Chapter Three - Does it really matter?
Mood swings. That was what his odd feelings were, nothing but mood swings. It was the only explanation for the feelings that Will had found himself experiencing when around Jack, and it was one that satisfied his need to stay loyal to Elizabeth, even when she wasn't particularly loyal to him. Mood swings were fine, because they were flexible, and allowed him to still love Elizabeth, and to reconcile that with his newly found feelings for Jack.
They also explained the jealousy that had burned him as he had watched Jack farewell his various female "friends" before they left Tortuga. Mood swings certainly weren't uncommon amongst people - Elizabeth certainly had them - and after being pushed off a wall by one's fiance, they seemed entirely justified.
Mood swings were why, later on that day when the 'Pearl was attacked, Will found himself thinking of Jack's safety over his own, even when he knew that the pirate captain was far better at taking care of himself than Will was, and why, when the man Jack was fighting got in a good blow and sliced Jack's left arm open, Will put his three hours of practise a day to good use, and attacked with fury tha- t he had only previously felt for Barbossa and his crew and, strangely enough, Jack. It was the way that he had fought when Barbossa's crew had attacked the 'Pearl and Elizabeth had been in danger, only it was more furious, even more personal than it had been then.
By the time the fight was over, and their opponents - a pirating ship foolishly out to try and make a good name for themselves by besting the feared Black Pearl and it's captain - defeated, Will was close to exhausted. It was all very well, he had found when fighting Jack for the first time, to practise for three hours a day by oneself, but when it came to facing off against an armed opponent, things were a lot more difficult. Only adrenaline, and that strange protective urge he had felt when Jack was hurt, kept him on his feet during the fight, and then after, when it came time to patch up the members of the crew who had been injured.
Jack was one of the more seriously injured - his left arm bleeding profusely, although one wouldn't have known that he was hurt by the way he fought - and whilst Will wanted to be the one to tend to his friend, he left him to the more experienced Gibbs, and set off to help those with lesser injuries.
By the time the last injured member of the Black Pearl had been patched up, and Will was ready to head off into a corner of the boat and simply sleep, he realised that Jack had up and disappeared somewhere. Despite the calls of his body, which was telling him to go and find that corner, Will set off for the Captain's cabin, knowing that he would find Jack there, mostlikely drinking his fill of the rum that he had stowed on board the ship. Pushing open the door, he found that his assumption had been correct, and that Jack was indeed, sitting in his cabin drinking rum.
A dirty white bandage was wrapped around his left arm, which he held carefully as if moving it would cause him unwanted pain - not unlikely, given what Will had seen of the wound - and he appeared to be drinking down the rum like a parched man would water. He looked far more tired than Will had ever seen him look before, a bone-deep weariness in his eyes that looked almost like despair.
When he noticed Will, he motioned him into the room with the hand holding the rum, splashing drops of it on the floor of the cabin.
"'M getting old, whelp," he said once Will had settled himself comfortably on Jack's bed - the only available place to sit in the room. "that man shouldn' have got me so bad, but he did. Blow to m' pride, tha' was. Makes me think I'm getting too old for this whole pirate business." He sighed, staring at the wall. "Mind you," he said thoughtfully, when Will, who was shocked at what Jack had said, didn't reply. "I think tha's just the rum talking." He looked at the bottle in his hand, a lost expression in his eyes. "Makin' m' head do funny things, what with this bleedin' cut on my arm too."
Will offerred a weak laugh, more for his own sake than Jack's - he didn't want to think about Jack being too old for pirating, he knew it was the other man's life - and nodded. "Rum'll do that." he muttered half-heartedly.
Jack seemed to brighten marginally at that, and stood, swaggering over to Will and sitting himself down on the bed beside him. "So what brings you here, William?"
Will shrugged. He couldn't very well tell Jack that he had come because he was worried about to him - the pirate certainly wouldn't take to that well - but nor was he willing to tell him that he had simply wanted to be in his company. "Nothing else to do." he said finally, the only thing he could think of to say that wouldn't incriminate him in some way.
"There's always something to do on a ship." Jack told him sagely, shaking the rum bottle at him. "But don' worry, I don' mind havin' you here."
He looked utterly sincere, and Will couldn't help but wonder how much he should read into that statement. He decided that Jack Sparrow was confusion embodied - all subtle hints and suggestive glances that Will didn't know how to take. It was all strangely enticing, an air that lured Will to him, tainted, but somehow far more to him than Elizabeth could ever hope to be.
He didn't mind having to spend time alone with Jack - far from it - but he found himself at a loss for words, and for what he should do. Jack was no help either, he simply sat there, watching Will through half-lidded eyes.
Suddenly Jack seemed too far away, despite the fact that the distance between them was barely there, and Will found himself leaning towards him. Jack stopped him with a hand placed squarely on the middle of his chest, fingers splayed out over his heart, and Will experienced that same rush that he had felt when Jack had been running his hands down his chest mere days ago. This time though, there was warning mixed with what Will now recognized to be desire in Jack's eyes.
