Authors Note- Sorry for delay.. me tired. me can't type. you enjoy chapter. you thanks for reviews. night.
I follow the rushing gurney towards the awaiting helicopter. I have no clue what just happened, but its become crucial that Sebastian get to the medical centre in Minnesota as soon as possible. He's stable for the time being, so we are all hoping that he will stay that way for the trip. Its going to be one hell of a day. Carter cradles Madison in his arms as he runs in front of me. The wind smacks my face, the blades running, noise of the city below. I see Carter start yelling at the paramedic and I make my way closer. I hear the conversation. Only I was authorized to fly with Sebastian. Carter's a little ticked. I never said anything about either one of us going, but apparently I was presumed. Carter shoots me a death stare and I quickly look away. He starts to argue with the flight nurse as I move towards Seb. I grab his hand and squeeze gently. His fingers hold on to mine as tight as they can. I see Carter throw his hands up in defeat and I push Seb's hair back. He walks over towards me, Madison clinging on to him for dear life.
"You better take care of him because I will personally murder you." Thanks for the pep talk, Carter. I really appreciate all the support.
"I'm flying out as soon as I can." I nod my head and see the pilot motioning me towards the helicopter. I start to walk towards it, giving Carter a quick goodbye wave when I hear my name being called.
"Can I go with?"
I turn around and see Madison pleading with me, wanting nothing more than to be close to Sebastian. Carter looks at me dumbfounded, I run over to the flight attendant. After a bit of bitter words and negotiations, I push my way into letting her come along. I motion her over and she breaks away from Carter's grasp, running toward me. Carter follows her but then gives up defeated. I see the angry look on his face, and I simply shrug my shoulders. I help the nurse pull her into the seat and I follow her. I watch him from the window. I watch him watch me steal his children away. I have their lives in my hands right now. I can't let them go. I check Sebastian's stats, his pulse is beginning to drop. I check the tubes, something's not right. His heartbeat is slow, too slow. I grab the drug box, searching for the epi. I can't find it. And he needs it. Damn it. I grab it and push .5 milligrams into his IV. I grab his hand and squeeze it, he squeezes back gently. The ride seems longer than it should be. The world below us keeps on going, yet they will never know the truth above them. The pain, the tears, the devotion, the trust. So much happens in places yet unnoticed. I look at Madison. She plays with Sebastian's hair, protective of her only brother. She sits stiff and uninviting, she does not want me here. She wants to block out all the pain I've caused her.
A little under two hours, I've managed to figure out where I stand, what I want, what needs to be done. My watch says 9:47, yet I don't believe it. The trip from Chicago to Minneapolis did not take as long as I thought it would, yet every minute counts. Every second lasts longer than it should. We've made it, we've all made it. They take Sebastian first, rushing him inside. I sign the papers, authorizing my drug dosages, and pull Madison off the chopper. She holds on for a second, then becomes cold again. I set her down. She walks in front of me, I keep a close step behind her. I make my way to the ward, greeting the nurses, knowing my turf. I'm a doctor here: respected, admired, trusted. I greet the attending and hand him all the papers.
"Was he stable on the transfer?" I nod my head solemnly, pointing out the most recent medications administered. He makes notes on the newly started chart, a blank page that will eventually be filled up with more writing than humanly possible.
"Okay, so I suggest you go home and get some rest. We're starting treatment tonight, so he'll be out all night until tomorrow afternoon."I start to shake my head. I don't want to leave him. You can't be serious about me leaving him. I want to stay. I will stay. This is my son. You don't understand, what if this was your child? Would you be so accepting to hand him over into complete strangers arms?
"Dr. Lockhart, there is nothing you can do right now but care for yourself." I shift my gaze to what he is staring at, and Madison comes into view. She's standing by Sebastian's bed, holding his hand.
I instantly understand and mutter a quick "Thank you" and "Call me if anything happens." I walk towards the duo, pausing at the door just to make sure its okay for me to come in. I place a kiss on Sebastian's forehead, pushing away his dark brown hair.
"I love you, Kiddo. You'll pull through for me, right?" He nods his head weakly and I give him another kiss.
"We'll be back tomorrow... I love you." I see Madison give his hand one last squeeze and she starts out the door. I cover his fragile body with the blanket say a small prayer for him. He'll pull through. He'll somehow make it through all this. He has to.
I walk out the door, walking toward Madison. She is on her way towards the elevator, hands wrapped protectively around her. I place my hand on her shoulder and she quickly moves away. She wants nothing to do with me. I know that for a fact. But she's stuck with me.
"Maddie, you're coming home with me tonight. Your dad's flying in tomorrow morning."
