For starters, if you are so inclined, you may want to re-read the previous
chapters so you won't be confused. There are a flashbacks to Boomerang 2
and Lifeline and the dialogue there is JAG's. Please don't sue I just
wanted the flashbacks accurate. And I don't remember if they were on a
boat or bridge so if it is a mistake please forgive. And please review
good or bad. Thanks.
"Thanks, Mom." Harm says as he sips his coffee.
"For what, honey?" She asks squeezing his hand.
"For being here and sending Sturgis after me, you knew right where I would be."
Trish smiles, "You were out rather late."
"We played pool and had a couple drinks. We were reminiscing about our Academy days; it was nice—for a while."
His smile fades as he continues. "I also appreciate you taking care of all those people, especially Renee. I feel awful about hurting her like this."
"Sometimes no matter how much we try, hurting someone's feelings is unavoidable."
"I did plenty of that last night. Damn this amnesia!" He says throwing his napkin on the table. "How do I get my life back?"
Trish looks Harm straight in the eyes.
"You were not intentionally trying to hurt Mac or Renee. This must be so difficult to do but be patient. You just got out of the hospital yesterday." Trish responds, attempting to ease her son's anxiety.
Harm sighs deeply, "Sturgis told me what the admiral had explained to him about Colonel Mackenzie. He was shocked too. She could be Dianne's twin."
"The resemblance is really astounding." Trish replies returning back to her meal.
"When I held her there was something..." Harm says softly more to himself than anything else.
"Something..." Trish asks.
Harm feels a little awkward but realizing that he needs to start somewhere, he elaborates.
"Something different and yet familiar, and knowing that it wasn't Dianne makes sense to me now. At first, I obviously thought she was Dianne. Yet, as I held her and felt her response to me, it was different. I can't explain it."
Trish could not help but smile to herself. This just re-affirms what she has believed all along, Mac is definitely the key to bringing Harm back.
"Are you going into the office today?" Trish asks.
"Sturgis asked me to come by and go to lunch. He still doesn't know many people so he said it would help him and it could also help me, maybe trigger something."
"Sounds like a good idea."
"Let's hope so."
It was Mac's intention not to go back to JAG until after she returned from her honeymoon, but when the Admiral calls you at home telling you to there is an appeal pending on one of your cases, how can one refuse.
Mac got off the elevator and went straight to the Admiral's office.
"Hello, Ma'am." Tiner stands greeting Mac, "You may go right in the Admiral is waiting for you."
"Thank you, Petty Officer."
Mac walks in and stands at attention if front of the Admiral's desk.
"At ease Colonel. I am sorry to have to call you but I just got notice of this first thing this morning."
"It's not a problem sir. Which case is it?"
"The Wallace case. Apparently, he has hired a civilian attorney and is claiming that he did not receive adequate representation citing improper conduct regarding the sharing of information between the defensive and prosecution. I am fully persuaded this is just a ploy on the part of the civilian attorney to get the verdict vacated and a new court marshal. Nonetheless, we have to get official statements from you and Commander Rabb and all the proper documentation for review of the case."
At the mention of Harm's name Mac tenses up a bit.
"How will Commander Rabb's current condition affect the process?"
"We will just have to submit medical documentation and keep all players informed to any changes that may occur."
"I will get to work right away Admiral. Is there anything else sir?"
"About the other night at the Commander's apartment..."
Mac did not want to discuss it really but her sudden departure needed some kind of explanation.
"It was briefly disconcerting but I'm fine sir."
AJ knew there was more to it than that but he respects his people's privacy and tries to stay out of their personal matters as much as possible.
"Very well Colonel dismissed."
"Aye, aye sir."
Harm walks into the bullpen hoping that something will seem familiar to him yet, to no avail.
'What are you expecting Rabb, a bolt of lighting or something.' He chastises himself.
Harriet sees him right away and walks up to speak to him. "Hello Commander."
"Lieutenant Sims." Harm smiles.
Harriet cannot help feel a little sad. Harm usually calls her by her first name.
"Is there something I can help you with?"
"Yes, actually there is. I am here to have lunch with Commander Turner."
"Well he is still in a meeting right now sir."
"Could you show me to his office so I can wait for him?"
"Yes sir I could, but how about I take you to your office?" Harriet suggests.
Harm is still a little uncomfortable with all of this but he agrees and follows Harriet to his office.
"I will direct Commander Turner here when he is finished."
"Thank you Lieutenant."
Harm stands there soaking in his surroundings. He examines the room beginning with the diplomas hanging on the wall. He reads his name and strains to place himself at graduation-- nothing.
On a shelf underneath the diplomas, sits a model biplane.
'This is the only object that remotely makes sense to me in this room.' He thinks as he picks it up taking a closer look. Although having a model plane in his office makes perfect sense, he cannot place where or whom it came from.