"It's not going to mean anything, Will." Jack said softly, gently. "Nothing."
"What?" Will asked, not understanding what Jack was trying to say.
"If you decide that you want to go any further than what you have already, you need to know that it won't mean anything to me." Jack replied, idly tapping his fingers against Will's chest. "I'm not your bonnie lass, and I'm not about to start spouting declarations of my undying love for you. I'm Captain Jack Sparrow and I'm not settling down with anyone. No one's gonna make an honest man out of me. Know that."
It didn't matter, Will thought, didn't matter. Once would be enough to satisfy him, and then he could go back to Elizabeth, and forget all about Jack Sparrow and the sea that he ruled. It was merely closure, a means to getting Jack out of his head and his thoughts back to the woman he had proposed to.
"It doesn't matter." Will replied with certainty, and then Jack's lips were on his and all he could do was feel. Feel Jack's roughened hands as they moved over his body, gentle one moment, rough the next. Feel Jack's breath mingling with his own, tasting of rum and the sea. Feel Jack's lips on his own - they were chapped, roughened from years with ocean winds blowing over them - and the shivers that their touch sent through him, and the desire that Jack's tongue expertly exploring his mouth made him feel. Jack was far more *real* than Elizabeth had been, beautiful, porcelain-like Elizabeth paled in comparison to Jack and his touch of reality. He was so much more than Elizabeth, meant so much more, and suddenly Will pulled back, heart racing and body aching to feel more of Jack's touch on his skin. Longing for both he and Jack to be rid of troublesome clothes, and to feel the play of naked skin upon naked skin, and the sensations that would be created, and...
"It *does* matter." Will said sadly, voice husky, full of desire and pain. "It matters, and I can't do this."
He stood, determined to get as far away from Jack as possible before he gave into the urges that he was feeling and forgot to care that it mattered. Jack collapsed back onto his bed, eyes closed - beautiful - and lips pursed together - controlled. Will was certain that Jack wasn't going to say anything to him, but as he left, he caught a faint echo of his own words coming from Jack's lips, and didn't know what to make of them.
"It does matter."
~
A/N: And chapter three is up! Yay! I have been unable to login for the past two days and i have no idea why, anyone else had this problem?
Thanks to all the people who told me to have a good time in Japan - it was great, and I desperately want to go back again.
Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and as always, please review...
Mood swings. That was what his odd feelings were, nothing but mood swings. It was the only explanation for the feelings that Will had found himself experiencing when around Jack, and it was one that satisfied his need to stay loyal to Elizabeth, even when she wasn't particularly loyal to him. Mood swings were fine, because they were flexible, and allowed him to still love Elizabeth, and to reconcile that with his newly found feelings for Jack.
They also explained the jealousy that had burned him as he had watched Jack farewell his various female "friends" before they left Tortuga. Mood swings certainly weren't uncommon amongst people - Elizabeth certainly had them - and after being pushed off a wall by one's fiance, they seemed entirely justified.
Mood swings were why, later on that day when the 'Pearl was attacked, Will found himself thinking of Jack's safety over his own, even when he knew that the pirate captain was far better at taking care of himself than Will was, and why, when the man Jack was fighting got in a good blow and sliced Jack's left arm open, Will put his three hours of practise a day to good use, and attacked with fury tha- t he had only previously felt for Barbossa and his crew and, strangely enough, Jack. It was the way that he had fought when Barbossa's crew had attacked the 'Pearl and Elizabeth had been in danger, only it was more furious, even more personal than it had been then.
By the time the fight was over, and their opponents - a pirating ship foolishly out to try and make a good name for themselves by besting the feared Black Pearl and it's captain - defeated, Will was close to exhausted. It was all very well, he had found when fighting Jack for the first time, to practise for three hours a day by oneself, but when it came to facing off against an armed opponent, things were a lot more difficult. Only adrenaline, and that strange protective urge he had felt when Jack was hurt, kept him on his feet during the fight, and then after, when it came time to patch up the members of the crew who had been injured.
Jack was one of the more seriously injured - his left arm bleeding profusely, although one wouldn't have known that he was hurt by the way he fought - and whilst Will wanted to be the one to tend to his friend, he left him to the more experienced Gibbs, and set off to help those with lesser injuries.
By the time the last injured member of the Black Pearl had been patched up, and Will was ready to head off into a corner of the boat and simply sleep, he realised that Jack had up and disappeared somewhere. Despite the calls of his body, which was telling him to go and find that corner, Will set off for the Captain's cabin, knowing that he would find Jack there, mostlikely drinking his fill of the rum that he had stowed on board the ship. Pushing open the door, he found that his assumption had been correct, and that Jack was indeed, sitting in his cabin drinking rum.
