When I grow up...
By Todd Fan
Disclaimer: "Look at his...their heads. He...I mean, they...is...are wearing the Ring of the Nine Dragons! This is a grammar nightmare!"
Okay my dear readers, this is the last update I can make for this story for a while. I leave to go on holiday to Orlando (oh yes, my first time the the States!, look out, American citizens, bwhahahahahahaha!) on Saturday, and won't be back until the 30th. I didn't really want to wrap this fic up with only 12 chapters, so you'll just have to be patient until my return ;)
The Uncanny R-Man - Cheerleader Emma Frost having a phsycic cat-fight with Jean? Tee hee.
Nessie6 - More Pietro? More Todd? You got it
BaronOBeefDip - Sorry, I don't watch Anime, so I have no clue who or what Inuyasha is, but that wonderfull Simpsons reference is a hoot!
Draco-luver - Warren arguing with the gutbomb, got it!, Kurt in a kitty bib. Oh, so much fun!
The crow that caws at half past 6 - What an interesting name :) One Maximoff family outing present and counted for.
Theblackking - Shaw cheating on Jean from Emma, wow, I have a lovely lovers..errr..rectangle now ;)
Risty - Welp, I did the baby thing in the two stories before this, so, as seen as I see Shortpack around Warren's age...I think ye see where I'm going. Calisto having her wicked way with Ironman? Oh yes!
Shanie S - Good luck with your kitty. Don't worry, these Marvel characters are around for a while yet. Daredevil? She-Hulk? You got 'em!
Raliena - Here's a couple of JLA characters just for you :D
Ivan Alias - Glad you like them, oh yes, the boys will get their turn soon enough in that series ;) Todd and Wanda scenes? I can NEVER say no to that! :D
Animeluvr1 - Cap. America being a buddy for Logan, okey dokey.
Jaguar - Wow, to list them all would take an entire chapter. So here's a handy guide, anyone under 20 (this includes Gambit, Colossus and Pyro) are now adults in their 30's, anyone over 30 are now teenagers, anyone in their 20's are now old people. The only exception to this rule is Forge, who, now looks his true age of around 36-37. Pietro and Rogue? You got it :D
Ellen - Many cats trying to kill Kurt? Tee hee
Seimosuchus - Old cat-lady gives Kurt a bath? Hah hah!
C-wolf - A youthfull Doc Oc? I think I can do that ;)
Chapter 12 - Rivalry's and partnerships.
In the Gut Bomb, Stuart sighed, drumming his fingers on the table. He stared as Warren stormed over, carrying his tray of food, glaring at him.
"The food doesn't look like it's picture!", snapped Warren.
"Pardon...winged seinior citizen?", asked Stuart
Warren pointed roughly at the picture above him.
"That looks suculent and delicious", he poked his food, "this is a fatty, smelly nasty reproduction and I WANT MY MONEY BACK!"
"Err..one moment sir", said Stuart, running off.
"He won't come back", said an equally old Hawkgirl next to Warren, "they never do"
Warren blinked at her, before grinning.
"I'm in LOVE!", he said, then paused, "no..wait..it's a stroke" [1]
Hawkgirl rolled her eyes.
"Not interested"
"But I have lots and lots of money!", said Warren with a grin, "and I have aligators" [2]
Hawkgirl arched an eyebrow, before shaking her head.
"I'm leaving now", she said, wandering towards the door, only to be stopped by a member of the Gut Bomb staff.
"You haven't paid for your food", he said, "you can't leave yet!"
"I go where I wanna go!", snapped Hawkgirl, pulling out her mace, "hheeeyyah!"
With that, she slammed the staff member out of the way, strolling out of the Gut Bomb like nothing had happened.
"What a woman", sighed Warren.
"There's a pretty little Boris. Don't you look handsome?!"
Kurt groaned as the old lady plucked him out of a bath tub and put a kitty bow on his head.
"There, you stay there like a good kitty and I'll bring you some chow"
As she wandered off, Kurt growled, shaking the water out of his fur and pulling the kitty bonnet off his head.
