I woke up feeling like someone had just dropped a bucket of ice water all over me. I was covered in sweat and I had this feeling of sheer disorder of where I was and what had happened for me to get there, and not to mention I had to piss like a race horse. Apparently, I was really dehydrated when they brought me in.
I had been refusing to give them my name or even talk for the past thirty minutes but rumor has it that my parents had immediately put out my description to all the nearby hospitals so they already had a good idea of who I was.
My family had arrived about 10 minutes ago but I was turning down their requests to see me.
They tried sending in this hip young doctor that could "relate" to me enough to get me to spill the beans.
He had one leg up on a chair like some lame presidential campaign, with one hand on his stethoscope and the other rubbing at his knee.
He cocked a brow at me while tilting his head to the left. He put on a fake smile, as he let his stethoscope drop back to his chest.
"Why won't you talk?"
I couldn't help but let out a dry laugh. He deserved it and he knew that he did.
He let out of a heavy sigh, removing his leg from the chair.
"Listen kid..."He began, dragging the chair over to the side of my bed, "It's my first day..." He spoke softly as his chin rested on the back of the chair and I just knew he was about to go into his sob story.
When I didn't show any sign of sympathy he just lowered his eyes and ran a shaky hand down his face. He looked completely worn out like he hadn't slept in days.
I felt disgustingly full like I had just been to a great fest. It was almost hard to breathe.
"Why do I feel so full?" I asked with a rough voice and his head practically shot up in amazement. He quickly regained his cool though, submerging back into the chair.
"We had to tube feed you." He explained, never taking his eyes off me.
I hated that...
I just looked down, suddenly very interested in my blanket. I was running the tip of my finger down the stitching when he cleared his throat to get my attention.
"Does that bother you?" He asked curiously, searching my face for any kind of reaction.
I automatically opened my mouth about to give an answer when I realized talking wouldn't really do me any good. I closed my mouth and rested back on my many pillows.
"There are a lot of people worried about you."
"You don't know shit" I spat back, leaning forward from my bed and when his eyes met mine I saw my reflection in them. I looked closer; bring a bony pale hand to my sucked-of-life face.
"What?" He asked, looking away to examine himself and when his eyes peered back into mine, the image I had seen was gone.
I just shook my head a couple times and fell back onto the bed, turning on my side so my back was facing him.
"So your name is Seth, right?" He asked me but I quickly went back to being reticent again. I regretted opening my mouth at all.
"I have a cousin named Seth..." He informed me like it was something very interesting.
After a moment of silence on both ends, I heard him sigh and the chair he sat in creaked.
For some reason I was trembling and no matter how hard I tried to lie still I just shouldn't stop. I flipped my body over so I was on my back again and out of the corner of my eye I saw that he wasn't at the side of my bed anymore.
Curious, as to where he was I searched the room. It was dark and that made me remember my dream from before, only causing me to become conscious of my how full stomach was. My mouth watered and I felt very uneasy.
It had to go...
"I'm gonna puke!" I shouted out to the room, not knowing where the doctor was hiding.
The door opened and a silhouette appeared in the doorframe.
"Are you getting me a bucket of some sort?" I asked crudely like I was a rich snob, while pitching the bridge of my nose with my eyes closed.
The door closed and I heard his heavy footsteps getting closer.
"Well?" I questioned pretentiously, as I propped myself up onto my elbows but it wasn't the doctor I was looking to now.
"You're not supposed to be in here..." I said firmly, my fists tightening.
"Just hear me out..." Ryan pleaded, holding up his hands like he was surrendering.
"Get out, Ryan!" I shouted, my eyes never leaving him.
"Please, just talk to me!" He begged and for a split second the water in his eyes glistened when the light from the lamp hit them just right.
I could see in his eyes that he knew everything. Like I predicted, Marissa had told and I was ashamed. I studied him. His thumbs twiddled and his body was stiff.
Ryan Atwood was on the verge of tears but that didn't stop me, no, it didn't.
"You're not everyone's hero, Ryan..." I began steadily; my throat ached from holding back tears "Fuck... off"
His lips were tight and I could see his jaw muscle was throbbing. I wanted him to hate me so he would stop caring. I wasn't worth it. Why couldn't anyone see that?
"Bad habits don't die..." I began blankly "they just hibernate." I twisted my lips around to form some sort of sick grin.
He just stood there, gawking at me. I didn't like when people stared.
"Didn't you hear me?!" I screamed, gripping the blanket so tightly my knuckled turned white "I said fuck off, y-you worthless piece of trash!" I struggled to hurt him; my voice was breaking in and out.
"You don't mean that..." He replied quickly, shaking his head no, "I can see it in your eyes that you don't mean it..." He look a step forward, "Look at you... you're shaking"
He was right- I didn't mean it and I was shaking.
Why was he making this so hard?
I put my true emotions in check and went into actor mode.
"You keep telling yourself that, Ryan," I taunted, bring my entwined fingers to the back of my head "Tell yourself it's just the disease." I giggled cruelly, making myself cozy in my bed.
I kept my eyes on him, casually like I didn't really care what his reaction was, but I did. He wasn't giving me much though. His thumbs were still twiddling away, and his body remained hard.
"I love you," He said simply and honestly. He watched me for a moment and then turned on his heels and left the room.
I sucked in a quick breath, slowly letting it out like smooth tobacco smoke.
