When I grow up...
By Todd Fan
Disclaimer: "Sell all my Warner Brothers stock. I have an inside tip that Bugs Bunny's about to die"
**
Haloo there, my dear sweet reviewers, you know this fic has almost 100 reviews already?...That suprised me :D
Elf - Did Amanda get affected? Bwhahahaha!!
Shaine S - Ryro? That's a new one, what's that? Well, Tabby stripping I can certainally provide, but Bobby's ahem, busy
Descendent - Storm and Mystique going at it for Forge? How could I resist!
BaronOBeefDip - Wahooo, I thought I was the only one who knew what a dik- dik was, I'm not alone!! Fuzzy obessions with antelope are always fun!
Asteria - Casino! Of course, mwhahaha....it scares me that I have an obsession with the things, I hope I never go to Vegas, I'll come home broke. Does Seren have a motive?...err...I'm working on that
Seimosuchus - I do adore Noctune, I'm sure I can fit her in somewhere, and bring enough conflict to fill a whole season of soap operas ;)
Tenshi Kanashii - It's okay chucks, no harm no foul ;) Mystique having trouble holding a shape, tee hee.
Zoken - An Ian/Jamie kareoke contest for the hand of Torpid. Too good to miss!
Pirate kit - Yup, being 4'5", I'm an armrest for everyone...pitty one of my friends is 6'5", I can only see him eye-to-eye if he gets on his knees. Forge witnessing said catfight? *Rubs hands with glee*
Draco-luver - Ahh quite a challenge, I think I have met it!
Okay, thats about as much as I can fit in, so here we go!
**
Chapter 5 - It's all relative
**
Amanda sighed as she watched her parents pace the room.
"How could this have happened?", said Margali.
"I bet that freak had something to do with this, he always does!!!", said Mr Sefton.
"Mom, Dad, I really don't think Kurt had anything to do with me turning into a thirty year old woman...honest".
Well....at least she HOPED he hadn't. But with Kurt, who could really know?
*BAMF*
Kurt suddenly teleported into the Sefton's living room, a bold act he would never normally do...but he HAD to make sure Amanda was okay.
"Arrghhhhhh!!!", screamed Margali, passing out.
"YOU!!!", said Mr Sefton, pointing a finger at Kurt, "you're older like her. You must have staged this...."
"But I didn't....", started Kurt.
Mr Sefton carried on heedlessly, his eyes going wider as realisation dawned on his face. He gasped.
"You've made both of yourselves a legal married age so you can elope!".
Kurt blinked, before grinning.
"Gee Mr Sefton, I hadn't thought about THAT!", he said.
"YEY!", said Amanda, taking hold of Kurt's arm, "to Vegas!!!!".
*BAMF*
"Wha....what happened?", said Margali, sitting up woozily, "...where's my daughter?"
Mr Sefton looked at the floor sheepishly, clearing his throat.
"That terrible Wagner boy stole her away...she's ELOPING!!!!", he cried, "to Las Vegas!!!!!"
WHUMP. Margali was once again down for the count.
**
Pietro muttered to himslef as he walked, yes, walked along the road. He was in a full- scale rant with himself, when suddenly something very large fell from the sky, landing with a THUD in front of him.
"Owww", said Warren, "damn it, not I have arthritis in my wings?. I hate this, hate it hate it, hate it!!!".
".....Angel?", said Pietro, narrowing his eyes.
Warren blinked up at Pietro, squinting.
"Mr Pop'N'Fresh?"
Pietro looked at Warren in horror.
"NO, I'm Pietro!!!!", he said, "not a pastry man, not a pastry man!!!"
Warren stumbled to his feet, chuckling and reaching out a hand.
"Let me poke you in the belly, come on, I want to hear you giggle!".
Pietro zipped off as fast as he could, leaving Warren alone.
"Wait, come back!!", called Warren, "I've forgotten where I live!!!"
He paused, sniffing the air.
"Who let one rip?!!!".
**
"Well", said Lance, grinning at Kitty from where they were parked at make- out point, "here we are, all alone..."
"Kitty!!!"
"Oh, COME ON!!!", said Lance, glaring at the sky as a now adult Dani ran up to the car.
