When I grow up...
By Todd Fan
Disclaimer: "That's not a bottle of booze! It's his magic bottle that makes his problems go away.......nevermind"
---
Hi all, the next chapter will be the last. Methinks the randomness has hurt Todd Fan's poor little brain. But not to fear, it won't be the last in the story line...you wait until the next story in this arc, bwhahahahahahahahaha!
---
Rurouni Tyriel - Ahh thanks for the info. I'm afraid after the Justice League, the cartoon version at that, my hero knowledge kinda...dies. The only DC comic I bother with is 'Fables'. But I'll try to throw in Superman ;)
Red Witch - After the Jurassic Park 'river ride' in Universal, I lost the nerve to go on anything that went slightly fast...yes, I'm a coaster coward ;). I did go on the Ellen ride though, Bill Nigh, the Science Guy!.
Asteria - Batman is here because he was requested. Not to worry, U.S didn't scare me that much....except for that one couple whom, when I said I was from Wales, responded with 'Wow, we didn't think you people really existed!'. 0.o
Draco-luver - Ahh, I too have seen PoA sniffs what did they do to my favorite HP book? They ripped it into pieces and danced on the remains. DANCED! Cries manically...ahem.
The crow that caws at half pass six - Well, I don't know my DC's very well, but I'll give it a shot ;). Bishop coming after Forge? Oh the fun I can have!!
BaronOBeefDip - One Todd quote and great meow all done and ready!
C-wolf - A skinny teen kingpin is all yours :D
Andivari - It wasn't me it was...err...my brother! Yeah, pre-pre-teen hormones and all that!. Okay...I might have done a bit of it. Beast on a Not-A-Date, Shazam!
UniversalAnimeGirl - Random insanity is what I excel at, M'dear ;) Yes, I have that many cameo's, I can remember who's where...it's scary 0.0
L1701E - Ahhh thanks for the info, don't feel insulted if I don't include your OC, stuff, bar about counts on fingers three exceptions, I have a personal rule about not using others OC's ;)
Chaotic Boredom - Thanking you. Yes, my dad is a never-ending source of entertainment, betting within the family what he will do next, scary thing is...he's very serious about his 'projects'. They left Noctune behind? 0.o. Must get that issue. One Lilandra for you, but I haven't the foggyest who Deathbird is. ;)
-----
Chapter 14 - Hello Mudda, Hello Fadda
-----
"So", said Mystique, where she was sitting with most of the aged-changed people....and their various jolted- from- time offspring, "are we all decided we find Charles and get a way to get us all back to normal"
The crowd nodded.
"I don't", said Forge.
"You don't count!", snapped Hank, smacking him over the head, then paled, "oh no, I was supposed to be in a conference! I MISSED IT!"
"Big deal", said Warren, waving a wing, then paused, "is this where I live?"
"No, Warren, this is NOT where you live", groaned Storm, pinching the bridge of her nose, before smiling at Hank, "I know why you wanted to go, you had a date with Shannon, didn't you?"
"No I did not!", snapped Hank, blushing, "it's Not-A-Date!"
"You do sooooooo!", laughed Storm.
"Does so too what?", asked Rogue, squeaking as Magnus lauched himself at her.
"MOTHER!", he said.
Rogue blinked.
"Hownow and whatnow?"
Kitty winced, before leaning in to whisper into her ear. Rogue looked positively ill, making a run for the mansion.
"Unclean, unclean, unclean!", she screamed.
"Oh, gee...thanks", said Magneto dryly.
ZZZZZZAAAAAAAPPPPPPP
Suddenly, Bishop appeared out of a porthole, holding a rather large gun. As soon as he caught sight of Forge, he aimed his gun at him.
"Ah HAH!", said Bishop, "I have caught you, you pond-scum-of-the-universe!"
Forge blinked slowly.
"Do I owe you money?", he tried, "'cause I put a cheque in the post, honest. You people call my people, we'll get it all sorted out"
Bishop narrowed his eyes.
