The Perfect Date
By Elektra
Disclaimer: This story was written for fun and there is no intention of making a profit off of the properties of Toriyama, Funimation, DB/Z/GT, etc. Baby Hancha is a creation of a very wonderful writer, Kinomi.
Rated PG-13
Chapter 4
The flight home was painful, slow and silent. Neither Yamcha nor Marron spoke a word the entire trip. To make matters worse Yamcha had to stop every few miles to take a break. He was tired and his toe was throbbing the whole way.
Finally, they made it home. Yamcha landed on the balcony and set Marron down. She muttered terse, thanks, then knocked on the sliding glass door and called out hello. On the other side they could hear footsteps, giggling, a loud thump and more giggling. It was altogether suspicious.
"It's not your birthday is it?" He asked.
"No," she retorted.
"Is it our anniversary?"
""
"All that movement in there. It sounds like they're setting up a surprise party or something," he answered.
"Yamcha, it's almost midnight, kinda late for a surprise party don't you think?"
"Hey, you never know, they way things are going tonight" He waited for a moment, then pounded on the door. A wave of dizziness washed over him.
"Open up Krillen, we lost the keys okay? We can't get in." he croaked, wanting desperately to get in before he passed out.
There was another rush of movement before the door slid wide open causing his head to spin. When his vision swam back into focus, his worst nightmare played out in front of him.
Every woman he ever dated was standing in front of him wearing party hats and shouting "SURPRISE!" They giggled wildly when someone shouted, "Nice shorts, weakling!" It was Vegeta. He was standing next to Bulma who was cackling along with the rest of Yamcha's ex-girlfriends. Strangely enough they all began chanting, "Yam-chaYAM-CHA!"
"YAMCHA!"
Yamcha shook his head wildly for a moment. When he regain his focus there was only Krillen and Eighteen at the door.
'Kami!' He exclaimed to himself. 'The pain must be getting to me if I'm hallucinating that badly.'
The two couples stared at each other, ruminating on the situation before them.
Yamcha noticed his in-laws disheveled appearance and spotted Eighteen surreptitiously stuffing a bra into her back pocket.
'At least somebody got laid during my date,' He mused sardonically.
Eighteen meanwhile, pondered the possible scenarios that could have led the other couple to their near naked, unhappy state. The thought that she might have to hurt her son-in-law for making her daughter unhappy briefly fluttered through her head. She chose to ignore it because Yamcha looked punished enough.
Krillen, for his part, was working through another mystery. 'Why are they wearing matching underwear?' He wondered. 'Maybe it's some new couple's trend. Would Eighteen like hearts? How about yellow duckies? I like yellow duckies.'
Marron just wanted her parents to go so that she could tend to her wounded husband. Then she could yell at him in the privacy of their home.
The foursome stared awkwardly at each other. Krillen eyed the disgruntled looking couple behind the door before clearing his throat. Cautiously he asked, "sohow was your date?"
"Awesome!" "Just great." They answered in sarcastic unison.
Eighteen elbowed Krillen, who was staring in wonder at the two. She made a waving motion, indicating he should step aside. He caught the drift and let them into the apartment.
As Yamcha painfully hobbled into the apartment the other three winced in sympathy on his behalf. Marron especially was overcome by that and guilt. As unhappy as she was with him she hated to see her man in pain. Her anger slowly drained away and was being replaced with worry for him.
Marron really wanted to send here parents away but wasn't sure how without seeming rude. So she asked, "how was Hancha this evening?"
Krillen, eager to latch onto any positive conversational gambit answered, "oh he was great! He's sleeping like a baby! 'Cause that's what he is"
"Ahem!" Eighteen interrupted with a glare.
"Uh, never mind." Krillen stared at the floor for a moment, slightly embarrassed. That's when he noticed an empty bottle of Asahi they had missed in the clean up. He shoved it behind a potted plant and hoped no one noticed.
"We'll be leaving now," Eighteen announced.
"What about my car?" Krillen started to ask. He'd been itching to ask about it for awhile now.
"We're going now, baby!" She stated emphatically while shoving him roughly through the apartment and towards the front door.
Eighteen correctly guessed that something was up with the car. She decided it was best to deal with it later but she was going to have to distract her husband from thinking about it. It was an easy enough task, after twenty plus years of marriage the android had developed Distract Krillen ver 9.5, a program that could divert his attention for weeks on end. She caught her daughter's relieved glance and acknowledged it with a nod. Then she led her befuddled husband out of the apartment.
Marron closed the front door with a sigh then leaned against it for a moment before fixing her attention on her injured spouse. He had made it to the kitchen. She watched as Yamcha fished a sensu bean out of a compartment in the fridge and ate half of it. Within minutes he was looking healthier.
"How's your toe? Better now?"
"Much. Thanks." He stood on one foot and flexed toe gingerly to demonstrate.
They shared an uneasy silence. The anger had dissipated between the two of them but they were still miles away from being happy with each other. Yamcha decided to break the silence, since he didn't want to go to bed angry.
"How about a beer Shortcake?"
"I think my parents cleaned us out. I saw my dad try to hide an empty bottle," she replied.