"I've been looking for you everywhere", she said breathlessly, "have you seen my grandfather anywhere?. He...err..ran off".
Kitty blinked.
"How can your gandfather 'run' anywhere Dani?", she asked.
Dani gave a nervous laugh.
"Well...y'see..."
**
"Fairy tales can come true, it can happen to you, If you're young at heart", sang a teenaged Black Eagle as he strolled around Bayville park, "For it's hard, you will find, to be narrow of mind, If you're young at heart" [1]
He whistled the tune as he carried on along his way, pausing to pick a rose and smell it. No cane, no arthritis, no forgeting what day it was. This was the life. All he needed now was a lovely young lady to take to dinner....
He got her. Sitting on a bench was a teeange Agatha Harkness, reading a book of witchcraft, while her 'cat', Ebony [2] sat on on her lap. Black Eagle grinned, sauntering over to her and handing her the rose.
"Hello", he said with a grin, "here's a rose..you'd probably want it for that book of yours".
Agatha giggled, blushing.
"Well that's nice", she said, batting her eyelashes.
As the two 'old people' got better aquainted, Jean's SUV drove past them.
"You've lost him", said Mystique.
"I have not!", snapped Storm from behind the wheel, "and keep one form!!!"
Next to her, Mystique was shifting from form to form in the passenger seat.
"Well, if you just let me stay in my normal form, we wouldn't have a problem", said Mystique, then smirked, "but someone has a problem with competition"
Storm SLAMMED on the breaks, stopping the car.
"What. Did. You. Say?".
Mystique grinned evily.
"I can beat you hands down in my normal form, and you know it", she said, "I could turn Forge's head in a second".
"I think not!", snorted Storm.
"I sooooo think so".
"Okay, that's it!", snapped Storm, getting out the car, walking aorund to the other side and dragging Mystique out, "it's go time, missy!!!"
"Oh please, I'd break your little legs!", said Mystique.
"I grew up on the streets of Cairo", said Storm, "I can look after myself, want to put it to the test? Be my guest"
"You're going DOWN, Miss Goddess!!!", screamed Mystique, diving at Storm.
Forge had just been heading out of the nearest mini-mall (ahh sweet accepted age of purchasing alchohol) when he noticed the two women wresting right in front of him.
"Wow, I must have got me some REALLY good karma today", he said, grinning and sitting down, watching as they carried on oblivious.
**
In the Bar, things were going from bad to worse. Alex and Bobby had begun competeing, rather violently, for the love of Lorna, who didn't seen in the slightest bit interested in either of them
"Today, little Ice-Boy, you go down", said Alex, staring down his opponent.
"Not before you do, Beach-Bum", replied Bobby, "I'm ready when you are. Unless you want to back out"
"Hah, I don't want to back out, a Summers never quits", said Alex.
"You'll be laughing on the other side of your face before long"
"..What sort of a comeback is THAT?".
"Shut up, you rootin' tootin'...", started Bobby.
"You're John Wayne now?", said Alex, rolling his eyes.
"Hey, I once played John Wayne in a school play!", snapped Bobby.
".....Your school picked a John Wayne movie for a play? When was it, Kindergarten?"
"For your information, it was 'American Idols', and it was in Elementray School!", said Bobby, "One. Two. Three, GO!"
The pair suddenly began trying to eat dry bar crackers from the full plates in front of them...without water. [3]
"Go, go, go!!!", said Tabby drunkenly from where she as watching them, "eat 'dem little...crackers!"
The rules of nature being what they were, and crackers being so dry, the boys got through half their stash before their throats got VERY dry, and both ended up being spluttering, coughing messes on the table.
"No one wins!", screamed Tabby, as if someone had won, then proceeded to dance on the table, taking off her top.
"Look at her go", said Bobby from his half concious state, "...hey...where'd Lorna go?"
Alex pulled his head up from the table as far as it could go...wich was only a few inches.
"Hot Girl?", he called out hoarsely, "Hot Girl? Come back, Hot Girl!".
In another part of the bar, Piotr had been given the gleefull duty of keeping an eye on Sam. Who was currently trying to see how many prunes he could fit into his mouth.