As he repositions the model plane on the shelf, a photograph catches his eye. It is he and Mac and they are wearing formal attire. They were unaware of the presence of the camera, laughing with one another. Harm has his hand on the small of her back; her head tilts toward him, she is smiling with her hand resting on his shoulder.
"Who am I and how did I get here?" He asks aloud.
"Lieutenant Commander Harmon Rabb Jr., pilot and attorney extraordinaire, with the ego to match."
A sarcastic and teasing feminine voice calls from behind him.
He turns to face her.
"Some would say you are a ladies man with the propensity to attract annoying blonde types."
Mac walks all the way into his office and adds sincerely, "But most definitely a loyal and trusted friend."
"You seem to know a lot about me." Harm replies.
"We have been colleagues and friends for sometime. We can be very competitive with one another in and out of the courtroom. Yet when push comes to shove, we always back the other up."
"Like when you went with me to Russia?" Harm asks.
Mac's heart beat speeds up a little.
"You remember that?" She asks hopefully.
"No, I'm afraid not. My mother told me about it though." Harm replies regretfully.
"Of course." Mac's heart sinks.
"Colonel Mackenzie...." Harm starts.
"Please Harm, call me Mac."
"Mac, I want to apologize for the other night. I didn't mean to..."
"Harm no apology is necessary. Actually I should apologize to you for running out like that."
"Why did you run away?"
Mac walks over to the window. "I just didn't know how to respond to what happened."
"I know that feeling."
Harm walks over and stands next to her. Mac turns to look at him.
"Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure."
"Is there something ...." He hesitates not sure how to put it.
"Something?" She prompts.
"Something going on....between us?"
Mac blushes and is suddenly very uncomfortable. She turns and moves away.
"What makes you ask that?" She asks trying to be nonchalant.
Harm follows her, putting his hands on her shoulders, he turns her to face him again. He searches her eyes for the answer with a tender longing and uncertain familiarity.
The smell of his cologne and gentle curiosity start to hypnotize her weakening her defenses.
"Because when I held you in my arms I felt..."
"Hey buddy, are you ready?" Sturgis asks as he walks in.
With the spell broken, Mac moves away from Harm and starts to leave.
"I'm sorry Colonel did I interrupt something?" Sturgis asks a bit surprised and embarrassed.
"No. I have to get going anyway." Mac responds relieved by the interruption.
"Would you care to join us for lunch?" Strugis offers.
"Thanks, but some other time. I have some paper work to finish for the Admiral and then I have the final touches for the wedding to attend to; you're invited of course Commander."
"Thank you Colonel. And if I don't see you before, I will see you then."
"Have a good lunch." Mac says as she heads back to her office.
Harm stands there wondering about this unmistakable connection with this woman who is about to marry someone else.
"You want to tell me what was going on in here? It looked like I interrupted something pretty important." Sturgis says bringing Harm out of his thoughts.
"I wish I knew man, I wish I knew."
"That waitress was rather interested in you Sturgis." Harm wryly comments as they walk into the entrance of the mall.
"I'll let you know how it turns out." Sturgis replies as he stands reading the mall directory. "I wish I knew what kind of wedding gift to buy for the Colonel."
Sturgis's casual comment brings a somber mood over Harm's face.
Sturgis notices but does not say anything. They start walking again when suddenly Harm stops in front of a travel agency, staring intently at a brochure picturing the Sydney Opera House.
"Harm?" Sturgis calls, but Harm does not hear him. He is lost in thought.
Flashes of him and Mac on a bridge come to his mind.
"Harm!" Sturigs raises his voice shaking his shoulder, "Hey man, are you alright."
"Oh, uh, yeah I'm alright."
"You want to tell me where you were just now?"
"Australia, I think."
"Does that mean something is coming back to you?"
"I'm not sure...maybe."
"Good. You want to tell me about it?"
"Not yet."
"Ok. Well then, we had better hurry up. I need to get back to the office."
"Lead on."
That evening Harm and Trish had a good dinner talking and reminiscing about when he was a boy, the good and the bad. Again coming to why he had to stop flying and change his designator. Then the conversation came to Mac.
"I saw Mac today."
"Oh? Where?"
"At JAG headquarters when I went to have lunch with Sturgis."
"I thought she was on leave with the wedding and all."
"She is but apparently a case we worked on together is being appealed so she had to come in to do some paper work about it."
"How is your current condition going to affect this appeal?"
"The admiral said we would just provide them medical documentation about what has happened and when something changes we would keep all involved up to speed."
"So how did your visit to JAG go? Anything seem familiar to you?"
"Not really. It was a bit uncomfortable being there, knowing that is where I have been for many years, yet feeling completely out of place. Then Mac came in."
"And..." Trish asks hopefully.
"She was being playful and lighthearted. She told me that we were good friends always there for on another." Harm pauses.
"And I started feeling that...that connection again. I feel like there is more to our relationship that she let on."