Yamcha swore and did a quick fridge check. Sure enough, there was no more beer.
"I can't believe they drank all our beer!" He complained as he leaned against the refrigerator door.
"I can't believe you kicked my dad's car into the ocean!" she shot back.
Rather than rise to the bait, Yamcha laughed and said, "he'll probably kick my butt farther than I kicked the Merc when he finds out!"
"Good thing my mom has a distraction program. It'll keep dad busy for weeks before he notices." She chuckled in turn.
"Your mom has a "Distraction Program?"
"Yeah, among other things," she added. Yamcha raised an eyebrow and Marron giggled at him.
"Can you believe Pu'ar?" she asked, not really wanting to discuss her mother at the moment. "I think he's been living with Roshi and Oolong far too long! What a bad influence they are." She pointed out.
"It could just be curiosity, after all he's a cat. Then again, I had caught him leafing through my magazines once or twice," he explained with a smirk. This amused Marron greatly and caused another giggle fit.
"You know what?" Marron asked as the laughter died down a bit.
"What sweetie?"
"You should have kicked the pig instead." That brought out a fresh bout of merriment and soon both of them were feeling more normal toward each other.
"I'm sorry about how our date went. I wish things had gone differently, that I had done things differently," he said, apologetically.
Marron melted at the gesture. The fault certainly wasn't all his. "I could have kept my cool," she admitted.
Yamcha could sense things were going his way again. He stood up straight and intoned confidentially, "you know, I have a special application of my own."
Marron, exaggerating her intrigue just a bit replied, "really?"
He grasped her hand in his and explained, "its called Make Up v.3.0," Then he brought her fingers to his lips for a gentle kiss. "It's an extension of my favorite program, Make My Wife Happy v1.0."
Marron closed the space between them. "I think it's my favorite now too," she said. Then she kissed him teasingly, wanting to salvage what little of the night they had left. She curled her fingers around his shoulders and pressed her lips harder, more urgently against his.
He responded with an urgency of his own as he slid one arm down to the back of her knees.
"Let's go to bed baby girl."
He lifted her up and carried her to their bedroom. She locked her arms tightly around him tightly and looked into his eyes. The desire she saw in them brought a rush of heat through her body.
"Yamcha," she whispered breathlessly.
Not wanting to let go of her, Yamcha kicked the door open instead. He was 0 for 2 as he once again over did it. The door banged against the wall quite loudly.
He and Marron stood completely still. Yamcha thought he heard a noise and held his breath. After two torturous seconds of silence, he walked her the bed.
"Waaaaaah!"
Yamcha set Marron down at the foot of the bed. They stood there quietly foreheads pressed together, nose-to-nose, eyes closed, listening to the plaintive wail of their little boy.
Yamcha broke contact first and whispered, "I'll see to him, you get some rest. I promise we'll have a better date next time." Then he kissed Marron on the forehead and headed for his son's room.
Marron, standing next to the bed, fell face first into it. She could feel the sheets slightly puff up from her impact. Turning her head she stared at a picture of her and Yamcha on the nightstand next to the bed. They looked so happy she had to smile. As she rolled over on her back, she replayed the events of the evening as if she were watching a home movie. Carefully, she spliced out the bad memories, then began stitching the good ones together.
First, she recalled Yamcha telling her he liked her outfit and how lovely it made her feel. Then, she remembered the rush of excitement as they flew towards their secret destination. She relived the passion of kissing under the moonlight and stars while dancing on air. She remembered the relief she felt after they found a way to laugh at themselves when things went bad. And finally there was the love she felt for Yamcha after he said 'I'm sorry,' and tried to make it up to her. As she drifted off into sleep she replayed her evening with just the good memories.
Yamcha came in a few minutes later and saw his wife sleeping peacefully. He tried not to feel too disappointed as he crawled into bed next to her. Drawing himself up on his elbow and he stared at her face for a moment, contemplating the happy smile there. He yawned, then drew her into his arms and began to drift off himself.
'Maybe,' he decided as he snuggled closer, 'it was a good date after all.'
The End.
A/N: Heh. I forgot to post this chapter. No wonder I didn't get any reviews! Hopefully, there are still people reading this. Thanx Snoro for reminding me to update. This one's for you! - e
Yamcha: That's it? That's the end? Did we win?
Marron: Win? What do you mean?
Yamcha: It says in the summary, "Who ends up having the perfect date?" Sounds like a contest to me. And I seem to recall us eventually finishing what we started so that means we won, right?
Marron: Yamcha, the name of the story is 'The Perfect Date' not 'Guess Who Got Laid?" By "perfect" they mean who had the most romantic evening.
Yamcha: Are you sure? Because I think men have a different slant on what a 'Perfect Date' might mean. Right little guy?
Hancha: gahh!
Yamcha: See, he agrees.
Marron: (glares menacingly at Yamcha)
Yamcha: Heh. Um. Hey! Are those your parents over there? (shouts across the mall parking lot) Yo Krillen, Eighteen. What's up?
Krillen: Where's my car Yamcha!?
Yamcha: Hey, look at the time! Gotta go home. Nap time for the kid ya know. Bye!
The End, for real.