Bad Karma

Carby. Something happens to Abby. Will Carter get to her in time? Will he be able to save her? Read on to find out!

A.N.: I'm not the original author of this story. The original author is carby luva 313. She's decided she doesn't have enough time to write, so she's giving me the honour of finishing it for her. I hope I can do as good a job!

Disclaimer: I do not own ER. It belongs to Michael Crichton and the other members of the production team.

Chapter 21: Welcome Back

Abby woke up to the sun shining in her window. Last night was great, and Abby was surprised that she could actually make love with Carter after her tragedies. It felt great. A passion existed between them like never before. With Carter, Abby didn't feel used, or worthless. It was something special. It was more than just fulfilling her physical desires, it was deeply emotional. Making love with Carter didn't feel wrong, it was exactly the opposite. It felt so right. Abby thought it would bring back memories of Jack Conner, but it didn't. This was different. This was a good thing. Carter was gentle and loving, not harsh and hurtful. She sighed contently and smiled, remembering, as she fell back against her pillows.

Today, she was going back to where this whole nightmare began a few back. Abby turned her head and looked at the alarm clock. It was 6:30am. They had slept through the wake up call. She turned over to wake Carter.

"John, get up! We're going to be late for work! For God sakes GET UP!" Abby yelled.

Carter blinked a few times and yawned. He looked puzzled.

"It's 6:30, we're going to be late! Come on, let's get dressed." Abby shouted.

"Alright, alright. I'm up." Carter said.

He slowly got up and slinked out of the room. Abby got up and ran around furiously, looking for her scrubs. She quickly brushed her teeth, washed her face, and brushed her hair. There was no time to take a shower now. After that she got dressed in record time. She was down in the kitchen two minutes later. As Abby was drinking her coffee at light speed, Carter ambled into the kitchen.

"Hurry up, John, we're going to be late!" Abby shouted.

"Alright, give me a second." Carter mumbled.

"I would if I had one!" Abby exclaimed.

After a very rushed breakfast, Abby and Carter piled into his jeep and sped off down the road to County. The traffic was hideous. After an hour of screaming furious insults at the other drivers, Carter finally pulled into his parking space at the hospital. Before he even had time to turn off the ignition, Abby had taken off at top speed toward the door. Carter sighed and caught up with her. When he reached her by the door, he noticed she was shaking slightly.

"Are you okay?" He asked while placing his hands on her shoulders.

"I-I think so. It's just, hard. This is where this whole nightmare started. I don't know if I can stand it in there, John." Abby sobbed.

"Do you want to go back home? I can call Weaver and tell her you can't come in today." Carter suggested.

"No. If I leave now, I might never find the courage to come back." Abby resolved.

"Okay then, take your time. I'm here with you the whole way." Carter reassured.

Slowly but surely, Abby took a step towards the door. Then another. Soon she found herself inside. Carter was holding her hand and occasionally giving her a comforting squeeze. There was still the elevator before they reached the ER. Once they were inside, Abby had to take deep breaths to steady herself. She used to feel safe travelling this same path, but now that wasn't an option. She kept her guard up even though odds of something similar happening again were less than zero. All too soon, the elevator came to a halt and Carter ushered Abby out. They were greeted cheerily from all sides as they strode towards the lounge. When they entered they ran straight into Kerry.

"John, Abby. Hello. Good to see you again Abby." She smiled.

"Hello Dr.Weaver." Abby returned.

"How are you?" Dr.Weaver inquired.

"I suppose I've been better." Abby sighed.

"Mmm hmm. Sorry, I have to go. I'll see you later, hope your first day back goes well!" Kerry said.

"Bye." Carter and Abby said in unison.

The two of them quietly put away their things and adourned their hospital equipment. Abby leaned up against her locker and silently prayed to herself. Carter noticed this and walked over to her. He slipped his arms around Abby's waist. She was glad she had him to lean on, in any case. After a few more minutes of mentally assuring herself Abby disattached herself from Carter and took her first steps out of the lounge.

