Authors Note I appologize for my updates taking so long. Instead of writing I've actually been attempting to work at my job, I know, What a Concept! So I hope you enjoy the twists and turns and all that crap. I appologize for any mistakes, spelling or otherwise, as soon as I can I will be editing this, I just haven't had a chance. As always your reviews keep me writing, so if you stop reviewing, I don't think any one is reading my story, so I stop writing it. I've got 2 other stories up, my AltU Buffy Season 7 'From Beneath You It Devours' and my historical Angelus, Darla, Dru and Spike story 'Arkhangelsk' so if you get the time check them out and let meknow what you think. Again, I read and review people who do the same for me, so think of it like a 'I'll show you mine if you show me yours' sort of thing (how Anya of me). Thanks for your patience!! -Adrianna
Buffy and Spike were the last to get back to the hotel. Wesley and Giles filled everyone in on what they found out relating the Camille-Varian to the dark elves. Gunn and Faith had no luck, as did no one else, finding anything out about their new enemies.
"This is just like Lord of the Rings." Andrew whispered to Xander.
"Yeah, well I am definately Aragon."
"Um, no, Aragon has two eyes, you can be Gimli."
"The dwarf? Whatever." Xander huffed.
"So do we know how to stop the evil elves?" Buffy asked and then began laughing, "Sorry, I mean evil elves, who besides me is imagining Santa's little helpers?"
"With their little pointy shoes and hats with bells on?" Willow gleefully added, only being met with stares, "What? So a Jewish girl can't have seen Santa's elves at the mall? Sheesh."
"Buffy these are dark elves, they seem to prefer to send out their army rather than do the work themselves, so they will be very difficult to defeat, especially if they can continually refuel the army with more soldiers. Plus those soldiers we do manage to destroy may ultimately just return two or three-fold. This is not as simple as it appears." Giles was trying to keep them on track.
"That's what you said about the Hellmouth, and look we closed that for good, so I can't imagine a few elves will be that difficult to defeat."
"You don't understand Buffy, we can't just defeat their army, we have to destroy all of them, which as history has shown, may be incredibly difficult. From what we know even the vampire Crusaders couldn't wipe them out, nor could the light elves, both groups being supernaturally strong, and having information provided to them by the traitors." Wesley added.
"So we find the info, rally the troops and take care of it, you make this sound impossible, and let's face it, you're talking to a girl who has been dead twice, blown up a high school and closed a hellmouth. This can't be that bad."
"Well, it is. We found vague refrences to the information the traitors carried with them, and it seems that defeating them won't be as easy as we had hoped. Technically speaking they are indestructible, as we will never be able to actually get to all of the elders. What it seems the light elves and vampires were doing was looking for a way to bind all of the dark elves and then to transport them dimensionally to someplace that isn't here."
"Well, I can bind them, that's simple enough, it's no scythe power transferrance spell, but I'll settle to go back to the classics." Willow said.
"That wasn't the problem for them either, it was the dimensional portal."
"We can open a portal, we've done it lots." Fred said.
"Yeah Wes, you know this. We just call up Lorne's friend, find us a hot spot, speak some vowel-less words and ta-da! Portal to another dimension."
"Yes Gunn, I am quite aware of that, but the problem is getting them into the portal. We know how fickle hot spots are, the chances that they are sitting on one are slim to none, so we will have to lure them in, and that won't be easy."
"Well can't we just bait them? Evil things always take the bait." Faith asked.
"What would we bait them with? It would have to be exceptional to get one of the actual dark elves to come out of hiding. What would they want?"
"Speaking as a formal evil super power," Andrew started, "I know I was in it for money, slave girls, world domination, and a complete set of original late seventies Star Wars action figures."
"Well, I doubt Luke Skywalker will be enticing enough." Xander laughed.
"I was just trying to help, I mean its not like we exactly have evil's opinion sitting around here." Andrew rolled his eyes. Then noticed the disgruntled looks around him, "Well except Spike and Angel were evil vampires for over a century, and Willow went all Darth Rosenberg two years ago, and from the looks I'm getting I'll just shut up now cos apparently this is like the Evil Anonymous meeting."
"Thank you Andrew for that insightful if not useless information." Giles cleaned his glasses, "We have come up with a few possibilities of ways to work on this. First it seems that the two traitor elves may still be out there. Angel we would like to search the Wolfram and Hart databases to see if we have any rogue elves on file, also we would like to get in contact with the light elves and see if they know of their dark counterparts whereabouts. We figure it may be worth it for the Camille-Varian to come out to retrieve and punish them. Alternately we may be able to bind the others to one of these elves, and if we send him through the portal the rest may end up joining him due to mystical binds. We are also trying to find out if there are any records of what the Master knew about them. They seem very interested in Angel because of his Aurelian ties, perhaps they believe that he knows something threatening to them."
