disclaimer- I own nothing etc.

I lean back in my chair watching the match intensely I told myself I want going to watch it, but it was s title shot and she needs this more than anything, Christian's out, Tomko is her savior who isn't ready for this company. Her savior, it wasn't that long ago when I saved her back in October.

I can still see the look of shock in her face. I remember the night when me and Christian were talking in the locker room I heard her whimper. My heart fell into pieces, but I couldn't let Christian see that, I wouldn't. AND after what LIta told me what happened that night, I couldn't even look at myself let alone her. Knowing I broke her heart like that. And of course we started this whole lets be friends things.

I couldn't even shake her hand without feeling a connection I don't know how she didn't feel it. And sure she screwed me over at the biggest event of the year wrestlemania , stabbing me in the back leaving me for Christian. Which hurt me, but I couldn't let that phase me. Know she's where she started in this business just playing the "slut" And I know the fans, and she even knows that she is much better than that. Wining the title would show she still is the ass kicking babe that she is.

I shake my head watching her run out of the ring like a coward. She look terrible tonight. Her ring attire looks like something she borrowed form a stripper and her makeup its so think. Rumors are flying around that Christian takes the whole rough thing to another level. And it's not like I cant do anything about it, she wont even look at me anymore. Her friendship with Amy has ended. Those too were like sisters you always found them together and they would never get into a fight. Both of them starting in this company around the same time and know its like they have never met.

I keep myself from jumping out of my chair to go down to help her as I watch Tomko get thrown from ringside, but I cant. I watch as lita hits the twiste of faith on Gail. I started to count with the crowd as the ref gets down to count. Before I could spit out one out of nowhere Tirsh comes into the ring putting Lita in a roll up. " I , 2, 3" and the bell rings as Trish's music hits. I watch the reactions of the crowd, Lita and most of all Victoria. She didn't even get pinned and she lost her title just like that. But I cant help but smile as I see her walk up the ramp with the belt held high even with the crowd booing and some faint slut chants.

I can see the look in her eye, she's so happy that she's one, but there's no one there to celebrate with her. I can see her picturing if Lita one and how Matt would run down to the ring and embrace her with joy giving her a kiss as the crowd cheers. But for her nothing, or none the only reaction is that the fans are pissed because Lita, their pick of the night lost. Sure Lita's' only had the title once, and deserves it, but Trish works hard to be where she's at. She is barley ever free, never home just always constantly going placing for this company and for what to be called a slut.

The camera cuts off and goes to the next match being previewed. I cant just sit here, I need to go congratulate her on her wining the title for the 5th time. The only Diva to do that. That's another thing that theses fans don't realize is that they have just witnessed history and they don't respect it one bit. Like when I became the undisputed Champion, they hated me and didn't realize how much that met to me. I grab a water bottle and towel from my bag and a letter I wrote for her a while back. I run to the diva's locker room and place the items near her things then run back to the gorilla position.

I didn't see Tomko or anyone else so I just stood there waiting for her to come out. I see her walking through the curtain admiring the belt. I wasn't sure what to say, but I had to say something quick so she wouldn't just walk past me like she's done the past couple months "how's it feel." I shake my head with stupidity know how it feels and I known she's felt the same way the other four times she's won the belt. She shakes her head at me just ignoring the fact that I even exist. I run up to catch her." Trish, look I don't want to ruin your night, and I don't want to fight, but what just happened out there, I couldn't help myself from coming and talking to you".

"Ph why the hell do you care, just go back to your locker room and keep to yourself" she turned her back to me. I sigh in frustration "Trish you never really got to listen to my side of the story you just left me, and I've put that behind me, because you mean more than that to me, but i guess I'm just one of those lousy guys, right Trish, those guys you don't even look at, well i wont keep you any longer, congratulations on the 5x" and with that i walked back to my locker room with my head down and my heart still broken. And all I can think is that I just wanted to hear her voice and tell her congratulations.

Trish pov.

Don't turn around, don't turn around I keep telling myself as I hear Chris's feet walking away. I take a deep breathe and exhale as I open the door. I cant even believe he had the audacity to talk to me who does he think he is. I mean God, what was that, I just wanted to tell you congratulations he lying though his teeth and I'm the only one that can see it. Or maybe he's not. I shake my head at my last though. " Nah" and with that I look at the belt and smile. I would never imagine me holding this again for the 5th time the only diva who has ever done that. And yet why do I feel so guilty. Maybe its the fact that I screwed everyone over from Chris, to Lita hell even Jeff wont talk to me. Stacy understands me, but doesn't agree with what I did. I cant stand this anymore. I throw my belt across the locker room and wince as it hits the wall.

I scrunch y nose looking at my bag. There sat a water bottle and a towel and what looked to be a folded letter in shape of a triangle like the ones everyone made in high school. I twist open the bottle water and fondle the cap in my hands. I pick up the note and open it. right away I close m eyes, not wanting to keep reading it. I recognize his hand writing from before back when we were still together and he gave me a birthday card. I don't know hat made me keep reading it but I just had to.

Trish- I know you hate me and never want to see me again, but I cant live like that, I need to see, I need to hear your voice, I need to see your smile. I even called your cell phone to her your voice that's how bad I have it for you. And I know you heard about the bet, but I was ready to give up the bet and let Christian win, when I saved you in the ring and saw the look in your eyes and when I helped you up to make sure you were okay, I just new I couldn't let you slip. But that's what I did, I let you slip, just like sand falling through the cracks of your hands.