"I have to get out of here", he muttered, then paused, hearing a hissing sound...lots of hissing sounds.
He blinked, turning to see many, many cats staring at him, growling, hissing and spitting.
"Eeep", he said, "nice kitties, good kitties"
He gave a nervous laugh, before diving for the phone, trying to dial 911, with great difficulty. He put his phone to his ear as he heard a voice.
"The fingers you have used are too fat. Please mash the keypad with your palm now", came the operators voice.
"NEIN!", he screamed, as the cats closed in, "help me, the kitties, they are coming! Help me!!!!"
Meanwhile, down in the Morlock tunnels, Torpid had found a new 'friend'. After escaping from Ian and Jamie, she'd discovered a tiny little man, a tiny little man aged into his 80's. Fascinated by this, she'd taken him down into the tunnels and put him into a shoe box, watching him as one would a small animal.
"Let me out you young girl with freakishly big hands!", squeaked Shortpack, running around, looking for an escape.
He blinked as Torpid deposited a hamster wheel in his box
"Oh, you have got to be kidding me", he muttered, then blinked as screaming echoed thoughout the complex, "I'm going to die here..aren't I?"
In another part of the tunnels, Calisto had strapped Ironman to a chair.
"Please let me go", he whimpered, "I've changed my mind, outside's fine, outside's FINE!!!"
"Oh, hush!", said Calisto, ticking a finger under his chin, "I haven't had a man-toy for a while, you can be my new one"
"Oh...goodie", grimaced Tony, trying to struggle away.
In downtown Bayville, a teenage Daredevil was trying to bring down a teen She-Hulk.
"Just come quietly, Miss Hulk and no harm will come to you", said Daredevil.
"Oh, come on!", shouted She-Hulk, "I was only downloading things from Kazza, seesh! Everybody does it!"
"Not the good citizens who respect copyright laws!", shot back Daredevil, "they're almost as bad as those damn fanfiction writers! Stealing things that don't belong to them and twisting them into their own physcotic visions!"
She-Hulk blinked.
"Geez, Matt, you really need to get a girlfriend", she said, before blinking as a teen Juggernaught shoved Daredevil away.
"Is this creep botherin' you?", he asked with a smile, "you want me to flatten him?"
"I can flatten him myself!", snapped She-Hulk, before grinning, grabbing Cain by the arm, "but you can buy me a soda"
"Allrighty then", grinned Juggernaught, walking off with her, leaving Matt sitting in the road.
"I'll get you She-Hulk, I'll....She-Hulk?", he paused, "you there? Aww come on, being quiet is CHEATING!"
Pietro, meanwhile, was still flirting with Rogue.
"And it was then I discovered, that I couldn't perfect perfection".
Rogue groaned, shaking her head, this was soon losing it's quality. Suddenly, there was a gust of wind, and an adultified Flash was posing in front of them.
"Well, heloooooo there pretty lady, he said with a grin, "and what might your name be?"
"Hey, she's mine!", snapped Pietro, zipping up to him, "I got to her first"
"Yes, but I'm much cuter", said Flash, "and chicks dig the secret identity"
"So, I'm the traumatised son of a supervillian", said Pietro, crossing his arms, "what have you got?"
"A tight-fitting uniform", said Flash with a smirk.
"Well, so do I!!!", snapped Pietro, zipping off, appearing a few seconds later in his uniform, which was VERY tight in his new body, "SEE?!!"
"Oh dear lord, there's two of them", said Rogue, rolling her eyes, walking off as they argued. [3]
"Yes, I know, youngsters can be so...unruly. My Nicholas given me THAT many grandchildren, it hurts my head, and they are so disrespectfull" [4]
"I know", said Black Eagle, patting Agatha on the back, "just once, I'd like Danielle to listen to me. She's getting idea's from the Maker, I know she is! Wanting to live outside of the tribe, ignoring her heritage, hah!" [5]
"Well, hello there"
The both now young elderies turned to see a teen Doc Oc smiling at them...or more precisely, smiling at Agatha. He chuckled, one of his tenticles tickling her chin, making her giggle.
