" Do you know what it's like?" She looked onto satin linings inside of
the mahogany coffin. Something the one inside wouldn't be able to
appreciate. The mortician had done a terrible job with her father's face ..
He looked so stoic. He looked so solemn. Her father was none of the above.
He was loving, and caring, kind, and wise .. Smart, ecstatic .. with
terrible unhidden teeth. Yet here he was, in the end. Murdered. Why? The
little word rang through out her mind. It left her with a bitter heart for
life. It left her in the cold. That word had no ending. It had only
beginning.
" We all make sacrifices, in the end."
Such a cold and simple reply. Nothing from a heart. Did his man have a soul? Had he sold it to satan? Was it gone long ago? Did it leave him standing naked, in the deadly snow?
" Yes, but you? Did you?"
His voice was barely a whisper, " Narcissa .. "
He loved her? Could it be true? Yet she could not take her eyes away from the coins on top her father's eyes. Nor the fire burning all of their last letters and words ..
" What's it like, to be a father, Mr Malfoy?" She wished to know. She wished to know what he felt, and if he felt anything at all. She wouldn't have to look at him. He would only have to tell her, this time.
" It's everything." At first he had decided to say only this, and after a moments silent, added, " Love, and hatred. Never yours. You watch the child change. You see them be everything, and nothing .. Small, and then so large. Their souls, what they care for, change. Their hearts change."
She was staring at her father's suit. How plain the vest, and the tacky plasticy end .. Murdered. Why? .. Why? " My father, has once said that it was not hard. He only had to listen to his heart. He knew what to do inside of it. You know what?" Her tongue clicked in exasperation, warning him to ask.
" Yes?" He said this softly. It was warm, yet cold, as everything about him was.
" ... When I listen to my heart, do you know what I hear?" She didn't make him ask this time, " I hear it beating. It's alive, and well. All I hear is thud thud thud. It tells me nothing, but to live and survive. To keep on living. You know what?"
" No." He replied, simply yet again.
" .. My mind tells me?"
" No."
" My mind, tells me to not give a fight. It says to give into you, and let you take your wand, and utter such simple words to me yet again. To let you live forever in your own misery and discord, as you eat my sins with such simple.simple.words. It tells me to die .. That's why your here, in the end, isn't it? Is that what you want?"
He was looking in her eyes, without amusement, or stoicism, not anything put ice and something else she couldn't place. Not longing, and not love. Not sadness, or pain. Not anything she knew. Not emptiness, or the same as beneath those coins above her father's own. It was something she couldn't identify with, for once in her life.
" Is that what you want?"
She didn't answer. She didn't look at her father's body, or the man's cold icy eyes, and so she walked past him, and into the streets, trying to find an abandoned lot or something .. she wasn't sure where she wanted to die. Can anyone choose their own spot? Perhaps her bed. Yes, she had always thought she would want to die in her home, and old old married lady, with many cats, and crookshanks long gone, and no one would know except her that she slept in heaven that night until .. Oh, a few exceptions can always be made. She was not married, or in love, and crookshanks was not gone, and she had no other animals. Perhaps the cleaning lady would find her, and then perhaps not. Maybe it would be a house elf, or Ron, or even Harry on the other side. It really didn't matter.
Her feet stopped at her flat, and he was close behind, merely walking. Simple. Breathing, living, and perfectly alright in his existence. He was cold; that was the only description that fit him. Yet he had said things to her that suggested so much more. Oh, she would have had such a silly crush on him, had she been alive .. If she had cared, but now was not a time for live things. She died when her mother OWLED her, when it was all arranged, and settled, and when they had read the will .. She was so broken! She wanted it to end. Such a plastic and measly existence, to float forever in harms way. She couldn't save Harry, it was too late.
Mr Malfoy was behind her, waiting for her to find her keys. When they appear in her hands, he doesn't rush her. He doesn't place a hand on her back, or tap his foot un patiently.
" So how exactly did my father die? Was he a hero? Cowering in fear? What were his last words? Did you even do it, or did Draco, Mr Malfoy?"
As they entered past the door, they climbed the fire escape, one step at a time, and arrived at her own door way.
" It is not for me to say." He admits then; it was his son.
Snorting, on the last day of her life, she places the key ring down on the side table. Looking in a mirror, she's expecting a snarling cereal killer, and not the man she sees behind her. There's something in his eyes she doesn't understand. It reminds her of Dracula portrayed by Gary Oldman; not sad, or longing, truly mad, or angry. Simply .. cold and ..
