Troubled Mind: Random Thoughts of Yuki Eiri
The pavement echoed each footstep as I padded my way out the front door of my apartment building. The breeze hit my face straight away, not only cooling my lightly tanned skin, but also managing to bring with it the relief that I needed. Hopefully she wouldn't have noticed that I had slipped out yet, so I had enough time to make myself scarce. It seems hard to believe that I would have to run away from my own apartment like this, but she was a special case. There can be girls who would try most things to get close to me, that's the price of fame, but most of them know that there is an unspoken boundary that they do not cross. This boundary is normally maintained not out of their respect for my privacy, that seems to be something completely unheard of by these fanatic females, but more due to the fact that by breaking that rule they would be edging onto obsessive and therefore have to question their own sanity.
There seemed to be a selfish motive behind most actions, by male or female, young or old, white or coloured, all human instincts boil down to look out for oneself with no regard to others. This was a theory that I myself followed religiously and disregarding others even included family. She was only here to try to get me to visit my father who would pester me to return home and join him in the temple, marry the 'girl next door' type or whatever that girl I'm supposedly engaged to is like, and basically, become another version of himself. That just seems to be the peak of vanity – replicating himself through his children. Most parents do it to some extent, but he already had my brother following his every order, so why did I have to give up my life as well?
Do not misunderstand though, I am not taking out this anger on my sister – 'shooting the messenger' as the saying goes. She is no where near close to the saintly daughter that dear daddy wished for. Fortunately for her though, his sights are set and locked in my direction. She knows that by delivering me she will be rewarded with his admiration. That was my family – planning, scheming, calculating – so you don't have to wonder why I turned out the way I am.
Today was the third time this week that she had turned up at my house to 'talk'. I had reached boiling point hours ago but tried to ignore her until she gave up. I guess this plan had worked one too many times as this time she wasn't budging. She had planted herself firmly on my couch and set her record to repeat with the same reasons for why I should return just repeating over and over. I had taken my chance to escape as she got up to visit the restroom, leaving the exit clear and unguarded. I would deal with it some day, just not today... or any day soon... but someday.
I was ready to head towards the park which was my usual thinking place, when I realised that I recognised the pink hair that sat messily on top of a boy beside me. This was something else I did not want to deal with. This boy had turned up a few times in front of me recently, the last time had been directly in the path of my spotless jet black BMW. Women I could mostly deal with, as I have come to understand their trails of thought and can normally predict what they are after from me. Boys were different though. I had not been pursued so intensely before, not even by female fans.
So here he was again, outside my apartment, hesitating with his finger inches away from the buzzer to my apartment. I wanted to hate the stupid kid for turning up at such an awkward time but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to. Half of his face was in view to me, just enough to show me the fear in his eyes as he contemplated pressing the small white button by the name 'Eiri'. The worst part of looking at he was that it reminded me of that feeling. He was confused as he was drawn to me for some reason, and it was not something that he could even start to understand, let alone begin to control. I had been exactly like that at one point in my life, most probably when I was around the same sort of age that he was now. It disturbed me slightly just how similar he seemed to how I used to be. However, due to certain circumstances, my recollection of the same 'nervous yet excited heart-pounding' feeling was attached to memories of something more painful which I knew followed. Even the slightest hint of a memory to that part of my life knocked the breath out of me, mirroring the effects of being punched in the stomach.
As fast as these thoughts had come flooding to me a moment earlier, I dismissed them to the back of my mind once again, for I had come outside with a purpose. This kid had slowed me down and now there was no chance of escaping before Mika would be hot on my heels. I would have to face her again. Not my first choice, but maybe it was better than hiding out. Fine, but what to do with the boy? It was lucky that Mika's persistant harassment has sharpened my senses, giving me quick reflexes that kicked into gear and started the clogs turning in my mind. I had the upper hand as I knew how to turn almost any situation to my own advantage.
First to get rid of the boy - confrontation is always the best way to scare types like him off. Then hopefully he'll be gone before Mika arrives.
