Bad Karma
Carby. Something happens to Abby. Will Carter get to her in time? Will he be able to save her? Read on to find out!
A.N.: I'm not the original author of this story. The original author is carby luva 313. She's decided she doesn't have enough time to write, so she's giving me the honor of finishing it for her. I hope I can do as good a job!
Disclaimer: I do not own ER. It belongs to Michael Crichton and the other members of the production team.
Chapter 17: Forgiveness
Carter had stayed up extremely late, watching Abby unblinkingly the whole time. Still no signs of life. He had fallen asleep around three in the morning. When he woke up it was light outside. He glanced at his watch, nine thirty six. For a second Carter was confused about where he was, but he soon realized he was beside Abby's bed. He quickly glanced over. She was either sleeping, or still out from the drugs. Her body was so weak after the surgery, she could be out for days in a drug induced coma. He gently tried to wake her.
"Abby, come on, open your eyes. I miss you, angel, and I need you here." He said as he gently shook her.
Still he got no response. He was hungry, and in desperate need of caffeine, but never the less decided to stay with Abby. If she woke up alone she might get scared. She needed Carter to be there for her, now. He was still tired, and his head felt heavy. It lolled from side to side as sleep started to overtake him again. Suddenly, there was a beep from a monitor. Carter looked up. Abby was triggering the vent. She was waking up!
"Abby, can you hear me? Come on, wake up sweetie." He pleaded.
She heard him full well, but didn't have the strength to open her eyes, or even squeeze his hand. She decided to let him know by trying to breathe on her own. She wanted this damned tube out, anyway. The monitor gave another beep, and then a few more as Abby fought to breathe on her own.
"Abby, I know it's hard but you have to open your eyes. Come on, I know you can do it." Carter reassured her.
With all the strength she could muster, Abby forced open her eyes, and gently squeezed Carter's hand.
"Welcome back to the world of the living. Now, just relax. Don't fight the vent, let it work. One of the surgeons will be in soon to see you, I'm sure." Carter explained.
Abby blinked in response. Carter leaned in and gently kissed the top of her head. Abby found more strength than she thought she had, and she pulled Carter into a weak hug. He gently hugged her back, not wanting to do any more damage.
"You really scared me. I thought I might lose you. I couldn't go on knowing I could never hold you, never kiss you again. I love you, and you have to know that." Carter said, with tears starting to shine in his eyes.
Abby took a stronger grip on his hand. She wanted so much right now to tell him how much she loved him back, and how much she needed him. Just then, entered.
"Hello Abby, wonderful to see you're awake. How are you feeling this morning?" Elizabeth asked sincerely.
Abby nodded in response. For the second time within a week, it was all she could manage. Carter smiled up at
"I know I don't stand a snowman's chance in hell of persuading you to leave, Dr.Carter, so I'll let you stay just for this time. Now, let's just get some questions answered first." Elizabeth explained.
"Thank you, " Carter returned.
"Right then, let's get on with this. What time did she wake up around?" asked Carter.
"It was around nine forty, or nine forty five, to the best of my recollection." Carter responded.
"Alright, that's not too bad then. The drug dosage combined with the increased stress you're experiencing at this point probably had something to do with the delay in consciousness." Elizabeth explained as she scribbled some notes down in her chart.
This was the third time in a week that Abby was waking up and having to start over. It felt like her whole world was collapsing down around her. Again the independence, the hopelessness, the vulnerability and the weakness. Carter saw a great sadness in Abby's eyes that had never been there before. He gave her hand a comforting squeeze and smiled at her reassuringly. If it wasn't for Carter, Abby didn't know what she'd do.
"Okay, can you answer some questions for me first? Just nod yes or no." Elizabeth instructed.
Abby nodded her assent. Carter sat anxiously awaiting the verdict. All the questions were soon answered, and it was as good as can be expected. Abby gripped John's hand tightly while examined her. It was the same old boring routine. Hopefully Elizabeth would be able to take out the breathing tube.
"Alright Abby, almost everything is perfect. Your breath sounds are much better after the epi and re-intubation. The only thing I see the need to monitor closely is your blood pressure. I know it's an especially hard time for you now, but it still shouldn't be this high. I'll keep an eye on it and perscribe something if it doesn't come down soon." said concernedly.
Abby blinked in response. She was just about to gesture for her tube to be taken out when spoke again.
