Part Seven: Did You Accept Your Death?
Qui-Gon noticed the troubled look on my face. "Is something wrong, Obi- Wan?"
"You never truly died, Mas-- Qui-Gon," I noticed the interested look in his eyes. "You didn't die like other Jedi!" I got to my feet. "Did you truly not accept your death?"
Qui-Gon exchanged looks with Anakin before getting to his feet. He stood over me like a sheet of protection, but now my hands shook, the very hands that killed that Sith Lord. Qui-Gon extended a hand to touch my shoulder, but I pulled away at the last second.
"Did you truly not accept your death?" I repeated.
He didn't even answer me, but he felt sorry for me. The pain that still shook me to this day.
"Why? Why did you have to die?!" I cried.
"Obi-Wan--" he tried again.
"No." I pulled away, tears escaped my eyes. "You could of been alive if only I was faster. Got to you before it was too late, but you rushed into it. You didn't wait for me. But if I was faster, you'd still be alive, Master. But you're not. And it was my fault."
Anakin quickly got to his feet. He approached me, but Qui-Gon held him back. "Obi-Wan, it was never your fault."
"It was my fault. Don't even try to say it wasn't it because it was!" I didn't even try to look him in the eyes.
"No, don't say that, Obi-Wan. It wasn't your fault. And you're right, I didn't wait for you. But I had hoped you'd become stronger because of it. That battle truly proved your skills as a Jedi, and you should be proud of that. But I can't expect you to always be there and that Sith had to be taken out, even if it meant taking the life of another."
I took a deep breath. "But did it have to be you?"
Qui-Gon looked down. I looked over him to see the shock in my apprentice. I could tell he wanted to say something, but was afraid if he did it would send me into one of my rage attacks. Though I had them under control, if anyone was in my way, it was never a pretty sight. It's what sparked up my rebellious side.
"Sometimes a Jedi must be prepared to protect another for the sake of saving many lives," Qui-Gon took a few steps forward. "I know it is hard for you, Obi-Wan. But it is the life of a Jedi. We are the keepers of peace and justice. We must protect those we serve. And I served you as a Master. We served Queen Amidala as protectors."
"But I was your apprentice. I wasn't ready to take that step into knighthood without you."
Again, Qui-Gon's gaze met the ground, but quickly reached the sight of my tear-streaked face. He gently touched my shoulder, sending a burst of the Force into me. I didn't even flinch, but took in the comfort of the bond.
He spoke to me quietly. "I was there....Ben."
To be continued.....