"And...." Trish says again prompting him to continue.
"I asked her if there was something more between us."
"I have wondered that myself for sometime son. But you would always say you were just very good friends, or evade the issue altogether."
"Well she didn't really give me an answer. We were interrupted and she left rather quickly."
"Ahh. I see." Trish smiles to herself.
"Anything else happen?"
"Well nothing much, just when Sturgis and I were at the mall today I had a flash of me and Mac on a bridge and I think we were in Australia."
"Harm, that's great. You were in Australia with Mac trying a case."
"This isn't going to make sense, because it doesn't make sense to me. But I don't think that Mac should marry this Brumby guy."
"There's not much time. They are to be married day after tomorrow...and tomorrow is almost here." Trish says looking at the clock seeing it was almost midnight.
"I have no business telling her not to marry this man. Obviously, she must be in love with the guy or else she wouldn't be marrying him. Besides, what reason could I give her?" Harm answers agitatedly, his voice showing his frustration and weariness from a long day.
"Well, why don't you turn in. Maybe things will look better in the morning." "Sounds good, let me walk you to your car." Harm sees his mother to her car and gives her a kiss goodnight.
He lays in bed tossing and turning in a fitful sleep. As more images flashed though his mind.
Sleep is truly healing for the body. The images suddenly start to flow and Harm's sleep becomes more even.
It is a clear night. He and Mac are standing on a bridge.
"We're not in Washington. We're not even on the same continent." Mac begins.
"Location doesn't change who we are." Harm answers solemnly.
"Most men would disagree with you."
"I know. I disagree with myself sometimes too."
"You just can't let go, can you?"
"Not yet."
Mac searches his eyes. "You're just this way with me, aren't you?"
"Yeah, I'm only this way with you."
"I guess I should be flattered."
"You should....Sarah."
Harm sits up in bed rubbing his face and temples.
"Ahh Mac." He sighs heavily.
Mic whistles in the kitchen making breakfast. 'Just one more day and Sarah and I will be off on our honeymoon and on with the rest of our lives.'
"Breakfast is ready love." He calls to Mac who is still getting dressed.
"I'll be there in a minute." She answers.
As she stands in front of the mirror finishing up her makeup, putting on her jewelry, her mind drifts back to yesterday afternoon in Harm's office.
'I almost told him, had we not been interrupted, I would have told him how I feel. What a mistake that would have been, he still sees Dianne when he looks at me. It's his feelings for Dianne that he senses when we are together.' She convinces herself.
"Come on Sarah your omelet is getting cold."
Mac comes to the table and Mic kisses her on the cheek.
"Just the way you like it, with lots of cheese." He smiles pouring a glass of juice.
"Remember after breakfast you're out of here. I have a lot of girl stuff to do when Harriet and Chloe get here."
"Why didn't Chloe stay here with you last night?" Mic asks.
"I'm not sure. Something about a surprise and it would be easier to stay with Harriet. I am supposed to find out today."
"Well I have a few things I am going to do today as well. After all, this is my last day as a bachelor you know." Mic grins trying to bait her.
"I'm not worried. You wouldn't do anything that I wouldn't do." She smiles slyly in reply.
The doorbell cuts short their playfulness.
"That will be them." She says standing to answer the door.
"Hey, don't I get to finish my breakfast?"
"What's left to finish? Are you going to eat the plate too?"
The doorbell rings again. Mac opens the door and her countenance registers the surprise on her face.
"What is it love?" Mic asks coming to the door.
Mic's countenance changes as well, accompanied by a knot forming in his stomach.
"Harm, what are you doing here?" Mac asks motioning him to come in.
"Umm I just had a couple questions." He says a little hesitantly.
Mac following his lead, "Oh about the appeal right, come in."
"Hello Harm." Mic manages to get out. "How are things coming?"
"Slow. And since I'm not myself at the moment, Mac really is the only one who can help—you know with the appeal and all."
Mac knew what he meant. She just hoped that Mic didn't pick up on it.
"I don't have much time. Harriet and Chloe will be here any minute." Mac says trying to put Mic at ease.
"It shouldn't take long. I know you have a lot to do today."
"Well I'll be going then. I'll call you later." Mic says as he takes Mac in his arms giving her a proper kiss goodbye. Now Harm is the one with the knot forming in his stomach.
The door closes and awkwardness fills the room.
"So what do you need help with?" Mac breaks the silence.
"You know this isn't about the appeal." Harm says moving closer to her.
Mac side steps him and begins to clear the breakfast dishes.
"I thought as much." She acknowledges on her way into the kitchen.
Harm waits for her to come back and stands between her and the table. "About yesterday, before we were interrupted, you were going to answer my question."
Mac goes to the living room.
"Mac, why are you avoiding me?"
"Have you remembered anything or are you just on a fishing expedition?"
"A few flashbacks have come to me but not everything."