"What are you doing here?" My voice came out a lot more callous than I expected, but it was no surprise after the day I was having. The shock on the boy's face to find that I had been the one to sneak up on him instead of visa versa was priceless. It looked like I only needed to give one more gentle nudge and he would be gone. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure he'll be back, actually I could probably guarantee he would be back, but I was searching for a short term solution here so I went for the goal.
Spreading a victorious smirk across my features and releasing a small, yet all-knowing laugh, I went in for the kill. "Were you longing to see me that much?"
Before I said it, I would have bet anyone that it would have worked, but as soon as the words let my lips I noticed his eyes change. This is what I meant earlier, if it had been a girl, my judgement would have been spot on, but dealing with blokes was a whole new ball game. My plan had backfired as the personality of the person in front of me did a complete one eighty.
"The heck I am! I am here to challenge you! I don't know about you being an author or whatever but you should listen to my song!"
So, it was those lyrics he was still on about. I had only given my truthful opinion, as I had no reason to lie, but maybe I could have been the slightest bit too harsh on the poor kid. Maybe he wasn't that well educated. Anyway, what did I know about music? Most the kids now-a-days would probably be on the same wavelength as this geek and happily follow his drivel. That couldn't be the only reason he kept turning up like this. Especially if he really had no clue before that I was an author, it makes no sense as to why he would take my comment so seriously. Maybe I had been wrong last time and he was just oversensitive. The only other explanation was that he himself did not know the reason for his presence on my property. This seemed the more likely of the two theories. He was following his instincts - his natural, selfish urges.
"Eiri! Wait a sec! Eiri!" The high pitched shreak of my sister came through the door before she reached it, setting off my mind once again to think of a solution – plan B. She was staring straight as Shuichi - that was his name wasn't it? Well, that ruled out the idea of not introducing the two. So, what option was left? I didn't have long to think.
"Who is this kid?" Mika asked, her questioning eyes scanning me for an answer. I started to act upon the first idea that came to mind which consisted of making my way over to Shuichi.
"Well, let's go, Shuichi." I placed an arm around his shoulders while keeping my eyes on Mika. The boy seemed to stiffen under my touch, but that was probably the shock, as long as Mika didn't pick up on it then it was ok.
"I have a date with him today. Why, he is such a cutie..." I could only hope that this kid was clever enough to pick up on the scam and play along. No such luck.
"Who are you calling...?"
Interrupting him quickly before my cover was blown, I rambled out some excuse along the lines of, "I can't help it. He's so stubborn... Shuichi is. But that's what makes him so cute though, right?" I was really having to try hard to keep up the pretence, as for some reason, today I just couldn't seem to think properly. Instead my flesh had become very sensitive to each movement and twitch of the body encased in my arms. This was such an impossible situation. Mika surely couldn't be falling for this, could she? Still, a small whisper into the boy's ear would help keep the ball rolling.
Mika got to look on to what seemed like lovers whispering sweet nothings when really it just managed to put her out of hearing distance long enough for me to silence the boy with a little threat. "Say a word and I'll kill you." I seemed to do the trick, on both accounts, as Mika suddenly cracked. I guess it really was that easy, as now they were both right where I wanted them – the ball was back in my court.
"I see," Mika practically yelled, "so are you trying to tell me that he is more important to you than I am?"
"That's right" Straight, direct and to the point.
"Fool!" She had finally admitted defeat, for today anyhow, and turned to make her way down the driveway and back to her red sports car. I kept an eye on her with my arm around the kid until I was certain she was gone. I double checked as it had all seemed way too easy. Had she really fallen for a pretence that was the total opposite of my actual character? She was my sister after all, so you would have thought she would have been able to notice these things.
"Are you sure it's ok to let her go?" His quiet voice reminded me that I had to remove my arm from around his before he got the wrong idea. He had been dumb enough to not have a clue what was going on, so maybe he actually thought I was hitting on him. This thought made me slightly uncomfortable as he had calmed down a lot from a moment ago and I hoped he didn't already think I was holding him because I actually wanted to. Why do I have to be surrounded by such idiots? I hope whatever I did in a past life was worth it.
