Three Gryffindors and A Baby

by Celeste

An accident in Potions-where else?-turns Snape into an infant. Dumbledore in his glorious wisdom, and because it makes a nice plot, leaves him in the care of Harry, Ron, and Hermione.

7. From the Mouths of Babes

Three Gryffindors and a Baby

::celeste::

Fanmail to celestialsilence@mchsi.com

Disclaimerness: I don't own Harry Potter (duh) that honor belongs to Rowling, the genius that she is. I'm just borrowing her people and locking them in little cages for my (and your?) amusement. I promise to give them back relatively unharmed. Well, Snape may need some serious counseling after this. Anyhoo I make not one penny off this story, and I don't even have a penny so it's quite pointless to sue. Thanks.

Summary: An accident in Potions (where else?) turns Snape into an infant. Dumbledore in his glorious wisdom (and because it makes a nice plot) leaves him in the care of Harry, Ron, and Hermione.

Dedication: To Kayla, my cousin Rhonda's daughter, who is the most adorable little thing alive. And yes, I am a bit biased about that ^.^ Also to Rowling- hoping her current pregnancy is a wonderful experience.

Special Thanks: My eternal gratitude to Rhonda Amos- special beta who did a great job. Without all the help, this thing would be overridden with errors. Also to the reviewers, who make it all worth my while.

Note: Thanks to everyone for the awesome reviews for Chapter 6. I'm glad the Quidditch Match went over so well.

There has been a misunderstanding, however, about the current state of Snape. I take full responsibility as the author. That's why the reviews are so important, so that when I re-post chapters once the story is finished, I can fix these errors.

So let me clarify it here, Snape is not a gigantic 100 lbs baby. Merely an older baby, 14 months, but of average size for that age. *sheepish grin* Sorry about the confusion in chapter 6.

Fan Art: Camilla drew a spectacular pic of a scene from Chapter 6. Namely the end of the Quidditch match. You can view the art at http://www.cosmicuniverse.net/pics/hpss.jpg I think Harry looks totally heroic, and Snape is adorable. Wonderful job Camilla! You can view more of her works at http://www.cosmicuniverse.net

Happily serving 200 reviewers since December 2002 :D

Chapter 7

From the Mouths of Babes

The following day, Peter Pettigrew (aka Wormtail), stood shivering harder than Neville Longbottom during a Potion's Final, and for good reason. Next to him, seated in a throne carved by wand out of the stone which lined the cave they currently occupied, was Lord Voldemort. Or, as Wormtail preferred to think of him, Moldywart. Not that he ever addressed him as such, of course. Just because he was the Dark Lord's favorite lackey didn't mean he liked the monster. Peter was terrified of him, if the way his bladder always wanted to release itself in his presence was any indication. But Wormtail had never liked him.

Voldemort had a face that even his mother would have turned away from. Then probably been murdered for doing so. Sociopath were rarely discriminating of their victims.

Wormtail was also shivering violently from the chill in the damp atmosphere. It was a cave located somewhere in Scotland, obscured within one of the many cliffs lining the sea. It was a typical cavern. Firelight from the various torches providing the smallest amount of illumination. Enough to navigate, but not enough to keep one from jabbing thier toe. The drips from still-forming stalagmites echoed through the endless caverns which branched off further ahead of their own. Gray stone carved with the passing of some now extinct river jutted out all around him. If Wormtail never saw another cave in his life he would be only too happy. They were thoroughly depressing places.

Voldemort, not so surprisingly, seemed right at home as he lounged in his throne. The aspiring world conqueror had his feet propped up on his latest muggle kill situated like a make shift ottoman. The muggle gazed unseeing with cloudy blue eyes under blonde hair tinged with dried blood. She had been a very pretty young girl before Voldemort had cast Crucio on her, not once, but a total of ten times. It wasn't until the end that Wormtail heard her whispered name- Mary Sue.

In front of the grisly scene stood Lucius Malfoy. Wormtail always caught a murderous glare from the aristocratic Wizard whenever Lucius' cold gray eyes locked with his own blue. The animangus knew that Lucius was displeased with being pushed out of his former standing. Actually, displeased was probably a severe understatement. Enraged was a closer term. Furthered by the fact that Wormtail was a Gryffindor merely added insult to injury.