His words kept running through my mind like the way food did and I wanted to tell him that I loved him too, but I didn't.
I crawled under the covers and drifted off to sleep.
I had been refusing to give them my name or even talk for the past thirty minutes but rumor has it that my parents had immediately put out my description to all the nearby hospitals so they already had a good idea of who I was.
My family had arrived about 10 minutes ago but I was turning down their requests to see me.
They tried sending in this hip young doctor that could "relate" to me enough to get me to spill the beans.
He had one leg up on a chair like some lame presidential campaign, with one hand on his stethoscope and the other rubbing at his knee.
He cocked a brow at me while tilting his head to the left. He put on a fake smile, as he let his stethoscope drop back to his chest.
"Why won't you talk?"
I couldn't help but let out a dry laugh. He deserved it and he knew that he did.
He let out of a heavy sigh, removing his leg from the chair.
"Listen kid..."He began, dragging the chair over to the side of my bed, "It's my first day..." He spoke softly as his chin rested on the back of the chair and I just knew he was about to go into his sob story.
When I didn't show any sign of sympathy he just lowered his eyes and ran a shaky hand down his face. He looked completely worn out like he hadn't slept in days.
I felt disgustingly full like I had just been to a great fest. It was almost hard to breathe.
"Why do I feel so full?" I asked with a rough voice and his head practically shot up in amazement. He quickly regained his cool though, submerging back into the chair.
"We had to tube feed you." He explained, never taking his eyes off me.
I hated that...
I just looked down, suddenly very interested in my blanket. I was running the tip of my finger down the stitching when he cleared his throat to get my attention.
"Does that bother you?" He asked curiously, searching my face for any kind of reaction.
I automatically opened my mouth about to give an answer when I realized talking wouldn't really do me any good. I closed my mouth and rested back on my many pillows.
"There are a lot of people worried about you."
"You don't know shit" I spat back, leaning forward from my bed and when his eyes met mine I saw my reflection in them. I looked closer; bring a bony pale hand to my sucked-of-life face.
"What?" He asked, looking away to examine himself and when his eyes peered back into mine, the image I had seen was gone.
I just shook my head a couple times and fell back onto the bed, turning on my side so my back was facing him.
"So your name is Seth, right?" He asked me but I quickly went back to being reticent again. I regretted opening my mouth at all.
"I have a cousin named Seth..." He informed me like it was something very interesting.
After a moment of silence on both ends, I heard him sigh and the chair he sat in creaked.
For some reason I was trembling and no matter how hard I tried to lie still I just shouldn't stop. I flipped my body over so I was on my back again and out of the corner of my eye I saw that he wasn't at the side of my bed anymore.
Curious, as to where he was I searched the room. It was dark and that made me remember my dream from before, only causing me to become conscious of my how full stomach was. My mouth watered and I felt very uneasy.
It had to go...
"I'm gonna puke!" I shouted out to the room, not knowing where the doctor was hiding.
The door opened and a silhouette appeared in the doorframe.
"Are you getting me a bucket of some sort?" I asked crudely like I was a rich snob, while pitching the bridge of my nose with my eyes closed.
The door closed and I heard his heavy footsteps getting closer.
"Well?" I questioned pretentiously, as I propped myself up onto my elbows but it wasn't the doctor I was looking to now.
"You're not supposed to be in here..." I said firmly, my fists tightening.
"Just hear me out..." Ryan pleaded, holding up his hands like he was surrendering.
"Get out, Ryan!" I shouted, my eyes never leaving him.
"Please, just talk to me!" He begged and for a split second the water in his eyes glistened when the light from the lamp hit them just right.
I could see in his eyes that he knew everything. Like I predicted, Marissa had told and I was ashamed. I studied him. His thumbs twiddled and his body was stiff.
Ryan Atwood was on the verge of tears but that didn't stop me, no, it didn't.
"You're not everyone's hero, Ryan..." I began steadily; my throat ached from holding back tears "Fuck... off"
His lips were tight and I could see his jaw muscle was throbbing. I wanted him to hate me so he would stop caring. I wasn't worth it. Why couldn't anyone see that?
"Bad habits don't die..." I began blankly "they just hibernate." I twisted my lips around to form some sort of sick grin.
He just stood there, gawking at me. I didn't like when people stared.
"Didn't you hear me?!" I screamed, gripping the blanket so tightly my knuckled turned white "I said fuck off, y-you worthless piece of trash!" I struggled to hurt him; my voice was breaking in and out.
"You don't mean that..." He replied quickly, shaking his head no, "I can see it in your eyes that you don't mean it..." He look a step forward, "Look at you... you're shaking"
He was right- I didn't mean it and I was shaking.
Why was he making this so hard?
I put my true emotions in check and went into actor mode.
"You keep telling yourself that, Ryan," I taunted, bring my entwined fingers to the back of my head "Tell yourself it's just the disease." I giggled cruelly, making myself cozy in my bed.
I kept my eyes on him, casually like I didn't really care what his reaction was, but I did. He wasn't giving me much though. His thumbs were still twiddling away, and his body remained hard.
"I love you," He said simply and honestly. He watched me for a moment and then turned on his heels and left the room.
I sucked in a quick breath, slowly letting it out like smooth tobacco smoke.
His words kept running through my mind like the way food did and I wanted to tell him that I loved him too, but I didn't.
I crawled under the covers and drifted off to sleep.