Angel sat behind his desk in the Hyperion's office, he felt nervous. Angel never felt nervous, at least not since Connor had been sent away. Wesley and Giles had joined him after they found the scroll. The three of them had been digging through it, looking for an explanation.
"So from what we already knew, the prophecy claimed that a vampire with a soul would be repaid for his good deeds by becoming human, thus the prophecy later that he dies? Wesley why did this make so much more sense when we weren't trying to apply it to Spike?" Angel rubbed his temples.
"Well yes, something which is not alive can never truely die, that was the belief of those who wrote this. A vampire is dead, with or without a soul. This only says that a vampire with a soul will be made human after he survives many obstacles."
"Wesley, I care to differ. You've made a mistake in your translation." Giles interrupted Wesley.
"What? I did not make a mistake! That's what it says!"
"No, what is says that a vampire will endure many trials to aqcuire a soul. The rest of your translation, about this vampire becoming human and whatnot, is spot on. But that tiny flaw makes all the difference."
"It was never meant for me." Angel looked down into his hands. If the disappointments kept coming at this rate he'd be walking out into the noon day sun any time now.
"What Angel?" Giles asked, realizing Wesley and he were so engrossed in their discusion that they forgot he was there.
"So this 'shanshu' was never meant for me was it?"
"It was only natural for Wesley to interpret the scroll that way, we didn't know there was the possibility of another vampire getting a soul."
"So it's not about me, right?" A tinge of anger was taking hold in Angel's voice.
"No, I don't believe it is."
Angel stood up so fast both Wesley and Giles didn't see it happen. Angel was out of the room even faster, with them only realizing he was gone when they heard the office door slam. Wesley shifted to stand up.
"Don't Wesley, leave him be."
"But Giles, I don't want him to do something stupid."
"He won't, this has just changed everything for him. He thought that his curse had been placed upon him for a higher reason, and now he finds out that is the furthest thing from the truth. You wouldn't be so chipper about it yourself."
"I guess."
"I would like some time with the scroll. Andrew is quite good with demon languages, he may be able to help me translate this further, so we can see what this is truely about."
"Well, it doesn't appear you will be leaving here anytime soon, so take all the time you want."
***********************************************************************
The cool night air was giving way to the suffocating thick of LA's daytime atmosphere. The back garden would still be dark enough for a few hours, the night blooming Jasmine was just beginning to shrink back into their shells. Angel stood on the balcony, gripping the steel with his hands, his knuckles turning white. He felt Angelus stabbing at his insides, wanting to roar, wanting to scream out to whoever could hear that the last 3 years had been a sham. The monster in him was always boiling just under the surface.
He balled a hand into a fist and punched the brick wall. He vamped out. Once. Twice. His fist connected with the brick, the mortar. The brick started to crumble, on his fingers small droplets of blood started to pool.
"Now I know there's a lot of 'em. But if you're gonna start needing the anger management therapy this soon into the mini-slayer invasion, we are gonna have some serious probs." Faith stood behind him. He could hear her fumbling through the pockets of her denim jacket, then he heard the shuffle of a cigarette and the familiar flip of a zippo.
"Go away Faith."
"Now Angel, you know it ain't that easy. I mean if you went away everytime I'd said those 3 little words, I would have already spent my last moments in a state owned electric chair."
"Go away." They were the only words Angel could muster. He huddled over his bleeding hand, facing away from her, his anger still on his face, his hurt just behind his eyes.
Faith stepped towards him and put her hand on his back. Angel whipped around so fast she jumped back.
"Whoa Angel, calm down man. So on edge, you've really gotta chill out. Things'll be fine. We'll all be out of your well coifed hair in a few weeks. 'Til then, you can just lay low, if Spike and I could handle all those girls, surely..."
"Spike, its always about Spike isn't it? There was a time when everyone wanted him to be like me, when I was important. I should have staked him when I had the chance."