But it was Wormtail who had handed the Potters to Voldemort on a silver platter. Wormtail who had protected and helped Voldemort at his most vulnerable, if the dark wizard could ever be considered vulnerable. It was he who had given up his hand to help bring about a new body.

Even though his new silver appendage was ten times as strong and resistant to many forms of magic, the hand had several disadvantages. To start with, he could no longer feel anything from mid-forearm down. Good for pain, bad for pleasure. It had lost some of it's dexterity and his penmanship, something Wormtail had always prided himself on before, suffered extensively. It was cold as ice to the touch.

And it itched for some odd reason.

Even now, as he attempted to assuage the sensation, it irked him greatly. The itch could never be satisfied, no matter what he used. One time he had even tried a knife, cutting the silver skin. There was no blood, no pain, nothing. But it still itched. Voldemort said it was a mental problem. Like he was one to talk about emotional issues.

The wizard's red eyes glanced at him briefly as Wormtail raked his nails viciously into his silver hand, and a look of amusement combined with disgust crossed the skeletal features. It was rather hard to read Voldemort's face, for obvious reasons, but Wormtail had learned. He now considered it a survival skill.

"Stop that," Voldemort hissed as the thin membrane of what used to be eyelids narrowed. "You're making me itch."

Wormtail promptly obeyed and even managed to stutter out an apology. Lucius snorted in repulsion. A cold glare from Voldemort chastised Lucius, and the blonde wizard winced slightly.

"Now," Voldemort began, "I'm sure you are curious as to why you are here, Lucius."

Lucius bowed his head so deeply his chin nearly touched his collarbone. "I am honored to be in your presence my lord."

Voldemort smiled, the slit on the lower half of his bleached white skin lifting slightly to one side. "Such an eloquent brown noser. It's why I like you." He laughed harshly, a raspy sound that made both men shiver. Once he had calmed down from his self-appreciative humor, he continued. "Your son- Draco, I believe- attends Hogwarts. So he must have told you about your fellow Death Eaters'- shall we say- delicate condition?" Lucius' chest puffed out with paternal pride, obviously pleased Voldemort remembered his son at all.

Wormtail suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. Lucius only talked about Draco every five minutes of the day. "He has confirmed the reports from the Daily Prophet. Oddly, my lord, he mentioned Snape had been entrusted into Harry Potter's care."

"Ah yesss." Voldemort replied, his red eyes glowing with hatred. "Harry Potter. Very curious Dumbledore should do that. I have my own theories, of course. Ultimately this works to my advantage. If Severus is with Potter, then Potter is linked to me. Perhaps Severus has truly managed to fool the old coot after all. Snape is rather slippery, a worthy Slytherin. I was almost sure Dumbledore would have realized Severus allegiance by now." Voldemort laughed again. "Perhaps he truly is losing his mind after all these years."

"Undoubtedly." Lucius stated, agreeing heartily. "Dumbledore is a fool. Not nearly so sharp as he leads others to believe."

"I never said he was a fool, Lucius." Voldemort hissed. "You've already made the mistake once of underestimating him. Don't make it again." He drew a lazy finger in circles around the arm of his throne. "After all, we must learn from our mistakes."

Wormtail bit on his tongue to keep from pointing out Voldemort certainly hadn't learned from his own mistakes. For instance, why he continually sought revenge against Harry. Every time, the boy managed to cheat Voldemort's revenge, nearly ruining all those carefully fashioned plans. Still, contrary to popular opinion, Wormtail wasn't stupid enough to point that out.

Lucius seemed properly chastised as he muttered some answer. Voldemort waved it off before continuing. "In any case, Severus may actually prove useful to me again. Since his 'inside' information is sketchy at best, I've been wondering what to do with my little spy. I don't think he's shown the revel for murder he used to, and it distresses me. Severus used to be so proficient at interrogation." A sad look fluttered onto Voldemort's face. "I will miss the blood, the smells." He flicked his serpentine tongue into the air as if to taste the scent once again.

Wormtail frowned. "Are you going to kill him then?"

Voldemort shrugged, which was a very odd gesture for a reptilian man to make. "Perhaps. I have yet to decide. Depends on what Madam LeStrange has to say once we get her out of Azkaban. Since you," and here he glared at Lucius, "have been unable to attain those trial transcripts."

