Bad Karma
Carby. Something happens to Abby. Will Carter get to her in time? Will he be able to save her? Read on to find out!
A.N.: I'm not the original author of this story. The original author is carby luva 313. She's decided she doesn't have enough time to write, so she's giving me the honour of finishing it for her. I hope I can do as good a job!
Disclaimer: I do not own ER. It belongs to Michael Crichton and the other members of the production team.
Chapter 16: Set Backs
Morning dawned on Abby's fifth day in the hospital. It had been almost a week since that fateful day. The memories were still fresh and vivid in Abby's mind. Right now a horrible dream was just coming to an end. Jack Conner had a gun pointed at Abby's chest. He was about to pull the trigger when Kenny spoke. Jack fired the gun. Luckily, his aim was off, and the bullet had only grazed Abby's upper arm instead. It was the scariest few seconds of her life. From the second the trigger was pulled, to the second the bullet tore the flesh of her arm. It all could have ended with that one bullet. But it didn't. God must have been watching over her at that moment. Or maybe it had been a guardian angel.
Abby woke with a start. The sun shone brightly into the quiet recovery room. Abby blinked to let her eyes adjust. Once she could see clearly, Abby looked over to her right side. Carter was fast asleep on the bed right beside her. One of his arms was wrapped tightly around Abby, while the other was hanging off the side of the gurney. His mouth was slightly open. He emitted quiet snores. Abby smiled to herself. She decided to let him sleep. Not long after, Dr.Romano came in to examine Abby. It had gone smoothly, and Carter was still sleeping soundly. Everything was fine. When Dr.Romano left, breakfast arrived. Joyful. As usual, Abby wasn't hungry. Unfortunately, the sound of Abby's stomach growling woke Carter. His head snapped up and almost hit Abby. He looked around as his eyes, too, adjusted to the light.
"Hey, why didn't you wake me?" Carter inquired.
"You just looked so cute asleep, with your mouth open, your quiet snores, your-" Abby was cut off.
"Okay, okay I get it." Carter laughed.
"Now how about some breakfast?" He asked.
"If you really expect me to eat that, you've got another thing coming." Said Abby pointing at the hospital 'food' as they called it.
"Do you really think I'd torture you like that? I'll got down to the cafeteria and grab a couple of bagels with cream cheese and some orange juice. How's that sound." Carter asked.
"Much improved." Abby complied.
While Carter was gone, Abby thought about what she had coming that day. Her first real psych session with Dr.Legaspi. Just the thought of it made her lose her appetite. Maybe she would tell Dr.Legaspi it was too soon to relive the experience. Oh, who was she kidding? Dr.Legaspi would just say better now because it's fresh in your mind, and we want to stop it before it gets worse or some other convincing sounding psycho babble. Just then, the door opened and Carter backed into the room. He looked hillarious, carrying two plates of bagels on one arm, and two glasses of orange juice in the other.
"Maybe it would have been smarter to have gotten our orders to go." Carter said embarrassedly.
"It's just like you. You think you can handle everything." Abby laughed.
"Great way to put a dent in my ego there, sweetheart." Carter retorted.
"It was my pleasure." Abby joked.
Over the past few days, the only thing that sustained Abby was the fact that Carter was always in a good mood. He was always up for joking and laughing, even if it was at his own expense. Kerry had been nice enough to give Carter five days off, but he had to go back to work the next day. After breakfast, Carter threw away their plates and cups.
"I'm going to go down to the ER for a while, to check what shift I have tomorrow, okay? I'll be back soon." He said and kissed Abby on the top of her head.
"Okay, see you!" Abby shouted after him.
As Carter walked down the hall, he ran into Dr.Legaspi.
"Oh, hello John. I was just on my way to see Abby. How are you this morning?" She inquired.
"Fine thanks. How about you?" He returned.
"Good. Where are you going?" She asked.
Carter was about to say the ER, but decided against it. There was something he had been meaning to talk to Dr.Legaspi about anyway.
"I was actually on my way up to your office. I wanted to talk to you for a minute." He said.
"Alright, come in here then." Dr.Legaspi said, motioning to an empty surgical waiting room.
Once they were inside, they sat down opposite one another. Dr.Legaspi carefully surveyed Carter. Probably psycho analyzing him. Typical psychiatrist thing.