Faith fingered the silver zippo in her hands, it was warm from being in her jeans pocket. Angel grabbed her hand and pryed it out of her fingers.
"This is his isn't it? What, did you all get mementos? Buffy screws him, Giles has a soft spot for him, and you got the lighter? If you tell me him and Xander were best friends I will seriously use this to light myself on fire."
"No way man, Xan hates him." Angel tossed the lighter at her. "Whats this about Angel? I mean I know you are the dark avenger and all, but even this is a bit moody for you."
"It wasn't meant for me, it never was meant for me."
"What? A spot on American Idol? Summers spent in Ibiza?"
"The prophecy. I will never be made human again. I will never be alive, I will always be this dead shell. This is it, this, this right here, this is my destiny."
"Hey man, prophecies aren't always right. I should know, I mean, hello? I was supposed to be the 'chosen one'! Then I show up in SunnyD and B is still kickin' it, alive and well. Instead I got to be the accidentally chosen. Not high on the list of incentives."
"This is different. This was my second chance, my chance to make it all right."
"Everyone gets second chances man. Hell I've gotten fifth chances. You're all good and stuff, so I don't see what the problem is. I mean you aren't eating people, you help people, you defend the earth from the forces of darkness, there aren't a hell of a lot of guys who can say that."
"I'm not like other guys. Faith you of all people know whats inside of me, you've been there. You know hes always right there. I thought if I could lose him for good that my life could be different."
"Yeah and that's where you're wrong man. We all got badness right beneath the surface. Everytime I get super ragin', it takes all I got to not lash out and take it out on someone else. I still have it inside me, there's a part of me which would love nothing more than to go out on an old fashioned killing spree, taking whatever I want, doing what ever I want, just because I can. But I don't, and I'm human. The only difference between me and you is a pulse."
"Yeah, but that makes all the difference in the world."
The sun was starting to cascade down from the top of the building into the courtyard. Angel backed away from the railing and silently went back inside the hotel. Faith knew how he was feeling, she remembered it all too well. She knew it wasn't fair, but then again injustice never was.
"So from what we already knew, the prophecy claimed that a vampire with a soul would be repaid for his good deeds by becoming human, thus the prophecy later that he dies? Wesley why did this make so much more sense when we weren't trying to apply it to Spike?" Angel rubbed his temples.
"Well yes, something which is not alive can never truely die, that was the belief of those who wrote this. A vampire is dead, with or without a soul. This only says that a vampire with a soul will be made human after he survives many obstacles."
"Wesley, I care to differ. You've made a mistake in your translation." Giles interrupted Wesley.
"What? I did not make a mistake! That's what it says!"
"No, what is says that a vampire will endure many trials to aqcuire a soul. The rest of your translation, about this vampire becoming human and whatnot, is spot on. But that tiny flaw makes all the difference."
"It was never meant for me." Angel looked down into his hands. If the disappointments kept coming at this rate he'd be walking out into the noon day sun any time now.
"What Angel?" Giles asked, realizing Wesley and he were so engrossed in their discusion that they forgot he was there.
"So this 'shanshu' was never meant for me was it?"
"It was only natural for Wesley to interpret the scroll that way, we didn't know there was the possibility of another vampire getting a soul."
"So it's not about me, right?" A tinge of anger was taking hold in Angel's voice.
"No, I don't believe it is."
Angel stood up so fast both Wesley and Giles didn't see it happen. Angel was out of the room even faster, with them only realizing he was gone when they heard the office door slam. Wesley shifted to stand up.
"Don't Wesley, leave him be."
"But Giles, I don't want him to do something stupid."
"He won't, this has just changed everything for him. He thought that his curse had been placed upon him for a higher reason, and now he finds out that is the furthest thing from the truth. You wouldn't be so chipper about it yourself."
"I guess."
"I would like some time with the scroll. Andrew is quite good with demon languages, he may be able to help me translate this further, so we can see what this is truely about."