Lucius visibly swallowed. "Sealed by Fudge."

"So you've said." Voldemort replied. "We've already had this discussion, I don't want to repeat it. I hate repeating myself. In any event, until we hear LeStrange's explanation for her capture we'll have to wait. But back to the reason I've brought you here Lucius, is to ask you of your son's loyalties."

Lucius straightened his back and stood at his full height. He lifted his chin and stared straight into Voldemort's beady red eyes. "Draco is eagerly anticipating the day he may obtain the Dark Mark from you, my lord. Your wish is his command."

"Excellent." Voldemort's eyes gleamed with excitement. "I have a job for your young heir. If he completes it successfully, then no doubt great things await him within our fold." Voldemort paused before continuing, slightly flexing his fingers. "If he fails, however, I will be most-- disappointed."

Lucius shook his head viciously. "He will not fail you."

"Then here is what I would like Draco to do for me…"

And Voldemort began.

Hermione and Snape, at the same time, were having their own little 'conversation'. If one could call it such. Mostly it involved a lot of gentle chastising in a sing-song voice from Hermione, and angry one word rebukes from the normally eloquent Potion Master. The prime word of choice at that moment being-

"NUH!"

Hermione batted her doe brown eyes at Snape. "Please?"

"NUH!" Came the reply, the closest Snape could approximate a 'no'.

She wagged the bright red sweater Molly Weasley had sent with a large S in gold in front of Snape. It was adorably cute, if one found tiny knitted baby sweaters crocheted in Gryffindor colors as such. Which Snape most certainly didn't. Still, Hermione persisted. "But baby Snapey will be cold if he doesn't wear it."

Snape began to turn a red that matched the sweater, simultaneously banging his small fists against the high chair situated in Hermione's room. "NUH! NUH! NUH!" Each rebuke came accompanied with a bang.

Hermione began chewing on her bottom lip, a sign of deep contemplation, as she regarded Snape. He glared back with fire in his onyx eyes, an attempted recreation of the patented stare that sent most first years scurrying in terror. The effect was diminished somewhat by the protruding lower lip.

His nose was no longer abnormally large, but button like with a noticeable bump in the middle. His hair had lengthened somewhat, and laid flat against his head. The strands themselves were of a very soft texture, and a bit wavy towards the bottom.

But those giant black orbs were definitely still a focal point.

Hermione had to repress a smile. He was so cute.

"Mrs. Weasley went to all that trouble to make it for you." Hermione pointed out.

Snape was unimpressed. "Weez'eyz." He banged his fist on the chair again. "Buwz uph."

"It will not blow up." Hermione stated with finality. "Fred and George didn't make it."

Snape scowled and shook his head- only succeeding in making it warble back and forth. "Nuh."

"Today is Double Potions." She sang. "You want to be warm in the dungeons."

Snape's eyes lit with her mention of Potions. "Pushunz." He repeated.

"Potions." Hermione replied. "That's right. You remember potions, don't you?"

Snape nodded enthusiastically. "Pushunz!" He exclaimed.

"Yes." Hermione agreed with excitement. "You like Potions, but it's so cold down there. Burrr." She hugged her arms and shivered for added emphasis.

"Gwif'duh." Snape eying the sweater distastefully. "Nuh."

It was amazing, she thought, what he seemed to remember. His vocabulary for a fourteen month old was astounding. Grossly limited compared to what it may once have been, but impressive none the less. He seemed to recall everyone's name, houses, even their colors.

Hermione's theory was it all had something to do with the mandrake roots. Although the potion she had used last night depended mostly on the aged troll eyes, the mandrake was restoring his body and mind to the state it had been at before. It seemed to be clearing his thoughts, and bringing out more of his personality with it as well.

Unfortunately, that meant he was much more disagreeable than before.

"Silver and green?" Hermione asked soothingly.

"Thul-va." He repeated slowly, working the words around his tongue. "Gween."

Hermione pulled out her wand and quickly whispered a charm. In an instant, the red transformed into the deep green from Slytherin's banner. The golden S and trim transforming into a silvery gray. Snape's eyes widened and he smiled. "Thli-th'n."

"That's right." Hermione answered. "Slytherin." Amazing. She was definitely going to have to write a paper on his marvelous progress.