"Hi there, sweet thing, want me to take you out to a movie?", said Doc Oc with a grin. "Hey, I saw her first!", snapped Black Eagle.
"Take a hike!"
"Drop dead!"
"Boys", said Agatha, clearing her throat and standing, "you can BOTH take me to a movie"
Both blinked at her before shrugging, each taking one of her arms as they walked off.
Meanwhile, Logan had managed to escape Jean, only to have Sabertooth trailing after him, teasing him for having a teenager crushing over him.
"Logan?"
Logan stopped, blinking as a teen Steve Rodgers walked up.
"Steve!", he said, "I haven't seen you since..well..the last...unpleastantness, how have ya been?" [6]
"I went to see the world!", grinned Steve, "it's pretty big..and nice when you're not being shot at all the time"
"And who's THIS?", said Sabertooth, crossing his arms.
"No one fer you to bother with", said Logan, walking off with Steve, "lets go drinking, 'ol buddy, 'ol pal"
"We can't in these bodies", said Steve with a sigh.
"Don't worry", said Logan, tapping his nose, "I got some at home"
"Awww...can't I come?", whimpered Sabertooth, hanging his head as they walked off, "I'm so very lonely"
Magneto sighed sadly, as he plodded along, Noctune chattering away at him about her world, and how different it was. It was Noctune's idea to have a picnic, one for the whole family. Havign tried to get Pietro to join, they were unsucessfull, as he was still fighting with Flash, so Todd had volunteered to go in his place.
"So..you have a kid with the Elf?"
Wanda sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.
"No, Toad", she said, for probrably the hundreth time that day, "it's a different me and Kurt"
"So...you don't want to get it on with him?", asked Todd.
"NO!", snapped Wanda, "I want to sleep with Kurt as much as I do YOU!"
Todd blinked, confused.
"Does that mean ya want a threesome?...'cause I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that, Cuddlebumps"
"ARRRGGGHHHH!", screamed Wanda, throwing a hex-bolt at him.
"Go mom!", cheered Noctune.
Xavier, meanwhile, had gone to disrupt a fight...a rather unusual fight. He'd caught it on the phsycic wavelength and decided to check it out. What he'd found was weirder than usual. Jean and an adultified White Queen were locked in a deadly phsycic battle, while Scott and a adultified Sebastian Shaw were rolling around on the gorund, pummeling each other.
"STOP THIS NOW!!", roared Xavier...he'd had a long, hard day.
Everyone stopped in mid punch, kick, or phsycic bitch-slap, looking at him in shock.
"What happened here?", groaned Xavier.
"SHE tried to steal Scott from me", hissed Jean, pointing at Emma.
"Only because SHE tried to steal Sebastian!", retorted Emma.
"Oooookay", said Xavier, turning to the boys.
"He hit on my girlfriend", they said in unison, pointing at one another.
"Oh, that's IT", snapped Xavier, "I've had enough of you stupid teenagers and you're damn teen issues. I quit, you hear me? QUIT!!"
With that, he wheeled off, laughing manically.
"That's....not a good thing", said Scott.
[1] - Gotta love Grampa Simpson ;)
[2] - An in-joke to my 'pick on a group' series, you'd need to read Teacher Training to know of it's significance.
[3] - Ahh yes, the age-old Quicksilver Vs Flash. Which do I think is better?...well, to be perfectly honest, they're so alike, I can't chose.
[4] - The the comics, Agatha had a son called Nicholas Scratch, who had seven children, all by different mothers. Things got complicated, and after much weirdness, Agatha's grandchildren burned their own grandmother at the stake....lovely.
[5] - 'The Maker' is another name that was used for Forge, kinda his tribal name. I believe his full title was something like: 'The Maker Of All Things, Of Spirit And Of Substance'....yeah, you can kinda see why he prefers Forge.
[6] - Steve, or Captain America, reappeared quite randomly in the Baby Blues stories, cured from the effects of Operation: Rebirth....which is why he isn't frozen.
Well, that's it until I come back, do keep those reviews coming in though ;) Now all I have to think about is how I get all those big X-Men metal cutouts from the Marvel Superhero island through customs...mmmm. Until next time..