"I hate this life of mine", said Piotr with a sad sigh, "I wish I had been staying at home".
Sam replied by falling off the bar stool. Jamie, on the toher hand, was getting sick of Torpid and Ian silently flirting with each other.
"THAT'S IT!!!", he snapped, pointing a finger at Ian, "I challenge you to a kareoke contest!!!"
Ian blinked at him for a long time.
~He's mute, you idiot~, came David's voice in Jamie's head.
"...Oh", said Jamie, sitting down and coughing, "I knew that".
~Hey, I only have a sec~, 'said' David', ~but if you help me take over again. No, not you too, Lucas. You could have Torpid all to yourself~
"I'm listening", said Jamie with a wide grin.
**
After Kurt had teleported himself and Amanda a safe distance from her home, he had tried to explain that he couldn't really teleport all the way to Las Vegas, and he had no money to get a plane. So instead, the pair decided to visit the local Casino in the next town, which had recently been put up, after a poll showing an unsually large amount of Bayvillians liked to gamble. [4]
"Wow, I can't believe we can finally get married!", said Amanda with a happy squeal, "and my parents can't stop me!!!"
"Ja, it's a dik-dik of good fortune", said Kurt with a nod.
Amanda blinked at him.
"...What's a dik-dik?".
"I have no idea", said Kurt with a shrug, "...vhere did that come from?...Maybe it's a strange side-effect of the transformation"
"Kaching!!!!"
The couple turned to see Wanda gleefully playing the slot machines in the casino, she was winning, and only using her powers a little...okay, every time. And now she looked her true age, she had no reason to be kicked out. [5] Whoo-hoo!!!
"Hi Wanda!", said Amanda, then gave her a big grin, "hey want to be a bridesmaid in a wedding in a hurry? Kurt already asked the bell-boy to be his best man".
Wanda blinked at them, contemplating this.
"Mm...I dunno....."
"You'll get a whole bag of free playing chiiiiips", said Kurt.
That sealed the deal. And so, Kurt, Amanda, Wanda and the Bell-Boy headed off towards the wedding chapel. Only to have a large, bizare shaft of light appear in front of them. With a thump, a teenage girl landed in front of them...a fuzzy blue elf girl with black hair, to be exact.
"Owww", she said, groaning and picking herself up, glancing around, "Mimic? Blink?...Morph?" [6]
She turned her head, then blinked at the adultified Wanda and Kurt.
"Mom? Dad?"
"Huh?", said Wanda, arching a brow.
"WHAT?!!!", screamed Amanda, giving Kurt a glare, "you have a daughter?!!! And you never told me?!!! Well, that's it, buddy, no wedding, not now, not ever!!!!"
With that, she gave him a good slap, then glared at Wanda.
"And YOU. To think I was going to let you be my maid of honour, you braizen hussy!!!".
With that, Amanda stomped off. Kurt rubbed his cheek, then started to run after her.
"Amanda, honey, come back!. I don't know vho she is, honest!!!"
"Don't you follow me, Wagner!", came Amanda's reply as she vanished into the crowd.
Kurt blinked, glanced at Wanda and the stranger, then sat down.
"...I'm confused".
**
[1] - Young at Heart, by Frank Sinatra, an appropriate song, I believe ;)
[2] - Ebony is a real comic book character, he makes many an apperance in my Sidney Chronicles.
[3] - This is based off an advert here in the U.K...Or at least I THINK I saw it on an advert o.0
[4] - Most of my fics end up at some point in a casino, I don't know why, and it scares me a little.
[5] - A bit of an understatement. In Sugar and Spice (part of another line of my stories, unrelated to this, don't panic) Wanda and Todd were banned from the State of Nevada for underage gambling, and using her powers for profit.
[6] - Noctune is the alternaltive future daughter of Wanda and Kurt in the comic book 'Exiles' The other names she mentions are other characters in that book, part of a team that travel through differing times and dimensions of the Marvel universe, righting wrongs...Kinda like Stargate crossed with Quantum Leap.
And there we go, another chapter done and dusted. Do review and send in those requests. Until next time...