"Well then you tell me the answer to your question?"
"I don't know how to answer it. Everything is still out of place. I need to know what you think."
"You really want to know what I think." Mac replies matter of factly.
"That's why I'm here."
"I'm not Dianne."
Harm didn't expect that. "I know that the other night I thought you were Dianne...."
She couldn't let him finish, she didn't want to take the chance of losing her resolve.
"These uncertain feelings you're having must be connected to her, because we have never been more than good friends."
'Why is she lying to me? I know there is more to us that what she is letting on.'
"Mac I..." The doorbell interrupts Harm.
'Saved by the bell.' Mac thinks as she goes to the door.
"Commander, what a surprise to see you here." Harriet says walking in the door.
"Harm!" Chloe exclaims moving to give him a hug.
Mac reaches out and stops Chloe. "Oh I'm sorry. I forgot."
"Harm was just leaving."
"I'll see that the admiral gets the information."
"Thanks. See you at the wedding?" Mac asks hoping that puts an end to his questions.
"Yeah, sure see you at the wedding." Harm walks out.
The night again begins with fitful sleep for Harm. As he replays in his dreams his recent conversations with Mac. He tosses and turns for sometime until finally the images change flowing again like a movie. His breathing evens out as the memory begins to come.
"What I want most is to never loose you." Harm begins this time.
"I promise you, no matter what, you won't loose me."
"What I want most is... to do the right thing."
"Right for who?"
"You, Renee...me."
"You can't do the right thing for everyone. Nobody can. You just make the best choice and hope..."
Harm finally asks the burning question. "Why did you go to him so quickly?"
"You pushed me away. What was I supposed to do?"
"Wait."
"For how long?"
"As long as it takes."
A tear rolls down Mac's cheek and Harm gently brushes it away.
"Damn you for putting this on me."
Harm takes her in his arms a second later Tiner pokes his head out. They quickly pull apart as Tiner pretends not to notice what he just saw.
"Sir, Ma'am, the Admiral is asking for you."
"Thank you Tiner. We'll be right in."
"It's getting chilly out here." Tiner continues.
Harm firmly responds, "Yes it is Tiner."
Finally taking his cue Tiner goes back inside.
"Well, we should go inside."
"I know." Mac says reaching up and lightly kisses him. She moves away but he cannot let her go. He kisses her again and the kiss deepens and builds as their brewing passion nearly overwhelms them.
Mac pulls away. He looks deeply into her eyes earnestly searching her soul for an answer. The one she provides is not the one he was hoping for.
"We're getting to good at saying goodbye." She says turning to go back inside.
Harm sighs deeply and follows her in.
Harm sits up in bed, his adrenaline pumping, as wave after wave of memories hit him. The floodgate has opened and it has all come back to him.
The day could not be more beautiful. The weather is fabulous. It is just the right temperature, not a cloud in the sky. A slight breeze blows and everything smells fresh and new.
Harriet helps Mac with her veil.
"You look beautiful Ma'am." Harriet gushes.
"Harriet, please on my wedding day, call me Mac."
Chloe squeals with delight as the admiral knocks on the door.
"Colonel-- Mac, it's time." AJ announces.
Chloe and Harriet walk out ahead leaving AJ and Mac alone.
"I must say, you make a stunning bride."
Mac blushes, "Thank you sir."
"Mac are you..."
"Ready? Yes, I am very ready sir."
With that pronouncement and the organ music floating on the air, AJ walks Mac to the chapel doors. Very fatherly, AJ kisses her cheek and pulls the veil down over her face. Then the all-important cue, here comes the bride begins. Mac takes a deep breath nodding her head sharply; they begin their walk down the aisle.
Already standing at the altar is her groom with his bright assize grin bigger than ever. As she walks toward him, nothing else in the world matters. All his insecurities along with the events of the previous week have faded away. With each step she takes down the aisle, his heart beats faster and he is totally in awe of her beauty.
Mac smiles at Mic as she makes her way down the aisle. Yet there is this strong desire to look out over the guests and find Harm. She uses her peripheral vision as much as she can to no avail. Then chastising herself she looks steadfastly ahead renewing her focus on what is about to take place.
AJ and Mac reach the altar and Mic takes her by the hand. They face the Chaplin as he begins the ceremony. Mac's heart starts beating faster as she tunes out all the voices around her. Flashing across her mind are vivid images of Harm and his flyboy grin. The day they met in the Rose Garden, the embassy dance, their trip to Russia and that kiss on the porch.
'Snap out of it Mackenzie' she tells herself. Just in time to hear the Chaplin say, "Turn to one another and repeat after me."
Mic turns to face his bride beaming with love for her. And he begins to repeat his vows, "...for better or for worse," he notices a distance in her eyes, "in sickness and in health," his eyes seeking reassurance with each word, "to love and to cherish..." his voice stalls as he finally admits what he has known all long, her heart isn't truly with him.