"I know you want that horrible thing out, but I'm not taking any chances. It's for your own good. I'll come by later and take it out if I'm satisfied you'll be able to handle it. Oh, and no more psyche sessions untill you're fully healed and out of the hospital, alright?" Elizabeth inquired.
Abby let out a sigh of relief. She nodded her head and smiled. She didn't have to relive that horrible moment again for a while. For that she was thankful. scribbled a few notes on the chart and put it in the slot at the foot of Abby's bed.
"That's everything. Now I just want you to relax, if you need anything I'm a page away. I'll come by to re-asess you later. See you both." said.
With that she was gone. Abby and Carter were finally alone together. Carter was glad there were always people there to watch over Abby, but he missed their privacy and quality time. Besides, he was more than capable of taking care of her if she was to be released early.
-Elsewhere;-
Dr.Legaspi stood in the elevator on the short ride down to the recovery rooms. The ride went all too quickly for her liking. She didn't know why, but she was going to see Abby. Maybe it was still too soon, but she had to explain what happened from her point of view, and apologize for nearly costing Abby her life. She now knew what Carter felt like, with the weight of a mistake heavy on her chest. It was the same feeling John had carried everywhere for a few years, untill Lucy had forgiven him, so to speak. Kim had been so deep in thought she hadn't even realized she stood in front of the door to Abby's room. She felt nervous, but knocked on the door regardless.
"Come in." Carter instructed.
Kim found herself pushing open the door, immediately regretting her decision. Sure she wanted a clean conscience, but it was far too early. Maybe she deserved to live with the guilt for a while. Oh well, too late now.
"Hello. How are you feeling, Abby?" Kim asked nervously.
Abby smiled weakly and gave a thumbs up. Kim returned the smile.
"Good, I'm glad you're feeling better. I was wondering if I could have a word with you, alone, for a minute." Kim stuttered.
Carter gave her a curious look. After all, had said no consults untill Abby was well. It must be something else. He looked down at Abby and kissed her forehead.
"Alright sweetie, I'll let you girls talk for a bit. I'll be right outside if you need me. Call me when you're done." Carter said quietly.
With one last squeeze of encouragement he let go of Abby's hand and left the room. He slid down against the wall outside and waited to be invited back in.
Dr.Legaspi took Carter's post at Abby's bedside. She looked down at Abby, trying to identify any trace of discomfort, or hatred on her part. There was no sign of any such emotion, so she decided to speak.
"Abby, I'm here to tell you I'm sorry. I shouldn't have rushed you like that, into retelling me everything. I almost cost you your life. I know it's probably difficult, but please forgive me. It would have killed me had I lost you." Kim explained.
Abby looked up at her. Kim had tears streaming down her cheeks. Abby's eyes started to well up at the sight of her. She smiled and took Kim's hand. She gave it an encouraging squeeze. Abby reached for a notepad on her bedside table. With her free hand she scribbled: don't worry about it, I'm fine. Kim looked down at Abby and smiled through her tears.
"I-I thought you'd be angry with me, nearly killing you." Kim gasped, releasing the breath she hadn't realized she was holding.
Of course not, Abby wrote.
"Thank you." Kim said.
For what? Abby scribbled.
"The gift of forgiveness, as little as I deserve it." Kim said as she cried her last tears.
Of course you deserve it. It wasn't your fault. I should have told you I wasn't ready. Please don't worry over it for even a second longer. Abby wrote.
"It wasn't either of our faults then. I promise I won't think about it anymore. I'd better get Dr.Carter back in here, before he gets sick with worry out there. I'll see you later. Get well." Kim said.
Abby waved her goodbye. Kim got up and walked to the door, glad she came in to talk to Abby. She was feeling much better than she had before the visit. She opened the door and walked out into the hall.
Abby wondered why Kim had felt so responsible for her near-death. Nothing happened, everything was okay now, and it would all be back to normal soon. At least now Kim would feel better, too.
Carter was in the same spot on the floor as he had been as soon as he'd left the recovery room. He looked up when Kim stepped over to him.
"What was that all about?" He asked curiously.
"Just a little weight lifting." Kim smiled, referring to the weight that had been lifted from her soul, of course.