By Todd Fan
Disclaimer: "Sell all my Warner Brothers stock. I have an inside tip that Bugs Bunny's about to die"
**
Haloo there, my dear sweet reviewers, you know this fic has almost 100 reviews already?...That suprised me :D
Elf - Did Amanda get affected? Bwhahahaha!!
Shaine S - Ryro? That's a new one, what's that? Well, Tabby stripping I can certainally provide, but Bobby's ahem, busy
Descendent - Storm and Mystique going at it for Forge? How could I resist!
BaronOBeefDip - Wahooo, I thought I was the only one who knew what a dik- dik was, I'm not alone!! Fuzzy obessions with antelope are always fun!
Asteria - Casino! Of course, mwhahaha....it scares me that I have an obsession with the things, I hope I never go to Vegas, I'll come home broke. Does Seren have a motive?...err...I'm working on that
Seimosuchus - I do adore Noctune, I'm sure I can fit her in somewhere, and bring enough conflict to fill a whole season of soap operas ;)
Tenshi Kanashii - It's okay chucks, no harm no foul ;) Mystique having trouble holding a shape, tee hee.
Zoken - An Ian/Jamie kareoke contest for the hand of Torpid. Too good to miss!
Pirate kit - Yup, being 4'5", I'm an armrest for everyone...pitty one of my friends is 6'5", I can only see him eye-to-eye if he gets on his knees. Forge witnessing said catfight? *Rubs hands with glee*
Draco-luver - Ahh quite a challenge, I think I have met it!
Okay, thats about as much as I can fit in, so here we go!
**
Chapter 5 - It's all relative
**
Amanda sighed as she watched her parents pace the room.
"How could this have happened?", said Margali.
"I bet that freak had something to do with this, he always does!!!", said Mr Sefton.
"Mom, Dad, I really don't think Kurt had anything to do with me turning into a thirty year old woman...honest".
Well....at least she HOPED he hadn't. But with Kurt, who could really know?
*BAMF*
Kurt suddenly teleported into the Sefton's living room, a bold act he would never normally do...but he HAD to make sure Amanda was okay.
"Arrghhhhhh!!!", screamed Margali, passing out.
"YOU!!!", said Mr Sefton, pointing a finger at Kurt, "you're older like her. You must have staged this...."
"But I didn't....", started Kurt.
Mr Sefton carried on heedlessly, his eyes going wider as realisation dawned on his face. He gasped.
"You've made both of yourselves a legal married age so you can elope!".
Kurt blinked, before grinning.
"Gee Mr Sefton, I hadn't thought about THAT!", he said.
"YEY!", said Amanda, taking hold of Kurt's arm, "to Vegas!!!!".
*BAMF*
"Wha....what happened?", said Margali, sitting up woozily, "...where's my daughter?"
Mr Sefton looked at the floor sheepishly, clearing his throat.
"That terrible Wagner boy stole her away...she's ELOPING!!!!", he cried, "to Las Vegas!!!!!"
WHUMP. Margali was once again down for the count.
**
Pietro muttered to himslef as he walked, yes, walked along the road. He was in a full- scale rant with himself, when suddenly something very large fell from the sky, landing with a THUD in front of him.
"Owww", said Warren, "damn it, not I have arthritis in my wings?. I hate this, hate it hate it, hate it!!!".
".....Angel?", said Pietro, narrowing his eyes.
Warren blinked up at Pietro, squinting.
"Mr Pop'N'Fresh?"
Pietro looked at Warren in horror.
"NO, I'm Pietro!!!!", he said, "not a pastry man, not a pastry man!!!"
Warren stumbled to his feet, chuckling and reaching out a hand.
"Let me poke you in the belly, come on, I want to hear you giggle!".
Pietro zipped off as fast as he could, leaving Warren alone.
"Wait, come back!!", called Warren, "I've forgotten where I live!!!"
He paused, sniffing the air.
"Who let one rip?!!!".
**
"Well", said Lance, grinning at Kitty from where they were parked at make- out point, "here we are, all alone..."
"Kitty!!!"
"Oh, COME ON!!!", said Lance, glaring at the sky as a now adult Dani ran up to the car.