" Im sure he put up a fight." She says, leading him past the living room and into the kitchen, " You know, he really spoiled me. Never was one much for money, since I was always such a bookworm. No time for money in the magical world. At least, not eurodollars and such." She shrugs slightly with her arms, and opens up the fridge, asking him if he would like something to drink. He shakes his head, and she pours herself a glass of cold milk. " You see, might be a mud blood, but Im not impoverished." She laughs, he doesn't. Merely sits there, same expression as lately he has taken upon himself. Tapping her short finger nails against the bar, she offers him a stool. He sits across from her in the living room. " May I at least know his last words?"
His eyes are dazed by something, but he says as if he had been paying perfect attention, " T-"
" No, I mean his last words."
" Tell her."
" Tell her what?" She implores, quirking an eyebrow.
" He loved your mother. Tell Hermione she'll always be my little girl .."
" I don't believe you." She peered at him from the bottom of her glass, bottoms up, downing the glass in one quick swig. When she finished, she elaborated, " My father always called me his big girl." Sitting up properly, she leaned over the table, with a dark look across her face, " Tell me the truth. Are you being kind to me?"
" If I was going to kill you, why would I lie? There is no point."
" Your not answering my question. Your giving me facts."
He bit his lower lip, and said after, " No."
" Your lying." She declared finally, " Your son wouldn't give my father that much time to live. It would be quick, or very painful. It was quick."
" It was both, likely." Again, he stated only facts.
She shoves her glass aside, " Why? Which spell are you going to use?"
" .. You know who sent me."
" Say his name."
" I fear him. Any one in their right mind would." He slid his fingers down on the table, streaks forming on the glass beneath his pale skin. " I'll use whatever you wish."
" The longest and painful. That's what I want, okay?"
He nodded, " Where?"
" In my bed. I always wanted to die in my sleep, but you know? I can make exceptions. Dying is dying."
A hand found its own way over her long tapping fingers, and electricity shot through each. She relaxed, and shook her head.
" Why?"
" Isn't that obvious, Mr Malfoy?"
" You have much to live for. It doesn't make sense. So willing to die?"
The hand clutched at her own, tighter.
" Yes. It's because no matter. how.hard.I try- " She fought back tears, " I can't love. I can't help them! I can't live in a magical world of nonsense .. I can't leave either. I want to grow up."
Tighter.
" I wish it to end. I don- don-don- " A moan escaped her, " I don't wish .. to .. "
Tighter.
" Die again with - wit-with someone - take-,"
Tighter.
" ing my place. This time- it's me. It's time." She finished, and hid her face behind her hands, " That is weak, Im sorry. I do wish to die. Don't think .. Im a coward. I only can't stand the .. that he's gone."
" You didn't cry." Again, a fact. She broke again, but with no tears.
" I haven't."
" I know."
Tighter ..
" I wish Harry hadn't died for me. It was so stupid .. Stupid. This whole thing is so stupid .. I wish I had never received that letter. Yet .. Harry .. lived. Because of us."
The hand was dropped from above, and he stood. She stood.
" So much to live for. You were loved, and remembered. I will remember you always, Miss Granger."
She stood as well, and he followed her into her bedroom, watched as she ungracefully fell onto her back, waiting.
" Do you have any last wishes? Things that I can do?"
She shook her head, but then her eyes grew wide and frightened, " When I go .. " Her shoulders tensioned, and she fell back again, " What should I wish for?"
" My son has done you wrong .. Such wrong. I am sorry, I wish I could have made him not do it. I wish he hadn't broke you."
She shook her head, crying now, " I don't know what to wish for .. how terrible!"
He took her by the shoulders, holding onto her, on top of her, holding her, tight as he could. " Don't make me. Please. You can run. He won't find you. Kill me, and run!"
" NO NO NO NO NO,"
" Do it! Or petrify me, and run! Everyone will believe me, when I say I didn't stand a chance! Hermione run!"
" NO NO NO NO NO!" She whimpered. He stroked her hair, and she stood in his embrace.
" Daughter, leave. Do it."
" No .. Please, no? Please?"
Taking his wand, he pointed it at himself, " Don't make me. Be good, and,"
" No! No!" She screamed. " Don't! Please? Don't!"
" Then say it. Take this, and say it."
" No, please just make things go away! I have nothing! I have no one! Don't you understand?!"
He handed her a time turner, that he had been wearing around his neck, and pleaded with her desperately, " Damn you, to haunt me forever! Do you see? A time turner! And you went away, right in my arms .." He whispered this, and she fought against his embrace now, " I have gone back six years to be with you now, do you understand? I killed the older me, and took the time turner, and do you know what he said? He said, " When God looked at her angelic face, he cried forever. Don't let her do it. Don't let HIM do it!" And so I took it, and look! Im here, Im here .. Please .. Please no .. run, please, Please .." He was sobbing in her arms now instead of her, and electricity was flowing again through her limbs, telling her to live somehow.
