was so dark. I guess I never realized you bleached it."

"Yeah, its that whole 'blondes have more fun' thing."

"I'm not supposed to do any spells which stop me from doing something I can already do, That means no glamours, no shutting doors from across the room, and no floating objects. I mean like floating a pencil is so evil!"

"I thought we could try this the old fashioned way, I am sure you've got a snips around here somewhere."

"Oh! CUT your hair! I get it, I am probably not going to be very good at it."

"I am sure it will be fine. At least you have fingers to use the snips. Back in Sunnydale I once had to go to a guy with hooves! Needless to say I never went back there!"

"Are we going to dye it too? Cos this could be fun. I mean I could get some highlights out of it!"

"This isn't a make-over party pet. I just need a trim up. I think I'll leave it as it is for a while."

"Okay fine. Hold on."

She came back with a scissors. Spike was still contemplating stealing that photo. He sat in a chair facing the door, he could study the images on the wall, all of them happy moments, how he wished they had shared some of them. Willow began cutting. Small wisps of blonde fell to the floor.

"You want me to just cut off the blonde? That should make it look better, then I am sure you can find someone without hooves to fix it up where ever you are going."

"That'll do."

Spike wasn't up for much chatting after the trim, so he gratefully excused himself afterwards and told Red he would see her soon. He was back in his room when he started second-guessing that decision. On the vanity were three large bottles of sleeping pills. Either Giles was stocking him up or trying to put him into a coma. Spike swallowed one of them with some of the whiskey he nicked while in the library. Just because he had a soul didn't mean he couldn't be a thief. While Spike waited for it to kick in he decided to have a bath. He had those scratchy itchy hairs stuck in his shirt collar and it was about to drive him screaming mad. It would be fine. Tomorrow he would be packed, rested, fed, clean, and ready to embark to the land of 'she could never love me cos I am nothing but a monster but I need to take care of her'. This was about to get interesting.