Disclaimer: Hey Tolkien, fetch! throws manuscripts for Hobbit, Lord of the
Rings Trilogy, Silmarillion, etc. Tolkien runs and grabs them in his mouth
Tolkien drools Good boy, have a bone!
Ok maybe I lied. Yes, it's all his.
End Disclaimer
After the War of the Ring, Aragorn and Arwen are making wedding plans.
"I think everything should be pink! EVERYTHING!" said Arwen happily.
"But Arwen, you're an elf, and this is a wedding. Elves, weddings and pink grimace don't go well together."
"Hmmmm......" contemplated Arwen. "Hey! Are you saying we shouldn't get married?" tears
"No my love, I'm saying we shouldn't use pink," sighed Aragorn.
"Fine! Green, then"
"Yes! That's a wonderful idea," said Aragorn
The happy couple went out to lunch at a nice restaurant in Minas Tirith. After eating, they walked around looking at all the shops. Minas Tirith was at peace, and men, elves and dwarves strolled its streets. Except for one slinking creature......
"Gollum, Gollum. Destroyed it, Baggins did. Destroyed it, hmm...I'll destroy him, I will! Took the Precious, and I helped him, I did. Gollum, goll – "
"Oh look, how cute! Oh my gosh, let's keep it Aragorn. Can we?" exclaimed Arwen (all in one breath) To his own horror, Arwen had picked up Gollum and was cuddling him.
Aragorn recognized Gollum immediately, and was amazed.
"Frodo said you fell into Mount Doom and were consumed with the Ring. What really happened?" asked Aragorn.
"Fell in, yes, Gollum. Consumed, no and no precious either. Nooooo pre –"
"Come on Fluffy, let's give you a bath!" said Arwen, heading off down the street, with Aragorn following.
20 armed guards approached the 3. "Sir, we have come to protect you and the Lady Arwen from harm. Who is the intruder?" said the captain, addressing Aragorn.
"I'm a bloody King, I can take care of myself and my fiancé perfectly well ON MY OWN! Bloody hell..." yelled Aragorn.
"Ummm......Yes, My lord"
Aragorn has an idea
"Actually, it would be appreciated if you could remove the...ermmm....intruder, captain," added Aragorn.
The captain and his men attempted to remove Gollum from Arwen's arms, but she protested. "Noooo! Fluffy is MY pet and I'm going to give him a bath and make him cute! And then he can come to our wedding!" exclaimed a smiling Arwen.
"Oh, nevermind," muttered the King wearily. His fiancé was at many times his worst enemy. At too many times.
In a few minutes Aragorn found himself in Madame's Petite Pet Parlor. There were so many different shampoos, conditioners, perfumes and burning candles that the cloying scent was dizzying.
"Places like this should be outlawed," muttered Aragorn as he collapsed into a chair. Everything was spinning...why was Gollum spinning in circles in a pink bathtub?...
"Honey! Honey? Are you all ready to go? Fluffy is all fixed up!" said Arwen, shaking awake Aragorn.
"Where's Gollum?"
"If you mean Fluffy, then he is right here! Silly you! But isn't he so cute? reverts to baby talk Oh yes little fluffy-wuffy is oh – soooooo cute!!!" said Arwen sweetly, gesturing at a pink, frilly basket covered in lace and bows. Within, a traumatized Gollum was huddled, in a pink frilly dress with many pink bows.
Aragorn bangs his head on the door, then follows his fiancé out onto the street
"Oh, this is absolutely wonderful! Fluffy can be the ring bearer at our wedding, honey! And carry up our wedding rings on a pink satin pillow!" said Arwen.
"You mean GREEN satin pillow. And I don't think that's such a good idea. Gollum can be a little obsessive about rings," said Aragorn.
"Precious?" perked up a little traumatized pink ball.
"Yes, that's right Fluffy. You ARE very precious. Oh yes, so adorably precious – "
"ARWEN!!!!!!!!!!!!! Where is all of my money?? If you spent it on that mischievous, slinking THING then this is not going to be pretty!!!"
"Uh oh!" giggled Arwen girlishly.