Taking her hands, she kissed his lips shortly, and shook her head, " Now is the time. Do it!"
" I won't. I love you, Miss Granger. Don't you dare die."
She hear a swishing sound, a click, and something grazing her neck. Before she could say another word she was falling and before she could
" We all make sacrifices, in the end."
Such a cold and simple reply. Nothing from a heart. Did his man have a soul? Had he sold it to satan? Was it gone long ago? Did it leave him standing naked, in the deadly snow?
" Yes, but you? Did you?"
His voice was barely a whisper, " Narcissa .. "
He loved her? Could it be true? Yet she could not take her eyes away from the coins on top her father's eyes. Nor the fire burning all of their last letters and words ..
" What's it like, to be a father, Mr Malfoy?" She wished to know. She wished to know what he felt, and if he felt anything at all. She wouldn't have to look at him. He would only have to tell her, this time.
" It's everything." At first he had decided to say only this, and after a moments silent, added, " Love, and hatred. Never yours. You watch the child change. You see them be everything, and nothing .. Small, and then so large. Their souls, what they care for, change. Their hearts change."
She was staring at her father's suit. How plain the vest, and the tacky plasticy end .. Murdered. Why? .. Why? " My father, has once said that it was not hard. He only had to listen to his heart. He knew what to do inside of it. You know what?" Her tongue clicked in exasperation, warning him to ask.
" Yes?" He said this softly. It was warm, yet cold, as everything about him was.
" ... When I listen to my heart, do you know what I hear?" She didn't make him ask this time, " I hear it beating. It's alive, and well. All I hear is thud thud thud. It tells me nothing, but to live and survive. To keep on living. You know what?"
" No." He replied, simply yet again.
" .. My mind tells me?"
" No."
" My mind, tells me to not give a fight. It says to give into you, and let you take your wand, and utter such simple words to me yet again. To let you live forever in your own misery and discord, as you eat my sins with such simple.simple.words. It tells me to die .. That's why your here, in the end, isn't it? Is that what you want?"
He was looking in her eyes, without amusement, or stoicism, not anything put ice and something else she couldn't place. Not longing, and not love. Not sadness, or pain. Not anything she knew. Not emptiness, or the same as beneath those coins above her father's own. It was something she couldn't identify with, for once in her life.
" Is that what you want?"
She didn't answer. She didn't look at her father's body, or the man's cold icy eyes, and so she walked past him, and into the streets, trying to find an abandoned lot or something .. she wasn't sure where she wanted to die. Can anyone choose their own spot? Perhaps her bed. Yes, she had always thought she would want to die in her home, and old old married lady, with many cats, and crookshanks long gone, and no one would know except her that she slept in heaven that night until .. Oh, a few exceptions can always be made. She was not married, or in love, and crookshanks was not gone, and she had no other animals. Perhaps the cleaning lady would find her, and then perhaps not. Maybe it would be a house elf, or Ron, or even Harry on the other side. It really didn't matter.
Her feet stopped at her flat, and he was close behind, merely walking. Simple. Breathing, living, and perfectly alright in his existence. He was cold; that was the only description that fit him. Yet he had said things to her that suggested so much more. Oh, she would have had such a silly crush on him, had she been alive .. If she had cared, but now was not a time for live things. She died when her mother OWLED her, when it was all arranged, and settled, and when they had read the will .. She was so broken! She wanted it to end. Such a plastic and measly existence, to float forever in harms way. She couldn't save Harry, it was too late.
Mr Malfoy was behind her, waiting for her to find her keys. When they appear in her hands, he doesn't rush her. He doesn't place a hand on her back, or tap his foot un patiently.
" So how exactly did my father die? Was he a hero? Cowering in fear? What were his last words? Did you even do it, or did Draco, Mr Malfoy?"
As they entered past the door, they climbed the fire escape, one step at a time, and arrived at her own door way.
" It is not for me to say." He admits then; it was his son.
Snorting, on the last day of her life, she places the key ring down on the side table. Looking in a mirror, she's expecting a snarling cereal killer, and not the man she sees behind her. There's something in his eyes she doesn't understand. It reminds her of Dracula portrayed by Gary Oldman; not sad, or longing, truly mad, or angry. Simply .. cold and ..
" Im sure he put up a fight." She says, leading him past the living room and into the kitchen, " You know, he really spoiled me. Never was one much for money, since I was always such a bookworm. No time for money in the magical world. At least, not eurodollars and such." She shrugs slightly with her arms, and opens up the fridge, asking him if he would like something to drink. He shakes his head, and she pours herself a glass of cold milk. " You see, might be a mud blood, but Im not impoverished." She laughs, he doesn't. Merely sits there, same expression as lately he has taken upon himself. Tapping her short finger nails against the bar, she offers him a stool. He sits across from her in the living room. " May I at least know his last words?"