She shrugs her shoulders, indifferent to the crappy situation she's been placed in. I take her hand but she denies it. I push her towards the door, the exit, the walk home. An endless battle to understand her, to connect with her, to somehow tell her I'm sorry. I can't do any of it. She won't let me. The hate she possesses magnifies off her, claiming my entire being, forcing me to silence. We reach my house, I can hear Siri crying in the background. Maggie probably didn't take him out on a walk, just let him out in the yard. I told her I was going to be home tonight, so to leave him inside. Maddie freezes in front of the door as the whimpers get louder and I shift my key into my lock. She stands behind me, I can feel her breathing on my back.
I walk in and I hear the panting of my massive beast somewhere in the living room. I flip the lights on and he walks in, sitting down a few feet in front of me. Madison follows me, in step with my own.
"He doesn't bite. His name is Sirius." She walks closer, and Siri stays still. She puts out her hand, and he examines it closely, as if understanding the owner through a simple gaze. He pushes his head under her hand, and she begins to scratch his ears. Nice move, he likes that. I leave them and walk into the kitchen, opening the patio door to let Siri out when he needs to go. I see him run out a few minutes later. I walk back to Maddie and start towards the stairs. I move towards my guest room, opening the door, letting her inspect her place. I pull a t-shirt out of my closet for her to sleep in for the night. Carter said he's brining her stuff tomorrow. I leave her in her silence, and downstairs. I shut the door and set the alarm. I feel like I'm sleepwalking. I can't see straight, the world has gone blurry. I check on Maddie, and she's already in bed. I walk to my room, Siri on my heels. He jumps on the end of the bed, making himself comfortable. I don't even bother to change out of my clothes, I simply shed them, and climb into bed. The soft sheets wrap around my body, the feather pillow lulls me into a quiet rest. I need to sleep, I need the energy to make it through all this, but most of all, I need to forget...
The growling stirs me, knocking me from slumber. I push him with my leg, but he does not relent. The stupid dog does not want to go out at this hour of the night. No. Just shut up. He hops off, looking at me and at the door. He barks a low bark, now he's growling at me. Damn dog. I swear he's part human with all the mood swings. I pull my robe on and follow him down the stairs. He gets to the front door and sits right in front of it. He lies down, as if he's expecting me to open the door. I am not arguing with my dog. I am not arguing with my goddamn dog.
"You're an idiot you know that? Why do I keep you? I should ship you off to Alaska. They could use you there." I undo the locks and I could have sworn my dog just rolled his eyes at me. Is that possible? Can dogs roll their eyes? Can he even understand what I'm saying?
"See, you bloody idiot, nothing there." I see his ears perk up, and he looks at the door then at me. I shift my attention to the door. Damn dog. Always right.
I see the exhaustion in his eyes, the hopelessness in his wake. He's mentally dead, physically dying. His body is slumping towards no restraint, his eyes searching but not finding. I move closer to him, my hand reaches up to his cheek, rough against the stubble. I take his hand from outside the door, pulling him in. How did he find me? How did he know? It doesn't matter. I drop his bags near the closet by the door. There will be time for all that later. I lead him slowly up the stairs, practically guiding him as a baby walking for the first time. He's destroying himself. He can't keep doing this to himself.
I reach my bedroom, shutting the door behind us. I quickly strip him of his clothes, leaving him in nothing but boxers and a shirt. He slowly complies with my actions, too overworked and preoccupied to care what I'm doing. I put him in bed, covering him with the comforter. I make my way to the other side, slipping into the little room he's left for me. I lean in towards him, resting my head against his shoulder, his arms wrap around my body. I lean up, placing a gentle kiss on his cheek. I can feel his slipping farther away from me, into a world of dreams. And I feel this all to be a dream, a dream that will slowly dissipate as soon as the sun rises, and I wake up.
Review Responses
smilez4eva- Hm, Maddie might come around, not sure yet though.
FallenAngel- Thank you:) Maddie is really fun to write, she's kickin'.
Pa- Abby left Maddie , she's just feeling angsty that Maddie.
ER-Carby-Luva- I duno how Seb is going to be, Liby's writing chapter seven right now lol. Buit I don't know if there will be much improvement from now till then on Seb's condition.
Hibbs- lol thanks, we enjoy angst, it keeps the ball rolling lol. By the way I love your fic London Rain. I will review the next chapter you post, I have been reading it and I love it.
shygirly- I know I would totally do a guy with the name trent haha jokes. No but I do think its a hot name... Hmm I'll have to think about that.. that is a good idea though!
fiery red-haired girl- Nope seb's alive and kicking, well not exactly kicking, but you get my point lol.
