Rainy Days

By Tione

Disclaimer: I laugh.

A/N: More torture to be had! More mayhem, more insanity!

Hiei's sword commands you to go to the Rainy Days pagey thing on my website! Visit  

Revisions: A few spelling and grammar mistakes. 09/02/03

            "Kurama, your ceiling is talking to me," Yusuke stated seriously.

            I blinked at him. "What is it saying?" I asked cautiously. As we know, Yusuke can be a bit… unpredictable? Odd? Loony?

            "It wants to work at KFC."

            "Erm, Yusuke… What are you on?"

            At that he looked genuinely confused. "I'm on your bed. Duh." I nodded and started scooting away from him.

            "Hey guys! What's up?" Kuwabara didn't pause for an answer, "By the way, Happy Birthday Kurama! Urameshi, did you know Keiko just turned into a man-eating walnut?" He sauntered in and took a position flopped across the end of my bed, and consequently, across Yusuke's feet.

            Didn't 'Kassan warn me about these kinds of people?

            "Yeah, yeah, what's new? Now get off my feet," he grumbled and shoved Kuwabara off.

            If you couldn't tell, today is my birthday. We're having a slumber p- male-bonding night. Not one of my stepfather's brightest ideas.

            Okay… Yukina said it was "Happy Bigbuttday, Kurama" right?

            "… Did either one of you say something about Big Butts?" I interrupted. I'm getting seriously freaked out. This isn't the first time that I've heard a random voice muttering phrases in my head.

            Kuwabara scratched his head. "Nope, not that I can remember. Sorry, do you want us to?"

            I shook my head as a pounding on the window made itself known.  

            "I bet that's Hiei!" Yusuke shouted and stood up to open the window.

            Denial is not just a river in Egypt. Hiei's actually here. He's standing in the window looking awkward. Yusuke is babbling on about nothing and pulling him into the room. A meteor is hitting this room right now and destroying us all.

            …Okay, so it's not. I lied.

            "Hi, Hiei. I didn't think you would be here." Oooh, that was smart Kurama. Just let your mouth flap on while your brain takes a vacation to Hiei Land. … Why can't I go too?

            "Yukina told me that it was your… Bigbuttday," he replied.

            Okay, what?

            "So… um, Happy Bigbuttday!"

            Kuwabara, of course, started rolling on the floor laughing his ass off, Yusuke was in a similar state, and I will admit, I chuckled a few times myself.

            "I think you mean Happy Birthday, right?" He turned as red as FF0000. [1] At his slight nod, I sent a look to the two appendages that have seemed to have grown out of the floor and said to Hiei, "Thank you!"

            He looked slightly better now that he knew I wasn't going to ridicule him. After he had taken his customary spot in the corner near the bed, Yusuke stood up and shouted, "Now let the game begin! My Roy will whoop anyone you pit against him! [2]"

            But then I heard something that made my skin crawl. It's a sound I never have and never will forget.

            "I'm Falco!"

            And that wasn't it.

            "SSSSSSSSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

            That was.

            I'm sure a panicked look crossed my face at that point. One with enough neon signs to alert even Kuwabara that something was wrong. Hiei had a similar look on his face. I don't think he'll ever forget that voice either.

            I sent a look in Hiei's direction, a pleading one, I hoped. C'mon, do this Hiei? Please?

            To my complete and total surprise, I heard Hiei respond _in my head_. Yes.

            Err… right. That's a yes if I've ever heard one.

            I moved towards Hiei as thundering up the stairs and another screech ensued. Yusuke and Kuwabara looked as lost as hell, but they always looked like that so it was no groundbreaking news.

           
            I stopped in front of him, and waited to hear footsteps outside my door. When it was obvious the predator was near, I leaned forward and once again, kissed Hiei.

            Mmm… what's he doing with his tongue?

            Oh.

            Hiei lurched forward and pushed me onto the bed, straddling my hips. He bared a fang at me and leaned forward to bite my neck. Once he had marked me, he started trailing kisses up and down my neck, paying special attention to my ticklish spots.

            Since when has Hiei been able to reduce me to a moaning, incoherent puddle of goo?

            On second thought, don't answer that.

            "Eww! That is, like, so gross! EWW!"

            Hiei pulled away because we had made our point, Kuwabara's eyes bugged out at the site of such a "pretty" girl (which meant he stopped sending "you're-going-to-Hell! looks at Hiei and I), and Yusuke just looked lost.

            I was still in Hiei-Land.

            "It is my job now to turn you straight! And under, like, my influence, who could resist?" Akira shouted, complete with the haywire sparkles in her eyes.

            No more Hiei-Land. What happened to Hiei-Land? I wanna go ba~ck!

            That was when I really realized that Akira was here when she shouldn't have been.

            "If you'll excuse me, I need to go downstairs and have a… talk with 'Kaasan and Hatanaka-san." I think I was grinning demonically. But that should be expected, as I'm a demon.

            I think Hiei just edged away from me.

            I was p-i-s-s-e-d! (I can spell too!) It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out why Akira was here. Her little speech about turning me straight (and yes, I did hear it) was fed to her by her father.

            Crikey! We've spotted the elusive 'Kaasan and Hatanaka-san! These creatures ahre usually passive and cahlm creatu-

            … Right.

            "Yes, Shuuichi?" 'Kaasan asked serenely. She was sitting in her chair, reading a book. Looking waaay too innocent.

            "Err… Why is Akira here?" I blurted out. So much for the sly and suave way I was supposed to do it.

            Stepfather jumped right in. "Well, we, Tachikawa-san and I, thought you could use some quality time with your fiancé."

            "Oh," I answered eloquently. … "And why is she still my fiancé?"

            "Because you don't really love that black-haired friend of yours." Hatanaka-san stated.

            Okay. Dude, you just went over the line. Seriously.

            "Uh-huh, right, and I'm a fox demon inhabiting a human body so I can fight crime with all of my friends."

            Oh, wait, that's true, isn't it?

            "You didn't even invite him to you birthday par- male-bonding night. You would've invited him if you "loved" him," he told me.

            Mother, why are you just sitting there, smiling at us and staring?

            Oh, you're a cardboard cutout.

            "That's not true! I just got done making out with him! See?" I showed him the mark on my neck.

            Okay, not the best action to take. Now I have a green stepfather… Hey, I bet I could make money off him now! The astounding green man!

            …

            "… Just go and join your party," he gurgled.

            I'm not one to disobey authority. So I complied.

            Lookie! Kuwawbara is hitting on Akira! Yusuke is teasing Hiei and sticking bows all over him!

            … Oi. Tonight's going to be a long night.  

[1] = It's a color in graphics programs. Bright, bright red. I just couldn't resist putting it in… 

[2] = In reference to the game Super Smash Bros. Melee.  

Yay! Another chapter done! An~d, I've reached 100 reviews!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Which means a special side ficu that I'll do! Beware the sap!

Next chapter: The mystery of the cardboard cutout, Kurama opens his gifts, and just general mayhem and torture. Fluff, too. But I bet you already knew that.