Chapter 2: Giving up on hope
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of my so-called life
I sat down at my regular seat in the middle row. Jordan was three seats to the left of me. I usually caught him glancing at me occasionally but he'd try to play it off as though he was looking at Cheri Banks the most richest and snobbiest girl in our high school. "Hello students I am your substitute teacher Mr. Landings. Well your teacher didn't leave you guys any work to do so just have friendly conversations between all of you. If it gets to loud you'll all be writing me a 300-word essay on what is the meaning of listening." Mr. Landings looked pretty tough and harsh. I opened my notebook and scribbled some notes down in my notebook. I felt someone over my shoulder and turned to find him. "Hey." I stuttered. "Hey. What's that you got there?" Jordan asked looking at my notebook. I shut it and looked completely embarrassed. "Oh nothing important." I said twirling my hair on my finger. " Hey Catalano!" his friends signaled him over to the door. He looked down at me one last time and left the class with his friends. I sighed and got back to writing in my notebook.
"What were you doing in there?" Jordan's friend Christian asked. "I wasn't doing nothing why?" Jordan asked confused. "You were talking with that nerdy chick. Jordan that chick could ruin your reputation." Christian looked at Angela and laughed. "She's obsessed man!" His other friend Landon laughed as well. "Man I wasn't really talking, talking with her. I was asking for some English notes. I know better don't you think?" Jordan laughed. But deep down he knew that Angela wasn't what his friends described her as. She was better than that. Too bad he couldn't tell them that.
"Hey Angela you're here on time for once." My math teacher said sarcastically. "I had nothing better to do." I hissed and plopped into my seat. I felt the tears burning my eyes. I knew I wouldn't be good enough for Jordan. It hurt really badly because I knew what his dumb friends thought about me and I know that he agrees with those bastards. I just wish that everything didn't have to fall to pieces. Ricky had passed me a note. I didn't notice until like 5 minutes later. I read it to myself: "Hey Ang, what's with the face? I talked with Nick during biochemistry and he said yes!! So have you talked with Jordan?" I looked at him and sighed I mouthed the word no. He looked so concerned but I didn't want to be pampered with these concerned thoughts of Jordan and me. I just wanted to ball up in a corner and cry.
I saw him looking at me in the hallway. I want to know how can a guy make you hate him then love him? Does it even make sense? It's so stupid and confusing. I can't handle it I'm so unable. Rayane walked up behind me and looked at me. "So… how's it going?" She knew something was definitely up between Jordan and me. "Rayane have you ever hated a guy so much yet you begin to love him again? Is that really possible?" I asked turning away from Jordan's gaze. "Um…well no. It means you really never hated him. Your confused Angela and I can comprehend what your feeling. Jordan is a pain the butt and he's so…not down to Earth. He's always in another world Angela. If I were you I'd just give up. You can't wait for him forever." Rayane usually spoke the truth. I need to let him go. Seriously.
"Angela wait!" I turned and saw Jordan. He slowed down and walked up to me. I looked away from him. "So… how are you?" He asked shuffling his feet. "You stop me to ask me this?" I thought in my mind. "I'm fine and you?" I asked the anger boiling within me. "I'm doing pretty good." He smiled. "Look answer me this honestly. What do your friends think of me?" I couldn't hold it in anymore. Jordan looked away ashamed. "Are you going to answer me?" I wanted to know then and there. "Angela…" Jordan tried to ease his way out of the conversation but I wasn't going to be fooled. "Stop and just be honest. What do they think of me?" I was getting tired of playing these stupid mind games. "Fine they think you're a nerd and lower class and that I shouldn't even be wasting my time talking with you." Jordan grew angry. I knew he hated when people tried to pull things out of him but I needed to hear it. "I'm…" I turned away before he spoke. I didn't want him to see me cry. He grabbed my arm and turned me around to look at him. "Please stop." The tears were burning and I felt like dying. "Angela please… I never really wanted to tell you." Jordan finally said something meaningful. But today I didn't want to hear it. "Look stick to what your friends say okay. I'm just a nerdy chick that'll ruin your reputation." I pulled away from his grasp and left running. Leaving him behind hurt me like a million daggers stabbing at my heart but I couldn't be treated this way anymore. It hurt way too much.
A/N: Enjoyed? I really thought that if I showed a piece of Jordan's sensitive side it'd be really nice. Well keep reading k?