"Don't try to weasel your way out or this one, I know you're evil, Forge. Evil as...err...a very evil thing!"
"Old buddy of yours?", quipped Logan.
"Oh yeah, lots of my buddies point guns at my heads", said Forge dryly, them smiled at Bishop, "you got the wrong guy, honest"
Bishop blinked, pulling out a sheet of paper from his pocket.
"I have someone fitting your description and powers", he said, "you have to be arrested for attempting to destroy the Earth". [1]
The crowd were silent for a moment, before bursting into hysterical laughter.
"HEY!", snapped Forge, "I could if I wanted too"
Bishop cocked his gun.
"Not that I would!", added Forge quickly, he smiled, "y'see, it can't be me, 'cause I don't normally look like this. I normally look seventeen"
Bishop arched a brow.
"You do not look seventeen now"
Forge coughed.
"No...", he said, then sighed, "get stuck in a teen body again or get arrested by time-cop. Man, my life SUCKS!"
----
Meanwhile, in a bar, Xavier was drowing his sorrows.
"I hate my job, I hate my life", he said with a sigh, "mother always told me to go into accounting, I should have listened to her".
Next to him, sat Clark Kent, who nodded in sympathy.
"I hear you", he said, "If I'd have stayed on the farm...well, my life would have been alot easier"
"Chucky!"
Charles groaned as Pyro danced into the bar, pulling Batman with him.
"Look who I found!", said the manic Autrailian, "he's Mr Pop 'N Fresh"
"Press my tummy", giggled Batman drunkenly.
"Bruce?", asked Superman, "are you feeling okay?"
"PRESS MY TUMMY!!!!", screamed Batman
"Okay, okay!", he said, giving him a gentle prod, sending Batman crashing to the floor, "sorry"
Charles groaned again, making a grab for the vodka.
"Oh, look!", said Pyro with a grin, "Sheilas!"
Indeed, walking into the bar were Catwoman, Poison Ivy, and Lilandra.
"See, Lil", said Catwoman, "isn't Earth a fun place?"
Lilandra rolled her eyes, before grinning, seeing Charles.
"Wooot, I got me some manflesh"
With a manic giggle, she grabbed Xavier's wheelchair and sped out of the bar.
"Bye bye Chucky!!, said Pyro, waving her off as Batman disapeared under a pile of villianesses.
"Yup", said Superman, "really wishing I'd stayed on the farm right now"
-----
Meanwhile, Wanda was having issues with her own. Selene had opted to appear and hit on Todd. Even though Wanda 'Didn't care squat about the frog boy', she attacked, as she often did, with anger and rage.
"I'M the witch in this seires!", she snapped, "ME ME ME!"
She tossed a hext-bolt at Selene, who ducked it.
"Yeah, but I'm so much hotter and better than you!", she said, sending a telekentic punch at Wanda.
"Ladies, ladies", said Todd, clearing his throat, "there's plenty of Toddles to go around"
Selene smacked Wanda to the ground with a bust of flame, before landing next to Todd, pulling him in for a passionate kiss before skipping off happily.
Todd blinked back, dazed, smiling as Selene waltzed off.
"That was shallow, cheap, and based solely on hormones", said Todd, then paused, grinning, "WORKS FOR ME!"
Wanda growled, smacking him over the head with a hex-bolt.
---
"I have you now, Spider-Man!"
Spider-Man sighed as a teen, and very skinny, Kingpin tried to squease the life out of him outside the Xavier mansion.
"Oh, eek", he said dryly, "I. Am. So. Afraid"
ARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!
Both looked up to see Kurt running (or rather rolling) towards the mansion, a huge tide of cats following him. The cats seemed to be meowing.
"They call me ze great meow", whimpered Kurt as he stopped before them, "they vant to make me their God...help me!"
"See, Runt, I told ya I could find my way back to the mansion!"