And all those hockey games we attended together, I wont be able to watch it the same again. You make my see everything so differently and that amazes me. And I know you have to remember the night you were freezing I lent you my leather jacket. And when I wrapped it around you, you shot me back the most Beautiful smile I have ever scene. It wasn't a smile, not a smirk it was just a look that I hold so close to my heart.

Same as all the other little moments. Like when you wake up and your hair is like a huge rats nest and you think I never see you because you head straight to the bathroom, but I was always awake. And when you eat your pizza you always eat the mushroom's off first then the cheese. Or when you sneak Oreos into your meals and just throw the cookie away after the frosting is gone. And how you wrap your hair around your finger when your nervous or worried. And how you always bite or suck the left side of your mouth which caused a little scar that no one barley sees but I see it.

and the way you laugh when not a lot of people are around or when your eating a hamburger and fries you always put to much ketchup on making it dribble down your cheek. There's so much more that I see, but I wont even waste the ink because you probably didn't even read this far and if you did I just want you to know that I will and I always have loved you ever since that cold October night.

We may never speak to each other again, but maybe somewhere ill at least see you. I'm leaving this company, there's nothing to fight for anymore, I've held the belt but I would rather give it all up just to hold you one more time. You are the only thing in this world I would fight for and if I died trying at least I tried.
- love always-Chris
and if people start wondering where I am tell them" I went to see about a girl".

The paper is drenched with tears. He got to me, you hit home. Know one has ever gotten to me like that to the point they loved me so much that it hurt. I never wanted to hurt him, but Christian and Tomko told me that the bet was his idea and that Chris just wanted to see me heartbroken. But really Christian just wanted to see Chris Heartbroken so he could get a chance at the title. He was never in it for me, he was just in it for the gold. And he used the line from our favorite movie " Good will hunting". He gave it to me for my birthday because he knew I loved Matt Demon and I remember me yelling at him because he didn't get me Vin Diesel. But that night he proved to me that I don't need Matt or Vin he was all the man I could ever ask for, but I let him go.

A whimper escapes my lips. " are ... are you okay" I hear Amy's faint voice ask. I don't even dare look up. I don't want her to see me looking like a total mess. " Trish ...". I shake my head and look up at her dead in the eye and see her move her head back in total shock. " What Lita is this what you wanted to see me, at my very weakest, that is what that man does to me he makes me so weak at the knee's I can barley stand let alone walk, and what did I do to him I let him go, I let him go" I shout at Lita as I calm my voice down at look back at the letter. " I let him go". Lita was silent I know she didn't know what to say, hell I don't even know what to say.

"How long have you felt this way about him" Lita asks fixing my hair . " since the day he knew" I shake my head as more tears start to fall. " Oh Trish" Lita lends me her shoulder as I cry my heart out. " Lita he really loved me" my shoulders shake as I stare at the note. " and I just let him slip". I stand up and grab my stuff and the note and run out of the locker room.

I run ignoring the fact that I'm crying and ignoring the fact that everyone is talking about me. I don't even knock I just barge in. "Chris" my voice cracks. I haven't spoken his name in such a long time. " Honey he just left" Edge said licking his lips standing behind me. I turn around and face him. " Sweetie" he breaths. " Where, where did he go" I ask pounding on his chest. Edge grabs my hands from pounding on his chest "He just packed his stuff and left, no goodbyes no nothing he just had that look in his eyes like he lost something". I run past Edge and run right for the parking lot. " Trish, it's to late" Edge scream down the hall way, but I just ignore the fact the he just said it was to late because nothings never to late. My love for him will always be there never be late never be early it will just be there loving him more than anything I could ever love anything else in the world.

I run through the door, looking for his car. I didn't see it. " Chris" I cry.
my knees grew weak and just couldn't stand anymore. I was on my knee's crying into the letter with my mascara mixing and running with the ink . " I let him go".

"Christian's still in the back" A musky voice sighs. I turn around and see a male figure leaning against the wall. I shake my head at the familiar voice, but it couldn't be. I stand up and walk closer to the man leaning against the wall. " Chris" his name escapes my mouth.

He walks closer and puts hands on my cheeks and leans down so our foreheads are touching. His blue eyes stare back at me like a ghost haunting me. there something you could never figure out like the a rubics cube unless you cheated. They were so full of passion, anger, love, lust, danger, risk, but yet I couldn't look away.

"I read your note" I breathe as I feel his breathe on my lips.
" It was all true, from start to finish, I could have written more but I lost it while I was writing it, I couldn't even hold the pen just reliving the moments we shared together" his voice soothes my ears.

"I love you" I say looking up locking eyes with him.
" I love you" He says leaning in for a kiss. His lips are so soft, I melt at their touch and the way he rolls his tongue just makes me smile. Our lips break apart as he grabs a hole of my hand. " Congratulations" he smiles." Thank you" . we walk towards his car as we see a shooting star. " Make a wish" I tell him throwing my bags into the trunk, " no need to wish I've already got you". he says kissing me again.

Kind of cheesy ending well at least I think so. Well tell me what you think. maybe its not just a one time fic who knows its up to you guys.

-mm/-crystal