A/N-- Hey all!! Wow. My second to last chapter... hard to believe. ain't it? It still feels like just a few days ago I posted the prologue and paced, anxiously waiting for my first reviews...

magot123- I was considering doing a sequel to this, but now Im a bit on the fence... I don't have a full plot for it yet. I'm happy to see that it will be missed, however!
Irish Anor- You can't possibly know how happy it makes me to hear you say I'm an awesome writer. I mean, you were my first reviewer and when you didn't like Anorel Tinuviel I went and crawled in a hole. I thought you hated me! but... thanks.
And yea, you guessed why he said Gabriel instead of Van Helsing. That and the fact that I love the name Gabriel...
Ohh, I'll miss you! When you get back it'll likely be finished, cuz if I wait too long then --I-- go on vacation!
You know, I hadn't even realized that was like POTC until you reviewers brought it up... man am I an idiot.... LOL. I hope you get to read this soon!
Ragweed- Wow. I just made one of my reviewers faint. --notices Dracula and sidles up real close-- well, now that we're alone...
LOL, I'm sorry it's so long!!! but I'm glad it was worthwhile!
Dare- I'm glad you found that chapter weird yet funny... I was just having a ball writing it!
Heh. Go read 'These Bloody Nights Spent,' another of my stories, if you wanna see my real style. This one is just a very good fluke... LOL.
You're from Germany?! Niftiness!!! I myself am a quarter German (me dad was born there!) and I'm taking classes to learn the language in High School!
sweetdeath04- ohh yea, suspense!
marrokinhas- Yes I'm thirteen and yup it all goes downhill from here. :-) Of course, not necessarily in the way you think..... And it was gonna be really romantic... but then a twist surprised me at the end and it got delayed till next chappie. Sorry!
Anthem82()- I can't wait to see what happens next!! I myself don't often know!!
Jane()- My reference to 'Martin Luther' in that chapter was to a religious leader of like the 1200's who posted the 20 (or was it 40...?) Theses on a church door and started the church that Martin Luther KING would later preach at.
HealerAriel- (1st review) Yea, Gabriel and Anna do kick ass!!!
(2nd review) People on fictionpress.com complain about long chappies... hence my phobia.... I'm glad you like my fight scenes. I'm in martial arts and I usually write right before and right after I go, so I get all these cool moves in my head...
(3rd review) Yea, that chapter was most amusing, ne? And no, she ain't gonna be too thrilled...
Eilian Rhoss- I'm not sure how far you've read, but I'll try and keep up my good work!
HyperCaz()- Damn, why do Aussies get all the good movies and crap? --grumble--

Ahhhh.... --inhales the scent of Skittles from the empty travel cup she holds in her hand--- Okieday, now that I am high on Skittles I shall write my chappie!! Have fun reading!

Chapter 22:
Fear of the Dark

In passing
We keep our darkest parts from each other
Each afraid of blinding the other to the light
But then nothing changes, nothing grows
Except the darkness, which,
Unless brought to light, can only
Become more black.
Aren't we living a form of suicide?
--"Fear of the Dark" by Verona Dracula (me)

Although both were still throbbing from their various wounds and bruises and the sun was scarce in the sun when they mounted, Anna and Van Helsing left quickly on horseback for the Carpathian Mountains. It seemed that Van Helsing would stop at nothing to reach his goal, driving his horse to the point of nearly collapsing.

"Quickly! Leave the horses here, we don't have time." He commanded as they arrived at the base of the Carpathians. He was off his horse in a flash and clumsily tying it to the lone tree nearby. He didn't want to waste any time at all; the sun was setting now and he wasn't sure when the Wavewriter wanted him there. He hated being left to figure things out for himself like this. That was Carl's job to deduce the time from three pieces of paper that made a circle, two notes signed 'a friend' and two strange meetings.

Don't worry, He assured himself. Before that sun rises again he'll be making you wish he'd stayed dead with his constant chatter.

"Van Helsing, slow down!" Anna shouted angrily as she pulled her horse to an abrupt stop and tied it next to Van Helsing's. He had already begun to climb.

"Hurry up!" He called back.

"I said slow down!" She cried, racing to try and catch up with him.