Carter looked at her bewildered and lost for words as she walked away. Weight lifting? Oh well. He entered Abby's room. She smiled up at him as he took his familiar place by her bed. Abby slipped her hand into his. It felt so good being there. They both sighed contentedly.
Over the next couple of hours, the entire ER roster had come by for another visit. Everyone wanted to make sure their favourite nurse was still with them. Soon both Abby and Carter had grown tired of the constant interruptions. Just when they thought it was safe, came in.
"Hello again. How was your day?" She asked the both of them.
"Long." Carter answered.
Abby motioned to Carter, trying to get her message of yeah, what he said across.
"Join the club. Getting to the point, has there been any change in Abby's condition over the course of the day?" asked Carter.
"Not to the best of my knowledge." Carter answered.
"Okay. Your vitals are good, let's just get your blood pressure and breath sounds. If I'm happy with your progress, I'll extubate." Elizabeth explained.
Abby nodded. Carter slid his chair back to allow easy and convenient access to wrapped the BP cuff around Abby's arm, being careful not to dislodge any lines or monitor leads.
"Well, your blood pressure has come down, but it's still above normal. If it doesn't improve by the time you get discharged, I'm perscribing you something for it. Let's check your breath sounds now." Elizabeth said sympathetically.
Abby sat up in bed, with a little help from Carter. She was still a little weak from the drugs. Besides, she felt more comfortable having his hands on her when she was so exposed and vulnerable. quickly finished her exam, noticing Abby wasn't exactly comfortable with it. She wanted to lie and say Abby should stay on the ventilator, so that there wouldn't be another episode, but she also took into consideration the stress it was causing Abby to be hooked up to every machine known to man. She sighed deeply before speaking again.
"Alright, I see no reason to keep that tube in. Lie back, you know the drill. On my count. One, two, three, blow." instructed.
Abby gagged and coughed for a couple of seconds before Carter handed her a glass of water. She took a few sips and set it down on her bedside table. She wanted to thank , but she knew better than to speak right after being extubated. She just smiled up at the surgeon instead.
"You're welcome. I'll be in to see you tomorrow. Good night." said.
With that she was gone. Carter fixed his gaze on Abby.
"I bet you're glad that's over." He laughed.
"You bet I am." She smiled back.
"Hopefully you'll never need to go through that again." Carter said quietly.
"No kidding. Can you do me a favour?" Abby asked.
"Sure, anything." Carter replied.
"Page Dr.Legaspi for me. There's something I need to tell her." Abby explained.
"Sure." Carter said.
He walked over to the phone and pressed in the number of Kim's pager. A few minutes later she strode into the room.
"Oh hello Abby, great to see you're feeling better, being extubated. What was it you needed?" Kim asked kindly.
"Just to tell you something-" she was interrupted by Carter.
"Do you want me to leave?" He asked.
"No, it's okay." Abby said.
"Go on then." Carter replied.
Kim looked at her intently, while Carter busied himself with a spot on the ceiling. He tried hard not to listen in on the conversation.
"I just wanted to tell you, now that I can in the flesh, that it's okay. It wasn't your fault and I'm absolutely okay with it. Don't you think on it any more." Abby said reassuringly with a smile.
"Thanks, Abby." Was all Kim could say.
Carter hadn't heard a word of the conversation. He respected Abby's privacy, even though she didn't mind if he'd heard. Just then Kim's pager went off. Good thing because Carter had found there wasn't much interesting about a spot on the ceiling.
"Sorry, I'd better get going. Another lunatic in the ER. See you later!" Kim said.
"Bye." Abby returned.
With that Kim whirled around on her heel and left the room. Carter finally looked down at Abby again.
"What's so interesting up there?" She asked.
"Not much." He replied.
Carter pulled Abby into a warm embrace. He pulled away slightly, just enough to give her a kiss.
"What a day, huh?" Carter asked.
"Oh but it was." Abby said.
That night the two stayed up for a long time, talking about their plans for after Abby got sprung from the hospital. Carter was going to take some more time off to take care of her at home, and then they might go on vacation somewhere Abby suggested. Carter had other plans...
A.N.: Did you like that chapter? I hope it wasn't too redundant with some of the sayings and actions. I can't help it lately, I'm blocked. Sorry it took so long to get this one up. I'll post the next one soon! Please review! Thanks to everyone loyal to the story, those of you who are new, please bear with me too! Love my readers! –Julia-