"Well, it doesn't appear you will be leaving here anytime soon, so take all the time you want."
***********************************************************************
The cool night air was giving way to the suffocating thick of LA's daytime atmosphere. The back garden would still be dark enough for a few hours, the night blooming Jasmine was just beginning to shrink back into their shells. Angel stood on the balcony, gripping the steel with his hands, his knuckles turning white. He felt Angelus stabbing at his insides, wanting to roar, wanting to scream out to whoever could hear that the last 3 years had been a sham. The monster in him was always boiling just under the surface.
He balled a hand into a fist and punched the brick wall. He vamped out. Once. Twice. His fist connected with the brick, the mortar. The brick started to crumble, on his fingers small droplets of blood started to pool.
"Now I know there's a lot of 'em. But if you're gonna start needing the anger management therapy this soon into the mini-slayer invasion, we are gonna have some serious probs." Faith stood behind him. He could hear her fumbling through the pockets of her denim jacket, then he heard the shuffle of a cigarette and the familiar flip of a zippo.
"Go away Faith."
"Now Angel, you know it ain't that easy. I mean if you went away everytime I'd said those 3 little words, I would have already spent my last moments in a state owned electric chair."
"Go away." They were the only words Angel could muster. He huddled over his bleeding hand, facing away from her, his anger still on his face, his hurt just behind his eyes.
Faith stepped towards him and put her hand on his back. Angel whipped around so fast she jumped back.
"Whoa Angel, calm down man. So on edge, you've really gotta chill out. Things'll be fine. We'll all be out of your well coifed hair in a few weeks. 'Til then, you can just lay low, if Spike and I could handle all those girls, surely..."
"Spike, its always about Spike isn't it? There was a time when everyone wanted him to be like me, when I was important. I should have staked him when I had the chance."
Faith fingered the silver zippo in her hands, it was warm from being in her jeans pocket. Angel grabbed her hand and pryed it out of her fingers.
"This is his isn't it? What, did you all get mementos? Buffy screws him, Giles has a soft spot for him, and you got the lighter? If you tell me him and Xander were best friends I will seriously use this to light myself on fire."
"No way man, Xan hates him." Angel tossed the lighter at her. "Whats this about Angel? I mean I know you are the dark avenger and all, but even this is a bit moody for you."
"It wasn't meant for me, it never was meant for me."
"What? A spot on American Idol? Summers spent in Ibiza?"
"The prophecy. I will never be made human again. I will never be alive, I will always be this dead shell. This is it, this, this right here, this is my destiny."
"Hey man, prophecies aren't always right. I should know, I mean, hello? I was supposed to be the 'chosen one'! Then I show up in SunnyD and B is still kickin' it, alive and well. Instead I got to be the accidentally chosen. Not high on the list of incentives."
"This is different. This was my second chance, my chance to make it all right."
"Everyone gets second chances man. Hell I've gotten fifth chances. You're all good and stuff, so I don't see what the problem is. I mean you aren't eating people, you help people, you defend the earth from the forces of darkness, there aren't a hell of a lot of guys who can say that."
"I'm not like other guys. Faith you of all people know whats inside of me, you've been there. You know hes always right there. I thought if I could lose him for good that my life could be different."
"Yeah and that's where you're wrong man. We all got badness right beneath the surface. Everytime I get super ragin', it takes all I got to not lash out and take it out on someone else. I still have it inside me, there's a part of me which would love nothing more than to go out on an old fashioned killing spree, taking whatever I want, doing what ever I want, just because I can. But I don't, and I'm human. The only difference between me and you is a pulse."
"Yeah, but that makes all the difference in the world."
The sun was starting to cascade down from the top of the building into the courtyard. Angel backed away from the railing and silently went back inside the hotel. Faith knew how he was feeling, she remembered it all too well. She knew it wasn't fair, but then again injustice never was.