Dangerous Company by Ianar

Just a light-hearted little ficlet I wrote, partly to show that I do indeed write. Pre-quest. Please r and r, I'd LOVE feedback! NO SLASH, SEX, FOUL LANGUAGE, etc. involved

A/N: While I wrote most of the characters a lot like the movie, Pippin is written like he appears in the books because that version just worked best for this ficlet and cracks me up. So PLEASE don't shoot me for writing him weird, 'cause I really didn't.

Much thanks to my family, and esp. KaliMacNeish and the spinner of tales for helping Beta this.

This ficlet was written for KaliMacNeish as a going-away present for an adventuring journey.

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"Sam," Frodo interjected as he surveyed the gathering mountain of luggage on his lawn. "Do you really think we'll need all of this? It looks as if you've packed us for a good couple of weeks!"

"Well, you never know Mister Frodo," Sam defended stoutly from behind yet another packed bundle. "And there's plenty here that we just might be needin'. 'There's no harm in being prepared' as my Old Gaffer used to say, and there isn't either." Here he set down the load before adding, "leastwise, not the way I see it."

Frodo laughed, but before he could respond, Pippin's voice rang out clearly from somewhere on the other side of the mound. "Frodo! Frodo are you in here somewhere? Really Merry, I could have sworn Bag End was on the only hill near Hobbiton, it should be around here somewhere."

Merry's head peered around the corner. "Hullo Frodo!"

"There you are Frodo!" Pippin exclaimed in triumph, appearing suddenly at the top of the largest pile. "Well, hello there Sam," he added, belatedly catching sight of Sam who was less than pleased to see his neat packing so ill-treated. But Pippin seemed to take no notice as he settled himself on top of the pile and began addressing Frodo. "But see here cousin, you really ought to let Merry and I know when you're planning for a month's-long adventure. We've only packed for a couple of days and are now at a most severe disadvantage."

"Honestly Frodo," Merry scolded in a parenting tone. "At your age, a hobbit really should be more responsible!"

"Imagine," Pippin declared indignantly, standing and posing as if for some grand speech. "Leaving your innocent little cousins so terribly misinformed and unprepared? Why it's indecent!" Imitating a bit of Merry's parental air, he continued, "I don't know what we're going to do with him. What do you say, Merry?"

At this last affront, Sam went from annoyance to outright indignation, "Now Mr. Pippin! That's no right way to go talking about your--"

"It's alright, Sam," Frodo interrupted reassuringly.

Sam looked at Frodo in surprise, his protest dying as he realized Frodo was actually enjoying all of this! Muttering something about Tooks and Brandybucks in general, Sam leaned resignedly back against a pile.

Merry, however, carried on with absolutely no indication that he'd heard Sam's outburst, but played his act of mock authority to it's fullest. "Well I'd say that since it's obvious that our dear cousin meant to go on without us," here Merry had to raise his voice to be heard over even Frodo's protests, "the fittest thing would be to follow him wherever he goes, and not permit him to leave without our accompaniment!" Here the Brandybuck grinned with such an overconfident matter-of-factness that even Sam had to smile at the foolishness of it all.

"A wondrous plan, o wise Meriadoc!" crowed Pippin delightedly. "There you are, Frodo! You should have known you couldn't be so easily rid of us!"

"Well, I guess we've been found out, Sam," Frodo laughed, hands out in mock surrender.

"I reckon so Mr. Frodo," said Sam, beginning to catch on.

Merry, who's attention had turned immediately from expert advice to rummaging through the 'endless' bundles, now let out an exasperated cry. "Sam, where HAVE you packed the food? It doesn't seem to be anywhere."

"But Merry," Frodo teased, "surely you couldn't be hungry just yet? It's only half past nine!"

"And high time for second breakfast, as if you had forgotten."

Now Pippin, having finished a more thorough, but just as fruitless, perusal of Sam's packing, tried another tactic. "Surely Frodo, after almost wronging your poor, innocent young cousins, even you couldn't be so cruel as to starve them too!" Merry tried to make himself look as pitiful as possible.

"Oh, I don't know," said Frodo, the grin on his face belying the doubt in his tone. "What do you think, Sam? Should we feed these two young rascals?"

"Well," began Sam hesitantly, studying the ground. "I don't rightly know. My Old Gaffer used to always say that a good meal ought to be rightly earned and," here he gave a nod to Merry and Pippin. "No offense meant, but, seeing as how Mr. Merry and Mr. Pippin haven't as yet done their share, so to speak, that it just don't seem fair to be feedin' 'em just yet."

Sam finally looked up and couldn't help but smile at the effect of his words. Merry (for once) appeared to be at a complete loss for words, and Pippin looked positively horrified. Frodo, however, was amazingly calm.

"All the same," continued Sam unhurriedly. "I s'pose it wouldn't hurt to go ahead an' feed 'em first. As my Old Gaffer used to say oftener than not, 'it's mighty hard to be workin' on a empty stomach' an' I figure he knew as what he was sayin', if you take my meaning. I--"

But Sam got no further before he was interrupted by a very relieved Pippin, "Why Sam! You rascal, giving us such a scare as that! Here poor Merry and I were thinking you were such a good-hearted honest fellow and you go and lead us on like that." Pip turned to Merry, shaking his head, "I don't know Merry, it's dangerous company at Bag End these days!"