His eyes are dazed by something, but he says as if he had been paying perfect attention, " T-"
" No, I mean his last words."
" Tell her."
" Tell her what?" She implores, quirking an eyebrow.
" He loved your mother. Tell Hermione she'll always be my little girl .."
" I don't believe you." She peered at him from the bottom of her glass, bottoms up, downing the glass in one quick swig. When she finished, she elaborated, " My father always called me his big girl." Sitting up properly, she leaned over the table, with a dark look across her face, " Tell me the truth. Are you being kind to me?"
" If I was going to kill you, why would I lie? There is no point."
" Your not answering my question. Your giving me facts."
He bit his lower lip, and said after, " No."
" Your lying." She declared finally, " Your son wouldn't give my father that much time to live. It would be quick, or very painful. It was quick."
" It was both, likely." Again, he stated only facts.
She shoves her glass aside, " Why? Which spell are you going to use?"
" .. You know who sent me."
" Say his name."
" I fear him. Any one in their right mind would." He slid his fingers down on the table, streaks forming on the glass beneath his pale skin. " I'll use whatever you wish."
" The longest and painful. That's what I want, okay?"
He nodded, " Where?"
" In my bed. I always wanted to die in my sleep, but you know? I can make exceptions. Dying is dying."
A hand found its own way over her long tapping fingers, and electricity shot through each. She relaxed, and shook her head.
" Why?"
" Isn't that obvious, Mr Malfoy?"
" You have much to live for. It doesn't make sense. So willing to die?"
The hand clutched at her own, tighter.
" Yes. It's because no matter. how.hard.I try- " She fought back tears, " I can't love. I can't help them! I can't live in a magical world of nonsense .. I can't leave either. I want to grow up."
Tighter.
" I wish it to end. I don- don-don- " A moan escaped her, " I don't wish .. to .. "
Tighter.
" Die again with - wit-with someone - take-,"
Tighter.
" ing my place. This time- it's me. It's time." She finished, and hid her face behind her hands, " That is weak, Im sorry. I do wish to die. Don't think .. Im a coward. I only can't stand the .. that he's gone."
" You didn't cry." Again, a fact. She broke again, but with no tears.
" I haven't."
" I know."
Tighter ..
" I wish Harry hadn't died for me. It was so stupid .. Stupid. This whole thing is so stupid .. I wish I had never received that letter. Yet .. Harry .. lived. Because of us."
The hand was dropped from above, and he stood. She stood.
" So much to live for. You were loved, and remembered. I will remember you always, Miss Granger."
She stood as well, and he followed her into her bedroom, watched as she ungracefully fell onto her back, waiting.
" Do you have any last wishes? Things that I can do?"
She shook her head, but then her eyes grew wide and frightened, " When I go .. " Her shoulders tensioned, and she fell back again, " What should I wish for?"
" My son has done you wrong .. Such wrong. I am sorry, I wish I could have made him not do it. I wish he hadn't broke you."
She shook her head, crying now, " I don't know what to wish for .. how terrible!"
He took her by the shoulders, holding onto her, on top of her, holding her, tight as he could. " Don't make me. Please. You can run. He won't find you. Kill me, and run!"
" NO NO NO NO NO,"
" Do it! Or petrify me, and run! Everyone will believe me, when I say I didn't stand a chance! Hermione run!"
" NO NO NO NO NO!" She whimpered. He stroked her hair, and she stood in his embrace.
" Daughter, leave. Do it."
" No .. Please, no? Please?"
Taking his wand, he pointed it at himself, " Don't make me. Be good, and,"
" No! No!" She screamed. " Don't! Please? Don't!"
" Then say it. Take this, and say it."
" No, please just make things go away! I have nothing! I have no one! Don't you understand?!"
He handed her a time turner, that he had been wearing around his neck, and pleaded with her desperately, " Damn you, to haunt me forever! Do you see? A time turner! And you went away, right in my arms .." He whispered this, and she fought against his embrace now, " I have gone back six years to be with you now, do you understand? I killed the older me, and took the time turner, and do you know what he said? He said, " When God looked at her angelic face, he cried forever. Don't let her do it. Don't let HIM do it!" And so I took it, and look! Im here, Im here .. Please .. Please no .. run, please, Please .." He was sobbing in her arms now instead of her, and electricity was flowing again through her limbs, telling her to live somehow.
Taking her hands, she kissed his lips shortly, and shook her head, " Now is the time. Do it!"
" I won't. I love you, Miss Granger. Don't you dare die."
She hear a swishing sound, a click, and something grazing her neck. Before she could say another word she was falling and before she could