By Todd Fan
Disclaimer: "Look at his...their heads. He...I mean, they...is...are wearing the Ring of the Nine Dragons! This is a grammar nightmare!"
Okay my dear readers, this is the last update I can make for this story for a while. I leave to go on holiday to Orlando (oh yes, my first time the the States!, look out, American citizens, bwhahahahahahaha!) on Saturday, and won't be back until the 30th. I didn't really want to wrap this fic up with only 12 chapters, so you'll just have to be patient until my return ;)
The Uncanny R-Man - Cheerleader Emma Frost having a phsycic cat-fight with Jean? Tee hee.
Nessie6 - More Pietro? More Todd? You got it
BaronOBeefDip - Sorry, I don't watch Anime, so I have no clue who or what Inuyasha is, but that wonderfull Simpsons reference is a hoot!
Draco-luver - Warren arguing with the gutbomb, got it!, Kurt in a kitty bib. Oh, so much fun!
The crow that caws at half past 6 - What an interesting name :) One Maximoff family outing present and counted for.
Theblackking - Shaw cheating on Jean from Emma, wow, I have a lovely lovers..errr..rectangle now ;)
Risty - Welp, I did the baby thing in the two stories before this, so, as seen as I see Shortpack around Warren's age...I think ye see where I'm going. Calisto having her wicked way with Ironman? Oh yes!
Shanie S - Good luck with your kitty. Don't worry, these Marvel characters are around for a while yet. Daredevil? She-Hulk? You got 'em!
Raliena - Here's a couple of JLA characters just for you :D
Ivan Alias - Glad you like them, oh yes, the boys will get their turn soon enough in that series ;) Todd and Wanda scenes? I can NEVER say no to that! :D
Animeluvr1 - Cap. America being a buddy for Logan, okey dokey.
Jaguar - Wow, to list them all would take an entire chapter. So here's a handy guide, anyone under 20 (this includes Gambit, Colossus and Pyro) are now adults in their 30's, anyone over 30 are now teenagers, anyone in their 20's are now old people. The only exception to this rule is Forge, who, now looks his true age of around 36-37. Pietro and Rogue? You got it :D
Ellen - Many cats trying to kill Kurt? Tee hee
Seimosuchus - Old cat-lady gives Kurt a bath? Hah hah!
C-wolf - A youthfull Doc Oc? I think I can do that ;)
Chapter 12 - Rivalry's and partnerships.
In the Gut Bomb, Stuart sighed, drumming his fingers on the table. He stared as Warren stormed over, carrying his tray of food, glaring at him.
"The food doesn't look like it's picture!", snapped Warren.
"Pardon...winged seinior citizen?", asked Stuart
Warren pointed roughly at the picture above him.
"That looks suculent and delicious", he poked his food, "this is a fatty, smelly nasty reproduction and I WANT MY MONEY BACK!"
"Err..one moment sir", said Stuart, running off.
"He won't come back", said an equally old Hawkgirl next to Warren, "they never do"
Warren blinked at her, before grinning.
"I'm in LOVE!", he said, then paused, "no..wait..it's a stroke" [1]
Hawkgirl rolled her eyes.
"Not interested"
"But I have lots and lots of money!", said Warren with a grin, "and I have aligators" [2]
Hawkgirl arched an eyebrow, before shaking her head.
"I'm leaving now", she said, wandering towards the door, only to be stopped by a member of the Gut Bomb staff.
"You haven't paid for your food", he said, "you can't leave yet!"
"I go where I wanna go!", snapped Hawkgirl, pulling out her mace, "hheeeyyah!"
With that, she slammed the staff member out of the way, strolling out of the Gut Bomb like nothing had happened.
"What a woman", sighed Warren.
"There's a pretty little Boris. Don't you look handsome?!"
Kurt groaned as the old lady plucked him out of a bath tub and put a kitty bow on his head.
"There, you stay there like a good kitty and I'll bring you some chow"
As she wandered off, Kurt growled, shaking the water out of his fur and pulling the kitty bonnet off his head.
"I have to get out of here", he muttered, then paused, hearing a hissing sound...lots of hissing sounds.