It felt strange being back at the scene of the crime. Everything looked so much more threatening now than it used to. People's eyes seemed to be tracing her every move, and it made Abby very uncomfortable. She mentally cursed herself for wanting to come back to this place so early. Before she had time to think any more of it, Luka called her into an incoming high- speed MVA.

Abby ran up and grabbed the side of the gurney. She listened intently as the paramedics gave them the bullet. It had been a high-speed MVA, police chase. The police were close behind, they wanted to question the victims. As they burst through the trauma room doors, Abby felt a new sense of excitement. She was back at work, doing what she did best. Helping other people like she herself had needed help weeks before.

"Get him 100 of lydocaine and 50 of heparin. Squeeze in 2 units of o-neg and cross type for four. Get him 4 units of type specific. Bag him on 100 oxygen." Luka shouted as he intubated.

Abby was busy carrying out his orders, and shouting at the police men who had just arrived to wait outside.

"His pressure's dropping!" Haleh pointed out.

"Damnit, he must be bleeding out. Page surgery and tell them we have a massive abdominal hemmorhage. Get me a thoracotamy tray!" Luka instructed.

Abby did as she was told and stood back as Luka performed the procedure. She like the giving end of medicine much better than the recieveing end, gruesome as it may be. A couple of seconds later, and Romano burst into the room.

"What have we got?" Elizabeth inquired as she gowned up.

"Thirty six year old male, high-speed MVA auto versus semi. Massive abdominal hemmorhage, hypotensive and tacchycardic at 160. Damnit he's going into v-fib!" Luka exclaimed.

"Someone get me the internal paddles!" Romano screamed.

"Charge to 20. CLEAR! Okay, charge to 30! CLEAR!" Luka ordered.

"Asystole." announced.

"Okay, that's it. Call it." Luka said.

"Time of death, 10:46." Robert stated.

Just then, Dr.Weaver entered the room.

"The girl's dead, too. The driver of the semi has a minor scalp lac." She announced.

Haleh pulled a sheet over the body as everyone else stripped themselves of their trauma attire. Soon the room was clear of everyone except Abby and Luka. Before they had a chance to make themselves scarce, a police officer entered the room to talk to them.

"Hello, I'm officer Knightley. I understand you worked on one of the victims, the driver." The policeman stated.

"Yes, we did." Luka replied.

"What exactly happened?" Abby asked.

"It was a chase. The victim's car slammed into a semi, we didn't get an I.D. on the driver. All we know is he kidnapped the girl he was with three days ago. He was spotted on the freeway and the other officers chased him further into the city where he ran a red light and hit an eighteen wheeler." Knightley replied.

Abby's face suddenly went chalk white. She mumbled something incoherent before turning and sprinting off into the empty adjacent trauma room. Luka noticed her reaction and followed, apologizing to the officer for having to leave. The officer didn't mind, there wasn't much else Luka could do for him anyway.

Abby was sitting against the back wall of the trauma room. Her knees were pulled up to her chest, which she was clutching for safety. She was crying and hyperventilating. Luka hurried over to her and knelt down. He pulled her into a hug, quickly checking her pulse to make sure she wasn't having an anxiety attack. Abby held onto him for dear life. Officer Knightley's story had reminded her of that one fateful day she was abducted, and she realized it could have been her. As she cried Luka whispered quiet words of comfort to her.

"Ja chu zashtititi te kapuljachan khandze ja chu drzhati vampir tvoje vrate." Luka whispered.

Abby had no idea what the words meant, but she was comforted by them nevertheless. She was just glad someone was here to keep her safe for the timebeing. Luka pulled back slightly and brushed some loose hair away from Abby's face. She was still sobbing lightly in his arms. After a few minutes she was calm again. Luka's pager picked the best time to go off. He looked up as he turned it off.

"Sorry Abby, I have to go. There's another trauma coming in. Stay here for a while if you need to, I'll make sure they take the victim to trauma one. I'll see you later." Luka said sincerely.