"And I said hurry up!" He said a little more sharply than he meant to.

"What's the big rush? So we know where they are, should we just rush in?" She insisted, grabbing his arm and turning him around.

"Look, I haven't time to explain it now but we have to hurry!" He said urgently, starting off as fast as possible. Anna gave a small cry of outrage, flinging her hands over her head and following.

This went on and on up the mountain. Thankfully, it was much more sloped and friendly to climbers on this side, or they might've died of sheer exhaustion within the first hour. I might've died of exhaustion. Anna thought with weary bitterness as she forced herself to always keep Van Helsing's back in sight. But him... he's a different story... God, it's like he's possessed...

Well whatever had taken over the Monster Hunter certainly didn't try to sweep Anna up too. Night had fallen when her legs, however well trained they might be, began to fail her. The wind was biting them both angrily and with the night had come extreme cold. Up ahead, Van Helsing too was shivering and forcefully putting one foot in front of the next. But he didn't seem to entertain any thoughts of stopping soon.

"Gabriel." She called hoarsely. "Gabriel!"

"Yes?" He asked quickly as he turned.

"We have to stop. We won't make it to the top tonight." She insisted, grateful for the respite.

"We have to make it to the top tonight. Please Anna, let's just keep going." He begged.

"You've dragged me across Transylvania and back again with little or no explanation! You either owe me that explanation or a few moments of rest! Or both preferably!" Anna cried. "I don't know what all the secrecy is about and it's driving me mad!"

"I told you, I've figured out where the cult is."

"How?"

"I found a map in Castle Frankenstein." He supplied quickly. God he hated hated hated hated hated lying to her...

"Fine." Anna said in a monotone, forcing herself to keep walking. Van Helsing followed, heavy-hearted.

She hated being so mistrustful and snappish, but there was something in the air, something about the whole day that did not bode well. She felt like killing herself in that moment, seeing the hurt look on Van Helsing's face just before she turned away. But what else could she do? She herself was tormented. Just a day ago, she had been willing to let this man into her life and into her heart. She had thought he had changed, that he was letting down his walls and showing her who he really was. Now she found herself confused and tortured by him again. There was something there, lodged in his soul and in his brain, driving him, maybe even to madness. She wanted to help him so badly...

"What am I doing to myself?" She muttered to herself. Anna felt safe doing so. He would never hear her now, as deep within himself as he was.

It seemed that there had never been anything but walking. Up and up. Forward always. Feeling nothing. Until white hot flashes of color and pain struck him and threatened to send him flying back to the beginning to do it all over again. But that fear had always been there...

Gabriel...

Shut up. He told the voice. Shut up. You aren't important to this. You won't help me get up the mountain.

Gabriel...

Please leave me alone...

Gabriel...

Leave me here... where am I, again? And why? Why...? He knew that it was important to be where he was. It troubled him that he did not know why.

Van Helsing...

Wait. He knew that voice.

But just as suddenly as he recognized it, it was gone again and so had the hellish surreal feeling of all that had preceded it. Now his nightmares were rising up to meet him as he was awake, and they were undaunted by daylight. He felt like clawing at his head to make them go away, but he couldn't. He had to keep going. For Carl.

But where had he heard that voice before...?

A storm was brewing overhead as midnight approached, and several times the wind threatened to knock them clean off the mountain. Whenever she could catch a glimpse of him, it seemed like Van Helsing was frightened of something, even in pain. He kept murmuring to himself, touching his forehead. But his feet would not slow, even when it seemed he'd die from taking just one more step.

"Van Helsing we need to stop. This is madness!" She said to him, seizing his arm and turning him around. For a moment it seemed like he wasn't even aware she was there. His eyes trailed across her face nervously a couple times before registering it.

"I've begun to think the world is madness." He whispered.

"What do you mean by that?"

"It is. It's very stark, actually... Well, the madness and the colors. The colors are stark too." Van Helsing said in the most sensible manner possible. Of course, the fact that he said it sensibly only frightened Anna more.

"Come with me. We need to get out of this cold." She said firmly, taking his hand.

"No, Anna it's fine. I've faced worse, let's go." He tried to pull back.