"So Dr.Carter, what is it that you needed to talk to me about?" She asked concernedly.
"Okay, I know this is going to sound weird. Actually, probably less so than some other things you've heard. When Abby was in surgery, I fell asleep while I was waiting for her. I had the most bizzare dream. Actually, I think it was more a vision, or a premonition of some sort. Do you think we can actually somehow be in contact with the spirit world?" Carter asked.
"I do indeed. What are you implying, Dr.Carter?" Dr.Legaspi inquired concernedly.
"Well, I dreamt of Lucy. Not of a time she was still with us. It was in the present. I was in a white room, and suddenly there was a flash of light. When it died down, I saw a figure moving towards me. I realized it was Lucy. She was an angel. She told me that she had been to see Abby, too, and that the surgery was going well. She told me Abby would be fine." Carter said quietly.
Dr.Legaspi looked deeply interested. Oh great Carter thought to himself she probably thinks I'm nuttier than a squirrel just what he needed. To be locked up in an asylum. Too late to restate his thoughts now.
"I'm sure there was something more to the dream. Are you telling me everything, Dr.Carter?" Legaspi questioned further.
"Lucy also told me not to feel guilty. That it wasn't my fault she died." Carter finished.
"Then I think you dreamt it because it was your consciences' way of telling you to move on. It was brought on by the near loss of another one dear to you. It's perfectly normal." Dr.Legaspi reasoned.
"Thanks, Dr.Legaspi. Ever since that dream, I've felt better knowing I wished Lucy goodbye properly. By the way, when you see Abby, can you please tell me if she brings up anything about Lucy?" Carter asked.
"I hate to violate doctor patient confidentiality, but in this case I will. I'll page you when I'm finished. See you later Dr.Carter." Kim said.
With that she got up and left. Carter sat for a moment thinking about what she had said. Maybe she was right, maybe he wasn't crazy after all. At least not crazy enough to be locked up untill kingdom come. Soon he too got up and left, in search of the ER.
Abby heard a faint knock on the door. Legaspi. No one but a psychiatrist would take it upon themselves to ensure Abby was perfectly comfortable before entering the room. Not even Carter.
"Come in." Abby said just loud enough for Dr.Legaspi to hear.
"Good morning Abby. How are you today?" Kim asked as she took a seat beside Abby's bed.
"Much better than the last time we spoke." Abby smiled.
"Good to hear. Now tell me, do you remember much after the incident?" Dr.Legaspi inquired.
"More by the day. I've been having nightmares, too. And strange dreams." Abby admitted.
"What kind of dreams?" Kim asked.
"A few choice ones about what happened that day, and this may sound strange, and it has nothing to do with anything but I had one dream about Lucy." Abby continued.
"I see. Do you want to tell me about it?" Dr.Legaspi said.
"Well, I think I dreamt it while I was in surgery. There was this flash of bright light, and when it faded someone was walking towards me. When they got closer I noticed it was Lucy. She told me I would get through the surgery just fine, and I would go on to have a full and happy life with Carter. She also said my life would soon be back to normal. That's when we said our goodbyes and it all went black again. I've felt much better now knowing I had a chance to say a real goodbye. Before that I felt like I'd let her go without telling her I'd miss her." Abby finished, sobbing quietly.
"It's normal for us to recall our greatest tragedies at a time of trauma and despair. You just related what happened to Lucy to what you were feeling at the time. Your troubles have helped you get over what you had been fighting with since Lucy's death, as well." Dr.Legaspi explained.
"I suppose..." Abby said lightly.
"Tell me now, what do you remember of the time you were being held against your will." Dr.Legaspi asked quietly.
"Everything. I remember him telling me to shut up, then calling Carter repeatedly, telling him to find out where his wife was. Then he let me talk to John. I thought I might never see him again. Soon Jack called a friend over, and then they-" Abby trailed off, sobs racking her body.
"Then they what, Abby? I know it's hard, but if you tell me now, it'll be easier after, and you'll be able to move on sooner." Dr.Legaspi questioned further.