Suddenly his eyes darkened and he shook his head. "Ba phuy."

"Ba phuy?" Her voice must have held a note of confusion, because Snape looked at her with pleading eyes.

"Ba phuy!" He shouted. He inhaled sharply before repeating it a third time. "Ba phuy!"

Hermione shook her head. "Ba phuy?"

Snape's mouth worked furiously. "Ba-" a tuft of air, "Mah-" another inhale, "phuy!"

It was apparent to Hermione that he was becoming frustrated. This was beginning to happen quite often as he tried to communicate something to them that they didn't understand. He became angry with himself, knowing something was wrong. And if he became too frustrated, he became cranky. And if a disagreeable Snape was bad, a cranky Snape was a nightmare.

But these moments of lucidness from him, where something surfaced from his mind, were occurring with more frequency. Something was troubling him greatly. She doubted he fully understood what it was, but she could see the terror in him during those moments. As if some dark image was emerging from the depths.

Snape was no ordinary baby. Snape was a man with a troubled past, who had probably seen things that would give any adult nightmares for years. After the mandrake, it seemed his mind was trying to juggle between what he was and what he is. It produced fleeting moments of recollection that Snape couldn't comprehend. Not in his current mental or physical condition.

She shushed him and smoothed his hair in a soothing manner. "It's ok. It's ok." She repeated to him over and over.

After several minutes he seemed to calm down. Whatever it had been that troubled him was loosing it's coherency and being forgotten. Snape sighed before closing his eyes and visibly relaxing.

Hermione knew the Troll Eyes would be out of his system in another few days and they would be able to try again. Hopefully her new formula would work. She couldn't deny that she enjoyed Snape's current state, but she would be glad when her Professor was able to form a coherent sentence again. Even if that sentence was some kind of insult.

She picked him up after tugging the sweater on his tiny body, and smiled down on him. "Potions time!"

"Pushunz!"

It was with relish that Hermione deposited Snape into the Playpen after the trio were the last ones to arrive. Lupin was shuffling essays on the top of Snape's desk when he noted their appearance. He nodded to Hermione and carefully arranged the pile neatly to the side of his desk.

"Today we will be preparing a salve for minor burns. It seems Madam Pomfrey has run a bit low after all the accidents with Hagrid's Skrewts." Several of the fifth year students shuddered at the memory of their third year curriculum. "You can find the instructions on page--"

Lupin was interrupted by a demanding voice. "A'muz!"

The temporary instructor quickly looked to his right, where Snape leaned against the edge of his play pen. The tiny hands gripped the edges tightly, and large onyx eyes alight with fire glared at him. "A'muz!"

Lupin threw a quick look to the three Gryffindors whom were entrusted with Snape's care. They all had the same confused expressions, obviously having no idea what this was all about. Lupin sighed mentally before standing up and striding towards the pen. "Yes Severus?"

"Wuk." Snape demanded as he dropped to his knees and crawled towards the corner. Lupin followed his progress with his own eyes. Soon Snape grabbed onto some sort of doll he had not noticed before. Snape turned and proceeded back to the edge where Lupin stood. It took a minute before he was able to cross the small distance, but as soon as Snape arrived, he latched onto one of the bars and hauled himself upright.

Lupin crouched down so that Snape was a foot below him. It was then that Snape presented the object that he had collected.

A furry werewolf doll, with gray hair and a benign expression, was what Snape had apparently wanted to show him. Lupin's mouth drew together into a taught line, and his nose twitched with aggitation. Snape smirked at the response and proceeded to viciously chew on the doll's ear with his tiny new teeth. A sadistic expression flittered across his cherub face- something that would doubtlessly give Lupin nightmares for a few weeks.

Lupin sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, willing it to stop ticking. Nearby, the few Slytherins who could see their Head of House's actions snickered. Lupin stood to his full height and regarded Snape, who was still mouthing the werewolf. "Very funny Severus. Now, if you don't mind I have a class to teach."

"Wuf!" Snape replied while glaring. "Wuf!"

Now, being accused by Snape was a very regular occurrence for Lupin. Unfortunately, so was ridicule for his lycanthropy. However, this was the first time such prejudice had came from a small baby chewing a doll and gazing at him with deepest loathing in his eyes.

