Great news! Thanks to some wonderful luck (and an equally wonderful mother) I was able to see Rent 3 weeks before I was supposed to. I saw it June 7, Sebastian Arcelus's second to last show. (he was great by the way). So I've really been inspired by seeing the show so hopefully this will be better now. On to chapter 5!
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Chapter 5: Back on the Street
The next morning, Roger slept late, getting over the remains of his midnight fix. When he finally got up it was around 12:30 in the afternoon, and the house was empty. He leaned against the doorframe, his temples pounding as he fought to remember where everyone was. Benny had work, yes that's right, he got a new job at Grey Communications. Collins worked too… Collins told him something, what was it? And where was Mark? Who knows, maybe filming something with Maureen. No, he didn't love Maureen; he loved April. That's what Collins said, that he wasn't in love, or she wasn't in love. April didn't love him. But he loved April, Roger loved April, he watched her dance last night.
Roger continued to confuse himself, slipping in and out of consciousness, as he fought his way downstairs to the couch. He lay down, his head swimming in his own thoughts. The door opened, creaking loudly.
"Who is it?" Roger asked groggily.
"It's Mark"
Shit! Roger thought, he's gonna kill me.
"Oh hi."
"What are you doing?" Mark asked.
"Trying to sleep." There's something I have to tell him.
"Oh sorry, I didn't mean to bother you," Mark said, not sounding convinced.
"It's ok." Don't tell him, he doesn't want to know.
"You ok?"
No don't start; I don't want you to get mad at me.
"Roger?"
Just lay here, you don't feel well… that's it, if he asks, you're sick.
"Are you ok?" Mark repeated, slightly louder.
"Sick," Roger blurted.
"Really? When did this happen?"
Stupid idiot, he can't even tell when I'm faking.
Mark sat down next to him, "Can I get you something?"
"No, I'm good."
Tell him what Collins said; he has to know. No he can't, he loves her…
"When did you start feeling sick?"
"Last night."
"What do you think caused it?"
You probably know already.
"You sure you're ok?" Mark asked once again.
"Yeah, just tired."
He doesn't believe me
"I have to tell you something." said Roger suddenly.
"What?"
"You love her."
"Who?"
"You love April."
Mark looked at him, surprised, "No I don't."
"You love her, but she doesn't love you."
"April?"
"Maureen."
Mark's happy and curious mood vanished almost instantly; he looked shocked and hurt and almost mad that Roger would say something like that.
"Listen," Mark said, trying to blow it off, "You're high Roger, don't look at me like I'm crazy, I can tell. And I've told you before, you can't do this anymore and I could throw your ass in rehab right now and it would serve you right-"
"She loves you." Roger interrupted.
"You just said she didn't!"
"I lied ok?"
"Why? Why would you lie?!"
Roger threw his head back, his forehead throbbing.
"Stop yelling," he said, "My head's gonna explode."
"Sorry," Mark said, lowering his voice, "It's just… why would you say that? Besides the obvious that you're doing smack again after you promised you stop and… God Roger, I'm sick of watching you hurt yourself!"
"Yeah I know, Collins told me."
"He did? When?"
"Last night after you went to bed."
"Yeah well, it's true. Look, when you started this whole thing, I was sympathetic, I knew you were hurting so I didn't say anything, but I'm sick of it. You need to stop, period."
"You can't tell me what to do," Roger said, sounding like a child.
"Yeah well, no one else is going to so I might as well."
"Ok fine, point taken, just stop sounding like my mother."
Mark laughed, "Oh please don't tell me that."
"Well you do!" he imitated him mother's high-pitched voice, " 'Oh Roger honey I just don't understand you lately, you've become so strange.' "
"I do not sound like that!" Mark said indignantly.
"Yes you do!"
"Ok fine, I'll shut up."
"Thank-you!"
They sat around for a while, and around 15 minutes later Roger stood up slowly.
"Where're you going?" Mark asked, looking up from his latest screenplay that he was looking over.
"I'm gonna go for a walk." he said, grabbing his leather jacket.
"Want me to go with you?"