"No, Gabriel, it is not fine." She insisted. From here she could see something resembling a fold in the mountainside, sufficiently sheltered from the wind. She pulled him over to it and sank down in the snow. He did likewise, suddenly realizing how exhausted he was. But he had to ignore that. For Carl and for the being he was working for. Maybe this was his final test.

Wait, when did he work for the Wavewriter like some slave? The only way to shake off the disturbing and unbidden thought was through more walking, he decided.

"Look, if you're too tired you stay here, I'm going to go-"

"Fight a whole cult by yourself?" She asked. "I don't believe for one second longer that that is what you are out to do. Please... tell me the truth? Because I look in your eyes and I know that what you have been telling me is not the truth."

Her voice went more soft and pleading than she wanted, but she realized that she was tired and she did feel weak. Swept off her feet by that mystery of a man, she had stumbled and she had fallen, and he had whispered to her the soft words that broke her fall, or so she thought. Once they become transparent, lies so easily break. And now that the lie that had broken her fall had shattered and left her broken and bloodied at the bottommost pit of despair. God, she just wanted to die there. She was sick of wondering, not knowing. She was sick of worrying. She had never known love could kill.

"Anna." He said so quietly and with so much emotion that she thought surely he must be dying too. "Anna..." Van Helsing reached towards her and took one of her hands. Although they both wore gloves, they couldn't help but shudder at the contact and he moved closer so he could touch her face.

"Tell me." Anna begged, tears glittering in her eyes as he sat close beside her. The hand on her cheek faltered and his eyes dropped to the snow briefly before returning to her face. "There is no cult." She said softly. She was sure of it now. "What have we been fighting?"

"Nothing, actually. Well, not fighting to kill so much as... to redeem." He chose his words carefully.

"I don't understand... to redeem what?" She asked with confusion. His head dropped entirely. He looked so weary and forlorn, so much more broken than she. He had been broken and remade a thousand times over she knew now. And he was starting to crack again. He took her other hand and gave both a squeeze, then met her eyes again. Such desperate sorrow she never would've thought possible to be expressed by words... but his eyes certainly covered all the bases. "Carl."

"When I was sorting his notes back at the Vatican, I came across the ones on time. There was a reference to the Wavewriter but nothing more." He said slowly.

"You researched it... and decided to come to Transylvania to find it." She said with steadily mounting apprehension.

"Yes."

"And you wouldn't tell me?"

"Anna I couldn't. I was too afraid you'd disagree and refuse to help me. I needed you so badly then... to be reminded of why Carl died. I needed something to keep me sane!" He said frantically, his hands clutching hers.

"What made you think I would disagree?" She asked with sudden vehemence, jerking her hands out of his and standing.

"Everything! I was at war with the world in that moment, and you told me in the library it was considered evil because it altered time and fate!" He cried, coming to his feet as well.

"So you thought you'd just lie to me, convince me to come along and help out! Well what was going to happen when you got Carl back? Did you think I wouldn't notice?" She shouted.

"I was going to tell you everything then because you'd be so happy to have Carl back you wouldn't be as harsh on me. The ends justify the means!" Van Helsing's words were torn and hurt, but Anna hardly noticed. He had lied. Lied and put them both in danger.

"How do you know what would happen if this worked?" She asked harshly, her arms flung out wide.

"Does it matter? Does it really matter?" He shouted. "I killed my best friend. If you were given a chance to have Velkan or your father back wouldn't you take it? Well fate has been kind enough to give me this chance to get Carl back. And I'll take it. I will get to the top of this mountain and take it."

"Can't you see what it's done to you?" Anna asked in a pained voice. "God, it's taken over you. Do you care about nothing else?" Van Helsing froze, his heart pounding. No, he was doing this of his own free will. That crazy desire to keep moving no matter the costs was just his loyalty to his friend and his determination to have him back...

"You said everything but this in Castle Frankenstein. Let me say it now: I love you because you make me see and feel that the world isn't just revenge and dark and despair. That there could be a life better than the empty, thankless one I had known. That I could laugh in the face of an apocalypse. I doubted my love for you for so long, but now I know it beyond all doubt because I could only feel so much fear and disappointment for someone I loved so much.