Lupin was taken slightly aback by it at first, but his brain also registered the remarkable fact that Snape was trying to bait him.

"Cats already out of the bag on that one Severus." Lupin remarked casually before turning back to the class. "Please turn to page one thirteen in your books and begin studying the instructions. Hermione, Harry, Ron- please accompany me into Professor Snape's office."

Lupin then bent over and lifted Snape from the play pen, earning a squawk of surprise which was delightful to Lupin's ears, before striding towards the doors. Snape continued to beat the doll into Lupin's arm as he was carried. "WUF! WUF!"

The other Professor deafened his ears to Snape's repeated mantra. He waited for the trio to proceed him into the room before closing the door. Lupin sat Snape onto the desk, keeping a firm hold so Snape would not roll off. Snape continued to cling to the werewolf doll- gazing at Lupin with trepidation. It seemed to finally register that Lupin was a good deal larger than himself.

Lupin turned to Hermione. "How long has he been able to speak?"

"Since last night, sir." The bushy haired witch answered. "He's been very vocal since then."

"No kidding." Ron muttered. "I've been insulted more times since last night than my entire Potions classes combined."

Snape began to chew on the ear of his doll, the little Professor had been teething lately. Lupin watched him for a few more minutes. "He looks older this morning. Is he growing at an accelerated pace?"

"I administered a potion last night, and it seems to have had positive results. He's not himself, but he's definitely improved. As far as I can tell, the Mandrake has had some very noticeable effects. I think his memory is returning." Hermione pursed her lips before continuing. "But he's had some problems too."

Lupin looked at Snape with concern. "Such as?"

"Well, he's still a baby," Hermione clarified, "but he's been trying to communicate some troubling recollection. Since Professor Snape isn't developed mentally enough to understand- it's upsetting him. He woke up five times last night trembling. He's very frightened, sir."

Harry turned to Hermione. "Why didn't you tell me that?"

Hermione furrowed her eyebrows as she considered Harry. "I didn't think I had to wake everyone else up over nightmares. He seemed to forget them pretty quickly."

"I had a nightmare too." Harry said softly.

Lupin switched his concern from Snape to Harry. "Does your scar hurt?"

"No." Harry answered. "That's why I didn't really think much of it until Hermione just mentioned Snape's." Harry paused for a moment. "But Snape doesn't have the same, bond, with Voldemort that I do."

"The name." Ron hissed with a pale face. "Don't say the name."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "For goodness sakes Ron."

"It's probably nothing." Harry continued, ignoring Ron and Hermione. "I've had quite a few nightmares since the Tournament."

Lupin studied Harry, taking in the pain that flashed in the emerald eyes, pain that had never been in Lily's. The boy had seen too much, been denied too much. Lupin was uncertain if Harry's nightmares were another foreshadowing of Voldemort's plans. Yet, he was hesitant to ask the Boy Who Lived to recall whatever had disturbed his slumber.

Perhaps Snape still held some answers, some insight they were lacking. The man had always possessed an uncanny talent for fishing out suspicious circumstances. He had always enjoyed sticking that huge nose where it didn't belong and that brush with death during their school days was a good example. Had he not been so obsessed with discovering Lupin's continual absences in class, perhaps he wouldn't have listened to Black.

Lupin frowned. It did no good to dwell on the past that he could not change. Too much was going on in the present.

He turned to Hermione. "If Professor Snape says anything unusual, tell me. Keep trying that formula. You're on to something here, Hermione. Don't let a set back discourage you. We need Snape restored to his usual, unpleasant self."

Hermione nodded. "I will, sir. He did say one thing while I was dressing him for Potions."

"Oh?" Lupin asked.

"Ba phuy." Hermione shrugged her shoulders. "Whatever that means."

Snape, dropped the werewolf doll and looked up at the mention of his earlier statement. He got to his hands and knees and crawled towards the edge where Lupin stood. "Phuy." He said vehemently. "Ba ba ba phuy!"

"He sounds like a bloody sheep." Ron commented. Lupin gave a stern look to the red head before picking up Snape and holding him at eye level.

"What are you trying to tell us, Severus?" Lupin wondered softly aloud.

Snape huffed the air angrily. "Thult!"