Abby nodded and Luka kissed the top of her head. She watched him as he stood up and stalked out of the room. Abby was glad he had been there to comfort her.

Outside the room, Elizabeth stood watching through the glass. She was contemplating whether or not to go inside. She entered against her better judgement. Abby needed someone there, and Elizabeth was glad to oblige. Abby slowly lifted her head when she saw a sliver of light from outside creep across the floor. The trauma room door closed and Abby found herself in Elizabeth's company. slid down onto the floor beside Abby and put a hand on her shoulder. Abby tried her best not to cry, but knew it wouldn't do her good not to express her emotion. After a couple of seconds, she looked up at Elizabeth. gave Abby a small smile, encouraging her to speak. Abby took a deep calming breath and spoke.

"I don't know what happened. One mintue I was fine, but suddenly the information hit home and I couldn't stand it. It was like reliving the whole event from your perspective, and it's scary. I felt like it was happening again. Will I ever be back to normal?" Abby asked exasperatedly.

"I promise you will be. It may take quite some time, but you will be. You will carry on with your life like nothing ever happened. The one thing you will always be burdened with, however, is the memory. Not necessarily fear, but memory. You will remember everything, but the sharpness of the details will fade in time. You will look back on it as a small disruption in your life, and eventually overlook it completely. Untill that day comes, we will all be here to help in any way we can. To be with you in times you remember, or fear, and in times you push it aside to just have fun. No matter what happens, you are in the company of people who love you very much and pray for your life to go on smoothly." Elizabeth soothed.

"I just want it to be over now. I don't want to wait. I'm afraid the nightmares will come back, the flashbacks will never end, and the feeling of their bodies on mine will never fade. I'm afraid of what the future holds for me. Whether I will ever be able to look at cases like this and do my part in helping without being taken back to that day. Oh Elizabeth, it all just seems so real now. Before, I tried denying that anything happened, but now I have no choice but to face it. I'm so scared." Abby said, tears starting to stream down her cheeks again, and her voice quivering.

"I know you're scared. Scared to have to relive that nightmare. Scared to look each victim in the face and see yourself reflected in their eyes. Scared to be weak. Scared to let fear and emotion run your life forever. I'm scared too. Scared that you'll hide from your problems again. Scared that you'll feel we're not enough of a source of comfort. Scared of holding your life in my hands again. John is scared. He's scared of losing you again. Scared of having to let you go. He, too, is scared of seeing the sadness in your eyes, and they eyes of patients that are in your situation. Everyone is scared, but they put on a brave face, and do what they can to help you get through the day. The only person that can really make a difference, however, is you. If you believe you will be okay, that you will move on, this will end much sooner. The transition back into a normal life will come as suddenly as the transition to a life of remorse. Be brave, Abby, and the rest will follow." reassured.

"But it's hard. Hard to move on, hard to feel safe, hard to feel brave. I don't know if I can do it." Abby said unsurely.

"I believe in you. Carter believes in you. All that really counts is that you believe in yourself. Promise me that one thing." Elizabeth said softly.

"All I can promise is I'll try my best." Abby said sadly.

"That's all I ask." Elizabeth smiled.

"Thanks." Abby said, wiping away the last of her tears.

Elizabeth smiled at Abby proudly as both their pagers went off. It looked like there was a penetrating chest trauma coming in, and they needed all the help they could get. Elizabeth got up and held out a hand to help Abby. She took it and stood up, leaning against the counter for momentary support. The two women walked out and headed for the trauma room to get gowned up. When they entered, Luka, Kerry, Chuny and Haleh were already there. Chuny helped Elizabeth get her gown on, while Luka helped Abby. He smiled at her warmly, thanking God she looked better. Abby smiled back to assure him she was fine. Just then, the trauma room door burst open and Carter, Doris, and Zadro wheeled the patient in.