Tilde8884- Cliff hanger not long... :)
FallenAngel- I agree Abby should do some of the comforting every once in a while. Everything has one little detail its a pain in the kaboose, when youa re writing and just cant fix that detail. But i can't write poetry at all. I usually write short blurbs or stories or whatever:)
I follow the rushing gurney towards the awaiting helicopter. I have no clue what just happened, but its become crucial that Sebastian get to the medical centre in Minnesota as soon as possible. He's stable for the time being, so we are all hoping that he will stay that way for the trip. Its going to be one hell of a day. Carter cradles Madison in his arms as he runs in front of me. The wind smacks my face, the blades running, noise of the city below. I see Carter start yelling at the paramedic and I make my way closer. I hear the conversation. Only I was authorized to fly with Sebastian. Carter's a little ticked. I never said anything about either one of us going, but apparently I was presumed. Carter shoots me a death stare and I quickly look away. He starts to argue with the flight nurse as I move towards Seb. I grab his hand and squeeze gently. His fingers hold on to mine as tight as they can. I see Carter throw his hands up in defeat and I push Seb's hair back. He walks over towards me, Madison clinging on to him for dear life.
"You better take care of him because I will personally murder you." Thanks for the pep talk, Carter. I really appreciate all the support.
"I'm flying out as soon as I can." I nod my head and see the pilot motioning me towards the helicopter. I start to walk towards it, giving Carter a quick goodbye wave when I hear my name being called.
"Can I go with?"
I turn around and see Madison pleading with me, wanting nothing more than to be close to Sebastian. Carter looks at me dumbfounded, I run over to the flight attendant. After a bit of bitter words and negotiations, I push my way into letting her come along. I motion her over and she breaks away from Carter's grasp, running toward me. Carter follows her but then gives up defeated. I see the angry look on his face, and I simply shrug my shoulders. I help the nurse pull her into the seat and I follow her. I watch him from the window. I watch him watch me steal his children away. I have their lives in my hands right now. I can't let them go. I check Sebastian's stats, his pulse is beginning to drop. I check the tubes, something's not right. His heartbeat is slow, too slow. I grab the drug box, searching for the epi. I can't find it. And he needs it. Damn it. I grab it and push .5 milligrams into his IV. I grab his hand and squeeze it, he squeezes back gently. The ride seems longer than it should be. The world below us keeps on going, yet they will never know the truth above them. The pain, the tears, the devotion, the trust. So much happens in places yet unnoticed. I look at Madison. She plays with Sebastian's hair, protective of her only brother. She sits stiff and uninviting, she does not want me here. She wants to block out all the pain I've caused her.
A little under two hours, I've managed to figure out where I stand, what I want, what needs to be done. My watch says 9:47, yet I don't believe it. The trip from Chicago to Minneapolis did not take as long as I thought it would, yet every minute counts. Every second lasts longer than it should. We've made it, we've all made it. They take Sebastian first, rushing him inside. I sign the papers, authorizing my drug dosages, and pull Madison off the chopper. She holds on for a second, then becomes cold again. I set her down. She walks in front of me, I keep a close step behind her. I make my way to the ward, greeting the nurses, knowing my turf. I'm a doctor here: respected, admired, trusted. I greet the attending and hand him all the papers.
"Was he stable on the transfer?" I nod my head solemnly, pointing out the most recent medications administered. He makes notes on the newly started chart, a blank page that will eventually be filled up with more writing than humanly possible.
"Okay, so I suggest you go home and get some rest. We're starting treatment tonight, so he'll be out all night until tomorrow afternoon."I start to shake my head. I don't want to leave him. You can't be serious about me leaving him. I want to stay. I will stay. This is my son. You don't understand, what if this was your child? Would you be so accepting to hand him over into complete strangers arms?
"Dr. Lockhart, there is nothing you can do right now but care for yourself." I shift my gaze to what he is staring at, and Madison comes into view. She's standing by Sebastian's bed, holding his hand.
I instantly understand and mutter a quick "Thank you" and "Call me if anything happens." I walk towards the duo, pausing at the door just to make sure its okay for me to come in. I place a kiss on Sebastian's forehead, pushing away his dark brown hair.
"I love you, Kiddo. You'll pull through for me, right?" He nods his head weakly and I give him another kiss.
"We'll be back tomorrow... I love you." I see Madison give his hand one last squeeze and she starts out the door. I cover his fragile body with the blanket say a small prayer for him. He'll pull through. He'll somehow make it through all this. He has to.
I walk out the door, walking toward Madison. She is on her way towards the elevator, hands wrapped protectively around her. I place my hand on her shoulder and she quickly moves away. She wants nothing to do with me. I know that for a fact. But she's stuck with me.
"Maddie, you're coming home with me tonight. Your dad's flying in tomorrow morning."
