Thanks to those who reviewed: dive to blue and clari chan. I love reviewers, and critisism is always good, it means you read it. I did have some editing problems, but it's all fixed now... I hope. Dedicated to you both.

Disclaimer: Again, as I painfully admit, Maki Murakami owns this characters, I don't.

It's been a while now, since I last saw you.

I keep thinking about you a lot, but not as much as before.

No, that's a lie.

I miss you, I miss you a lot.

I never thought it would be this hard.

Well, speaking of not thinking, I never thought I had to go through this pain.

I don't even know why I miss you this much.

I don't understand why or when I fell for you in the first place.

It was just 'gravity'.

The problem is you weren't affected by it.

Every time I think of all the things we did together, I really feel like crying.

Not that anyone notices of course.

Hiro knows for sure how hurt I am, but he doesn't say a word.

After I saw you I thought I would cry for days.

But I couldn't.

Just a few tears and that was all.

That's why everyone thinks I'm ok.

Besides we weren't together that long right?

Wrong.

For me it was not a matter of time,

Since all I noticed is how quickly it passed when I was with you.

And also so slowly...

And I haven't been able to cry.

I feel like all this pain is bottled in me, just waiting for something to release it.

There are some things that make me feel like I'm finally going to get ride of this pain.

But it never happens.

It's the worse of tortures you know?

And still I miss you.

I can't help to feel used sometimes.

I think you didn't meant to do it,

I want to believe it just happened.

I need to believe it wasn't your purpose.

And you want to know what the most ridiculous part is?

I have thought I should call you.

I want to be with you, even if it's just as a spectator.

Or as a support.

That's just how much I love you.

And again, you will never know.

Maybe you thought I was playing at the begining too.

Well I wasn't.

Ever since I met you I felt we were perfect for each other.

I still do.

But you can't force love.

Nor do I want to.

I wonder how long you stayed there where I left you.

Staring at something no one else could see.

Not even me.

I looked back and I saw you,

You didn't move at all.

Was it regret or relief that made you stay there?

I don't really want to know.

I saw sadness in you eyes, but if it was guilt or something else

I couldn't figure it out.

And every night my heart feels like breaking.

For the future I wished for us.

Damn, for the past I thought we had.

Maybe I should wait a little longer and then I'll began to forget.

Although something tells me that that won't happen.

And I'm not sure if I want to.