Seeing the reality expressed in his face, a tear rolls down her cheek.
"I'm so sorry Mic."
"I know Sarah. I know."
"Thanks, Mom." Harm says as he sips his coffee.
"For what, honey?" She asks squeezing his hand.
"For being here and sending Sturgis after me, you knew right where I would be."
Trish smiles, "You were out rather late."
"We played pool and had a couple drinks. We were reminiscing about our Academy days; it was nice—for a while."
His smile fades as he continues. "I also appreciate you taking care of all those people, especially Renee. I feel awful about hurting her like this."
"Sometimes no matter how much we try, hurting someone's feelings is unavoidable."
"I did plenty of that last night. Damn this amnesia!" He says throwing his napkin on the table. "How do I get my life back?"
Trish looks Harm straight in the eyes.
"You were not intentionally trying to hurt Mac or Renee. This must be so difficult to do but be patient. You just got out of the hospital yesterday." Trish responds, attempting to ease her son's anxiety.
Harm sighs deeply, "Sturgis told me what the admiral had explained to him about Colonel Mackenzie. He was shocked too. She could be Dianne's twin."
"The resemblance is really astounding." Trish replies returning back to her meal.
"When I held her there was something..." Harm says softly more to himself than anything else.
"Something..." Trish asks.
Harm feels a little awkward but realizing that he needs to start somewhere, he elaborates.
"Something different and yet familiar, and knowing that it wasn't Dianne makes sense to me now. At first, I obviously thought she was Dianne. Yet, as I held her and felt her response to me, it was different. I can't explain it."
Trish could not help but smile to herself. This just re-affirms what she has believed all along, Mac is definitely the key to bringing Harm back.
"Are you going into the office today?" Trish asks.
"Sturgis asked me to come by and go to lunch. He still doesn't know many people so he said it would help him and it could also help me, maybe trigger something."
"Sounds like a good idea."
"Let's hope so."
It was Mac's intention not to go back to JAG until after she returned from her honeymoon, but when the Admiral calls you at home telling you to there is an appeal pending on one of your cases, how can one refuse.
Mac got off the elevator and went straight to the Admiral's office.
"Hello, Ma'am." Tiner stands greeting Mac, "You may go right in the Admiral is waiting for you."
"Thank you, Petty Officer."
Mac walks in and stands at attention if front of the Admiral's desk.
"At ease Colonel. I am sorry to have to call you but I just got notice of this first thing this morning."
"It's not a problem sir. Which case is it?"
"The Wallace case. Apparently, he has hired a civilian attorney and is claiming that he did not receive adequate representation citing improper conduct regarding the sharing of information between the defensive and prosecution. I am fully persuaded this is just a ploy on the part of the civilian attorney to get the verdict vacated and a new court marshal. Nonetheless, we have to get official statements from you and Commander Rabb and all the proper documentation for review of the case."
At the mention of Harm's name Mac tenses up a bit.
"How will Commander Rabb's current condition affect the process?"
"We will just have to submit medical documentation and keep all players informed to any changes that may occur."
"I will get to work right away Admiral. Is there anything else sir?"
"About the other night at the Commander's apartment..."
Mac did not want to discuss it really but her sudden departure needed some kind of explanation.
"It was briefly disconcerting but I'm fine sir."
AJ knew there was more to it than that but he respects his people's privacy and tries to stay out of their personal matters as much as possible.
"Very well Colonel dismissed."
"Aye, aye sir."
Harm walks into the bullpen hoping that something will seem familiar to him yet, to no avail.
'What are you expecting Rabb, a bolt of lighting or something.' He chastises himself.
Harriet sees him right away and walks up to speak to him. "Hello Commander."
"Lieutenant Sims." Harm smiles.
Harriet cannot help feel a little sad. Harm usually calls her by her first name.
"Is there something I can help you with?"
"Yes, actually there is. I am here to have lunch with Commander Turner."
"Well he is still in a meeting right now sir."
"Could you show me to his office so I can wait for him?"
"Yes sir I could, but how about I take you to your office?" Harriet suggests.
Harm is still a little uncomfortable with all of this but he agrees and follows Harriet to his office.
"I will direct Commander Turner here when he is finished."
"Thank you Lieutenant."
Harm stands there soaking in his surroundings. He examines the room beginning with the diplomas hanging on the wall. He reads his name and strains to place himself at graduation-- nothing.
On a shelf underneath the diplomas, sits a model biplane.
'This is the only object that remotely makes sense to me in this room.' He thinks as he picks it up taking a closer look. Although having a model plane in his office makes perfect sense, he cannot place where or whom it came from.
As he repositions the model plane on the shelf, a photograph catches his eye. It is he and Mac and they are wearing formal attire. They were unaware of the presence of the camera, laughing with one another. Harm has his hand on the small of her back; her head tilts toward him, she is smiling with her hand resting on his shoulder.
