Disclaimer: It's all mine. Not. I bet I had you fooled for a minute there,
though. Well, maybe a second. Perhaps a millisecond, or a nanosecond, or a
– this could go on a while; I think you get the idea.
After a very strong......ermmmm.......beverage, Aragorn had calmed down about his loss of a money pouch stuffed full of gold coins. But, he was still sure that he needed to get rid of Gollum.
"Hmmm.....Arwen, I'm getting tired. Let's head back to the tower now. I want to show Gollum....errr.....Fluffy, that is, the view from the White Tower," said Aragorn.
"Sure! I have to coordinate the wedding decorations anyways," replied the clueless beauty.
"Remember, GREEN! NOT pink!!!" reminded Aragorn.
The two parted in front of the white tree, and Aragorn headed for the White Tower. The tower guard admitted him with a hardly concealed laugh. Aragorn, carrying a lacy pink basket covered in frills, was surrounded by dizzying waves of perfume emanating from the basket.
"Sir, may I ask about the basket?" asked the tower guard.
"Fiancés...." muttered the King.
Aragorn stumbled up the stairs, dragging the basket behind him. Gollum was no help, either.
"Gollum, gollum. Called me cute, she did, cute and preciousss. Can't BE precious, must FIND precious. Too much pink, too much smelly, gollum gollum. And now Mr. King has me. Where to, Mr. King? We knows you, ohh yesssss. You helped, you did. Helped Baggins destroy the Precious. Precioussss...."
"For Illuvatar's sake, do you ever shut up? Try to talk about something positive for once, if you must speak at all!"
"Positive? Hmmm...good, he means? Good, good...good plan. Taking Baggins to Her, that was a good plan......stairs, stairs, so many stairs here Mr. King. Just like stairs to Her tunnel. But Her tunnel is nice, dark and pretty! Dark, yes precioussss."
"And I care why?" demanded a frustrated Aragorn.
Of course insane Gollum continued.
"Your stairs are too white, gollum gollum. Paint them black, black like Her stairs. Then they will be good, yesss precioussss – AAAAAARGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"
Aragorn proceeded to bang the pink lacy Gollum against the wall, after yanking him from the basket.
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!" shrieked the pink blur, "Gollum, gollummmmmmm!"
After Aragorn had vented his frustration on Gollum, he stuffed the creature back into the basket. About to continue on up the stairs, he suddenly dropped the basket.
"AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!" screamed Aragorn, "NOOOOOOOO!!!!"
Gollum had left a pink streak on the white wall.
"My beautiful white tower is stained with PINK!!!"
Aragorn grabbed the basket again and ran up the last few steps to the top of the citadel. "See the view, Fluffy? Like the view? GOOD!"
And with that, the King of Gondor chucked the pink lacy basket and its contents over the railing, and laughed maniacally.
Beorn was having, you guessed it, bread and honey for lunch in his large hall when he heard a whistling sound. Suddenly a frilly pink basket crashed through the roof, onto the floor. A little pink creature bolted out of his house, never to be seen again.
"Hmmm...my friend Treebeard would call that a bit too hasty," said Beorn.
Some of the animals came up and took away the basket (it found a home in the trash incinerator).
Beorn went back to his meal, and made a point never again to call the incident to his memory.
While all this had been happening, Arwen had been organizing the wedding. She was sitting in the middle of the great hall surrounded by cloth swathes, sample balloons and napkins, and 15 different crystal goblets, along with a flurry of planners and assistants.
"So which goblets would you like to use for the wedding, Lady Arwen?"
"I'm not sure yet, but I've narrowed it down to these 14 right here."
"You've only eliminated one cup?!" cried the assistant.
"Yes, because it had a crack in it."
"WHAT? But that was just the example! The real ones that would be used for the wedding won't be cracked! But you really must pick one NOW. The glassblower is getting impatient!"
Glassblower: Aaiieeeeee! I haff to make zousands and zousands of zese and still you haff not picked! Zey are all so close to ze same, anyvays! Aaiieeeee!
"Well fine, I'll pick. But this is MY wedding, you know," said Arwen, "Hmmm....eenie meenie minie mo, catch an Ent by his toe (if he has one), if he's toeless, let him GO! Okay, I know its NOT this one."
Arwen picks up the glass she just eliminated and smashes it onto the ground.
"Accchhhhhh!!!! Aaiieeee!!!!! I cannot watch!" cried the glassblower as he ran out of the room.
"Eenie meenie minie mo, catch an Ent..."
You know you liked it!!!! And if you didn't then review anyways, and say nice things to make me feel better. Well, maybe not..... anyways, bring your eyes (and mouse) to that little box that says SUBMIT REVIEW. Click the little box...you know how to do the rest.
As a reminder, flames will be used to heat my frozen TV dinners (not that I'm a couch potato). You can guess the fate of Sarcastic Sadistic Sadie's review...
