Somehow I managed to fall asleep right there on the curb. Sure, there was a
mailbox for me to lean against and sure, I hadn't slept in god only knows
how long but it seemed nearly impossible for a person to sleep while
something like, oh, I don't know, a massive pile up was occurring right in
front of them.
I was dreaming of an earthquake and I was alone in the house. I ran outside to look for my family but the ground opens up and I fall through. I could barely breathe and it felt like my arms and legs were bonded together. I call out for help but my family can't hear me. As my eyes look down to see when I'd finally hit the ground, I see that I'm too late because the ground has already came up to me.
I awakened with a loud fearfully gasp, my head snapped up, and my body struggled against a forceful hold. My wide eyes searched anxiously as if I were looking or something but I only find my father on his knees in front of me.
"It's okay, buddy. You were dreaming. You were just dreaming, Seth." He tells me his voice squeaked awkwardly at the end when he said my name.
"I know." I lie, and brush his hands away from my shoulders. I grab the mailbox to help me stand up, and cross my arms when I see that we have company. My eyes flicked to each of them.
Jimmy Cooper was helping Marissa into the backseat of their car, while Julie yelled at an ambulance driver who was blocking the car in. To my surprise Ryan was standing next to dad, eyeing my worriedly, rather then making sure Marissa was okay.
"Thank god, you're alight." Mom said almost in tears. Her arms reached out for me to come to her, but I just stood there, covering the side of my face with my hand, while taking in a much needed breath, and let my hand slide down my face.
"Yeah..." I said, but I didn't mean it at all. I was shaking like a leaf.
"Are you hurt?" Dad asks looking me over, his eyes stopping at the large blood stain on my pants.
"Oh god- Medic!" He shouts, waving his arms for help.
I grab for his gesturing arms, pulling them down with an authentic chuckle, "I-I'm fine. The "medics" already patched me up." I mock, and give him an odd look, "Who says Medic?"
"Shut up." Dad says, placing his hand over his heart, "Don't you ever do that to me again." He says unsteadily. He looked so drained and scared, as he brought me into his arms. I try to pull away, but he just held me tighter.
"I love you. Don't you ever leave us; do you understand me, do you?" He whispers into my ear. I feel another body join us, and I don't even have to look because I can already smell her.
"Yeah... I understand" I laugh because I'm so uncomfortable. I manage to pull away from the group hug, so I could give him and mom a reassuring smirk.
"Let's get you home." Mom says, running her fingers through my hair. Her other hand at the small of my back.
Dad runs ahead of us, opening the backseat door for me. I just stood there, for some reason I couldn't move my feet. I was scared. The last place I wanted to be was in a car. How pathetic was that? Ryan wouldn't have been scared.
"Let's go." Dad says, waiting for me.
"Um...I-I..." I stutter trying to explain to them how weak I was. I look down, suddenly becoming very interested in my shoes.
"What?" He asks confused, but stopped when mom shot him a look.
Somehow she understood.
"If you're okay to walk we'll just follow you home in the car, okay?" She tells me caringly, and I nod.
Coward...
"I'll walk with you, okay, Seth?" Ryan suggests, and I just nod again.
Spineless...
She hugs me again, and places a kiss on my temple, like she always does. She gives me one last look, and makes her way over to the car, guiding a very confused dad to the drivers' seat.
"I'll be right back." Ryan tells me, and jogs over to Marissa. He kneels down in front of her at their car, takes her hands in his, and kisses her. They exchange words that I can't hear, he gives her another kiss, and he gets up. She moves her legs inside the car and he shuts the door. He then walks back to our car, after dad motions for him. They too exchange quiet Seth-must-not-hear words, and both cars finally drive off. I guess they decided not to follow us home like the secret service.
Ryan bobs his head for me to come, and I obey.
I felt like a fucking robot. Someone could tell me to stab my eyes out with a fork and I'd ask, "Dinner or Salad?"
It's abnormally quiet as we approach our street.
"Marissa said you were her hero." Ryan finally breaks the silence, and slows his pace for me to catch up.