"Okay so possibility number one, we try to lure them out with the promise of torturing their own kind. What's option number two?"
"We use Angel as bait and try to lure them to a portal area in time to throw them in." Wesley said far to rapidly for anyone to understand.
"What? You're going to use me as the bait?" Angel exclaimed.
"What? You could understand him?" Buffy asked.
"Angel, this is only a final, distant, very distant option, did we mention the traitor elves?"
"You know if I didn't know any better, I'd think the Powers were out to get me." Angel said.
"They are not out to get you Mr. Tall Dark and Broody, do you think they want to spend eternity with you and Barry Manilow?" A voice only a few recognized asked.
"Shut up Anya." Xander said mindlessly.
"Sure, they send you back from Hell and everyone acts like its nothing!"
"Anya?" Xander turned to her, stunned.
"Yes, it is me. Lilah had a prior engagement, and so she sent me."
"How can she send you?"
"Oh, all vengeance demons were sub-contractors for your newly aquired evil empire. We all had contracts, you really should get in better contact with Files and Records."
"Who's that?" Gunn asked Andrew.
"That's Anya, she was a demon who turned human, fell in love with Xander and then returned to her demon ways after her jilted her at the altar, then she gave up her demon ways once again to help us close the hellmouth, she's perfect." He answered with a dreamy look.
"Anya?" Xander asked again.
"Are you blind?" Anya asked, "I mean in both eyes, not just the one."
"No, I-I-I Just can't believe it's you."
"Well here let me tell everyone a very personal and embarassing moment from our sexual lives together to assure you it is me."
"On second thought, it is you." Xander said quickly attempting to stop her.
"Whatever, I was supposed to come up here and find out how your transition is going."
"You look really good." Andrew said.
"Thank you, look, you survived! Glad to know this hole in my side was for nothing!" Anya lifted her shirt to show the large red scar where the bringers knife had entered her, "Back to business people, it's not like I have an eternity up here."
"So what's the deal? Lilah usually comes to tell us something, or at least quip about hell."
"Well, I am supposed to tell Xander that the firm has an apointment for him at this address," she handed Xander a piece of paper, "and he has to be there at 8 am tomorrow. Now that means no hitting the snooze button 'til a minute before you have to be somewhere, this is important, be there on time."
"But what is this about?" Xander asked. "You expect me to go to an address forwarded to me from hell?"
"Yes, I do. Xander Harris, you know I wouldn't send you somewhere if I didn't think you would survive."
"Somehow, that's not nearly as comforting a thought as it should be." Xander smiled.
"On to other things. Charles, you are to go with Xander, I was told you would understand, cos the obcenely large cat told you about this. To which I asked if you had mental instability, Lilah assured me this was not a concern."
"You talked to a large cat?" Xander asked as he turned to Gunn.
"Yeah, it's not as weird as it sounds man, trust me."
"I should probably be going, there is a karaoke competition this afternoon, and I would like to win."
"You know hell sounds more like some sort of retirement home than actual hell."
"Oh well our hell dimension in a sense is just one really big Wolfram and Hart retirement home for the formerly evil."
"Formerly?"
"Well on this earthly plane they were evil, but in hell we don't like to use terms like 'evil' we prefer to use 'morally challenged.'"
"I can't even believe this." Gunn was shaking his head.
"I'm off, but you may want to take another look at that scroll, and oh yeah Willow, Spike, congrats!"
"Why are you congratulating us?" Willow asked tentatively.
"Well you have both ascended to a higher plane, and for this you should both be congratulated, perhaps with vigourous hand shaking or maybe even with monetary supplementation." Anya responded and telported out.
"What does she mean ascended? Like the Mayor? Will there be snakes involved?" Willow asked Giles looking rather concerned.
"No, Willow, I think I know what she means. Would you and Spike mind doing something for me?"
"'pends on what you are suggesting." Spike answered.
"I would like you to join hands and concentrate on the other."
"O-kay" Willow said as she took Spike's hands in her own, staring into his eyes, and him doing the same.
As they did this they began to levitate. A white, glowing orb developed around them, and tiny bolts of lightning streamed from the orb into them. Willow's hair went white, as did Spike's. They broke their gaze on each other to realize they were floating above the group. Spike could hear Willow clear as day although her mouth didn't move.
Holy Crap Holy Crap Holy Crap Holy Crap
Willow can you hear me?