"I've been looking for you everywhere", she said breathlessly, "have you seen my grandfather anywhere?. He...err..ran off".
Kitty blinked.
"How can your gandfather 'run' anywhere Dani?", she asked.
Dani gave a nervous laugh.
"Well...y'see..."
**
"Fairy tales can come true, it can happen to you, If you're young at heart", sang a teenaged Black Eagle as he strolled around Bayville park, "For it's hard, you will find, to be narrow of mind, If you're young at heart" [1]
He whistled the tune as he carried on along his way, pausing to pick a rose and smell it. No cane, no arthritis, no forgeting what day it was. This was the life. All he needed now was a lovely young lady to take to dinner....
He got her. Sitting on a bench was a teeange Agatha Harkness, reading a book of witchcraft, while her 'cat', Ebony [2] sat on on her lap. Black Eagle grinned, sauntering over to her and handing her the rose.
"Hello", he said with a grin, "here's a rose..you'd probably want it for that book of yours".
Agatha giggled, blushing.
"Well that's nice", she said, batting her eyelashes.
As the two 'old people' got better aquainted, Jean's SUV drove past them.
"You've lost him", said Mystique.
"I have not!", snapped Storm from behind the wheel, "and keep one form!!!"
Next to her, Mystique was shifting from form to form in the passenger seat.
"Well, if you just let me stay in my normal form, we wouldn't have a problem", said Mystique, then smirked, "but someone has a problem with competition"
Storm SLAMMED on the breaks, stopping the car.
"What. Did. You. Say?".
Mystique grinned evily.
"I can beat you hands down in my normal form, and you know it", she said, "I could turn Forge's head in a second".
"I think not!", snorted Storm.
"I sooooo think so".
"Okay, that's it!", snapped Storm, getting out the car, walking aorund to the other side and dragging Mystique out, "it's go time, missy!!!"
"Oh please, I'd break your little legs!", said Mystique.
"I grew up on the streets of Cairo", said Storm, "I can look after myself, want to put it to the test? Be my guest"
"You're going DOWN, Miss Goddess!!!", screamed Mystique, diving at Storm.
Forge had just been heading out of the nearest mini-mall (ahh sweet accepted age of purchasing alchohol) when he noticed the two women wresting right in front of him.
"Wow, I must have got me some REALLY good karma today", he said, grinning and sitting down, watching as they carried on oblivious.
**
In the Bar, things were going from bad to worse. Alex and Bobby had begun competeing, rather violently, for the love of Lorna, who didn't seen in the slightest bit interested in either of them
"Today, little Ice-Boy, you go down", said Alex, staring down his opponent.
"Not before you do, Beach-Bum", replied Bobby, "I'm ready when you are. Unless you want to back out"
"Hah, I don't want to back out, a Summers never quits", said Alex.
"You'll be laughing on the other side of your face before long"
"..What sort of a comeback is THAT?".
"Shut up, you rootin' tootin'...", started Bobby.
"You're John Wayne now?", said Alex, rolling his eyes.
"Hey, I once played John Wayne in a school play!", snapped Bobby.
".....Your school picked a John Wayne movie for a play? When was it, Kindergarten?"
"For your information, it was 'American Idols', and it was in Elementray School!", said Bobby, "One. Two. Three, GO!"
The pair suddenly began trying to eat dry bar crackers from the full plates in front of them...without water. [3]
"Go, go, go!!!", said Tabby drunkenly from where she as watching them, "eat 'dem little...crackers!"
The rules of nature being what they were, and crackers being so dry, the boys got through half their stash before their throats got VERY dry, and both ended up being spluttering, coughing messes on the table.
"No one wins!", screamed Tabby, as if someone had won, then proceeded to dance on the table, taking off her top.
"Look at her go", said Bobby from his half concious state, "...hey...where'd Lorna go?"
Alex pulled his head up from the table as far as it could go...wich was only a few inches.
"Hot Girl?", he called out hoarsely, "Hot Girl? Come back, Hot Girl!".
In another part of the bar, Piotr had been given the gleefull duty of keeping an eye on Sam. Who was currently trying to see how many prunes he could fit into his mouth.