He blinked, turning to see many, many cats staring at him, growling, hissing and spitting.
"Eeep", he said, "nice kitties, good kitties"
He gave a nervous laugh, before diving for the phone, trying to dial 911, with great difficulty. He put his phone to his ear as he heard a voice.
"The fingers you have used are too fat. Please mash the keypad with your palm now", came the operators voice.
"NEIN!", he screamed, as the cats closed in, "help me, the kitties, they are coming! Help me!!!!"
Meanwhile, down in the Morlock tunnels, Torpid had found a new 'friend'. After escaping from Ian and Jamie, she'd discovered a tiny little man, a tiny little man aged into his 80's. Fascinated by this, she'd taken him down into the tunnels and put him into a shoe box, watching him as one would a small animal.
"Let me out you young girl with freakishly big hands!", squeaked Shortpack, running around, looking for an escape.
He blinked as Torpid deposited a hamster wheel in his box
"Oh, you have got to be kidding me", he muttered, then blinked as screaming echoed thoughout the complex, "I'm going to die here..aren't I?"
In another part of the tunnels, Calisto had strapped Ironman to a chair.
"Please let me go", he whimpered, "I've changed my mind, outside's fine, outside's FINE!!!"
"Oh, hush!", said Calisto, ticking a finger under his chin, "I haven't had a man-toy for a while, you can be my new one"
"Oh...goodie", grimaced Tony, trying to struggle away.
In downtown Bayville, a teenage Daredevil was trying to bring down a teen She-Hulk.
"Just come quietly, Miss Hulk and no harm will come to you", said Daredevil.
"Oh, come on!", shouted She-Hulk, "I was only downloading things from Kazza, seesh! Everybody does it!"
"Not the good citizens who respect copyright laws!", shot back Daredevil, "they're almost as bad as those damn fanfiction writers! Stealing things that don't belong to them and twisting them into their own physcotic visions!"
She-Hulk blinked.
"Geez, Matt, you really need to get a girlfriend", she said, before blinking as a teen Juggernaught shoved Daredevil away.
"Is this creep botherin' you?", he asked with a smile, "you want me to flatten him?"
"I can flatten him myself!", snapped She-Hulk, before grinning, grabbing Cain by the arm, "but you can buy me a soda"
"Allrighty then", grinned Juggernaught, walking off with her, leaving Matt sitting in the road.
"I'll get you She-Hulk, I'll....She-Hulk?", he paused, "you there? Aww come on, being quiet is CHEATING!"
Pietro, meanwhile, was still flirting with Rogue.
"And it was then I discovered, that I couldn't perfect perfection".
Rogue groaned, shaking her head, this was soon losing it's quality. Suddenly, there was a gust of wind, and an adultified Flash was posing in front of them.
"Well, heloooooo there pretty lady, he said with a grin, "and what might your name be?"
"Hey, she's mine!", snapped Pietro, zipping up to him, "I got to her first"
"Yes, but I'm much cuter", said Flash, "and chicks dig the secret identity"
"So, I'm the traumatised son of a supervillian", said Pietro, crossing his arms, "what have you got?"
"A tight-fitting uniform", said Flash with a smirk.
"Well, so do I!!!", snapped Pietro, zipping off, appearing a few seconds later in his uniform, which was VERY tight in his new body, "SEE?!!"
"Oh dear lord, there's two of them", said Rogue, rolling her eyes, walking off as they argued. [3]
"Yes, I know, youngsters can be so...unruly. My Nicholas given me THAT many grandchildren, it hurts my head, and they are so disrespectfull" [4]
"I know", said Black Eagle, patting Agatha on the back, "just once, I'd like Danielle to listen to me. She's getting idea's from the Maker, I know she is! Wanting to live outside of the tribe, ignoring her heritage, hah!" [5]
"Well, hello there"
The both now young elderies turned to see a teen Doc Oc smiling at them...or more precisely, smiling at Agatha. He chuckled, one of his tenticles tickling her chin, making her giggle.