A dirty white bandage was wrapped around his left arm, which he held carefully as if moving it would cause him unwanted pain - not unlikely, given what Will had seen of the wound - and he appeared to be drinking down the rum like a parched man would water. He looked far more tired than Will had ever seen him look before, a bone-deep weariness in his eyes that looked almost like despair.
When he noticed Will, he motioned him into the room with the hand holding the rum, splashing drops of it on the floor of the cabin.
"'M getting old, whelp," he said once Will had settled himself comfortably on Jack's bed - the only available place to sit in the room. "that man shouldn' have got me so bad, but he did. Blow to m' pride, tha' was. Makes me think I'm getting too old for this whole pirate business." He sighed, staring at the wall. "Mind you," he said thoughtfully, when Will, who was shocked at what Jack had said, didn't reply. "I think tha's just the rum talking." He looked at the bottle in his hand, a lost expression in his eyes. "Makin' m' head do funny things, what with this bleedin' cut on my arm too."
Will offerred a weak laugh, more for his own sake than Jack's - he didn't want to think about Jack being too old for pirating, he knew it was the other man's life - and nodded. "Rum'll do that." he muttered half-heartedly.
Jack seemed to brighten marginally at that, and stood, swaggering over to Will and sitting himself down on the bed beside him. "So what brings you here, William?"
Will shrugged. He couldn't very well tell Jack that he had come because he was worried about to him - the pirate certainly wouldn't take to that well - but nor was he willing to tell him that he had simply wanted to be in his company. "Nothing else to do." he said finally, the only thing he could think of to say that wouldn't incriminate him in some way.
"There's always something to do on a ship." Jack told him sagely, shaking the rum bottle at him. "But don' worry, I don' mind havin' you here."
He looked utterly sincere, and Will couldn't help but wonder how much he should read into that statement. He decided that Jack Sparrow was confusion embodied - all subtle hints and suggestive glances that Will didn't know how to take. It was all strangely enticing, an air that lured Will to him, tainted, but somehow far more to him than Elizabeth could ever hope to be.
He didn't mind having to spend time alone with Jack - far from it - but he found himself at a loss for words, and for what he should do. Jack was no help either, he simply sat there, watching Will through half-lidded eyes.
Suddenly Jack seemed too far away, despite the fact that the distance between them was barely there, and Will found himself leaning towards him. Jack stopped him with a hand placed squarely on the middle of his chest, fingers splayed out over his heart, and Will experienced that same rush that he had felt when Jack had been running his hands down his chest mere days ago. This time though, there was warning mixed with what Will now recognized to be desire in Jack's eyes.
"It's not going to mean anything, Will." Jack said softly, gently. "Nothing."
"What?" Will asked, not understanding what Jack was trying to say.
"If you decide that you want to go any further than what you have already, you need to know that it won't mean anything to me." Jack replied, idly tapping his fingers against Will's chest. "I'm not your bonnie lass, and I'm not about to start spouting declarations of my undying love for you. I'm Captain Jack Sparrow and I'm not settling down with anyone. No one's gonna make an honest man out of me. Know that."
It didn't matter, Will thought, didn't matter. Once would be enough to satisfy him, and then he could go back to Elizabeth, and forget all about Jack Sparrow and the sea that he ruled. It was merely closure, a means to getting Jack out of his head and his thoughts back to the woman he had proposed to.
"It doesn't matter." Will replied with certainty, and then Jack's lips were on his and all he could do was feel. Feel Jack's roughened hands as they moved over his body, gentle one moment, rough the next. Feel Jack's breath mingling with his own, tasting of rum and the sea. Feel Jack's lips on his own - they were chapped, roughened from years with ocean winds blowing over them - and the shivers that their touch sent through him, and the desire that Jack's tongue expertly exploring his mouth made him feel. Jack was far more *real* than Elizabeth had been, beautiful, porcelain-like Elizabeth paled in comparison to Jack and his touch of reality. He was so much more than Elizabeth, meant so much more, and suddenly Will pulled back, heart racing and body aching to feel more of Jack's touch on his skin. Longing for both he and Jack to be rid of troublesome clothes, and to feel the play of naked skin upon naked skin, and the sensations that would be created, and...
"It *does* matter." Will said sadly, voice husky, full of desire and pain. "It matters, and I can't do this."
He stood, determined to get as far away from Jack as possible before he gave into the urges that he was feeling and forgot to care that it mattered. Jack collapsed back onto his bed, eyes closed - beautiful - and lips pursed together - controlled. Will was certain that Jack wasn't going to say anything to him, but as he left, he caught a faint echo of his own words coming from Jack's lips, and didn't know what to make of them.
"It does matter."
~
A/N: And chapter three is up! Yay! I have been unable to login for the past two days and i have no idea why, anyone else had this problem?
Thanks to all the people who told me to have a good time in Japan - it was great, and I desperately want to go back again.
Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and as always, please review...