The pavement echoed each footstep as I padded my way out the front door of my apartment building. The breeze hit my face straight away, not only cooling my lightly tanned skin, but also managing to bring with it the relief that I needed. Hopefully she wouldn't have noticed that I had slipped out yet, so I had enough time to make myself scarce. It seems hard to believe that I would have to run away from my own apartment like this, but she was a special case. There can be girls who would try most things to get close to me, that's the price of fame, but most of them know that there is an unspoken boundary that they do not cross. This boundary is normally maintained not out of their respect for my privacy, that seems to be something completely unheard of by these fanatic females, but more due to the fact that by breaking that rule they would be edging onto obsessive and therefore have to question their own sanity.
There seemed to be a selfish motive behind most actions, by male or female, young or old, white or coloured, all human instincts boil down to look out for oneself with no regard to others. This was a theory that I myself followed religiously and disregarding others even included family. She was only here to try to get me to visit my father who would pester me to return home and join him in the temple, marry the 'girl next door' type or whatever that girl I'm supposedly engaged to is like, and basically, become another version of himself. That just seems to be the peak of vanity – replicating himself through his children. Most parents do it to some extent, but he already had my brother following his every order, so why did I have to give up my life as well?
Do not misunderstand though, I am not taking out this anger on my sister – 'shooting the messenger' as the saying goes. She is no where near close to the saintly daughter that dear daddy wished for. Fortunately for her though, his sights are set and locked in my direction. She knows that by delivering me she will be rewarded with his admiration. That was my family – planning, scheming, calculating – so you don't have to wonder why I turned out the way I am.
Today was the third time this week that she had turned up at my house to 'talk'. I had reached boiling point hours ago but tried to ignore her until she gave up. I guess this plan had worked one too many times as this time she wasn't budging. She had planted herself firmly on my couch and set her record to repeat with the same reasons for why I should return just repeating over and over. I had taken my chance to escape as she got up to visit the restroom, leaving the exit clear and unguarded. I would deal with it some day, just not today... or any day soon... but someday.
I was ready to head towards the park which was my usual thinking place, when I realised that I recognised the pink hair that sat messily on top of a boy beside me. This was something else I did not want to deal with. This boy had turned up a few times in front of me recently, the last time had been directly in the path of my spotless jet black BMW. Women I could mostly deal with, as I have come to understand their trails of thought and can normally predict what they are after from me. Boys were different though. I had not been pursued so intensely before, not even by female fans.
So here he was again, outside my apartment, hesitating with his finger inches away from the buzzer to my apartment. I wanted to hate the stupid kid for turning up at such an awkward time but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to. Half of his face was in view to me, just enough to show me the fear in his eyes as he contemplated pressing the small white button by the name 'Eiri'. The worst part of looking at he was that it reminded me of that feeling. He was confused as he was drawn to me for some reason, and it was not something that he could even start to understand, let alone begin to control. I had been exactly like that at one point in my life, most probably when I was around the same sort of age that he was now. It disturbed me slightly just how similar he seemed to how I used to be. However, due to certain circumstances, my recollection of the same 'nervous yet excited heart-pounding' feeling was attached to memories of something more painful which I knew followed. Even the slightest hint of a memory to that part of my life knocked the breath out of me, mirroring the effects of being punched in the stomach.
As fast as these thoughts had come flooding to me a moment earlier, I dismissed them to the back of my mind once again, for I had come outside with a purpose. This kid had slowed me down and now there was no chance of escaping before Mika would be hot on my heels. I would have to face her again. Not my first choice, but maybe it was better than hiding out. Fine, but what to do with the boy? It was lucky that Mika's persistant harassment has sharpened my senses, giving me quick reflexes that kicked into gear and started the clogs turning in my mind. I had the upper hand as I knew how to turn almost any situation to my own advantage.
First to get rid of the boy - confrontation is always the best way to scare types like him off. Then hopefully he'll be gone before Mika arrives.