As the paramedics gave them the bullet, Abby automatically reached for the drug box and other necessities. She did everything as the doctors ordered. After twenty hectic minutes, filled with shouts of instructions and drawls from monitors signalling a flatline, Elizabeth, Luka, and Chuny wheeled the patient up to surgery. The four others remained and discarded their trauma attire. Kerry and Haleh left Carter and Abby alone in the now empty room. Carter walked over to Abby and took her in his arms. She melted into his warm embrace. Abby looked up and met his sparkling brown eyes. They were full of love and pride. Abby smiled, knowing everything he felt towards her. The two of them kissed passionately before walking out towards admit, hand in hand.

When they reached admit, the board was almost empty. There were only a few patients, all with minor complaints. Chairs was desolate. Abby pictured a few lone tumbleweeds blowing by and chuckled to herself. This caused Carter to turn his attention to her.

"What was that about?" He asked.

"Nothing, it's just so quiet. A good first day." Abby smiled.

"Why don't we go over to Doc Magoo's for some coffee?" Carter asked.

"Sounds good to me." Abby agreed.

They held hands on the way out. Abby noticed all the staff had made themselves scarce. The doctors were tending to patients, hoping to clear the board sooner, and the nurses were nowhere in sight. Probably having coffee in the lounge. As they were approaching the door, they heard a shout.

"You two can take your time, doesn't look like we have much use for you right now. If something big comes up, I'll page you." Weaver shouted.

"Thanks Kerry." Abby smiled.

When they got across the street, Carter and Abby walked into the diner and sat in a booth near the window. Carter reached across the table and took Abby's small, delicate hands in his. They were big and manly, but surprisingly gentle. Abby smiled, and silently prayed she could spend the rest of her life with him. He was her greatest source of comfort, whether he knew it or not.

"What can I get for you today?" The waitress asked, seemingly apparating out of thin air.

"Two large coffees please. Both with cream, one no sugar." Carter said.

"Coming right up." The waitress replied, popping her bubblegum.

"Is it a pre-requisite that you have to be a squeaky voiced, big breasted, blonde haired, bubblegum chewing sleaze to work in a diner?" Abby asked.

"It seems that way." Carter laughed.

A few minutes later, the sleazy waitress came back with their coffees. After she walked away, Carter and Abby burst into fits of giggles again. They managed to muffle them in their coffee. After a few more sips of coffee wannabe, Carter spoke.

"So, how's your first day back been so far?" Carter inquired.

Abby hesitated before deciding to be completely honest. Carter deserved to know the truth. After all, he had been her safety net these entire past few weeks. She sighed deeply before continuing.

"Okay I guess. I hit a rough patch, but I'm fine now. Thanks to Luka and Elizabeth." Abby said offhandedly, avoiding Carter's gaze.

"What happened? Why didn't you come find me?" Carter asked quietly, the concern evident in his voice and expression.

"You know the MVA that came in earlier? Well, both the driver and passenger died of their injuries. It turns out the driver had taken the girl hostage..." Abby trailed off.

"Go on." Carter assured, giving her hand an encouraging squeeze.

"When I realized I was on your side of the situation, a few weeks back, it scared me. I felt for myself what you felt for me. Worry, fear, guilt..." Abby sighed.

"I know how awful that is, trust me. Every possible emotion ran through me at some point during that time. Fear, anger, remorse, pride, euphoria, and a barrel full of others. I hated it for the mostpart. However, I don't regret it. When I got you back all of that was ebolished and I felt alive. Emotions are what make us human." Carter said knowingly.

"Sometimes I wonder whether life wouldn't be better as a barnacle..." Abby joked.

"Oh trust me, it wouldn't be." Carter said, leaning in to kiss her.

Once they pulled away, they decided to go back to work. On their way out, Carter paid the bill. They stepped out into a warm spring rain. It was a nice change from the constant snowfall. They held hands and ran across the street back to the hospital. Once they got inside, they noticed that chairs was still empty. The number of patients was the same, but a few names had changed. The admit desk was desolate aside from Randi, who was painting her nails a vivid firecracker red.

"Where is everyone?" Carter asked.

"I don't know, check the lounge." Randi said distractedly.