"Who am I and how did I get here?" He asks aloud.
"Lieutenant Commander Harmon Rabb Jr., pilot and attorney extraordinaire, with the ego to match."
A sarcastic and teasing feminine voice calls from behind him.
He turns to face her.
"Some would say you are a ladies man with the propensity to attract annoying blonde types."
Mac walks all the way into his office and adds sincerely, "But most definitely a loyal and trusted friend."
"You seem to know a lot about me." Harm replies.
"We have been colleagues and friends for sometime. We can be very competitive with one another in and out of the courtroom. Yet when push comes to shove, we always back the other up."
"Like when you went with me to Russia?" Harm asks.
Mac's heart beat speeds up a little.
"You remember that?" She asks hopefully.
"No, I'm afraid not. My mother told me about it though." Harm replies regretfully.
"Of course." Mac's heart sinks.
"Colonel Mackenzie...." Harm starts.
"Please Harm, call me Mac."
"Mac, I want to apologize for the other night. I didn't mean to..."
"Harm no apology is necessary. Actually I should apologize to you for running out like that."
"Why did you run away?"
Mac walks over to the window. "I just didn't know how to respond to what happened."
"I know that feeling."
Harm walks over and stands next to her. Mac turns to look at him.
"Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure."
"Is there something ...." He hesitates not sure how to put it.
"Something?" She prompts.
"Something going on....between us?"
Mac blushes and is suddenly very uncomfortable. She turns and moves away.
"What makes you ask that?" She asks trying to be nonchalant.
Harm follows her, putting his hands on her shoulders, he turns her to face him again. He searches her eyes for the answer with a tender longing and uncertain familiarity.
The smell of his cologne and gentle curiosity start to hypnotize her weakening her defenses.
"Because when I held you in my arms I felt..."
"Hey buddy, are you ready?" Sturgis asks as he walks in.
With the spell broken, Mac moves away from Harm and starts to leave.
"I'm sorry Colonel did I interrupt something?" Sturgis asks a bit surprised and embarrassed.
"No. I have to get going anyway." Mac responds relieved by the interruption.
"Would you care to join us for lunch?" Strugis offers.
"Thanks, but some other time. I have some paper work to finish for the Admiral and then I have the final touches for the wedding to attend to; you're invited of course Commander."
"Thank you Colonel. And if I don't see you before, I will see you then."
"Have a good lunch." Mac says as she heads back to her office.
Harm stands there wondering about this unmistakable connection with this woman who is about to marry someone else.
"You want to tell me what was going on in here? It looked like I interrupted something pretty important." Sturgis says bringing Harm out of his thoughts.
"I wish I knew man, I wish I knew."
"That waitress was rather interested in you Sturgis." Harm wryly comments as they walk into the entrance of the mall.
"I'll let you know how it turns out." Sturgis replies as he stands reading the mall directory. "I wish I knew what kind of wedding gift to buy for the Colonel."
Sturgis's casual comment brings a somber mood over Harm's face.
Sturgis notices but does not say anything. They start walking again when suddenly Harm stops in front of a travel agency, staring intently at a brochure picturing the Sydney Opera House.
"Harm?" Sturgis calls, but Harm does not hear him. He is lost in thought.
Flashes of him and Mac on a bridge come to his mind.
"Harm!" Sturigs raises his voice shaking his shoulder, "Hey man, are you alright."
"Oh, uh, yeah I'm alright."
"You want to tell me where you were just now?"
"Australia, I think."
"Does that mean something is coming back to you?"
"I'm not sure...maybe."
"Good. You want to tell me about it?"
"Not yet."
"Ok. Well then, we had better hurry up. I need to get back to the office."
"Lead on."
That evening Harm and Trish had a good dinner talking and reminiscing about when he was a boy, the good and the bad. Again coming to why he had to stop flying and change his designator. Then the conversation came to Mac.
"I saw Mac today."
"Oh? Where?"
"At JAG headquarters when I went to have lunch with Sturgis."
"I thought she was on leave with the wedding and all."
"She is but apparently a case we worked on together is being appealed so she had to come in to do some paper work about it."
"How is your current condition going to affect this appeal?"
"The admiral said we would just provide them medical documentation about what has happened and when something changes we would keep all involved up to speed."
"So how did your visit to JAG go? Anything seem familiar to you?"
"Not really. It was a bit uncomfortable being there, knowing that is where I have been for many years, yet feeling completely out of place. Then Mac came in."
"And..." Trish asks hopefully.
"She was being playful and lighthearted. She told me that we were good friends always there for on another." Harm pauses.
"And I started feeling that...that connection again. I feel like there is more to our relationship that she let on."
"And...." Trish says again prompting him to continue.
"I asked her if there was something more between us."
"I have wondered that myself for sometime son. But you would always say you were just very good friends, or evade the issue altogether."