"That's dolt, sir." Ron clarified. "I recognize that word. He only screamed it at me every thirty seconds."

"Hmm." Lupin sat Snape back onto the desk. "Still the gift for insult I see." Lupin remarked cheerily, any trace of uneasiness removed. "Well, let's get you three back to class. You have a salve to make."

Harry and Ron sighed dejectedly, while Hermione brightened. They turned back, and re-entered the class. The cheery expression fell from Lupin's face as soon as they left the room. He continued to regard Snape for several more minutes before finally speaking. "Something wicked this way comes."

Snape didn't seem to understand the quote, but grabbed his doll and looked meaningfully at the open doorway. "Pushunz?"

Lupin gave a genuine chuckle before picking Snape back up. "Some things never change."

The rest of class was relatively uneventful as the students finished up their salve. Snape continued to savage the werewolf doll fiercely, taunting Lupin every few minutes. Lupin ignored him and paced the length of the room as Snape would've done, though with the noticeable lack of 'swooping' around the students menacingly.

Draco was absent, apparently milking the injury from the game the night before. Consequently, Crabbe and Goyle seemed a little clueless around the cauldron, their salve turning a deep green instead of honey yellow. Lupin instructed them to pour it out and give their cauldrons a good scrubbing.

They all had ten minutes left to finish the salve when Snuffles sauntered in. Lupin shooed the dog away from Harry and continued to pace the room. Snuffles then went to lay next to Snape's pen, keeping a watchful eye on the baby.

"Bak." Snape spat as the dog joined him. The dog's ears lifted in surprise before growling softly in warning. Lupin shot him a look that said, 'behave' before moving to Neville's side.

Dog and baby eyed each other wearily. Snape picked up a block that had been placed in his pen and tossed it between the bars- knocking Snuffles in the head.

The dog yelped with pain, jumping to his feet and whimpered as he shook his head. Pulling back his lips, he revealed a row of sharp teeth as he growled, much louder this time, and barked a few times at Snape.

Snape just pointed and laughed, seemingly unbothered by the threat from his arch-nemesis. "Bwok heth!" He sang happily before falling onto his back and laughing even harder. Clutching his feet in glee.

Snuffles barked in retort before turning and crossing to the opposite side of the room. He laid down next to the desk, sulking into his paws. Snuffles continued to growl in Snape's direction, but was at least safe from flying wooden toys.

Lupin shook his head as he regarded the two. At least Snape had an excuse for his behavior- for once. He sighed and turned back to Neville, keeping the boy from adding too many lizard tails.

No other incidents occurred until the magical chime. Harry collected Snape from the pen and tossed a smile to Snuffles before following his friend to lunch.

As soon as Harry and Snape left the room, with Snape crying slightly and calling 'pushunz' repeatedly, Lupin locked and warded the door.

He turned towards the now human Black, who was rubbing the side of his head, and arched a brown eyebrow. "We need to talk."

"Don't lecture me Remus," Black muttered while he winced at the size of the bump, "that stupid git started it."

Lupin pinched the bridge of his nose, willing the irritation to go away. "I gave up trying to talk sense into you a long time ago. I'm sure you noticed Severus is speaking again?"

Black snorted. "Speaking? I'd call it baby babble, but to each his own."

Lupin was developing a head ache now. "I'm serious. You'd think with a name like Sirius you could appreciate that."

Black rolled his eyes at the old joke. "Mmmhmm. Get to the point Remus."

"My point is that Severus is trying to communicate something to us. Hermione says he's having nightmares, and so is Harry."

As with any mention of his godson, Black's head snapped to attention. "Does his scar hurt?"

"No." Lupin answered. "But Severus is disturbed-"

"I knew that." Black mumbled.

Lupin ignored him, "and Harry is having nightmares about You Know Who. Not a good sign."

"Well what is the Git saying?"

"Ba phuy." Lupin replied. "Any ideas?"

"None." Black stood up and looked around the room. "Any headache potion?"

Lupin suppressed the urge to smack the back of Black's head to increase the discomfort. Instead he walked over to the cabinet and took out the blue potion. He handed it to the Animangus. "That's Snape's personal supply, so don't start depending on it."