"Nah, I just need some fresh air, my head hurts."
"Gee I wonder why," Mark muttered.
"I heard that." Roger said, smiling, "Look, I'm fine. Don't worry about me."
"I can't help it," Mark said after Roger disappeared out the door, "You're my best friend."
Slowly, he turned his camera on, pointing it at himself.
"I know I don't normally film for the sake of filming, but today I make an exception. I came home again today to find Roger nearly passed out on the couch; he's gone out for a walk, and when he left I literally could see his body shaking from the way he was shivering. I feel like I have to help him and I'm not sure how I can, since he doesn't want to be helped. I know Collins has talked to him, I asked him to, but nothing we say is getting through to him. And today Roger told me that Maureen doesn't love me. I don't know why I'm dwelling on it, he was talking nonsense the whole time, he didn't know what he was saying, but still, I can't help but wonder…" Mark's voice trailed off.
"Anyway," he said, catching himself, "Maureen was acting suspicious last night but she promised she wouldn't do anything to hurt me and I trust her. I trust her because I love her, and I'm not just saying that because I can. I don't know, maybe I'm going crazy or something, it would make sense, I'm talking to a camera! But, I don't know, I guess I'm just confused as to what to do next."
He switched off the camera and put it down next to him. He wished he could go back to the days where he could tell Roger his problems instead of his camera, but he couldn't; Roger's addiction sat higher than Mark on his list of priorities. Once again, Mark found himself growing angry at what Roger had done to himself, and he still couldn't figure out why that was.
"Not like it matters," Mark said to himself, "He'll never listen to me."
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Roger pulled his jacket closer to him, he was sweating like a pig but it was a cold February afternoon. He felt lightheaded and irritated, but it didn't matter, his smack would make it go away. Somehow what was once his small pleasure had turned into his greatest necessity; it was starting to control him. He headed away from the loft and down the street, looking for the place where he normally bought his stash. He had only gone a few blocks when he heard several voices talking, one of which he recognized.
"How much this time?" asked a female voice.
"For you? 25." answered the voice Roger recognized to be the man he bought his stash from. As he walked closer he saw the familiar burly frame of the man whose name he didn't know, handing a bag a white powder to a young woman who looked strangely familiar.
"Thanks," the girl said quietly.
"No problem," the man said, smiling, "Come back anytime you need more."
"Sure."
"And who's this?" the man said, gesturing to someone Roger couldn't see, "Newcomer? I give discounts."
"No thanks," the person answered, "I'm not into that. Come on Mimi we have to go, we're late for work."
Roger stepped closer and saw that the "newcomer" was a drag queen who was wearing a bright red skirt and a glittering black halter-top.
"I'm coming Angel," the girl answered after a moment, turning around to face him. As soon as she had turned, Roger recognized her; it was the handcuff girl. She looked much thinner and wasted without the makeup; she was wearing a simple very short black dress with lace sleeves. She smiled at him as he approached, but it didn't look like she recognized him. The drag queen gave him a short, sweet smile as the two left quickly, heading in the direction of the club where he had seen her the night before.
"Well well well, what have we here?" the man asked, spotting Roger, "Back so soon?"
"Yeah sure whatever, how much?" Roger asked impatiently.
"Busy? Got somewhere to go? No problem, we'll get right down to business."
"Fine, how much?"
"30."
"What? But you just charged her 25!" Roger yelled, gesturing in the direction the handcuff girl had gone.
"Calm down! You wanna get picky go ahead, but I don't like when people yell," the man said, slowly putting the package away.
"No wait! Here," Roger said, thrusting the money into his hand, "Take it."
"Pleasure doing business with you."
"Yeah sure." Roger turned away, staring at the packet in his hand. He was home free; all he needed to do was hide it underneath his mattress and wait until Mark wasn't around… he smiled at the idea of leaving the world behind again.
"Roger?" he heard a voice call. He whipped his head around to see who had called him and his face fell when he saw Collins standing on the corner. His arms were crossed and the look on his face said he had saw the whole thing.
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Review por favor!