"Well she didn't really give me an answer. We were interrupted and she left rather quickly."
"Ahh. I see." Trish smiles to herself.
"Anything else happen?"
"Well nothing much, just when Sturgis and I were at the mall today I had a flash of me and Mac on a bridge and I think we were in Australia."
"Harm, that's great. You were in Australia with Mac trying a case."
"This isn't going to make sense, because it doesn't make sense to me. But I don't think that Mac should marry this Brumby guy."
"There's not much time. They are to be married day after tomorrow...and tomorrow is almost here." Trish says looking at the clock seeing it was almost midnight.
"I have no business telling her not to marry this man. Obviously, she must be in love with the guy or else she wouldn't be marrying him. Besides, what reason could I give her?" Harm answers agitatedly, his voice showing his frustration and weariness from a long day.
"Well, why don't you turn in. Maybe things will look better in the morning." "Sounds good, let me walk you to your car." Harm sees his mother to her car and gives her a kiss goodnight.
He lays in bed tossing and turning in a fitful sleep. As more images flashed though his mind.
Sleep is truly healing for the body. The images suddenly start to flow and Harm's sleep becomes more even.
It is a clear night. He and Mac are standing on a bridge.
"We're not in Washington. We're not even on the same continent." Mac begins.
"Location doesn't change who we are." Harm answers solemnly.
"Most men would disagree with you."
"I know. I disagree with myself sometimes too."
"You just can't let go, can you?"
"Not yet."
Mac searches his eyes. "You're just this way with me, aren't you?"
"Yeah, I'm only this way with you."
"I guess I should be flattered."
"You should....Sarah."
Harm sits up in bed rubbing his face and temples.
"Ahh Mac." He sighs heavily.
Mic whistles in the kitchen making breakfast. 'Just one more day and Sarah and I will be off on our honeymoon and on with the rest of our lives.'
"Breakfast is ready love." He calls to Mac who is still getting dressed.
"I'll be there in a minute." She answers.
As she stands in front of the mirror finishing up her makeup, putting on her jewelry, her mind drifts back to yesterday afternoon in Harm's office.
'I almost told him, had we not been interrupted, I would have told him how I feel. What a mistake that would have been, he still sees Dianne when he looks at me. It's his feelings for Dianne that he senses when we are together.' She convinces herself.
"Come on Sarah your omelet is getting cold."
Mac comes to the table and Mic kisses her on the cheek.
"Just the way you like it, with lots of cheese." He smiles pouring a glass of juice.
"Remember after breakfast you're out of here. I have a lot of girl stuff to do when Harriet and Chloe get here."
"Why didn't Chloe stay here with you last night?" Mic asks.
"I'm not sure. Something about a surprise and it would be easier to stay with Harriet. I am supposed to find out today."
"Well I have a few things I am going to do today as well. After all, this is my last day as a bachelor you know." Mic grins trying to bait her.
"I'm not worried. You wouldn't do anything that I wouldn't do." She smiles slyly in reply.
The doorbell cuts short their playfulness.
"That will be them." She says standing to answer the door.
"Hey, don't I get to finish my breakfast?"
"What's left to finish? Are you going to eat the plate too?"
The doorbell rings again. Mac opens the door and her countenance registers the surprise on her face.
"What is it love?" Mic asks coming to the door.
Mic's countenance changes as well, accompanied by a knot forming in his stomach.
"Harm, what are you doing here?" Mac asks motioning him to come in.
"Umm I just had a couple questions." He says a little hesitantly.
Mac following his lead, "Oh about the appeal right, come in."
"Hello Harm." Mic manages to get out. "How are things coming?"
"Slow. And since I'm not myself at the moment, Mac really is the only one who can help—you know with the appeal and all."
Mac knew what he meant. She just hoped that Mic didn't pick up on it.
"I don't have much time. Harriet and Chloe will be here any minute." Mac says trying to put Mic at ease.
"It shouldn't take long. I know you have a lot to do today."
"Well I'll be going then. I'll call you later." Mic says as he takes Mac in his arms giving her a proper kiss goodbye. Now Harm is the one with the knot forming in his stomach.
The door closes and awkwardness fills the room.
"So what do you need help with?" Mac breaks the silence.
"You know this isn't about the appeal." Harm says moving closer to her.
Mac side steps him and begins to clear the breakfast dishes.
"I thought as much." She acknowledges on her way into the kitchen.
Harm waits for her to come back and stands between her and the table. "About yesterday, before we were interrupted, you were going to answer my question."
Mac goes to the living room.
"Mac, why are you avoiding me?"
"Have you remembered anything or are you just on a fishing expedition?"
"A few flashbacks have come to me but not everything."
"Well then you tell me the answer to your question?"
"I don't know how to answer it. Everything is still out of place. I need to know what you think."
"You really want to know what I think." Mac replies matter of factly.