"Can't you see that you have completely gone under? The second it tells you to do something you do. And now you're fevered to finish this last task. You'll kill yourself climbing this mountain like you have been!"

"I-I will get to the top and i-it will reward me for my work... it sent me out to kill monsters, and unlike the Order it will reward me.... and give me what I want... instead of threatening me for my mistakes, it will give me a chance to undo them." He finished bitterly.

"What?" Anna asked slowly. They had left the Order very quickly...

"Yes, the Order kicked me out under threat of execution!" He snapped suddenly. "If I ever come into contact with one of their members again they have been given permission to kill me on sight."

"Van Helsing. Gabriel- God we have to get out of here. Please, let's just leave." She begged, her hand on his arm.

"No, I won't leave!" He shouted, backing out of the shelter and into the wind. "I have been called murderer for too long. I can and will undo the one murder I truly committed. I have labored for four hundred years as the Left Hand of God, and now I want some semblance of peace. Everything I told you... about living here with you, fighting monsters... can't you see it being that much more complete with Carl there too? Why can't I have both of you?"

"So you have done all this because I didn't die. Like I was supposed to. And Carl did... and you don't understand why you couldn't change fate." Anna said in a low voice. "Why did you save me Gabriel? Was it because I was dead and you loved me, or was it because you couldn't stand the fact that you had actually murdered an innocent? Was it for your salvation or mine?" She shouted suddenly.

"And why are you so hellbent on doing the same for Carl? He's dead, Van Helsing! You can't change what has been done! Is it because you love him as a friend as much as you care for me? Am I just heartless, can I not see why? Or are you the heartless one, are you the one who doesn't care what may happen somewhere else in the world because you can't live knowing you killed an innocent, your best friend?" Pain rocked Van Helsing to his core. He turned away, burning tears of shame in his eyes. Anna saw that she had gone to far and stood directly behind him. "I know you are in pain, but please stop this! Stop trying to rewrite history, because you can't and if you can the means aren't right! I know you have made a lot of mistakes and lost a lot of people, but stop trying to change your fate and who you are! I would not change either for the world." He turned slowly to face her. Maybe.... she was right. Maybe... it was time to let go. He had to lose someone... and maybe Carl was happier up in heaven. Maybe he just wanted him to be happy too...

"You're right." Van Helsing conceded at last.

All the will seemed taken out of him, all the fight was gone. The Wavewriter had lost its hold on him, and instead thrust on him all the weariness of the world. Now that the adrenaline that had been keeping him alive fled, he could distinctly feel every last ache in his body and in his lower half especially. His legs and feet were so numb it hurt.

Wordlessly, he and Anna began their descent. This turned out to be even harder than they had thought it would be, and for Van Helsing it seemed the hardest. His world was swirling out of order before him, and he stumbled as he stepped. It made Anna nervous and she moved to help him, but he waved her off.

"'m fine." He slurred with a lazy wave.

Anna began to contradict him, but suddenly he wasn't there at all. Her heart pounded wildly as she heard the crash of rocks smacking the mountainside and saw the sudden gap in the snow beside her. Falling to her belly and looking down, she could do nothing but watch Van Helsing fall and scream his name.

Van Helsing felt even more helpless. He felt everything rushing by him, but saw no scenes of his life. No joy, no sorrow, nothing. The last thing that happened before that nothing became complete was his automatic drawing and firing of his grappling gun. Suddenly, the ground didn't seem to be growing any closer....

But the cliff he fell from sure as hell was.

A/n- I.... didn't expect it to happen that way...? Seriously. That was unexpected. That was not how it was planned. But then again, I didn't plan to write absolute crap tonight... and I did. it got real good, and then it sucked. And then it was OOC. And then it got good again. And then the ending decided to write itself and not come out half as good as it thought it would. --sigh-- damn my muses...

In hindsight, the title probably won't make sense to yall unless you got what I was saying in the opening poem. There was something Anna was gonna say that I ended up editing out mentally and I forgot. Just try and ignore it like the rest of the crap that happened....

The big finale is next, and it promises to be a lot better than this!!! Try to hang in there.... no pun intended.