"Hi there, sweet thing, want me to take you out to a movie?", said Doc Oc with a grin. "Hey, I saw her first!", snapped Black Eagle.
"Take a hike!"
"Drop dead!"
"Boys", said Agatha, clearing her throat and standing, "you can BOTH take me to a movie"
Both blinked at her before shrugging, each taking one of her arms as they walked off.
Meanwhile, Logan had managed to escape Jean, only to have Sabertooth trailing after him, teasing him for having a teenager crushing over him.
"Logan?"
Logan stopped, blinking as a teen Steve Rodgers walked up.
"Steve!", he said, "I haven't seen you since..well..the last...unpleastantness, how have ya been?" [6]
"I went to see the world!", grinned Steve, "it's pretty big..and nice when you're not being shot at all the time"
"And who's THIS?", said Sabertooth, crossing his arms.
"No one fer you to bother with", said Logan, walking off with Steve, "lets go drinking, 'ol buddy, 'ol pal"
"We can't in these bodies", said Steve with a sigh.
"Don't worry", said Logan, tapping his nose, "I got some at home"
"Awww...can't I come?", whimpered Sabertooth, hanging his head as they walked off, "I'm so very lonely"
Magneto sighed sadly, as he plodded along, Noctune chattering away at him about her world, and how different it was. It was Noctune's idea to have a picnic, one for the whole family. Havign tried to get Pietro to join, they were unsucessfull, as he was still fighting with Flash, so Todd had volunteered to go in his place.
"So..you have a kid with the Elf?"
Wanda sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.
"No, Toad", she said, for probrably the hundreth time that day, "it's a different me and Kurt"
"So...you don't want to get it on with him?", asked Todd.
"NO!", snapped Wanda, "I want to sleep with Kurt as much as I do YOU!"
Todd blinked, confused.
"Does that mean ya want a threesome?...'cause I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that, Cuddlebumps"
"ARRRGGGHHHH!", screamed Wanda, throwing a hex-bolt at him.
"Go mom!", cheered Noctune.
Xavier, meanwhile, had gone to disrupt a fight...a rather unusual fight. He'd caught it on the phsycic wavelength and decided to check it out. What he'd found was weirder than usual. Jean and an adultified White Queen were locked in a deadly phsycic battle, while Scott and a adultified Sebastian Shaw were rolling around on the gorund, pummeling each other.
"STOP THIS NOW!!", roared Xavier...he'd had a long, hard day.
Everyone stopped in mid punch, kick, or phsycic bitch-slap, looking at him in shock.
"What happened here?", groaned Xavier.
"SHE tried to steal Scott from me", hissed Jean, pointing at Emma.
"Only because SHE tried to steal Sebastian!", retorted Emma.
"Oooookay", said Xavier, turning to the boys.
"He hit on my girlfriend", they said in unison, pointing at one another.
"Oh, that's IT", snapped Xavier, "I've had enough of you stupid teenagers and you're damn teen issues. I quit, you hear me? QUIT!!"
With that, he wheeled off, laughing manically.
"That's....not a good thing", said Scott.
[1] - Gotta love Grampa Simpson ;)
[2] - An in-joke to my 'pick on a group' series, you'd need to read Teacher Training to know of it's significance.
[3] - Ahh yes, the age-old Quicksilver Vs Flash. Which do I think is better?...well, to be perfectly honest, they're so alike, I can't chose.
[4] - The the comics, Agatha had a son called Nicholas Scratch, who had seven children, all by different mothers. Things got complicated, and after much weirdness, Agatha's grandchildren burned their own grandmother at the stake....lovely.
[5] - 'The Maker' is another name that was used for Forge, kinda his tribal name. I believe his full title was something like: 'The Maker Of All Things, Of Spirit And Of Substance'....yeah, you can kinda see why he prefers Forge.
[6] - Steve, or Captain America, reappeared quite randomly in the Baby Blues stories, cured from the effects of Operation: Rebirth....which is why he isn't frozen.
Well, that's it until I come back, do keep those reviews coming in though ;) Now all I have to think about is how I get all those big X-Men metal cutouts from the Marvel Superhero island through customs...mmmm. Until next time..