She shrugs her shoulders, indifferent to the crappy situation she's been placed in. I take her hand but she denies it. I push her towards the door, the exit, the walk home. An endless battle to understand her, to connect with her, to somehow tell her I'm sorry. I can't do any of it. She won't let me. The hate she possesses magnifies off her, claiming my entire being, forcing me to silence. We reach my house, I can hear Siri crying in the background. Maggie probably didn't take him out on a walk, just let him out in the yard. I told her I was going to be home tonight, so to leave him inside. Maddie freezes in front of the door as the whimpers get louder and I shift my key into my lock. She stands behind me, I can feel her breathing on my back.
I walk in and I hear the panting of my massive beast somewhere in the living room. I flip the lights on and he walks in, sitting down a few feet in front of me. Madison follows me, in step with my own.
"He doesn't bite. His name is Sirius." She walks closer, and Siri stays still. She puts out her hand, and he examines it closely, as if understanding the owner through a simple gaze. He pushes his head under her hand, and she begins to scratch his ears. Nice move, he likes that. I leave them and walk into the kitchen, opening the patio door to let Siri out when he needs to go. I see him run out a few minutes later. I walk back to Maddie and start towards the stairs. I move towards my guest room, opening the door, letting her inspect her place. I pull a t-shirt out of my closet for her to sleep in for the night. Carter said he's brining her stuff tomorrow. I leave her in her silence, and downstairs. I shut the door and set the alarm. I feel like I'm sleepwalking. I can't see straight, the world has gone blurry. I check on Maddie, and she's already in bed. I walk to my room, Siri on my heels. He jumps on the end of the bed, making himself comfortable. I don't even bother to change out of my clothes, I simply shed them, and climb into bed. The soft sheets wrap around my body, the feather pillow lulls me into a quiet rest. I need to sleep, I need the energy to make it through all this, but most of all, I need to forget...
The growling stirs me, knocking me from slumber. I push him with my leg, but he does not relent. The stupid dog does not want to go out at this hour of the night. No. Just shut up. He hops off, looking at me and at the door. He barks a low bark, now he's growling at me. Damn dog. I swear he's part human with all the mood swings. I pull my robe on and follow him down the stairs. He gets to the front door and sits right in front of it. He lies down, as if he's expecting me to open the door. I am not arguing with my dog. I am not arguing with my goddamn dog.
"You're an idiot you know that? Why do I keep you? I should ship you off to Alaska. They could use you there." I undo the locks and I could have sworn my dog just rolled his eyes at me. Is that possible? Can dogs roll their eyes? Can he even understand what I'm saying?
"See, you bloody idiot, nothing there." I see his ears perk up, and he looks at the door then at me. I shift my attention to the door. Damn dog. Always right.
I see the exhaustion in his eyes, the hopelessness in his wake. He's mentally dead, physically dying. His body is slumping towards no restraint, his eyes searching but not finding. I move closer to him, my hand reaches up to his cheek, rough against the stubble. I take his hand from outside the door, pulling him in. How did he find me? How did he know? It doesn't matter. I drop his bags near the closet by the door. There will be time for all that later. I lead him slowly up the stairs, practically guiding him as a baby walking for the first time. He's destroying himself. He can't keep doing this to himself.
I reach my bedroom, shutting the door behind us. I quickly strip him of his clothes, leaving him in nothing but boxers and a shirt. He slowly complies with my actions, too overworked and preoccupied to care what I'm doing. I put him in bed, covering him with the comforter. I make my way to the other side, slipping into the little room he's left for me. I lean in towards him, resting my head against his shoulder, his arms wrap around my body. I lean up, placing a gentle kiss on his cheek. I can feel his slipping farther away from me, into a world of dreams. And I feel this all to be a dream, a dream that will slowly dissipate as soon as the sun rises, and I wake up.
Review Responses
smilez4eva- Hm, Maddie might come around, not sure yet though.
FallenAngel- Thank you:) Maddie is really fun to write, she's kickin'.
Pa- Abby left Maddie , she's just feeling angsty that Maddie.
ER-Carby-Luva- I duno how Seb is going to be, Liby's writing chapter seven right now lol. Buit I don't know if there will be much improvement from now till then on Seb's condition.
Hibbs- lol thanks, we enjoy angst, it keeps the ball rolling lol. By the way I love your fic London Rain. I will review the next chapter you post, I have been reading it and I love it.
shygirly- I know I would totally do a guy with the name trent haha jokes. No but I do think its a hot name... Hmm I'll have to think about that.. that is a good idea though!
fiery red-haired girl- Nope seb's alive and kicking, well not exactly kicking, but you get my point lol.
Tilde8884- Cliff hanger not long... :)
FallenAngel- I agree Abby should do some of the comforting every once in a while. Everything has one little detail its a pain in the kaboose, when youa re writing and just cant fix that detail. But i can't write poetry at all. I usually write short blurbs or stories or whatever:)