Sabertooth was proudly leading the rest of battered teens, adults and miscalaneous back to the mansion. The tide of cats made a U-Turn, heading right for him.
"Me-OW, Me-OW", they meowed.
"Mother", whimpered Sabertooth, running for his life.
"Well...that was weird", said Tabby.
"Can we just get on with this so I can shoot him?!", whimpered Bishop, who's gun was still firmly planted on Forge's head.
"You don't want to shoot me, really", said Forge with a nervous laugh, giving the X-Men a glare, "thanks for helping me out and coming to my rescue, by the way"
Hank shrugged.
"We figure the only way to get you to go back to normal is by gunpoint....so it actually works out well for us"
Forge muttered something unrepeatable under his breath.
The various age and time changed people entered the mansion, to find Seren calmly sitting on the stairs.
"Where did YOU come from?", said Storm, blinking.
Seren shrugged.
"I'm a plot device, I appear whenever I'm needed"
"Ahhhhhh", said the group.
"Hey cool cats, Unckie Chuckies in the house".
Xavier wheeled back in, his clothes ruffled and a grin on his face.
"Professor, you're home!", said Scott happily, then backed away from him, holding his nose, "ewwwwww, you reek, you need a bath!"
"You know, I'm just too zoned out to care", said Xavier, smiling, "I was abducted by this hot alien babe, and we made made passionate.."
"That's a really nice story", said Hank, cutting him off, "but we don't need any drunk tales right now, we need to get changed back"
Charles pouted.
"But it wasn't a story, it was true, honest!!!!"
"Whatever you say, Rummy", said Lance. [2]
-----
[1] - As laughable as this concept is with Evo Forge, some of his alternate versions..particually those that appear in Exiles and Mutant X, are either traitors or very evil villians. You should see Phylanx-possesed- Forge...that guy is UBER evil.
[2] - God bless the Simpsons.
Tee hee, can't you guess that was written in the space of an hour? I think my brain imploded on itself ;). If you have any more requests, I suggest you make them now, as the next chapter is the last. Until next time....
By Todd Fan
Disclaimer: "That's not a bottle of booze! It's his magic bottle that makes his problems go away.......nevermind"
---
Hi all, the next chapter will be the last. Methinks the randomness has hurt Todd Fan's poor little brain. But not to fear, it won't be the last in the story line...you wait until the next story in this arc, bwhahahahahahahahaha!
---
Rurouni Tyriel - Ahh thanks for the info. I'm afraid after the Justice League, the cartoon version at that, my hero knowledge kinda...dies. The only DC comic I bother with is 'Fables'. But I'll try to throw in Superman ;)
Red Witch - After the Jurassic Park 'river ride' in Universal, I lost the nerve to go on anything that went slightly fast...yes, I'm a coaster coward ;). I did go on the Ellen ride though, Bill Nigh, the Science Guy!.
Asteria - Batman is here because he was requested. Not to worry, U.S didn't scare me that much....except for that one couple whom, when I said I was from Wales, responded with 'Wow, we didn't think you people really existed!'. 0.o
Draco-luver - Ahh, I too have seen PoA sniffs what did they do to my favorite HP book? They ripped it into pieces and danced on the remains. DANCED! Cries manically...ahem.
The crow that caws at half pass six - Well, I don't know my DC's very well, but I'll give it a shot ;). Bishop coming after Forge? Oh the fun I can have!!
BaronOBeefDip - One Todd quote and great meow all done and ready!
C-wolf - A skinny teen kingpin is all yours :D
Andivari - It wasn't me it was...err...my brother! Yeah, pre-pre-teen hormones and all that!. Okay...I might have done a bit of it. Beast on a Not-A-Date, Shazam!
