Rainy Days

By Tione

Disclaimer: I laugh.

A/N: Bored. I'm really really really bored right now. It's too soon to write a chapter!

Actually not, since I'm not going to post this for a while. Nyah nyah! *sticks out tongue*

*Pigeon flys over* *tongue still out* (I think you know what just happened. ^^)

Huge thanks to all of my wonderful reviewers! I'm getting so many more than I thought I would! A big ol' cookie to all of you!

Oh, and Eeyaatoe, Happy B-Day! Even if it is belated…

"Okay, everyone is their places? Good, good. Oh, dear, move over two centimeters! It'll look all wrong if you don't!" my *wonderful* *awesome* *loving* stepfather fretted. Don't you just love sarcasm?

You see, right now, Mother is standing by the door, ready to open it upon a moments notice. Stepfather (since I can't remember his name…) is standing next to her, fake smile plastered across his face. And I am standing in the dining room, waiting to greet them when they enter, and hoping Hiei doesn't do too much damage to my poor room…

The other Suuichi, the lucky ducky, was at a friend's house, able to escape the torture.

*Ding Dong*

No, no! Not this soon! I'm too young to die. Head for the hills, its coming! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Eh-hem.

Got a little dramatic there. But it's not my fault! You haven't met them before!

"Like, hi! Where's Suuichi?" the daughter, Akira, enthused. I could just see her twirling her hair around her finger and chewing her cud. *shudder*

"He's in the dining room, dear," Mother told her softly. No, what are you doing, Mother? I love you, but not enough to keep from killing you.

"Hold on a minute, Akira!" Mr. Tachikawa boomed, which was all he could do. "Mr. Minamino (please bear with me…), it's been a long time! And the misses is looking fine!"

"Let's go on to the dining room and we can discuss plans there," Mrs. Tachikawa said stiffly.

The shuffling of footsteps drew closer. And closer. I briefly considered hiding, but Akira had this built in Suuichi radar thing and would find me almost instantly.

"SUUUIIIICCCCCCCCHHHHHHHIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Suddenly, there was a dark blue mass attached to me and was currently trying to choke the life out of me.

"Hello… A-Akira," I wheezed out. Can't… breath. Air! Need Air!

Woow… Air good. I love air. Thank you Mother!

Akira had been plucked from my back and seated at the table. She stared at me "cutely" and twirled a strand of her dark blue (obviously dyed) hair around her finger. Her large blue eyes were giving me a "seductive" look, batting her eyelashes every so often. Of course, she was wearing fifty pounds of make-up too much and her halter top was much too… revealing. And her mini-skirt was… short.  

Before I could continue criticizing her, a large hand pounded me on my back and I stumbled forward. Where had that come from?

"Suuichi, my boy, how are you?" Mr. Tachikawa boomed. Like I said, he can _only_ boom.

"Fine, Mr. Tachikawa," I replied obediently. Secretly, I wanted to whack him on the back. See how much it hurts! Can't take it, can you? Huh? Huh?

Mr. Tachikawa was a very large man. His face was red and his beady eyes were almost lost under rolls of fat. His whiskers (what he called a mustache) were constantly tickling his face, so he was constantly twitching to get them to stop. That just made them tickle more.

On the other hand, Mrs. Tachikawa was this little stick. And if she didn't have legs or arms, I swear, she could have been a snake! I don't know what it was about her face, but she just looked like a snake! All creepy… I've had nightmares about her.

Everyone else migrated over to the table and I just kinda followed them.

"So, Akira, how have you been?" Stepfather asked.

Dear lord, this man is suicidal. I know it. Don't you remember what happened last time? No? Well, then, she'll refresh your memory.

"…And then Yuki was like, No way, that is soo not true, and I was like Yes Way, like, Suuichi really did ask me out. Isn't that, like, so totally awesome? And she finally, like, believed me and then I was like, Psyche! You so totally fell for that one…"

How long has she been going on? Five minutes?

"…The teacher was like, Akira, why don't you have your homework done and I was like, Well, slut, I was too busy to, like, do some worthless stuff that you, like, gave to us, and she was like, all prissy and I was like, You can't, like, blame it on me, like, if you're not gettin' any…"

Ten…

"Akira, honey, that's enough. We need to discuss you arrangement with Suuichi," Mrs. Tachikawa told her.

Normally, nothing would have shut her up. Last time it took some… uhh… special medicine from the Maikai. Not that I have anything to do with it. ^_^'

But my ears perked up at "your, arrangement, with, and Suuichi". All of those words in the same sentence weren't good.

But they didn't do anything like discuss something that could possibly have to do with myself and the devil. The devil was shooting me looks and probably planning ways to get me and her away from the table. Disgusting.

Eventually, I tuned out and stared at Mrs. Tachikawa's mole. It was just so… big. Like that one guy from "Austin Powers: Gold Member". I don't think she noticed because I would probably be in her stomach if she did. She's so much like a snake, I wouldn't be surprised if she ate me.

"So Suuichi, what do you think?" Stepfather asked me.

I snapped back to reality. "Mole? I mean what?"

"What do you think?" Mr. Tachikawa repeated. I did not like the predatory grin on his face.

"About what?" I replied cautiously.

Now I really didn't like that grin on his face. Or on hers. Or hers. Or hers. Or the other his.

Hiei, I hope you're having fun, because I'm not!

Whew! The longest chapter yet! This is sooo fun to write! *dance around a bit* Sorry if everyone suddenly got OOC on you, but makes it funny, right? And this is one of the fastest chapters I've cranked out yet! See ya later!

Chapter Four Preview:

            "Hello. This is Billy Dune from the Purple Pigeon Corporation. We were wondering if you would like to donate any sort of poultry to help fund an excursion to the Bahamas. Will you? Some of the benefits to this are: you will be contri-"

Intriguing, no? *cough sarcasm cough*