Part Four: What's Wrong With Love?

I looked at Anakin, who wavered the grass around us through the Force. "Master?"

"Yes, Anakin?" I replied.

"What's wrong with love? With falling in love? There's no attachment. There's no possession. Why?"

I sighed. The way he made the word 'love' sound pierced me in the chest. I was once in love. My one and only true love. Oh, Sabé. Your warm touch, that sweet embrace and gentle kiss. I'll never forget it. I'm so sorry. I miss you. "No Jedi could ever fall in love, for it will ruin what you have vowed and promised in the Code. No Jedi shall know anything of anger. Hate. Or love. And if you were to ever get as far as to get emotionally involved, it could very well scar you to a point that could never be healed. Then it will lead into fear. Anger. Hate. And even down the Dark Path to the Dark Side. If you were to ever break the Code you could be expelled from the Order and left with some emotions you could never get rid of. If we were to have any possessions or attachments it won't be as easy to let go of as one that was never attached to anything special. It's just something Jedi could never do, unless a matter truly called for it."

"But why is that? I mean, that's where the lack of adventure starts--"

Again I silenced him. "Love is not an adventure but something that will pull you into personal conflict you may not be able to escape. You may be in love, true love, but after that, what will it be? What if it just doesn't last or it gets destroyed? It cannot be fixed and you will feel like no one will look at you the same way. You will never look into the brightness of day again. You will never be the same if you ever loved someone. Things happen and it will only prove that you will allow your personal feelings to get in the way of what's more important. Your job is to protect the galaxy, a commitment that longs to be broken by many, but cannot."

"But why?"

"I didn't make the rules, Anakin. Nor do I change them--"

"You're always by the book, Master. I'm sure you broke a few rules every now and then."

I eyed my apprentice, but didn't say anything. My mind was other places, but my shields were up, and he couldn't detect what I was thinking of. There was just no true way to break past my shields unless you could see deeper into my soul, and Anakin still had much to learn about that. Every emotion he gave off, I could sense, a trick Qui-Gon had taught me in my training, years ago.

Anakin cocked his head a little and looked into my eyes. My face was unchanged, but deep inside I couldn't help but think about Qui-Gon. Or Sabé, beyond the shields I kept up so much. He didn't want to smile, but I could sense a feeling of victory behind those eyes.

He leaned in closer. "Master, you were in love once?"

"No. No." I shook my head in denial.

"You're lying. You're just saying all that to scare me." A mischeivous smile came to his face.

"No. I do not want to repeat myself, Anakin. A Jedi can only love if there is some strong reason behind it."

He laughed. "You're denying it, Master. C'mon. You can tell me. I won't tell anyone. Who was it? Bant? Siri?" He paused. "Ooh, it is Siri! It was, wasn't it? I knew it. What happened? She don't like you that same--"

"Anakin!" My voice rose with anger.

"C'mon."

My eyes narrowed slightly. My face grew serious.

He looked away. "I'm sorry, Master. My apologies." But the smile didn't disappear.

"This is exactly what I mean when people lack someone else's privacy, respect and trust. There are reasons why I tell you these--" I stopped. My head popped up, alert. Something was around, disturbing. I got to my feet and slowly looked about.

"What is it?" Anakin got to his feet.

I silenced him and went deeper into the plaza. I felt cold again. Hate. Anger. Haste to find the source. Something I haven't felt in a long time. Then I remembered what Master Yoda told me before I went out for the walk.

A Few Hours Ago

I sat cross-legged across the little green Master in his quarters and drunk the small cup of tea sitting in the palm of my hand. Master Yoda was deep in meditation by the time I came in. The green Master stirred as the cup reached the safety of my lap. He opened his eyes and stared at the floor for a long time. Then he averted his attention to me.

"You requested to see me, Master?" I asked, quietly.

Yoda nodded. "I did."

"What for?"

Yoda waited awhile to speak up. "Give into fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. The Dark Side is indeed strong. Powerful and easier to take than a path a true Jedi will take. Do not let it be your way out of things, Obi-Wan. Escape it will be too hard this time Much older you are, and so easily to turn and not come back."

I shook my head, confused. "I do not understand, Master."

"A clouded future for us all. But I sense it strong in both you and your apprentice, Obi-Wan. Be wary and let the Force guide you. I sense grave danger in for both of you, soon."

I looked down and thought it through for a while. It wasn't that I didn't want to think about it, but about 19 years ago I had taken the step down the dark path. It scared me, but Qui-Gon saved me from turning completely, but even now I could feel its power. It was strong. It was powerful, and that's what I wanted to get, to rid myself of the pain. "Yes, Master."

Yoda chuckled lightly. "May the Force Be With You, Obi-Wan."

I finished the drink and got to my feet. Yoda retrieved his own cup and drank it quietly. I bowed low and left.

to be continued...