I let out a harsh laugh, and his head whips around to look at me, but he doesn't say anything. Not a word.
He suddenly stops in front of me, blocking my way. I take a step to the left and he mimics me. I take a step to the right and he does it again.
"What're doing?" I ask annoyed, and he just stands there.
"Talk to me..." He says, and I don't think I've ever heard that kind of softness in his voice.
"Okay?" I shake my head, acting as if I was confused, but I knew exactly what he meant. I try to walk around him, but he moves to block me again.
"Ryan, stop."
"No..." He begins, "not until you talk to me."
"What-What do you want me to say?" My voice grows louder, and my body trembles even more.
"I want you to tell me what's going on with you. I know it's more then just girl problems."
Oh, how I wish I was Bruce Banner.
My mind went blank, and I just yelled. I yelled it all.
"Just girl problems, Ryan?! Just girl problems?!?!"
And it begins...
"Summer is NOT just a girl, okay!? I love her and she NEVER loved me back! Do you have any idea how that feels?! Huh?!" I push his chest, "They were fucking each other behind my back, Ryan! Luke Ward! How fucking perfect is that, huh?!"
I laugh sadly, whirling around, my hands coming up to the sides of my head,
"You know the funniest part through, Ryan?" A beat, "I don't blame her."
Now this next part is where I fucked up. This next part is where I went too far.
"Who would want a lardass like me?! God, I'm disgusting! How could she ever stand looking at me!? I'm just a big fat loser, right?" I cover my face, trying my hardest not to break now.
I look back to Ryan. He's completely stunned.
"Seth... what-what are you saying?"
Now he called me Seth, but that's not what I heard.
I swear to God that's not what I heard.
"Seth, my name is Seth!" I scream, sending my fist straight at him.
He grabbed me, and wrestled me to the ground.
"Stop! Stop, Seth! Seth, stop it! Calm down." He shouts but all I hear is him calling me Heff. It's all I heard.
"I said Seth!" I scream over and over, kicking my feet childishly.
I did this until my voice started to give out, and my legs felt like steel.
"I said Seth... I said Seth." I tell him very calmly now.
His eyes met mine, and he whispered,
"You said Seth."
I was dreaming of an earthquake and I was alone in the house. I ran outside to look for my family but the ground opens up and I fall through. I could barely breathe and it felt like my arms and legs were bonded together. I call out for help but my family can't hear me. As my eyes look down to see when I'd finally hit the ground, I see that I'm too late because the ground has already came up to me.
I awakened with a loud fearfully gasp, my head snapped up, and my body struggled against a forceful hold. My wide eyes searched anxiously as if I were looking or something but I only find my father on his knees in front of me.
"It's okay, buddy. You were dreaming. You were just dreaming, Seth." He tells me his voice squeaked awkwardly at the end when he said my name.
"I know." I lie, and brush his hands away from my shoulders. I grab the mailbox to help me stand up, and cross my arms when I see that we have company. My eyes flicked to each of them.
Jimmy Cooper was helping Marissa into the backseat of their car, while Julie yelled at an ambulance driver who was blocking the car in. To my surprise Ryan was standing next to dad, eyeing my worriedly, rather then making sure Marissa was okay.
"Thank god, you're alight." Mom said almost in tears. Her arms reached out for me to come to her, but I just stood there, covering the side of my face with my hand, while taking in a much needed breath, and let my hand slide down my face.
"Yeah..." I said, but I didn't mean it at all. I was shaking like a leaf.
"Are you hurt?" Dad asks looking me over, his eyes stopping at the large blood stain on my pants.
"Oh god- Medic!" He shouts, waving his arms for help.
I grab for his gesturing arms, pulling them down with an authentic chuckle, "I-I'm fine. The "medics" already patched me up." I mock, and give him an odd look, "Who says Medic?"
"Shut up." Dad says, placing his hand over his heart, "Don't you ever do that to me again." He says unsteadily. He looked so drained and scared, as he brought me into his arms. I try to pull away, but he just held me tighter.