Hope you liked. PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!! Flames will be used to heat my frozen (vegetarian) TV dinners. Not that I'm a couch potato.
It will get better, I promise.
Ok maybe I lied. Yes, it's all his.
End Disclaimer
After the War of the Ring, Aragorn and Arwen are making wedding plans.
"I think everything should be pink! EVERYTHING!" said Arwen happily.
"But Arwen, you're an elf, and this is a wedding. Elves, weddings and pink grimace don't go well together."
"Hmmmm......" contemplated Arwen. "Hey! Are you saying we shouldn't get married?" tears
"No my love, I'm saying we shouldn't use pink," sighed Aragorn.
"Fine! Green, then"
"Yes! That's a wonderful idea," said Aragorn
The happy couple went out to lunch at a nice restaurant in Minas Tirith. After eating, they walked around looking at all the shops. Minas Tirith was at peace, and men, elves and dwarves strolled its streets. Except for one slinking creature......
"Gollum, Gollum. Destroyed it, Baggins did. Destroyed it, hmm...I'll destroy him, I will! Took the Precious, and I helped him, I did. Gollum, goll – "
"Oh look, how cute! Oh my gosh, let's keep it Aragorn. Can we?" exclaimed Arwen (all in one breath) To his own horror, Arwen had picked up Gollum and was cuddling him.
Aragorn recognized Gollum immediately, and was amazed.
"Frodo said you fell into Mount Doom and were consumed with the Ring. What really happened?" asked Aragorn.
"Fell in, yes, Gollum. Consumed, no and no precious either. Nooooo pre –"
"Come on Fluffy, let's give you a bath!" said Arwen, heading off down the street, with Aragorn following.
20 armed guards approached the 3. "Sir, we have come to protect you and the Lady Arwen from harm. Who is the intruder?" said the captain, addressing Aragorn.
"I'm a bloody King, I can take care of myself and my fiancé perfectly well ON MY OWN! Bloody hell..." yelled Aragorn.
"Ummm......Yes, My lord"
Aragorn has an idea
"Actually, it would be appreciated if you could remove the...ermmm....intruder, captain," added Aragorn.
The captain and his men attempted to remove Gollum from Arwen's arms, but she protested. "Noooo! Fluffy is MY pet and I'm going to give him a bath and make him cute! And then he can come to our wedding!" exclaimed a smiling Arwen.
"Oh, nevermind," muttered the King wearily. His fiancé was at many times his worst enemy. At too many times.
In a few minutes Aragorn found himself in Madame's Petite Pet Parlor. There were so many different shampoos, conditioners, perfumes and burning candles that the cloying scent was dizzying.
"Places like this should be outlawed," muttered Aragorn as he collapsed into a chair. Everything was spinning...why was Gollum spinning in circles in a pink bathtub?...
"Honey! Honey? Are you all ready to go? Fluffy is all fixed up!" said Arwen, shaking awake Aragorn.
"Where's Gollum?"
"If you mean Fluffy, then he is right here! Silly you! But isn't he so cute? reverts to baby talk Oh yes little fluffy-wuffy is oh – soooooo cute!!!" said Arwen sweetly, gesturing at a pink, frilly basket covered in lace and bows. Within, a traumatized Gollum was huddled, in a pink frilly dress with many pink bows.
Aragorn bangs his head on the door, then follows his fiancé out onto the street
"Oh, this is absolutely wonderful! Fluffy can be the ring bearer at our wedding, honey! And carry up our wedding rings on a pink satin pillow!" said Arwen.
"You mean GREEN satin pillow. And I don't think that's such a good idea. Gollum can be a little obsessive about rings," said Aragorn.
"Precious?" perked up a little traumatized pink ball.
"Yes, that's right Fluffy. You ARE very precious. Oh yes, so adorably precious – "
"ARWEN!!!!!!!!!!!!! Where is all of my money?? If you spent it on that mischievous, slinking THING then this is not going to be pretty!!!"
"Uh oh!" giggled Arwen girlishly.
Hope you liked. PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!! Flames will be used to heat my frozen (vegetarian) TV dinners. Not that I'm a couch potato.
It will get better, I promise.