Part Eight: Let It Go

I looked up at him again. My eyes filled with tears. Ben. You called me Ben, Master?

It is that of your true name, is it not?

I nodded. But you never used it unless you truly meant something--

And I did. I was there with you when you took the first steps into knighthood, but I wasn't physically there. I was there in your heart and through the Force. I've always been there.

The tears dropped, freely. I looked down again, as Qui-Gon's hand met my other shoulder. He patted them gently. "I was always there. But now you must learn to let it go and live life again. I'm not sure if you remember how since that day. Listen to Anakin. He has much to say."

I peered at the apprentice kicking the ground underneath him, bored. I nodded firmly. "I will, Qui-Gon."

"And learn to live a little. I'm sure your friends at the Temple have been trying to get you to go out and have some fun."

"They have, Master." I chuckled softly.

"Well, go out. Have fun. Who cares what the Council think? Leave your mark as I have, Ben. It doesn't matter if they think your completely insane like me. Let them think that. I was your master, wasn't I?"

I chuckled again. "Yeah."

"So, act like me. Maybe not all the time. Be yourself too, but if you want people to listen, you're going to have to find other ways besides locking them out completely. You can't always be by the book. Don't be. The galaxy doesn't follow the same rules we do, Ben."

I nodded.

"And finally, let go. Just let it go. Talk to Anakin if you have to. You can't keep those emotions, those feelings bottled up inside you, or it will lead you to a place you may never come back from. The temptations of the Dark Side, as it may be, to not let these go,will leave scars that could never be erased." I nodded again. "You know exactly how the power of the Dark Side feels and its effects. It's powerful, I know. Very tempting and so easy to go to, but that should never be in your thoughts. Meditate, if you have to. Find that place where no one else can go but yourself. Stay there and always have it in mind when it comes to looking at the pain. That pain will not go away if you can't let go. I know how much you kick yourself, by not saving me, but I could never ask for a better apprentice, to give me that courage to believe that anything was possible. It was you, Ben. No one else showed me that but you, my son. It was you that kept me strong as I became older."

I closed my eyes again, as several more tears escaped them. It was so soothing to hear his encouragement, those words. But nothing was as strong as 'Ben' or 'my son'. It had such significance to it, I couldn't help but let those tears fall.

"Now, my son, Anakin is yours. Train him as I did you and he will become a fine addition to the Order. Treat him like a son, not like an apprentice or the rest of his training will be a living hell."

I buried my tear-streaked face onto the elder man's tunic, again. "Yes, Master."

Anakin walked up beside us in attempts to get some recognition. Qui-Gon broke the embrace and placed a warm hand on Anakin's shoulder. I wiped away the wetness on my face with the sleeve of my tunic.

Qui-Gon gave us that warm, calming smile. "Now, Anakin. I expect you to listen to Obi-Wan here. Treat each other with respect and listen to each other when time permits."

"Of course, Master," Anakin's face lit with a smile.

I smiled back at him.

"Each of you have something to say, and it's important to let each other know that. I don't want you two to look at each other and not really consider yourselves as Master and Apprentice. I want you to create a bond more like Obi-Wan and myself. If that doesn't seem to work, drive each other to go crazy if you have to. I don't care. I don't want the two of you to feel so miserable without me. I am happy. And the two of you should be too."

"I'm happy." Anakin raised a hand.

"Well, that's good. Besides the training, right?" Qui-Gon asked as Anakin nodded. "Well, then it's all good. Obi-Wan, are you happy?"

I didn't say anything.

Again, their eyes bared down on me. A sly smile passed my face. And Anakin had a hand coming my way to push me back, playfully. "Sure, why wouldn't I be? I have Anakin, who I can clearly say acts like me. And you, Qui-Gon, as my guide right along with the Force. The Temple providing me with a home. The friends I have to show me some good times. And a council who worries I am acting like my Master too damn much."

A bright smile passed the elder Jedi. "Well, looks like I did my job. But that's what I'm talking about, Obi-Wan. Don't be afraid to say anything and keep Anakin informed some of the time." I nodded. Qui-Gon then turned his attention to Anakin. "That goes for you as well, Anakin. Make sure to listen to Obi-Wan here as much as you do to the Force, but allow some space between the two of you."

We nodded firmly.

"May the Force be with you both," Qui-Gon bowed.

"May the Force be with you, Master Qui-Gon," Anakin returned the gesture.

"The Force be with you always, father." I said quietly.

I saw a twinkle in the elder man's eye. A lone tear streaked his face. His figure was becoming ghostly. "Never underestimate the powers of the Dark Side, Obi-Wan. Anakin. It may be strong, but you are stronger. The very rewards of the Jedi are much better than that of a Sith. Always remember that," his voice faded.

To be continued....