"That's why I'm here."
"I'm not Dianne."
Harm didn't expect that. "I know that the other night I thought you were Dianne...."
She couldn't let him finish, she didn't want to take the chance of losing her resolve.
"These uncertain feelings you're having must be connected to her, because we have never been more than good friends."
'Why is she lying to me? I know there is more to us that what she is letting on.'
"Mac I..." The doorbell interrupts Harm.
'Saved by the bell.' Mac thinks as she goes to the door.
"Commander, what a surprise to see you here." Harriet says walking in the door.
"Harm!" Chloe exclaims moving to give him a hug.
Mac reaches out and stops Chloe. "Oh I'm sorry. I forgot."
"Harm was just leaving."
"I'll see that the admiral gets the information."
"Thanks. See you at the wedding?" Mac asks hoping that puts an end to his questions.
"Yeah, sure see you at the wedding." Harm walks out.
The night again begins with fitful sleep for Harm. As he replays in his dreams his recent conversations with Mac. He tosses and turns for sometime until finally the images change flowing again like a movie. His breathing evens out as the memory begins to come.
"What I want most is to never loose you." Harm begins this time.
"I promise you, no matter what, you won't loose me."
"What I want most is... to do the right thing."
"Right for who?"
"You, Renee...me."
"You can't do the right thing for everyone. Nobody can. You just make the best choice and hope..."
Harm finally asks the burning question. "Why did you go to him so quickly?"
"You pushed me away. What was I supposed to do?"
"Wait."
"For how long?"
"As long as it takes."
A tear rolls down Mac's cheek and Harm gently brushes it away.
"Damn you for putting this on me."
Harm takes her in his arms a second later Tiner pokes his head out. They quickly pull apart as Tiner pretends not to notice what he just saw.
"Sir, Ma'am, the Admiral is asking for you."
"Thank you Tiner. We'll be right in."
"It's getting chilly out here." Tiner continues.
Harm firmly responds, "Yes it is Tiner."
Finally taking his cue Tiner goes back inside.
"Well, we should go inside."
"I know." Mac says reaching up and lightly kisses him. She moves away but he cannot let her go. He kisses her again and the kiss deepens and builds as their brewing passion nearly overwhelms them.
Mac pulls away. He looks deeply into her eyes earnestly searching her soul for an answer. The one she provides is not the one he was hoping for.
"We're getting to good at saying goodbye." She says turning to go back inside.
Harm sighs deeply and follows her in.
Harm sits up in bed, his adrenaline pumping, as wave after wave of memories hit him. The floodgate has opened and it has all come back to him.
The day could not be more beautiful. The weather is fabulous. It is just the right temperature, not a cloud in the sky. A slight breeze blows and everything smells fresh and new.
Harriet helps Mac with her veil.
"You look beautiful Ma'am." Harriet gushes.
"Harriet, please on my wedding day, call me Mac."
Chloe squeals with delight as the admiral knocks on the door.
"Colonel-- Mac, it's time." AJ announces.
Chloe and Harriet walk out ahead leaving AJ and Mac alone.
"I must say, you make a stunning bride."
Mac blushes, "Thank you sir."
"Mac are you..."
"Ready? Yes, I am very ready sir."
With that pronouncement and the organ music floating on the air, AJ walks Mac to the chapel doors. Very fatherly, AJ kisses her cheek and pulls the veil down over her face. Then the all-important cue, here comes the bride begins. Mac takes a deep breath nodding her head sharply; they begin their walk down the aisle.
Already standing at the altar is her groom with his bright assize grin bigger than ever. As she walks toward him, nothing else in the world matters. All his insecurities along with the events of the previous week have faded away. With each step she takes down the aisle, his heart beats faster and he is totally in awe of her beauty.
Mac smiles at Mic as she makes her way down the aisle. Yet there is this strong desire to look out over the guests and find Harm. She uses her peripheral vision as much as she can to no avail. Then chastising herself she looks steadfastly ahead renewing her focus on what is about to take place.
AJ and Mac reach the altar and Mic takes her by the hand. They face the Chaplin as he begins the ceremony. Mac's heart starts beating faster as she tunes out all the voices around her. Flashing across her mind are vivid images of Harm and his flyboy grin. The day they met in the Rose Garden, the embassy dance, their trip to Russia and that kiss on the porch.
'Snap out of it Mackenzie' she tells herself. Just in time to hear the Chaplin say, "Turn to one another and repeat after me."
Mic turns to face his bride beaming with love for her. And he begins to repeat his vows, "...for better or for worse," he notices a distance in her eyes, "in sickness and in health," his eyes seeking reassurance with each word, "to love and to cherish..." his voice stalls as he finally admits what he has known all long, her heart isn't truly with him.
Seeing the reality expressed in his face, a tear rolls down her cheek.
"I'm so sorry Mic."
"I know Sarah. I know."