I will update soon!!! But first I need more reviews!
After a very strong......ermmmm.......beverage, Aragorn had calmed down about his loss of a money pouch stuffed full of gold coins. But, he was still sure that he needed to get rid of Gollum.
"Hmmm.....Arwen, I'm getting tired. Let's head back to the tower now. I want to show Gollum....errr.....Fluffy, that is, the view from the White Tower," said Aragorn.
"Sure! I have to coordinate the wedding decorations anyways," replied the clueless beauty.
"Remember, GREEN! NOT pink!!!" reminded Aragorn.
The two parted in front of the white tree, and Aragorn headed for the White Tower. The tower guard admitted him with a hardly concealed laugh. Aragorn, carrying a lacy pink basket covered in frills, was surrounded by dizzying waves of perfume emanating from the basket.
"Sir, may I ask about the basket?" asked the tower guard.
"Fiancés...." muttered the King.
Aragorn stumbled up the stairs, dragging the basket behind him. Gollum was no help, either.
"Gollum, gollum. Called me cute, she did, cute and preciousss. Can't BE precious, must FIND precious. Too much pink, too much smelly, gollum gollum. And now Mr. King has me. Where to, Mr. King? We knows you, ohh yesssss. You helped, you did. Helped Baggins destroy the Precious. Precioussss...."
"For Illuvatar's sake, do you ever shut up? Try to talk about something positive for once, if you must speak at all!"
"Positive? Hmmm...good, he means? Good, good...good plan. Taking Baggins to Her, that was a good plan......stairs, stairs, so many stairs here Mr. King. Just like stairs to Her tunnel. But Her tunnel is nice, dark and pretty! Dark, yes precioussss."
"And I care why?" demanded a frustrated Aragorn.
Of course insane Gollum continued.
"Your stairs are too white, gollum gollum. Paint them black, black like Her stairs. Then they will be good, yesss precioussss – AAAAAARGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"
Aragorn proceeded to bang the pink lacy Gollum against the wall, after yanking him from the basket.
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!" shrieked the pink blur, "Gollum, gollummmmmmm!"
After Aragorn had vented his frustration on Gollum, he stuffed the creature back into the basket. About to continue on up the stairs, he suddenly dropped the basket.
"AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!" screamed Aragorn, "NOOOOOOOO!!!!"
Gollum had left a pink streak on the white wall.
"My beautiful white tower is stained with PINK!!!"
Aragorn grabbed the basket again and ran up the last few steps to the top of the citadel. "See the view, Fluffy? Like the view? GOOD!"
And with that, the King of Gondor chucked the pink lacy basket and its contents over the railing, and laughed maniacally.
Beorn was having, you guessed it, bread and honey for lunch in his large hall when he heard a whistling sound. Suddenly a frilly pink basket crashed through the roof, onto the floor. A little pink creature bolted out of his house, never to be seen again.
"Hmmm...my friend Treebeard would call that a bit too hasty," said Beorn.
Some of the animals came up and took away the basket (it found a home in the trash incinerator).
Beorn went back to his meal, and made a point never again to call the incident to his memory.
While all this had been happening, Arwen had been organizing the wedding. She was sitting in the middle of the great hall surrounded by cloth swathes, sample balloons and napkins, and 15 different crystal goblets, along with a flurry of planners and assistants.
"So which goblets would you like to use for the wedding, Lady Arwen?"
"I'm not sure yet, but I've narrowed it down to these 14 right here."
"You've only eliminated one cup?!" cried the assistant.
"Yes, because it had a crack in it."
"WHAT? But that was just the example! The real ones that would be used for the wedding won't be cracked! But you really must pick one NOW. The glassblower is getting impatient!"
Glassblower: Aaiieeeeee! I haff to make zousands and zousands of zese and still you haff not picked! Zey are all so close to ze same, anyvays! Aaiieeeee!
"Well fine, I'll pick. But this is MY wedding, you know," said Arwen, "Hmmm....eenie meenie minie mo, catch an Ent by his toe (if he has one), if he's toeless, let him GO! Okay, I know its NOT this one."
Arwen picks up the glass she just eliminated and smashes it onto the ground.
"Accchhhhhh!!!! Aaiieeee!!!!! I cannot watch!" cried the glassblower as he ran out of the room.
"Eenie meenie minie mo, catch an Ent..."
You know you liked it!!!! And if you didn't then review anyways, and say nice things to make me feel better. Well, maybe not..... anyways, bring your eyes (and mouse) to that little box that says SUBMIT REVIEW. Click the little box...you know how to do the rest.
As a reminder, flames will be used to heat my frozen TV dinners (not that I'm a couch potato). You can guess the fate of Sarcastic Sadistic Sadie's review...
I will update soon!!! But first I need more reviews!