Abby and Carter turned and headed for the lounge. Neither of them noticed Randi following them, as another clerk filled in for her at the desk. It was a quiet day, but on days like these the staff usually kept themselves busy playing some stupid improvised version of a sport. Abby stepped into the lounge before Carter. It was completely dark inside. As she fumbled for the light switch, Carter flipped it on instead.

"SURPRISE!" Everyone shouted.

Abby was shocked. There were signs and banners everywhere. There was a small table with gifts on it, and another larger table with food. Abby smiled at everyone and turned to look at Carter for a second.

"Wow, thanks you guys." She said in awe.

"We just thought we'd make your first day back one to remember. In a good sense, that is." Carter explained.

"It's the best day back anyone could ever ask for." Abby smiled.

"So, still think life would be better as a barnacle?" Carter asked.

"Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies." Abby said enigmatically.

Everyone had a great time at the party. No patients were coming in, and most of the ones from before had gone. They decided Abby should open her presents like she would at a birthday, in front of everyone. They all took a seat somewhere in the lounge as Abby dropped onto the couch. Carter handed her the first package. It was a small box wrapped in a pale pink wrapping paper with gold lettering saying 'welcome back' in a curvy font. Abby untied the ribbon and tore the sides of the package. She pulled away the last of the wrapping paper. It was a book. Chicken Soup for the Survivors Soul.

"Who is this one from? There was no tag." Abby asked.

"Check inside, maybe there's a message." Carter suggested.

Abby flipped open the front cover and found a message. It was written in black ink, with a quill by the looks of it. Abby read the message aloud.

"Dear Abby. Welcome back. I hope you had a good recovery. I thought this book might help you to see you're not alone in what you're feeling. There are others out there just like you. They share your emotion and your pain. They also share in the love and caring of the friends they surround themselves with. We all love you forever. God bless. Dr.Elizabeth Corday." Abby finished.

She had tears in her eyes. She looked up and saw Elizabeth smiling at her from the front of the crowd. Abby stood up and motioned for her to step over. Once got passed the crowd on the floor, Abby put her arms around the surgeon. She thanked her and sat back down. Carter handed her the next gift. This one didn't have a nametag either. It was a tiny box wrapped in deep blue paper. Abby carefully peeled away the tape and unravelled the paper. Inside was a blood red velvet box. When she opened it up, she discovered the box held a silver necklace with a dove charm. In it was embedded a tiny ruby. Abby pulled the necklace out to put it on. When she was tugging, the top of the box came loose, and a note fell out from underneath. Abby cleared her throat and read it out loud.

"May this dove bring you comfort and keep you safe. E.Dorset." Abby recited.

She turned to see the surgeon smiling at her. Abby handed him the necklace and he clipped it on. After that she turned around and embraced him.

"Thank you." Abby said.

Edward smiled at her and turned to go back to his place in the crowd. After Abby got settled in again and everyone managed to close their mouths, Carter handed Abby another gift. This one was big and oddly shaped. It was wrapped in gold foil and felt soft. Abby pulled away the overwrap. The reason it was soft was because it had been covered in cloth. Abby pulled the cloth open at the top to reveal a picture of angels gathered around a young girl. She was standing on a cloud with her arms open, and the sun was setting behind them. It was painted in oil based paint and framed with ebony. It was absolutely beautiful. Underneath the picutre was a caption written in jet black ink, in cursive. Abby was breathless as she took in the beauty of the picture, so Carter read the caption instead.

"We all need somebody to lean on and something to fall back on." Carter read.

"Who's the artist?" Abby asked.

Everyone leaned in to take a closer look. Upon closer inspection Abby realized the girl in the picture was her. The angels were Carter, Dr.Dorset, Elizabeth, Susan, and Dr.Romano. Kerry got a dawning look of comprehension on her face after staring at the signature for a minute.

"Oh my gosh, Rocket!" She gasped.

