Chapter 3: Reading Emotions like Tea Leaves

When Ron walked back to the castle with Hermione – the two back to being just friends, really good friends – he couldn't believe how free he felt. It was as if he'd spent the first part of his sixth year being tortured inside the prison of his own mind. But now that Hermione knew, knew and had given him her blessing to pursue the boy he loved, he could see the sun shining through the bars of his cell window, and he had hope that there might be a secret passageway out. Although his secret was known by only one person, it made all the difference to him in the world.

And Hermione was convinced that Ron's next step should be to tell Harry, an idea that still made Ron nervous. He didn't see how it could be as simple as all that.

"I mean, really, Hermione," he said to her in a hushed voice so that no one could hear, "I can't very well just walk up to Harry and say, 'Hey, mate, thought you should know, I'm queer. And I figured that you probably are too, which would be bloody fantastic, seeing as I'm in love with you. Wanna go snog in the Astronomy Tower?'" Despite his sardonic tone, he immediately shivered a bit at the idea of kissing Harry. That part didn't sound so bad.

"Are you really?" Hermione whispered, stopping in her tracks – a reaction that made Ron surer than ever that she'd gone crazy.

"Am I going to say all that to Harry? Of course not, I was being sarcastic!"

"No, you moron, I meant – are you really in love with him?"

Ron's face flushed for about the tenth time that afternoon.

"Oh, c'mon, don't be embarrassed!" Hermione smiled, patting his arm. "I just didn't know that it was quite like that – I thought maybe it was just a crush. But you're really in love with him? That's so sweet!"

"Well, at first I thought it was just a crush, too," Ron admitted. "Or just physical attraction, or even a weird hormonal phase. But..."

And he related to her the incident involving Sirius' mirror and the hug that had happened at the end of the summer, making Hermione exclaim, "Oh, so that's what he was talking about!"

"What, he told you about it?" Ron cried. "Did he say what he thought about...you know, the hug and all?"

"No, just that you two had had a fight but you'd resolved it."

Ron looked disappointed, but continued, "Well, after that, I spent a lot of time thinking about all the stuff we'd been through together, and everything I knew about him – both the good and the bad, you know...and I guess I figured out that it couldn't be just a crush, it was..."

He almost couldn't bring himself to say the four-letter word again. Its one syllable was so heavy, weighted with so much meaning. It was not a word he would ever take lightly or throw around. But he meant it now, meant it with everything he had.

"I know how I feel," he finished off simply. "I just...I know it's nothing compared to how great I would feel if he felt the same way about me."

"That's the sweetest, most insightful thing I've ever heard you say, Ron Weasley," Hermione said, her voice full of admiration. Then, the analytical side of her taking over again, she continued, "But now see what you mean. Now I know how you really feel about him, we have to go about this very carefully. There's a certain way we should approach this, but what is it?..."

"If you're going to suggest the library, stop it right there," Ron interrupted. "I don't think we're going to find any books with titles like, 'How to Seduce Your Possibly Straight Best Friend: A Guide for Gay Wizards.' Well, except maybe in the Restricted Section."

Hermione hit him playfully on the arm and Ron smirked at her. Even when Hermione was playing matchmaker, she was so serious, almost academic, about it. He was damn lucky that he had her, of all people, to support and encourage him right now.

Just as Ron was thinking this, they entered the Great Hall, where Hogwarts students were starting to fill the seats for dinner...and he came into view. The only one Ron's eyes saw in a crowded room. Harry came striding towards them, a look of worry creasing his beautiful face. Could there be more behind that worry than feelings of friendship? Ron wished he could tell.

"Look who I finally found, Harry," said Hermione before the dark- haired boy had a chance to say a word.

"Well, I'm glad it was a Weasley after all," Harry said, breaking into one of those dazzling grins that was like a gunshot going off to send Ron's heart racing. It beat even faster when Harry put his arm around Ron's shoulders as he said, "Mate, I'm glad you care so much about beating Slytherin, but next time you should invite me to practice Quidditch with you. You gave us a bit of scare by disappearing like that."

"Sorry, Harry," Ron apologized, trying to keep up his appearance of being calm and casual has he smiled back. "I reckon I've learned my lesson, 'cos 'Mione read me the riot act for skipping classes."

"Oh, I let you off easy," Hermione sniffed. Then she turned back to Harry and said, "Luckily, Ron and I got a chance to talk. We...decided not to be a couple anymore."

"Really?" Harry's thick, dark eyebrows shot up. "Not to sound rude or nosy or anything, but what happened?"

"Well...we just agreed that friendship was the best form our relationship could take," Hermione replied solemnly. "Don't you think so, Harry?"

Ron knew that she was being intentionally vague, and attempting to test Harry in the hopes that his response would betray how he felt about Hermione and Ron no longer being together – and consequently how he felt about Ron, in particular, being single. But, frustratingly, Harry's response was as difficult as tea leaves to read.

"If it's what you want, and neither one of you is hurt, then that's all I care about. Honestly, when you two started going out, I was afraid that if it didn't work out then you might end up hating one another. And Merlin knows there have been enough spats between us through the years." He paused, and then said jovially, "C'mon, let's get dinner, I'm famished."

As Harry turned on his heel and led the way toward the Gryffindor tables, Ron whispered to Hermione,

"What in the bloody hell am I supposed to make of that?"

Hermione shrugged, and whispered back, "I'm not sure. He said he wanted you to invite him to practice Quidditch with you, though. Maybe you can use that as an opportunity to talk to him about all this."

Ron knew that he would soon get tired of trying to guess how Harry felt about him instead of knowing for certain, especially since Harry was being uncharacteristically ambiguous. With a surge of determination, he decided that he was going to put his unanswered questions to rest if it killed him. It couldn't be any worse than all the misery that he'd been going through for the past few months, after all.