Yeah Spike, I can hear you, Holy Crap Holy Crap Holy Crap
Calm down, lets just think rationally, we got ourselves up here we can get ourselves down right?
Sure cos it's every day I levitate!
Lets see if we can move. Think about going right
Who's right? My right or your right?
Didn't think about that, hmm lets go with your right As they thought about it, they went right.
Is it me or is this really cool once you get through the whole 'I can't believe I'm levitating' thing?
This is very cool. Red, you should consider bleaching your hair, it's really quite fetching in platinum.
Hey you're all blonde again too! This is neat!
Willow, I think we should think about heading back down, It appears that the lot of them have turned into fly catchers.
Yeah, okay lets do it.
They slowly lowered back to the ground, and released their hands. As they did the bubble around them burst sending a wave of energy out to their surrounding friends. The energy didn't knock any of them down, instead it was absorbed by them.
"Did you feel that?" Gunn asked.
"Whoa, that's messed. I feel all juiced up." Faith replied.
"Bloody hell." Giles said.
"Giles what just happened?" Buffy asked.
"They've ascended."
"Uh huh cos that means nothing to me other than large-snake-Mayor."
"Willow is a Goddess, and Spike therefore a God."
"He's a god? This is just unbelieveable! Could the Powers do anything else to ruin my week?" Angel asked the ceiling.
"No, this fares well for you Angel, it means he didn't really fulfill the prophecy. He's a God in human form." Wesley realized.
"Why didn't Whistler mention this? He told us about what Spike was, about the visions and saving Cordy and all that." Faith said.
"He actually didn't tell us what Spike was, she only told us that he carried Cordelia's visions and was more than human."
"But, I'm going to age and die, Mr. Rat pack assured us of this."
"Gods and Goddesses in this dimension age and die like the humans whose form they take. Remember Glory? She was sent here to age and die. She maintained her powers, but was still human, more than human, but still the intent was she was sent here to age and die."
"Spike I understand, being brought back all magickally, but what about me? Why me? Don't they know I have evil tendancies?"
"I think it may have happened when you used the scythe to spread the power of the slayer."
"You looked like one of the Watcher Watchers." Buffy said.
"What?"
"The Guardian, I think she called herself, she was all white haired and ancient, and she said that women like her had made the scythe. Remember? Maybe somehow they put something of themselves in that scythe and when you released its power it ascended you to be like them. Cos when you were floating you really looked like that guardian chick, maybe you are like super-guardian."
"My Buffy, that was," Giles paused, "Very possibly one of the most accurate ideas you've ever had. Perhaps when the last guardian was killed by Caleb, somehow the power was transferred to the scythe, so that when it was tapped, a new guardian was forged."
"A new guardian to watch the new Watchers to make sure all those slayers stay safe n' sound."
"Exactly Faith. Perhaps the Guardian was tied to the Powers, and when the slayer line was guaranteed they needed to assure that there would still be guardians on this plane to protect them. Perhaps that woman had been a goddess as well."
"She didn't act like one, she didn't even know Caleb was there, and she didn't fight him or anything."
"Unlike Glory Buffy, most Goddesses are pacifists, they prefer to not get involved."
"So this means that the prophecy is still mine?" Angel asked eagerly.
"I suppose it is." Wesley responded.
A huge smile passed over Angel's lips. "You know Angel, you're pretty hot when you get all happy." Faith said
"Just as long as this isn't one of those pesky evil turning moments of happiness." Xander added. Angel quickly passed back into his usual stoic look.
"Don't worry the soul is safe, it was just nice to not have everything go poorly for me."
"Now maybe Peaches will get rid of that seething distaste for me."
"Spike, that will never go away." Angel quipped back.
"She also mentioned the scroll." Andrew said.
"What?"
"Anya, she said something about the scroll, how we need to look at it or something. Was I the only one mesmerized by, I mean listening to her?"
"Yes, he is quite right, she did mention that. Andrew how is your Proto-Bantu?" Giles recalled.
"The language? Oh, I'm like brilliant with Proto-Bantu, I'm like Proto-Bantu for dummies."
"Good, I will need you to help me out with the scroll, we have been having some difficulty with it."
"Yes Obi Wan."
"Bloody Hell" was all Giles could say as he shook his head in near agony at the thought of working with Andrew. Having nothing else to do the group once again went their seperate way, with Angel, Wesley and Fred returning to Wolfram and Hart for further investigation. Lorne, feeling useless, also headed into work hoping to put his skills to actual use. Faith, Gunn and Buffy headed down to the work-out room to train for a while, it was strange for both girls to be working with a very much alive man. Spike went upstairs to put away his things, Willow went up to take a nap, being a goddess takes a lot out of a girl.