Black un-stoppered the bottle and took a dose. He wiped his mouth with the back of his sleeve before replacing the stopper and handing back to Lupin. "So the git is having the hebie jebies, instead of inspiring them. But you're intent on listening to the opinion of someone who can't wipe their own arse anymore. Harry's having visions of You Know Who dancing in his head. Let me guess, Figg?"

Lupin nodded. "Seems like the best course of action."

"Alright. I'll trot up to the Headmaster and let him know. Then I'll take off for Privet Drive." Black tapped his chin a few times. "He said ba phuy, huh?"

"Yes."

Black's shrugged nonchalantly. "Well I'll pass the message along to Arabella. Hopefully I'll be back before dinner." He turned to Lupin with sparkling blue eyes. "Think you could bring up another steak for me?"

Lupin smiled. "Sure. I'll speak with the Elves."

Black sighed with pleasure and rubbed his stomach. "Love the food here."

He then transformed back into a dog and waited for Lupin to wave the door open with his wand. Lupin watched his old friend scamper out and took a swig of his own from the headache potion. Figg had better have some answers. He hated to think of being caught off guard by Voldemort.

Snape was extremely active around seven that night. Harry figured it had something to do with the long nap he got during Bin's class. Harry and Ron were allowing him to cruise around the Common Room. Taking a few steps by himself, and using chairs and table edges to get around furniture. There was a few wards in place around dangerous areas, like the fireplace. Snape simply bounced off of them if he got to close.

Harry was working on his Transfigurations essay, since McGonagall had allowed them back into class. He chewed the end of his quill, absently spitting out barbs, while he pondered the best way to transfigure clothing. It sounded simple, but getting small nuances was very important. Neville had forgotten the trouser buttons on his first attempt, and almost cried when he realized they had fallen. Giving everyone a plain view of his underwear (decorated with Blarney the Dragon).

A small tug on his Muggle jeans caused Harry to look down. Snape was at his feet, gazing up. "Pooper," he began, "bah-bah."

Pooper was apparently Snape's version of Potter. Harry was unsure if the t's were too difficult to say, or if it was Snape's attempt at infantile humor. He suspected the latter. "Potter." He clarified for the fiftieth time.

"Pooper!" Snape whined. "Bah-bah!"

Harry dropped the quill onto the parchment and lifted Snape onto his lap. Snape crawled around for a moment, pulling himself against Harry's chest before reclining into a comfortable position. Harry turned to his best friend. "Hey Ron, could you get a bottle?"

Ron looked up from his own essay, a blank look in his eyes from the assignment, and registered Snape's presence in Harry's lap. "Hungry?"

"Ya." Harry replied.

"Weezy!" Snape snapped impatiently. "Bah-bah!"

"Alright, alright." Ron grumbled before tugging the bag over. "Your wish is my command Professor."

A blast of wind from Snape's nose, in what was probably meant as a derisive snort, sounded. "Em-bah-syl." Snape added.

"Ooh, a new one." Ron muttered. "What's that, the twentieth insult he's used?"

"Seems like he's recalling more." Harry agreed amiably.

Ron mixed the formula together and filled the bottle. He then passed it along to Harry. Harry was about to pop it into Snape's mouth, when the tiny hands tugged at it from Harry's hand. "Want to do it yourself, then?"

Snape tugged again in response. Harry relaxed his grasp, allowing the third pull to successfully land the bottle in Snape's possession. He leaned into Harry's body and lifted the bottle to his mouth after a small struggle with it's weight.

Snape had a triumphant look in his eyes as he began to suckle. Harry was sure that he must have deplored his dependence upon the despised Gryffindors. The young student placed his arm around Snape and held him steady as he fed.

Ron returned to his assignment and began muttering sentences to write. Harry relaxed into the couch and closed his eyes. The soft crackling of the fire, combined with Snape's presence, lulled him to forgetting the awful vision he had had the night before. Visions of a young blonde girl being mercilessly tortured by a laughing Voldemort.

He was exhausted from the lack of sleep, but had to care for Snape since it was his turn. Hermione was beginning to gain bags under her own eyes from keeping up her intense study regiment, work in the lab, and babysitting. Harry greatly admired her stamina, but knew she could only take so much before collapsing.