Abby looked up. Dr.Romano was trying to sneak out of the lounge to hide the blush that had spread across his cheeks. Abby got up and vaulted the couch. She pulled him into a tight hug. Everyone gaped at him, open- mouthed. He simply shook his head and smiled.

"I can't be a hard assed bastard ALL the time. Even I need a little 'nice time' sometimes." He said before turning to leave.

Everyone's mouths fell open again as they gazed at the surgeon. He smiled and walked back over to Abby. She put the painting aside and embraced him again. He rubbed her back assuringly and pulled away.

"I didn't know you were an artist!" Abby exclaimed.

"Neither did I untill I sat down with a paintbrush and easel. Inspiration came to me when I saw how much you needed us there for you, and I took that and expressed my assurance in a form of art. You very well know I'm not overly articulate, so I decided to try oil base." Dr.Romano said.

"Thank you." Abby smiled.

For what seemed like the hundredth time everyone sat back down. There were many more presents to go, but they decided to take a food break first. After finishing all the cake, cookies, punch, and other various treats, the ER staff all took their respective places again. Carter handed Abby the next gift.

Half and hour and seventeen gifts later, everyone had been thanked appropriately. Chairs had started filling up, and people were getting back to work. Carter and Abby's shifts were over. Malik and Yosh helped Carter carry the gifts to the car as Abby got ready to leave. When John came back he put away his lab coat and took out his jacket. He looked proudly at Abby.

"Come on, let's go home." He smiled, offering her his arm.

"Sounds good to me." Abby said, taking his hand.

All the way home, Carter told Abby how proud he was of her for being able to go back to work so soon. He told her that in his eyes, she was the most valiant person in the world. She was his vision of courage and strength. Abby smiled as Carter spoke.

When they arrived back at the Carter mansion, they went straight up to the bedroom to change. Abby discarded her scrubs and pulled on a pair of Carter's sweats and a white tank top. She fell back onto the bed and was engulfed in her bedsheets. Smiling to herself, she thought back to how wonderful everyone had been that day. Abby was glad she had gone back to work. A few seconds later, a knock on the door snapped her out of her reverie. The doorknob turned and Carter walked in. Abby propped herself up on her elbows and smiled at him. Carter smiled back.

"Want to get something to eat?" Carter asked.

"After that party? I'll be working that cake off for two weeks!" Abby laughed.

"Okay, I'm not hungry either then." Carter deadpanned.

Out of nowhere he got hit with a pillow. Abby giggled and rolled over to make room for Carter. He looked at her blankly for a second before recovering and jumping onto the bed. He pinned her arms and legs down and tickled her. Abby was laughing hysterically.

"No! John! St-stop! Please!" She choked.

"Only if you say the magic word!" Carter said.

"I love you!" Abby yelled.

"Actually, I was thinking pericardiosynthesis, but that's close enough." Carter joked.

"You suck, you know that Carter!" Abby laughed.

"Do I? We'll see about that!" Carter yelled and grabbed a pillow.

Abby got up and grabbed another one. She dashed across the room with Carter on her heels. He was beating her over the head with a pillow. Both of them had tears streaming down their cheeks from laughing so hard at the end. They embraced and fell backwards onto the bed. Carter looked at Abby. She was finally back to her normal self. Abby looked deep into John's eyes and smiled at their warmth. He reached out from under her and pulled a feather from the pillow fight out of her hair. Abby leaned in and they kissed passionately.

They lay awake, talking for a while before Abby's exhaustion had finally caught up with her. She laid her head on Carter's chest and fell asleep to the sound of his rythmic breathing. He lay awake and watched her for a while before finally drifting off himself...

There they would lay untill morning, when Trudy would come wake them up for their next early shift.


A.N.: Well, it's finally up! I'm sorry it took me so long, but I updated my other fic and I didn't have any ideas for this chapter. The Croatian sentence Luka whispered earlier means: I will protect you from the hooded claw, I will keep the vampires from your door. Thanks to everyone who has remained faithful to the story, and the reviewers! You know I love reviews, so please keep them coming! I promise to update sooner this time! –Julia-