UniversalAnimeGirl - Random insanity is what I excel at, M'dear ;) Yes, I have that many cameo's, I can remember who's where...it's scary 0.0
L1701E - Ahhh thanks for the info, don't feel insulted if I don't include your OC, stuff, bar about counts on fingers three exceptions, I have a personal rule about not using others OC's ;)
Chaotic Boredom - Thanking you. Yes, my dad is a never-ending source of entertainment, betting within the family what he will do next, scary thing is...he's very serious about his 'projects'. They left Noctune behind? 0.o. Must get that issue. One Lilandra for you, but I haven't the foggyest who Deathbird is. ;)
-----
Chapter 14 - Hello Mudda, Hello Fadda
-----
"So", said Mystique, where she was sitting with most of the aged-changed people....and their various jolted- from- time offspring, "are we all decided we find Charles and get a way to get us all back to normal"
The crowd nodded.
"I don't", said Forge.
"You don't count!", snapped Hank, smacking him over the head, then paled, "oh no, I was supposed to be in a conference! I MISSED IT!"
"Big deal", said Warren, waving a wing, then paused, "is this where I live?"
"No, Warren, this is NOT where you live", groaned Storm, pinching the bridge of her nose, before smiling at Hank, "I know why you wanted to go, you had a date with Shannon, didn't you?"
"No I did not!", snapped Hank, blushing, "it's Not-A-Date!"
"You do sooooooo!", laughed Storm.
"Does so too what?", asked Rogue, squeaking as Magnus lauched himself at her.
"MOTHER!", he said.
Rogue blinked.
"Hownow and whatnow?"
Kitty winced, before leaning in to whisper into her ear. Rogue looked positively ill, making a run for the mansion.
"Unclean, unclean, unclean!", she screamed.
"Oh, gee...thanks", said Magneto dryly.
ZZZZZZAAAAAAAPPPPPPP
Suddenly, Bishop appeared out of a porthole, holding a rather large gun. As soon as he caught sight of Forge, he aimed his gun at him.
"Ah HAH!", said Bishop, "I have caught you, you pond-scum-of-the-universe!"
Forge blinked slowly.
"Do I owe you money?", he tried, "'cause I put a cheque in the post, honest. You people call my people, we'll get it all sorted out"
Bishop narrowed his eyes.
"Don't try to weasel your way out or this one, I know you're evil, Forge. Evil as...err...a very evil thing!"
"Old buddy of yours?", quipped Logan.
"Oh yeah, lots of my buddies point guns at my heads", said Forge dryly, them smiled at Bishop, "you got the wrong guy, honest"
Bishop blinked, pulling out a sheet of paper from his pocket.
"I have someone fitting your description and powers", he said, "you have to be arrested for attempting to destroy the Earth". [1]
The crowd were silent for a moment, before bursting into hysterical laughter.
"HEY!", snapped Forge, "I could if I wanted too"
Bishop cocked his gun.
"Not that I would!", added Forge quickly, he smiled, "y'see, it can't be me, 'cause I don't normally look like this. I normally look seventeen"
Bishop arched a brow.
"You do not look seventeen now"
Forge coughed.
"No...", he said, then sighed, "get stuck in a teen body again or get arrested by time-cop. Man, my life SUCKS!"
----
Meanwhile, in a bar, Xavier was drowing his sorrows.
"I hate my job, I hate my life", he said with a sigh, "mother always told me to go into accounting, I should have listened to her".
Next to him, sat Clark Kent, who nodded in sympathy.
"I hear you", he said, "If I'd have stayed on the farm...well, my life would have been alot easier"
"Chucky!"
Charles groaned as Pyro danced into the bar, pulling Batman with him.
"Look who I found!", said the manic Autrailian, "he's Mr Pop 'N Fresh"
"Press my tummy", giggled Batman drunkenly.
"Bruce?", asked Superman, "are you feeling okay?"
"PRESS MY TUMMY!!!!", screamed Batman
"Okay, okay!", he said, giving him a gentle prod, sending Batman crashing to the floor, "sorry"
Charles groaned again, making a grab for the vodka.
"Oh, look!", said Pyro with a grin, "Sheilas!"
Indeed, walking into the bar were Catwoman, Poison Ivy, and Lilandra.