He opened one eye to see Snape watching him as he continued to suckle. Harry tilted his head towards his Professor and returned the scrutiny. Snape didn't seem bothered by it, but met his gaze with a curious expression on his face. Harry tried to identify it, but only came up with 'concern'. Well, that was impossible.

Harry blinked a few times, but the same look remained on Snape's features. "You're worrying me Professor." Harry commented softly.

Snape's face went blank before his lips curled into a sneer around the nipple of the bottle. He then released his hold on it, letting the half-drained bottle clatter to the floor. Snape dug a fist into Harry's shirt, and pulled himself up to stare directly into Harry's eyes. "Pooper wuwy 'but Pooper." He snarled.

Harry gaped at Snape in shock. He had NOT just said that, had he? "What?"

Snape frowned but clasped a fist onto Harry's ear and yanked harshly. "WUWY 'BUT POOPER!" He screamed.

This caught everyone's attention. Ron's mouth was opening and closing in a manner that resembled a cod fish. "Did he just say a sentence?"

Harry nodded dumbly, and carefully pulled Snape's hand away. "Okay, Professor."

Snape sat back into Harry's lap and glared up. "Bah-bah." He demanded smoothly, in a parody of that silky voice Harry remembered so well.

"Okay," Harry muttered. He bent sideways and retrieved the bottle, placing it back into Snape's hands. As Snape brought it up to his mouth, Harry smiled lightly. "Hermione's going to be happy about your progress, Professor."

Snape smirked and began to suck his meal down again.

The Dreaded Author's Notes: *::celeste:: bangs her head several times against her desk* AGH! Plot development! Do you know how boring plot development is to write? How much I just want to jump right into it? Just say 'screw this, the readers will figure it all out anyway--', but if I did that my Forms of Fiction Professor would smack me around a few times. He is quite a big fella. Actually, he'd probably smack me around quite a few times for lack of philosophical insight in this particular comedy/adventure. Hmph.

So I had to do the 'plot development' gig. Sorry for that. This called for my unique talent (or curse if you will) of subtle humor-- I think Petigrew with an itching silver arm is quite amusing. Don't know why. Just is.

Ah well. Hope you all are still enjoying the story. I tried to deliver with conversations containing some input and insult from Snape. No ragingly hilarious escapades in this particular chapter, but there shall be more dear readers. There shall be more.

For recap:

Snape's getting smarter. Voldemort's getting crafty. Draco is more than just a spit rag. Sirius is still not serious (LOL--love his name). Remus is getting a headache from potions, plus dealing with Sirius and Snape. Hermione is treating Snape like a fascinating thesis (that HAS to be an oxymoron). Harry is getting told off by a baby. Ron is being insulted. Ya-- think that nicely sums it all up rather nicely.

If you had trouble with understanding Baby Jargon, read the appendix below the 'commercial' for the next chapter of *sucks in deep breath* THREE GRYFFINDORS AND A BABY *waits till walls stop shaking from booming voice, then continues*.

In the Next Chapter:

Sirius rehashes his conversation with the cat-loving Arabella Figg. Needless to say-- he is not a happy camper. Draco gets back on the scene after his brush with the bludger. Snape continues to gain intellect and, subsequently, vocab. Much to Ron's chagrin. Harry resumes his quest of 'getting to know you, getting to know all about yoooou-'. And relative hilarity ensues as Snape tries to play with one of Hogwart's feline residents.

Hope to see you then!

Appendix I:

Baby Babble

Listed in order of appearance in Chapter 7.

Nuh: No

Weez'eyz: Weasleys (entire family- or as Snape is referring, just Fred and George)

Buwz uph: Blows up

Pushunz: Potions

Gwif'duh: Gryffindor

Thul-va: Silver

Gween: Green

Thli-th'n: Slytherin

Ba phuy: HAHAHA I'm NOT telling (But it is pretty easy to figure out)

A'muz: Remus

Wuk: Look

Wuf: Wolf (I know, sounds like 'woof' but it is wolf)

Thult: Dolt

Bak: Black

Bwok heth: Block head

Pooper: Potter (or maybe really is pooper)

bah-bah: Bottle

Weezy: Weasley (as in Ron)

Em-bah-syl: Imbecile

Pooper wuwy 'but Pooper: Potter worry about Potter.

Pretty good for a baby! But I think Snape would still be horrified at his lack of wit at the moment.