"Then they tied me up, quieted me, and raped me. Oh God it was horrible! They were inside me, and I felt so dirty! I felt useless and unloved! I felt hated, and undeserving of life. Then they beat me. As if it wasn't enough to make me feel worthless, they left me with scars to remind me of it!" Abby said, going into full blown hysterics.
"Shh. It's okay. Calm down, Abby. You're safe here, now. Nothing can happen. You are NOT worthless, or undeserving! Carter loves you more than life itself, and I know he wouldn't want you to feel like this. Everyone down in the ER is praying for you, and hoping that you'll feel better." Dr.Legaspi soothed as she rubbed Abby's back with one hand.
Abby just cried harder. Suddenly there was a loud beeping. Abby's monitors were all going off. Here sats were down, and her pulse was way up. Kim panicked. She ran over to the phone and paged Drs. Dorset, Romano, and Corday. A few seconds later, two out of three burst in the door. Dr.Romano had been caught up in surgery. Again.
"What happened here?" Asked Elizabeth frantically.
"We were talking about her encounter, and she got hysterical. Suddenly her sats were falling and her heart rate was out of control. I tried to calm her down but I couldn't." Dr.Legaspi responded.
"Alright, go find Dr.Carter. We'll take care of this." Elizabeth answered and ushered Kim out the door.
As she walked towards the ER, Kim felt like it was all her fault. Abby was in danger of losing her life, again, because of her this time.
Back In Recovery;
"Her pressure's way up, 190/85. Sats are 79, and she's tachycardic at 126." Dr.Dorset listed.
"There's too much strain on her diaphragm, she can't breathe on her own. We're going to have to intubate." Ordered
"Get me a 7.0 E.T. tube, NOW!" Yelled Dr.Dorset.
"Give her point five of valium, and a mig of epi!" Elizabeth instructed.
They worked frantically for a few minutes, untill they managed to get Abby stablilized and sedated. Soon, Carter rammed the door and busted into the room.
"What happened? Is she okay?" He yelled frantically.
"Relax, calm down, Carter. She's fine now." soothed.
"What, why...?" Carter tried to make sense of it all.
"The session was too overwhelming for her. Dr.Legaspi thinks it's best we hold off for a while, at least untill she's out of the hospital and healed up a bit." answered.
"Yeah, okay..." Carter said, still in shock.
"We'll be back to check on her later. See you, Dr.Carter." Dr.Dorset said.
"Bye." Carter replied.
With that the two surgeons left. Dr.Legaspi stood outside the room and looked in through the window. She should have known better. She shouldn't have made Abby relive it so soon. Abby almost died because of her, and it was eating away at her. She knocked gently on the door.
"Come in." Said Carter, his voice raspy and his eyes filled with tears.
"How's she doing?" Kim asked.
"Better. Her sats are up, and her pulse is normal." Carter answered.
"I'm so sorry. I should have waited untill she was stronger. I understand if you're angry with me." Dr.Legaspi explained.
"It's okay. I'm not angry, just relieved that she's okay. It wasn't your fault. Abby wouldn't have agreed to this session if she didn't think she was strong enough. She just misjudged it a little. It was an honest mistake on both your accounts." Carter said sympathetically.
"I'll feel better once I get the chance to apologize to Abby personally. For now I should get back upstairs. I hope she's alright soon. See you, Dr.Carter." Kim said.
"See you later." Carter responded.
Kim left with a feeling of guilt, still weighing heavily on her soul.
Carter sat by Abby's bed, looking for a sign of life. For any small indication as to which would mean Abby was still here, with him. Would she be the same when she woke up, or would she be more shy, would she want to be alone? Would she be frightened? All these questions floated unanswered in Carter's mind. For the second time in this ordeal, he didn't know what to do. He didn't know whether life would continue like nothing had happened, or whether it would never be the same. He just didn't know, and he was scared.
A.N.: Did you like that one? It took me almost a week to write it! I'm getting writers block again! Oh no! Ha ha, just kidding, but it might take me longer to post the next one, since I have some more work to do since I became vice president of human resources at my company, Mirage. No, seriously. Long story. Anyways, thanks for all your great reviews, and it's a miracle I haven't been flamed (not that I actually WANT to be)! Thanks to my loyal readers, and all those new to the fic. Keep it up, and I'll post more soon! So far I have 45 chapters planned, but it could be more! Love my readers! –Julia-