"See, Lil", said Catwoman, "isn't Earth a fun place?"
Lilandra rolled her eyes, before grinning, seeing Charles.
"Wooot, I got me some manflesh"
With a manic giggle, she grabbed Xavier's wheelchair and sped out of the bar.
"Bye bye Chucky!!, said Pyro, waving her off as Batman disapeared under a pile of villianesses.
"Yup", said Superman, "really wishing I'd stayed on the farm right now"
-----
Meanwhile, Wanda was having issues with her own. Selene had opted to appear and hit on Todd. Even though Wanda 'Didn't care squat about the frog boy', she attacked, as she often did, with anger and rage.
"I'M the witch in this seires!", she snapped, "ME ME ME!"
She tossed a hext-bolt at Selene, who ducked it.
"Yeah, but I'm so much hotter and better than you!", she said, sending a telekentic punch at Wanda.
"Ladies, ladies", said Todd, clearing his throat, "there's plenty of Toddles to go around"
Selene smacked Wanda to the ground with a bust of flame, before landing next to Todd, pulling him in for a passionate kiss before skipping off happily.
Todd blinked back, dazed, smiling as Selene waltzed off.
"That was shallow, cheap, and based solely on hormones", said Todd, then paused, grinning, "WORKS FOR ME!"
Wanda growled, smacking him over the head with a hex-bolt.
---
"I have you now, Spider-Man!"
Spider-Man sighed as a teen, and very skinny, Kingpin tried to squease the life out of him outside the Xavier mansion.
"Oh, eek", he said dryly, "I. Am. So. Afraid"
ARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!
Both looked up to see Kurt running (or rather rolling) towards the mansion, a huge tide of cats following him. The cats seemed to be meowing.
"They call me ze great meow", whimpered Kurt as he stopped before them, "they vant to make me their God...help me!"
"See, Runt, I told ya I could find my way back to the mansion!"
Sabertooth was proudly leading the rest of battered teens, adults and miscalaneous back to the mansion. The tide of cats made a U-Turn, heading right for him.
"Me-OW, Me-OW", they meowed.
"Mother", whimpered Sabertooth, running for his life.
"Well...that was weird", said Tabby.
"Can we just get on with this so I can shoot him?!", whimpered Bishop, who's gun was still firmly planted on Forge's head.
"You don't want to shoot me, really", said Forge with a nervous laugh, giving the X-Men a glare, "thanks for helping me out and coming to my rescue, by the way"
Hank shrugged.
"We figure the only way to get you to go back to normal is by gunpoint....so it actually works out well for us"
Forge muttered something unrepeatable under his breath.
The various age and time changed people entered the mansion, to find Seren calmly sitting on the stairs.
"Where did YOU come from?", said Storm, blinking.
Seren shrugged.
"I'm a plot device, I appear whenever I'm needed"
"Ahhhhhh", said the group.
"Hey cool cats, Unckie Chuckies in the house".
Xavier wheeled back in, his clothes ruffled and a grin on his face.
"Professor, you're home!", said Scott happily, then backed away from him, holding his nose, "ewwwwww, you reek, you need a bath!"
"You know, I'm just too zoned out to care", said Xavier, smiling, "I was abducted by this hot alien babe, and we made made passionate.."
"That's a really nice story", said Hank, cutting him off, "but we don't need any drunk tales right now, we need to get changed back"
Charles pouted.
"But it wasn't a story, it was true, honest!!!!"
"Whatever you say, Rummy", said Lance. [2]
-----
[1] - As laughable as this concept is with Evo Forge, some of his alternate versions..particually those that appear in Exiles and Mutant X, are either traitors or very evil villians. You should see Phylanx-possesed- Forge...that guy is UBER evil.
[2] - God bless the Simpsons.
Tee hee, can't you guess that was written in the space of an hour? I think my brain imploded on itself ;). If you have any more requests, I suggest you make them now, as the next chapter is the last. Until next time....