"I love you. Don't you ever leave us; do you understand me, do you?" He whispers into my ear. I feel another body join us, and I don't even have to look because I can already smell her.
"Yeah... I understand" I laugh because I'm so uncomfortable. I manage to pull away from the group hug, so I could give him and mom a reassuring smirk.
"Let's get you home." Mom says, running her fingers through my hair. Her other hand at the small of my back.
Dad runs ahead of us, opening the backseat door for me. I just stood there, for some reason I couldn't move my feet. I was scared. The last place I wanted to be was in a car. How pathetic was that? Ryan wouldn't have been scared.
"Let's go." Dad says, waiting for me.
"Um...I-I..." I stutter trying to explain to them how weak I was. I look down, suddenly becoming very interested in my shoes.
"What?" He asks confused, but stopped when mom shot him a look.
Somehow she understood.
"If you're okay to walk we'll just follow you home in the car, okay?" She tells me caringly, and I nod.
Coward...
"I'll walk with you, okay, Seth?" Ryan suggests, and I just nod again.
Spineless...
She hugs me again, and places a kiss on my temple, like she always does. She gives me one last look, and makes her way over to the car, guiding a very confused dad to the drivers' seat.
"I'll be right back." Ryan tells me, and jogs over to Marissa. He kneels down in front of her at their car, takes her hands in his, and kisses her. They exchange words that I can't hear, he gives her another kiss, and he gets up. She moves her legs inside the car and he shuts the door. He then walks back to our car, after dad motions for him. They too exchange quiet Seth-must-not-hear words, and both cars finally drive off. I guess they decided not to follow us home like the secret service.
Ryan bobs his head for me to come, and I obey.
I felt like a fucking robot. Someone could tell me to stab my eyes out with a fork and I'd ask, "Dinner or Salad?"
It's abnormally quiet as we approach our street.
"Marissa said you were her hero." Ryan finally breaks the silence, and slows his pace for me to catch up.
I let out a harsh laugh, and his head whips around to look at me, but he doesn't say anything. Not a word.
He suddenly stops in front of me, blocking my way. I take a step to the left and he mimics me. I take a step to the right and he does it again.
"What're doing?" I ask annoyed, and he just stands there.
"Talk to me..." He says, and I don't think I've ever heard that kind of softness in his voice.
"Okay?" I shake my head, acting as if I was confused, but I knew exactly what he meant. I try to walk around him, but he moves to block me again.
"Ryan, stop."
"No..." He begins, "not until you talk to me."
"What-What do you want me to say?" My voice grows louder, and my body trembles even more.
"I want you to tell me what's going on with you. I know it's more then just girl problems."
Oh, how I wish I was Bruce Banner.
My mind went blank, and I just yelled. I yelled it all.
"Just girl problems, Ryan?! Just girl problems?!?!"
And it begins...
"Summer is NOT just a girl, okay!? I love her and she NEVER loved me back! Do you have any idea how that feels?! Huh?!" I push his chest, "They were fucking each other behind my back, Ryan! Luke Ward! How fucking perfect is that, huh?!"
I laugh sadly, whirling around, my hands coming up to the sides of my head,
"You know the funniest part through, Ryan?" A beat, "I don't blame her."
Now this next part is where I fucked up. This next part is where I went too far.
"Who would want a lardass like me?! God, I'm disgusting! How could she ever stand looking at me!? I'm just a big fat loser, right?" I cover my face, trying my hardest not to break now.
I look back to Ryan. He's completely stunned.
"Seth... what-what are you saying?"
Now he called me Seth, but that's not what I heard.
I swear to God that's not what I heard.
"Seth, my name is Seth!" I scream, sending my fist straight at him.
He grabbed me, and wrestled me to the ground.
"Stop! Stop, Seth! Seth, stop it! Calm down." He shouts but all I hear is him calling me Heff. It's all I heard.
"I said Seth!" I scream over and over, kicking my feet childishly.
I did this until my voice started to give out, and my legs felt like steel.
"I said Seth... I said Seth." I tell him very calmly now.
His eyes met mine, and he whispered,
"You said Seth."