Chapter 6: I Once Was Born To Be Bad
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Collins crossed the street and walked over to Roger, a disapproving look in his eyes.
"Hey," Roger said, trying to stay casual, "What are you doing here?"
"Just got done with a class. And why are you out here?"
Roger looked at his feet, feeling the guilt that had appeared when he talked to Mark begin to resurface.
"I'm just out for a walk."
"Really?"
Roger shifted his weight from one foot to the other, trying desperately not to look his friend in the eye.
"I was just on my way home," Collins said, "You coming?"
"Yeah, ok."
Maybe I should tell him about the drag queen. Roger joked to himself, He'd probably forget the whole thing if I set them up. He didn't voice the idea; Collins didn't seem to be in a very good mood.
"So how was your class?" Roger asked tentatively.
"Fine, how was your walk?"
"Fine."
They walked down the block in silence, which was driving Roger crazy; he preferred that Collins just start yelling at him, to tell him what an idiot he was and how he was throwing his life away or something. This silence… it was worse.
He slipped a hand in his pocket and felt the packet he just bought; now he didn't feel as good about having it. Collins hadn't said anything, he was pretending that nothing had happened, and Roger knew he should be relieved but he wasn't; he felt almost as if he wanted to be reprimanded. But that didn't make any sense; no one went around looking for trouble. Maybe that's why he liked it so much; he liked that rebel feeling.
Dammit Collins, Roger thought to himself, I hate when you use that reverse psychology crap.Out of the corner of his eye, Roger could have sworn he saw Collins smile slightly. He rolled his eyes, determined not to let Collins win this argument that he was having with himself. Eventually, he couldn't take the silence anymore.
"You know, I hate when you do this," He stated.
"What? I didn't say a thing," Collins replied, starting to smirk.
"Exactly! You say nothing so that I start telling myself all the things you would tell me and then I end up arguing with myself!"
Collins chuckled, "Sounds to me like you need serious medication if you talk to yourself."
Roger pushed him with his shoulder, "No, I just need you to stop doing that."
"Why? It works."
Ok so he had a point.
"No it doesn't," Roger said.
"Yes it does."
"No."
"Yes."
"No!"
"Ok we sound like three year olds," Collins said, laughing again, "And obviously it does or else you wouldn't have brought it up."
Another good point.
"I didn't bring it up," Roger said, even though he knew he had, "What makes you think that?"
"You really want me to answer that?"
"You know, one of these days I am going to find something that I can rag on you about and then you will get all this and you will be the one on the losing side of the argument!"
"So you admit you're losing?"
Roger looked away, "No, I never said that."
Collins coughed.
"Ok fine!" Roger admitted, "Man you're annoying."
Collins grinned, "Glad to hear it. See isn't this better than us screaming at each other?"
"No, not really," Roger grumbled.
Collins: 10, Roger: 0
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"Hey! Anyone home?" Collins called as the two walked into the loft.
"Yeah!" Mark's voice called out, "I'm in my room, be out in a second."
Roger threw his coat onto the couch and sat down next to it, Collins hopped onto the table, picking up Mark's latest screenplay and studying it. Mark emerged from his room, clad only in jeans and running a towel over his damp hair.
"Just take a shower?" Roger asked.
"I was bored."
"Oh so that's what it takes to make you shower! I'll keep that in mind next time you start to smell." Collins said, grinning.
Mark threw the towel at him, hitting in right in the face, "You know, you're not very funny."
"Yes I am!"
Suddenly there was a large racket coming from the hallway.
"Benny's home!" Mark said, going to unlock the door.
"You are not going to believe this!" Benny exclaimed, walking in with a look of pride on his face.
"What?" Mark asked, only mildly interested.
"You know Mr. Grey's daughter Alison?"
"Not personally," Roger replied.
"Well, from the way Mr. Grey was talking about her, I expected her to be some pig-tailed braces-wearing twelve year old but she is hot! I was talking to her this morning and wow!"
"Red flag going up there amigo," Collins said, getting up, "Rule number 1: No hitting on your boss's daughter. Past experiences tell me that's a serious no-no."
"You hit on your boss's daughter?" Roger asked, surprised.
"Well, son, but same idea. I got fired and escorted off the premises. Of course, not before I got his cell phone number but that's beside the point."
"But she is gorgeous! Not to mention successful, I mean if we get together I may actually be able to open up that studio we talked about."
"I doubt that. You'd have to marry her and get on her father's good side at the same time in order for that to happen," Mark noted.
Benny smiled, "Anything's possible."
Roger rolled his eyes, Benny was one of his closest friends but he was such a dreamer.
"Ok fine, I'll wait a while," Benny said, seeing the looks on everyone's faces, "How's a week sound?"
Collins shook his head, "You are insane my friend, but I hope it works for you."
"Thanks man, hey I just got a paycheck so dinner's on me tonight."
"Works for me!" Mark said quickly, "Just let me change and I'll be ready."
"We should probably wait for Maureen," Collins said slowly.
Mark smiled, "Or we could do that."
Roger stood up, "I'm gonna go get changed, I look like crap."
"Since when do you care about what you look like?" Benny asked.
"Since two seconds ago," Roger replied, looking at his watch.
He headed up to his room, shutting the door behind him. Slowly, he took out the packet of smack from his pocket and went to his mattress to get his needle. As he held the syringe up to fill it, he remembered his conversation with Collins; or rather his conversation with himself saying what Collins would have said.
Isn't this better than us screaming at each other?Roger stared at the packet in his hand; did he really want to do this? He hated when Mark and Collins were mad at him; they were his best friends. Maybe he could go today without shooting up, everyone was in a good mood and he had to hang with them all night so they'd know if he was high.
Slowly, he went over to the trashcan in the corner and held the packet over it; he wanted nothing more than to rid himself of this whole problem but at the same time he felt the need to have his smack around. He needed it for when days were hard, when he couldn't take everything; hell, now he needed it for pretty much everything. But he couldn't keep lying to his friends, leaving the world behind whenever times got hard. He needed to fight harder.
Feeling as if he was pulling his fingers out of cement, he let go and watched the packet fall into the garbage. He felt an enormous weight lift from his chest, and he hoped this was a possible step towards leaving the addiction behind.
"That was great."
Roger turned around quickly; Collins was standing in the doorway, watching him. Roger had been so distracted with what he was doing he hadn't heard the door open.
"What made you do it?" Collins asked.
"Because," Roger replied slowly, "There's this lost cause I believe in called myself."
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I don't know if it's evident, but Sebastian's performance really inspired me, I can see Roger much clearer now. Hopefully that will improve the story. Please Review!