"What are you doing here?" My voice came out a lot more callous than I expected, but it was no surprise after the day I was having. The shock on the boy's face to find that I had been the one to sneak up on him instead of visa versa was priceless. It looked like I only needed to give one more gentle nudge and he would be gone. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure he'll be back, actually I could probably guarantee he would be back, but I was searching for a short term solution here so I went for the goal.
Spreading a victorious smirk across my features and releasing a small, yet all-knowing laugh, I went in for the kill. "Were you longing to see me that much?"
Before I said it, I would have bet anyone that it would have worked, but as soon as the words let my lips I noticed his eyes change. This is what I meant earlier, if it had been a girl, my judgement would have been spot on, but dealing with blokes was a whole new ball game. My plan had backfired as the personality of the person in front of me did a complete one eighty.
"The heck I am! I am here to challenge you! I don't know about you being an author or whatever but you should listen to my song!"
So, it was those lyrics he was still on about. I had only given my truthful opinion, as I had no reason to lie, but maybe I could have been the slightest bit too harsh on the poor kid. Maybe he wasn't that well educated. Anyway, what did I know about music? Most the kids now-a-days would probably be on the same wavelength as this geek and happily follow his drivel. That couldn't be the only reason he kept turning up like this. Especially if he really had no clue before that I was an author, it makes no sense as to why he would take my comment so seriously. Maybe I had been wrong last time and he was just oversensitive. The only other explanation was that he himself did not know the reason for his presence on my property. This seemed the more likely of the two theories. He was following his instincts - his natural, selfish urges.
"Eiri! Wait a sec! Eiri!" The high pitched shreak of my sister came through the door before she reached it, setting off my mind once again to think of a solution – plan B. She was staring straight as Shuichi - that was his name wasn't it? Well, that ruled out the idea of not introducing the two. So, what option was left? I didn't have long to think.
"Who is this kid?" Mika asked, her questioning eyes scanning me for an answer. I started to act upon the first idea that came to mind which consisted of making my way over to Shuichi.
"Well, let's go, Shuichi." I placed an arm around his shoulders while keeping my eyes on Mika. The boy seemed to stiffen under my touch, but that was probably the shock, as long as Mika didn't pick up on it then it was ok.
"I have a date with him today. Why, he is such a cutie..." I could only hope that this kid was clever enough to pick up on the scam and play along. No such luck.
"Who are you calling...?"
Interrupting him quickly before my cover was blown, I rambled out some excuse along the lines of, "I can't help it. He's so stubborn... Shuichi is. But that's what makes him so cute though, right?" I was really having to try hard to keep up the pretence, as for some reason, today I just couldn't seem to think properly. Instead my flesh had become very sensitive to each movement and twitch of the body encased in my arms. This was such an impossible situation. Mika surely couldn't be falling for this, could she? Still, a small whisper into the boy's ear would help keep the ball rolling.
Mika got to look on to what seemed like lovers whispering sweet nothings when really it just managed to put her out of hearing distance long enough for me to silence the boy with a little threat. "Say a word and I'll kill you." I seemed to do the trick, on both accounts, as Mika suddenly cracked. I guess it really was that easy, as now they were both right where I wanted them – the ball was back in my court.
"I see," Mika practically yelled, "so are you trying to tell me that he is more important to you than I am?"
"That's right" Straight, direct and to the point.
"Fool!" She had finally admitted defeat, for today anyhow, and turned to make her way down the driveway and back to her red sports car. I kept an eye on her with my arm around the kid until I was certain she was gone. I double checked as it had all seemed way too easy. Had she really fallen for a pretence that was the total opposite of my actual character? She was my sister after all, so you would have thought she would have been able to notice these things.
"Are you sure it's ok to let her go?" His quiet voice reminded me that I had to remove my arm from around his before he got the wrong idea. He had been dumb enough to not have a clue what was going on, so maybe he actually thought I was hitting on him. This thought made me slightly uncomfortable as he had calmed down a lot from a moment ago and I hoped he didn't already think I was holding him because I actually wanted to. Why do I have to be surrounded by such idiots? I hope whatever I did in a past life was worth it.