"I hate this life of mine", said Piotr with a sad sigh, "I wish I had been staying at home".
Sam replied by falling off the bar stool. Jamie, on the toher hand, was getting sick of Torpid and Ian silently flirting with each other.
"THAT'S IT!!!", he snapped, pointing a finger at Ian, "I challenge you to a kareoke contest!!!"
Ian blinked at him for a long time.
~He's mute, you idiot~, came David's voice in Jamie's head.
"...Oh", said Jamie, sitting down and coughing, "I knew that".
~Hey, I only have a sec~, 'said' David', ~but if you help me take over again. No, not you too, Lucas. You could have Torpid all to yourself~
"I'm listening", said Jamie with a wide grin.
**
After Kurt had teleported himself and Amanda a safe distance from her home, he had tried to explain that he couldn't really teleport all the way to Las Vegas, and he had no money to get a plane. So instead, the pair decided to visit the local Casino in the next town, which had recently been put up, after a poll showing an unsually large amount of Bayvillians liked to gamble. [4]
"Wow, I can't believe we can finally get married!", said Amanda with a happy squeal, "and my parents can't stop me!!!"
"Ja, it's a dik-dik of good fortune", said Kurt with a nod.
Amanda blinked at him.
"...What's a dik-dik?".
"I have no idea", said Kurt with a shrug, "...vhere did that come from?...Maybe it's a strange side-effect of the transformation"
"Kaching!!!!"
The couple turned to see Wanda gleefully playing the slot machines in the casino, she was winning, and only using her powers a little...okay, every time. And now she looked her true age, she had no reason to be kicked out. [5] Whoo-hoo!!!
"Hi Wanda!", said Amanda, then gave her a big grin, "hey want to be a bridesmaid in a wedding in a hurry? Kurt already asked the bell-boy to be his best man".
Wanda blinked at them, contemplating this.
"Mm...I dunno....."
"You'll get a whole bag of free playing chiiiiips", said Kurt.
That sealed the deal. And so, Kurt, Amanda, Wanda and the Bell-Boy headed off towards the wedding chapel. Only to have a large, bizare shaft of light appear in front of them. With a thump, a teenage girl landed in front of them...a fuzzy blue elf girl with black hair, to be exact.
"Owww", she said, groaning and picking herself up, glancing around, "Mimic? Blink?...Morph?" [6]
She turned her head, then blinked at the adultified Wanda and Kurt.
"Mom? Dad?"
"Huh?", said Wanda, arching a brow.
"WHAT?!!!", screamed Amanda, giving Kurt a glare, "you have a daughter?!!! And you never told me?!!! Well, that's it, buddy, no wedding, not now, not ever!!!!"
With that, she gave him a good slap, then glared at Wanda.
"And YOU. To think I was going to let you be my maid of honour, you braizen hussy!!!".
With that, Amanda stomped off. Kurt rubbed his cheek, then started to run after her.
"Amanda, honey, come back!. I don't know vho she is, honest!!!"
"Don't you follow me, Wagner!", came Amanda's reply as she vanished into the crowd.
Kurt blinked, glanced at Wanda and the stranger, then sat down.
"...I'm confused".
**
[1] - Young at Heart, by Frank Sinatra, an appropriate song, I believe ;)
[2] - Ebony is a real comic book character, he makes many an apperance in my Sidney Chronicles.
[3] - This is based off an advert here in the U.K...Or at least I THINK I saw it on an advert o.0
[4] - Most of my fics end up at some point in a casino, I don't know why, and it scares me a little.
[5] - A bit of an understatement. In Sugar and Spice (part of another line of my stories, unrelated to this, don't panic) Wanda and Todd were banned from the State of Nevada for underage gambling, and using her powers for profit.
[6] - Noctune is the alternaltive future daughter of Wanda and Kurt in the comic book 'Exiles' The other names she mentions are other characters in that book, part of a team that travel through differing times and dimensions of the Marvel universe, righting wrongs...Kinda like Stargate crossed with Quantum Leap.
And there we go, another chapter done and dusted. Do review and send in those requests. Until next time...